Insights Into Teens: Episode 9 “School Drama”

Madison and Joe talk about School Drama, the causes of that drama and how best to deal with it. Drama in school draws on many of the social anxieties that teens face and can be overwhelming in a teenager who is ill-equipped to handle it.

Insights Into Teens
Insights into Teens Podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1:0:09Welcome to insights into teens, a podcast series, exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison, Waylon, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

Speaker 2:0:33Welcome to insights into teens. This is episode nine school drama. I’m your host, Joseph Waylon and my cohost Madison Waylon. Hello everyone. How are you doing today? Madison doing pretty good. Anything exciting happen this week for you?

Speaker 3:0:53Well, other than like stuff that normally happened at school for normal week.

Speaker 2:0:58Well you did have a field trip this week. Didn’t? Yeah. Yeah. Where’d you go for that?

Speaker 3:1:03I went to the Penn Museum.

Speaker 2:1:05Interesting. Did you enjoy it?

Speaker 3:1:07Well, I thought I was going to be all full. Wasn’t Miller that off also?

Speaker 2:1:12Well that’s good. That’s a positive note I guess so. So today we are going to be talking about a high school drama. We will define what high school drama is loosely kind of, uh, it is a definition that comes from the urban dictionary, which is not necessarily, uh, you know, the, the biggest source of information out there. The most accurate. Yeah. But it’s the only one that I could really find for this, this type of thing. We’ll then talk about the 10 most common things that teenagers face primarily at school. I think you’ll find it. Many of these, uh, we’ve actually talked about already on the podcast. Yeah. Um, then we will discuss some typical types of drama. Okay. And, uh, for some of those we do have some, uh, some answers to solve some of that drama. Okay. And, uh, then we’ll finish off with your final thoughts on things. So let’s get right into it.

Speaker 4:2:22Okay.

Speaker 2:2:22So the urban dictionary defines high school drama as the drama between people at high school, which people seem to create around themselves just to have a bit of action in their lives. High school drama is a phrase used to ridicule the mindset in teens. So let me ask you a first off, do you experience high school drama in school?

Speaker 3:2:47Well, it’s not really big drama if I ever have it. I mean, I do if I just, my friends occasionally, but it hasn’t happened for a while now. So yeah, nothing really goes on my friends anymore. We don’t have that kind of drama anymore. I’m doing classmates. There really is no drama other than, well I’m, I’m feel like I’m invisible.

Speaker 2:3:11I could understand that. And that’s actually one of the things that you will find that we’re going to talk about shortly. That could be one of the factors of a school drama. Okay. So let’s talk briefly about the 10 most common issues that teenagers faced today. Now, the premise of this is that it all happens in high school, so they suffer from negative body image. Do you find that you or kids that you know suffer from negative body image?

Speaker 3:3:43Well, I haven’t really seen anyone really act as though they care about. How about looking different? I mean, I know I’ve never really felt that way. I mean, I just know I’m just me and I really don’t want to change anything. I feel as though I’m okay just the way I am.

Speaker 2:4:08And I think what you’ll find is as the kids get older and they start to advance more through puberty, that this is going to become more and more of an issue, especially as kids reached the dating age.

Speaker 3:4:22Oh yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2:4:24All of that stuff gets much more complicated at that point.

Speaker 3:4:28Yeah, I can definitely see that.

Speaker 2:4:30The other thing that they have on here, number two on the list is a longing to belong to supportive and accepting communities beyond their family. And we talked briefly about this the other day where kids want to be a part of, you know, what we used to call the in crowd, the popular kids or you know, the kids that uh, every, every group has their own click of kid. Do you find, you mentioned already that you feel left out. Do you see these groups existing, these, these in crowns that you want to be a part of?

Speaker 3:5:04Well, I do see the groups, but I don’t really feel as though I want to be a part of them. But even though I do wish to be stolen, I liked them. And actually I have friends in my class. I really don’t get along with many other people in my class and I just go with the friends. They have an aftercare and my neighbors and stuff like that.

Speaker 2:5:28We’re going to ask you real quick. You see you don’t get along with the kids in class. Is it that you don’t get along with them or they don’t get along with you?

Speaker 3:5:35I guess both. A little bit of both. Yeah. I mean, you know, I’m independent. You know how I can be when I want to be independent.

Speaker 2:5:44Yes, you can be very independent

Speaker 3:5:46and honestly whenever we had to do group projects, I always hated it because I had to. I just, I don’t know, I just didn’t really want to work with them and I’m pretty sure they wanted to work with a friend, which is always, which is another reason why they probably never really picked me and I prefer to do it independently. And I think one of the reasons why I prefer to do it independently is because no one else would really want me in their group, which is why I just get used to doing things in dependently and I’m totally okay with it.

Speaker 2:6:16And I think you’re going to see that change as you get to the higher grades too. So the next thing on the top 10 list here was the experience, stress and difficulty prioritizing and managing their time. Now I know you’ve had some issues with time management when it comes to projects and stuff like that. Is that generally a point of stress for you?

Speaker 3:6:39Sometimes. Yeah, because I would want to worry about the project more than I wanted to worry about the rest of what I was doing. So,

Speaker 2:6:47okay. So the next thing they have is they feel lots of pressure from peers, parents and society to conform to conflicting expectations. You feel any of that? I feel

Speaker 3:7:00so the teachers are going to try and pressure us and especially when again, the middle school and they have very high expectations and I thought like the expectations for sixth grade where were high. I just can’t imagine the middle school.

Speaker 2:7:17And it’s funny you mentioned that because from the stories you’re telling me, it does sound like the teachers seem to be applying more pressure and to a certain extent that’s their job, but it needs to be pressure with an end goal. It’s, it’s pressure to prepare you for what you’re going to run into and sometimes it almost seems like it’s pressure pressure just to scare you, which I don’t see where the constructive part of that is. They are at risk of mental and physical health issues now for mental issues here. I’m assuming they’re talking about things like depression and stuff like that, which we’ve talked about. I mean you, I think we, we’ve been able to safely conclude that you’re not suffering from depression at this point in time. You’re suffering from stress and fatigue, which unfortunately is very common in teenagers unfortunately. Uh, the next one is a lack of good mentors, role models and heroes. Now, total disclosure here, we’ve tried on two separate occasions to do a podcast on a role models and we haven’t been able to get it off the ground. And it’s mainly because there hasn’t been really a role model deficiency for you. But when it comes to mentors and heroes, do you have a mentor that you look up to?

Speaker 3:8:37Well, I look up to my past teachers and um, my current teachers, I look up to both you and mommy. I mean, who wouldn’t, what teen wouldn’t really look up to their parents unless while their parents meet bad decisions.

Speaker 2:8:51Yeah, I guess older people. I know. Okay. That’s, I think that’s certainly fair. Or they’re attempting to begin unhealthy patterns with drugs and alcohol. Uh, has there been any temptation for any of that stuff for you in school?

Speaker 3:9:08No, actually I tried to avoid it.

Speaker 2:9:10Good for you. I know you get very upset if mommy has a glass of wine. You think she’s, you know, got me get drunk drunk. Yeah. Yeah. So,

Speaker 3:9:19yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m staying away from all that stuff.

Speaker 2:9:22And you know, alcohol when you were an adult in moderation is perfectly fine. But you know, anything in moderation generally is fine. Not Drugs though. I mean, if it’s an illegal drug, it’s an illegal drug. Exposure to on screen violence, an unhealthy social media. What do you think about that?

Speaker 3:9:40Like when someone gives out a mean comment and you’re basically bullied online a bunch of times and yet you haven’t really thought of doing anything about it.

Speaker 2:9:51Yeah, I mean, social media itself, I mean, to me social media is assessable. It’s, it’s nothing but people trying to attack other people and an insult, other people and stuff. So I try to avoid it like the plague myself. But I was working cern with on screen violence, whether it’s TV, movies, video games, that, that type of thing. What kind of exposure do you have to that?

Speaker 3:10:15The only violent video game I played was call of duty. That’s pretty violent. Yeah. But I don’t really play it that often anymore. I haven’t really played in a awhile. I mainly stick to mine craft and I’m watching like youtube videos. Okay. Alright. [inaudible] caps and cartoons.

Speaker 2:10:34That’s pretty tame. Uh, the next two things here, the first one they have is bullying, which we’ve talked about already in a previous podcast. Yeah. Yeah. And the other is they may participate in risky sexual activity and behavior. Have you had any kind of exposure to anyone trying to make any kind of advances like that towards you?

Speaker 3:10:56Honestly, no. Um, I’m pretty sure that no one actually really wants to do that with me, which is why I prefer to live my life on my own and I’m fine with just being single.

Speaker 2:11:08Okay. Um, has your father, I am perfectly fine with that myself too. You have plenty of time for that in your life later on. Yeah. You don’t need to be introducing that stuff at this point in time. So that’s our top 10 and those top 10 lead us to types of social drama. So that will be our next subject that we talk about. So the first type of social drama that we’re going to talk about is social anxiety. That’s defined as a social anxiety is the fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people leading the feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, selfconsciousness, embarrassment, humiliation and depression. So a couple of the symptoms are a couple of the causes of social anxiety is the fear of being judged. Do you are, do you feel judged? Let me ask you that. First of all, yes. And under what circumstances?

Speaker 3:12:10Mainly whenever there’s a sport that we do. Okay. Just recently I had Jim yesterday and I kept trying to throw the ball towards the PR person on my team. They catch it. But every time I did I mess and the other team always got the ball. So that Kinda made me feel a bit sad because I thought people were judging me on how, why I don’t really have that good of a throw. And I’m not really that athletic

Speaker 2:12:42now are they, were they making fun of your openly or criticizing, you know, we just felt self conscious as a result. Yeah, understood. Uh, the other is a fear of looking stupid. Now they don’t really give details on this, but I know I look stupid if I’m in a group of people and I try to make a joke and the joke falls flat and nobody laughs at it, I tend to feel stupid. Or if I don’t know the answer to something that I should know the answer to. Do you have situations where you experienced this?

Speaker 3:13:14Well, whenever we have to do our spelling free test, I always like get most of them wrong. Even though I just saw the words. And sometimes I’m like, are these words even real words? I don’t, I’ve never heard this word before. What does this help me, help me help me. And the worst part is that people actually great that another person actually grades, um, how you spelled it. And every time I get a lot wrong, I just feel like I’m stupid.

Speaker 2:13:42Oh, see now that’s, that’s terrible. When you’ve got one of your classmates that are great, are you in a situation like that?

Speaker 3:13:47I also feel stupid whenever we have to grade each other’s mass math quizzes or tests because we also do that which I hate.

Speaker 2:13:55Well, and the thing is sometimes just that fear of somebody else grading you can cause anxiety and and influence how you answer those questions because you’re under pressure. That’s a bad thing. You’re going to see that drop off the further you get into school too. I can promise you that much. So the next thing that we have here is drama with peers. Teens tend to have mood swings as we already know. Yup. And hormonal fluctuations, which we already know. Yes. In addition to these obstacles, teens are also finding out who they are and searching for their place in the world. All of these factors together can lead to fall out with friends, romantic breakups and other types of pure related dramas. So we know that you have mood swings. Yes. How? How much of a negative impact has those mood swings had on your relationships with your friends?

Speaker 3:14:58It’s usually happened in the morning whenever I had fights and I would just get angry at my friends getting grid them for something stupid. They’d be angry at me. We stopped talking for the rest of the day, but then like by the end of the day we’d make up.

Speaker 2:15:14It’s all right. So it seems like it hasn’t been a huge problem, but being aware of the fact that it happens, I think is the important thing.

Speaker 3:15:22Yeah, and there was only one time where I think it lasted a week. It didn’t last very long, but we made up after or,

Speaker 2:15:31okay, so the next thing we have is appearance says this probably features as the number one problem on every teenage girls problem list. Although it doesn’t sound like it’s particularly high in your list. This is the time when her body is constantly changing and she has to cope with it. Obviously you’re going through those changes that teenagers go through now. Do you find that you’re in accounting difficulty at school as a result of those changes?

Speaker 3:16:00Because of how I look,

Speaker 2:16:02how you look, how your body functions, how puberty is affecting your body.

Speaker 3:16:08Well, there’s no real problem with my body other than the fact that whenever I have my period, I always have to go to the bathroom and I sometimes miss a few things, but I always catch up with it.

Speaker 2:16:24So that’s not causing any kind of impact of school or anything. Oh, not really. Well, that’s good. You’re very lucky. The next one that we have is one that is particularly sensitive to your father and that his dating. Yeah. Now you’re not dating yet, are you? No, of course not. Teenage already comes with a lot of problems and challenges. The sudden increased flow of sex hormones inside of the body makes it even worse. You might find your girl failing for falling for her first crush and vulnerable to romantic liaisons. A lot of teenage girls experience healthy crushes an early age love to however, peer pressure changing times and the advancement of media has sort of associate at sex to such teenage romantic relationships. This makes your teenage girl feel that sex is, but natural is both natural and romantic relationships. Even at an early stage.

Speaker 2:17:21Also, this is an extremely confusing time for her. So you’re not dating right now. No. Uh, there will come a time in the not too distant future where this will become a reality. I will have to come to terms with it then I will have to deal with it then. But just a couple of things before that point that they make here is that it’s perfectly all right to say no to. What’s going to happen is when you become involved with someone else, there’s going to be some undertone, eventually have some type of physical intimacy and you should not feel pressured into that. Uh, when you are ready for it and you feel that you’re ready for it, that’s when it’s okay. You should not let someone else tell you when you’re ready for that. That’s to me is the most important thing. There will be a lot more on sex education as you go through high school and your health class and stuff. Yeah. And Mommy and daddy will talk to you more about this subject in the future as well. But it’s your body. It’s your choice. You get to make the decisions. That’s the important thing.

Speaker 3:18:34I definitely don’t want a boyfriend and I definitely don’t want to try and create a child. I mean, I would love to bring a new noodle, another life, another world, but just not if signing a time the way I want. There’s plenty of time for them. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:18:51So the next thing that we have is a friendship. Teenage makes every relationship seem complex. Even the beautiful bond of friendships often me meets shaky grounds. This is because as a teenager, your child is developing social skills. Your daughter might love her best friend one moment and pick an ugly fight the next. And you’ve had some fights with your friends. You don’t, you don’t have a lot of friends. But I think the friends that you have, you’ve had for some time now having you.

Speaker 3:19:23Well, yes.

Speaker 2:19:25How long have you had your longest friend?

Speaker 3:19:27Um, I’d say about five years.

Speaker 2:19:31Five years. That’s, you know, for, for being 12 years old. That’s almost half your lifetime. They’re almost so I think they’re the kind of bonds that that will last for a long time. You know, when I was your age, I had met my best friend when I was five years old and he and I remained friends all through high school and you know, we don’t see each other as much today as we used to. Uh, that’s largely because we don’t live near each other, but we’re still friends. Yeah. Peer pressure is our next topic to discuss per pressure forces, teenage girls to have us to behave a certain way that gives them a sense of belongingness. And this is where we’re, the tune of caution comes in. You know, we’ve already established that there is a desire to belong. You know, in teenagers, peer pressure affords that belongingness.

Speaker 2:20:25The problem with peer pressures by giving into peer pressure, you feel one with your peers and it even leads you to take up habits that otherwise aren’t supposed to, you aren’t supposed to or aren’t interested in. So the pressures of peer pressure are here, come with us, do what we do and you’ll fit in. But what we do isn’t necessarily the right thing. So it’s a cautionary tale of be careful how much you want to be a part of something because it could change. You could make you change. Have you ever experienced peer pressure with any groups in school?

Speaker 3:20:58Well, no. No one really bothers me and they certainly never said to do something that could potentially be dangerous for me to join their group. Even if they said that I would definitely not do it. I knew, I know that for a fact. I would say no immediately and walk away.

Speaker 2:21:16Okay, very good. So the next one, and the last one that we have on our discussion list here is education. This is a time when you’re a teenage girl, has to constantly prove her metal by scoring high, doing well on exams and on other educational fronts. This creates immense pressure on your young girl and leads to stress an undue pressure. You feel a lot of pressure for academic achievement?

Speaker 3:21:44No. No really? I mean, well, I do try to do my best. Twitch sometimes pushes me harder than I really need to go, but other than that, but it only happens a few times. Other than that, I’m pretty sure I don’t really face too much pressure with having to get straight A’s.

Speaker 2:22:04So, um, you recognize the success that you have with your straight A’s though. Yes, I recognize it. Now let me ask you this. Do you think that success comes easily for you or are you going out of your way and working extra hard in order to achieve that level of success?

Speaker 3:22:25Well, when I was younger, it wasn’t really that big of a problem. I think I was, um, at my normal speed and such. But like now I’ve been go, now that I’m going through a bunch of stress, I feel as though I’m pushing or harder than I have when I was younger, but it’s still not. Uh, but it’s still not a big problem for me other than like how I feel about it. Well, it’s not like a bad feeling. It’s just I feel as though I’m pushing a little harder than I have when I was younger.

Speaker 2:23:00Okay. That’s fair. And I think what you’ll find is as you get through your high school career and further along in education, it’s going to get progressively more difficult. And that’s, that’s intended. You know, you can’t keep running at the same speed and expect to get faster. So the whole idea is the ramp, the pressure up, ramp, the assignments up. You learn how to handle the assignments better, you learn more from it, and you eventually build on all those things that you learn by the time you get to college and you’re able to deal with college. So that was all that we had on our discussion from today.

Speaker 4:23:43Okay.

Speaker 2:23:44I turn the mic to you and uh, ask you if you have any final closing remarks for our audience.

Speaker 3:23:52All right? So if you’re a teenage girl like me having to go through stress and all the things that might even be worse. And if you just another boy who’s a teenager also going through this, then I would say to be proud of yourself. Find something positive and don’t let other people make you think a different way about yourself. The people who really care about you are the ones who actually support you through everything. And the people who don’t really care about you and don’t care what you do are basically the ones who want to make you do stuff they want to do that could potentially be dangerous. I want, I also want to say that if you feel like you’re pushing yourself too hard in school, then you should at least talk to someone and explain that you feel as though you’re working too hard. And if you ever feel as though you’re pressured to do something. Also, I’m trying to talk to someone and when you’re in front of that person, try to say no. If you think it’s something that you don’t want to do or something that might be pertinent, potentially dangerous, and I, and just enjoy being yourself and don’t think that anyone in your life matters. Like my dad always says these people who you have in school now, unless they’re your good friends, probably won’t matter in your life later on.

Speaker 2:25:26Very good. Thank you for your advice. Thank you for your time. Um, did we want to give any shout outs today?

Speaker 3:25:34Well, I do want to give a shout out to my friend Mariah, who she was the one friend who I’ve known for about five years now. She feel, I feel as low as she understands me. And if you have other people who understand you, try to talk with them more, I’m pretty sure they’ll be good help to you. If I ever had any problems I would definitely go to Mariah Coz she, I can trust her and she’s one of my good friends. Awesome. I also want to give a shout out to my both my parents who have helped me out whenever I needed them. And I also want to, um, I also want to know about my mom’s podcast called insights in the entertainment. You can find it on youtube and every other, um, media platform that you can find insights into. Teens, my podcast and our, and our whole podcast theme is nts and nothing’s. Please look us up on you tube. Um, and you can also go to our website with insights into things.com and Daddy, you can finish off with the other stuff. I don’t remember. I was, that was worthy of like an academy award speech there. Thank you. I think that’ll do it for the podcast this week. Thank you folks for joining us. And we’ll talk to you next week. Bye.

Speaker 1: (00:09)
Welcome to insights into teens, a podcast series, exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison, Waylon, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

Speaker 2: (00:32)
Welcome to insights into teens. This is episode nine school drama. I’m your host, Joseph Waylon and my cohost Madison Waylon. Hello everyone. How are you doing today? Madison doing pretty good. Anything exciting happen this week for you?

Speaker 3: (00:52)
Well, other than like stuff that normally happened at school for normal week.

Speaker 2: (00:57)
Well you did have a field trip this week. Didn’t? Yeah. Yeah. Where’d you go for that?

Speaker 3: (01:02)
I went to the Penn Museum.

Speaker 2: (01:05)
Interesting. Did you enjoy it?

Speaker 3: (01:07)
Well, I thought I was going to be all full. Wasn’t Miller that off also?

Speaker 2: (01:12)
Well that’s good. That’s a positive note I guess so. So today we are going to be talking about a high school drama. We will define what high school drama is loosely kind of, uh, it is a definition that comes from the urban dictionary, which is not necessarily, uh, you know, the, the biggest source of information out there. The most accurate. Yeah. But it’s the only one that I could really find for this, this type of thing. We’ll then talk about the 10 most common things that teenagers face primarily at school. I think you’ll find it. Many of these, uh, we’ve actually talked about already on the podcast. Yeah. Um, then we will discuss some typical types of drama. Okay. And, uh, for some of those we do have some, uh, some answers to solve some of that drama. Okay. And, uh, then we’ll finish off with your final thoughts on things. So let’s get right into it.

Speaker 4: (02:21)
Okay.

Speaker 2: (02:21)
So the urban dictionary defines high school drama as the drama between people at high school, which people seem to create around themselves just to have a bit of action in their lives. High school drama is a phrase used to ridicule the mindset in teens. So let me ask you a first off, do you experience high school drama in school?

Speaker 3: (02:46)
Well, it’s not really big drama if I ever have it. I mean, I do if I just, my friends occasionally, but it hasn’t happened for a while now. So yeah, nothing really goes on my friends anymore. We don’t have that kind of drama anymore. I’m doing classmates. There really is no drama other than, well I’m, I’m feel like I’m invisible.

Speaker 2: (03:10)
I could understand that. And that’s actually one of the things that you will find that we’re going to talk about shortly. That could be one of the factors of a school drama. Okay. So let’s talk briefly about the 10 most common issues that teenagers faced today. Now, the premise of this is that it all happens in high school, so they suffer from negative body image. Do you find that you or kids that you know suffer from negative body image?

Speaker 3: (03:43)
Well, I haven’t really seen anyone really act as though they care about. How about looking different? I mean, I know I’ve never really felt that way. I mean, I just know I’m just me and I really don’t want to change anything. I feel as though I’m okay just the way I am.

Speaker 2: (04:08)
And I think what you’ll find is as the kids get older and they start to advance more through puberty, that this is going to become more and more of an issue, especially as kids reached the dating age.

Speaker 3: (04:21)
Oh yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2: (04:24)
All of that stuff gets much more complicated at that point.

Speaker 3: (04:27)
Yeah, I can definitely see that.

Speaker 2: (04:29)
The other thing that they have on here, number two on the list is a longing to belong to supportive and accepting communities beyond their family. And we talked briefly about this the other day where kids want to be a part of, you know, what we used to call the in crowd, the popular kids or you know, the kids that uh, every, every group has their own click of kid. Do you find, you mentioned already that you feel left out. Do you see these groups existing, these, these in crowns that you want to be a part of?

Speaker 3: (05:04)
Well, I do see the groups, but I don’t really feel as though I want to be a part of them. But even though I do wish to be stolen, I liked them. And actually I have friends in my class. I really don’t get along with many other people in my class and I just go with the friends. They have an aftercare and my neighbors and stuff like that.

Speaker 2: (05:28)
We’re going to ask you real quick. You see you don’t get along with the kids in class. Is it that you don’t get along with them or they don’t get along with you?

Speaker 3: (05:35)
I guess both. A little bit of both. Yeah. I mean, you know, I’m independent. You know how I can be when I want to be independent.

Speaker 2: (05:44)
Yes, you can be very independent

Speaker 3: (05:46)
and honestly whenever we had to do group projects, I always hated it because I had to. I just, I don’t know, I just didn’t really want to work with them and I’m pretty sure they wanted to work with a friend, which is always, which is another reason why they probably never really picked me and I prefer to do it independently. And I think one of the reasons why I prefer to do it independently is because no one else would really want me in their group, which is why I just get used to doing things in dependently and I’m totally okay with it.

Speaker 2: (06:15)
And I think you’re going to see that change as you get to the higher grades too. So the next thing on the top 10 list here was the experience, stress and difficulty prioritizing and managing their time. Now I know you’ve had some issues with time management when it comes to projects and stuff like that. Is that generally a point of stress for you?

Speaker 3: (06:38)
Sometimes. Yeah, because I would want to worry about the project more than I wanted to worry about the rest of what I was doing. So,

Speaker 2: (06:47)
okay. So the next thing they have is they feel lots of pressure from peers, parents and society to conform to conflicting expectations. You feel any of that? I feel

Speaker 3: (07:00)
so the teachers are going to try and pressure us and especially when again, the middle school and they have very high expectations and I thought like the expectations for sixth grade where were high. I just can’t imagine the middle school.

Speaker 2: (07:16)
And it’s funny you mentioned that because from the stories you’re telling me, it does sound like the teachers seem to be applying more pressure and to a certain extent that’s their job, but it needs to be pressure with an end goal. It’s, it’s pressure to prepare you for what you’re going to run into and sometimes it almost seems like it’s pressure pressure just to scare you, which I don’t see where the constructive part of that is. They are at risk of mental and physical health issues now for mental issues here. I’m assuming they’re talking about things like depression and stuff like that, which we’ve talked about. I mean you, I think we, we’ve been able to safely conclude that you’re not suffering from depression at this point in time. You’re suffering from stress and fatigue, which unfortunately is very common in teenagers unfortunately. Uh, the next one is a lack of good mentors, role models and heroes. Now, total disclosure here, we’ve tried on two separate occasions to do a podcast on a role models and we haven’t been able to get it off the ground. And it’s mainly because there hasn’t been really a role model deficiency for you. But when it comes to mentors and heroes, do you have a mentor that you look up to?

Speaker 3: (08:36)
Well, I look up to my past teachers and um, my current teachers, I look up to both you and mommy. I mean, who wouldn’t, what teen wouldn’t really look up to their parents unless while their parents meet bad decisions.

Speaker 2: (08:51)
Yeah, I guess older people. I know. Okay. That’s, I think that’s certainly fair. Or they’re attempting to begin unhealthy patterns with drugs and alcohol. Uh, has there been any temptation for any of that stuff for you in school?

Speaker 3: (09:07)
No, actually I tried to avoid it.

Speaker 2: (09:09)
Good for you. I know you get very upset if mommy has a glass of wine. You think she’s, you know, got me get drunk drunk. Yeah. Yeah. So,

Speaker 3: (09:18)
yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m staying away from all that stuff.

Speaker 2: (09:22)
And you know, alcohol when you were an adult in moderation is perfectly fine. But you know, anything in moderation generally is fine. Not Drugs though. I mean, if it’s an illegal drug, it’s an illegal drug. Exposure to on screen violence, an unhealthy social media. What do you think about that?

Speaker 3: (09:39)
Like when someone gives out a mean comment and you’re basically bullied online a bunch of times and yet you haven’t really thought of doing anything about it.

Speaker 2: (09:51)
Yeah, I mean, social media itself, I mean, to me social media is assessable. It’s, it’s nothing but people trying to attack other people and an insult, other people and stuff. So I try to avoid it like the plague myself. But I was working cern with on screen violence, whether it’s TV, movies, video games, that, that type of thing. What kind of exposure do you have to that?

Speaker 3: (10:14)
The only violent video game I played was call of duty. That’s pretty violent. Yeah. But I don’t really play it that often anymore. I haven’t really played in a awhile. I mainly stick to mine craft and I’m watching like youtube videos. Okay. Alright. [inaudible] caps and cartoons.

Speaker 2: (10:33)
That’s pretty tame. Uh, the next two things here, the first one they have is bullying, which we’ve talked about already in a previous podcast. Yeah. Yeah. And the other is they may participate in risky sexual activity and behavior. Have you had any kind of exposure to anyone trying to make any kind of advances like that towards you?

Speaker 3: (10:56)
Honestly, no. Um, I’m pretty sure that no one actually really wants to do that with me, which is why I prefer to live my life on my own and I’m fine with just being single.

Speaker 2: (11:08)
Okay. Um, has your father, I am perfectly fine with that myself too. You have plenty of time for that in your life later on. Yeah. You don’t need to be introducing that stuff at this point in time. So that’s our top 10 and those top 10 lead us to types of social drama. So that will be our next subject that we talk about. So the first type of social drama that we’re going to talk about is social anxiety. That’s defined as a social anxiety is the fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people leading the feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, selfconsciousness, embarrassment, humiliation and depression. So a couple of the symptoms are a couple of the causes of social anxiety is the fear of being judged. Do you are, do you feel judged? Let me ask you that. First of all, yes. And under what circumstances?

Speaker 3: (12:10)
Mainly whenever there’s a sport that we do. Okay. Just recently I had Jim yesterday and I kept trying to throw the ball towards the PR person on my team. They catch it. But every time I did I mess and the other team always got the ball. So that Kinda made me feel a bit sad because I thought people were judging me on how, why I don’t really have that good of a throw. And I’m not really that athletic

Speaker 2: (12:42)
now are they, were they making fun of your openly or criticizing, you know, we just felt self conscious as a result. Yeah, understood. Uh, the other is a fear of looking stupid. Now they don’t really give details on this, but I know I look stupid if I’m in a group of people and I try to make a joke and the joke falls flat and nobody laughs at it, I tend to feel stupid. Or if I don’t know the answer to something that I should know the answer to. Do you have situations where you experienced this?

Speaker 3: (13:13)
Well, whenever we have to do our spelling free test, I always like get most of them wrong. Even though I just saw the words. And sometimes I’m like, are these words even real words? I don’t, I’ve never heard this word before. What does this help me, help me help me. And the worst part is that people actually great that another person actually grades, um, how you spelled it. And every time I get a lot wrong, I just feel like I’m stupid.

Speaker 2: (13:41)
Oh, see now that’s, that’s terrible. When you’ve got one of your classmates that are great, are you in a situation like that?

Speaker 3: (13:47)
I also feel stupid whenever we have to grade each other’s mass math quizzes or tests because we also do that which I hate.

Speaker 2: (13:55)
Well, and the thing is sometimes just that fear of somebody else grading you can cause anxiety and and influence how you answer those questions because you’re under pressure. That’s a bad thing. You’re going to see that drop off the further you get into school too. I can promise you that much. So the next thing that we have here is drama with peers. Teens tend to have mood swings as we already know. Yup. And hormonal fluctuations, which we already know. Yes. In addition to these obstacles, teens are also finding out who they are and searching for their place in the world. All of these factors together can lead to fall out with friends, romantic breakups and other types of pure related dramas. So we know that you have mood swings. Yes. How? How much of a negative impact has those mood swings had on your relationships with your friends?

Speaker 3: (14:58)
It’s usually happened in the morning whenever I had fights and I would just get angry at my friends getting grid them for something stupid. They’d be angry at me. We stopped talking for the rest of the day, but then like by the end of the day we’d make up.

Speaker 2: (15:13)
It’s all right. So it seems like it hasn’t been a huge problem, but being aware of the fact that it happens, I think is the important thing.

Speaker 3: (15:22)
Yeah, and there was only one time where I think it lasted a week. It didn’t last very long, but we made up after or,

Speaker 2: (15:30)
okay, so the next thing we have is appearance says this probably features as the number one problem on every teenage girls problem list. Although it doesn’t sound like it’s particularly high in your list. This is the time when her body is constantly changing and she has to cope with it. Obviously you’re going through those changes that teenagers go through now. Do you find that you’re in accounting difficulty at school as a result of those changes?

Speaker 3: (16:00)
Because of how I look,

Speaker 2: (16:02)
how you look, how your body functions, how puberty is affecting your body.

Speaker 3: (16:07)
Well, there’s no real problem with my body other than the fact that whenever I have my period, I always have to go to the bathroom and I sometimes miss a few things, but I always catch up with it.

Speaker 2: (16:24)
So that’s not causing any kind of impact of school or anything. Oh, not really. Well, that’s good. You’re very lucky. The next one that we have is one that is particularly sensitive to your father and that his dating. Yeah. Now you’re not dating yet, are you? No, of course not. Teenage already comes with a lot of problems and challenges. The sudden increased flow of sex hormones inside of the body makes it even worse. You might find your girl failing for falling for her first crush and vulnerable to romantic liaisons. A lot of teenage girls experience healthy crushes an early age love to however, peer pressure changing times and the advancement of media has sort of associate at sex to such teenage romantic relationships. This makes your teenage girl feel that sex is, but natural is both natural and romantic relationships. Even at an early stage.

Speaker 2: (17:20)
Also, this is an extremely confusing time for her. So you’re not dating right now. No. Uh, there will come a time in the not too distant future where this will become a reality. I will have to come to terms with it then I will have to deal with it then. But just a couple of things before that point that they make here is that it’s perfectly all right to say no to. What’s going to happen is when you become involved with someone else, there’s going to be some undertone, eventually have some type of physical intimacy and you should not feel pressured into that. Uh, when you are ready for it and you feel that you’re ready for it, that’s when it’s okay. You should not let someone else tell you when you’re ready for that. That’s to me is the most important thing. There will be a lot more on sex education as you go through high school and your health class and stuff. Yeah. And Mommy and daddy will talk to you more about this subject in the future as well. But it’s your body. It’s your choice. You get to make the decisions. That’s the important thing.

Speaker 3: (18:34)
I definitely don’t want a boyfriend and I definitely don’t want to try and create a child. I mean, I would love to bring a new noodle, another life, another world, but just not if signing a time the way I want. There’s plenty of time for them. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2: (18:51)
So the next thing that we have is a friendship. Teenage makes every relationship seem complex. Even the beautiful bond of friendships often me meets shaky grounds. This is because as a teenager, your child is developing social skills. Your daughter might love her best friend one moment and pick an ugly fight the next. And you’ve had some fights with your friends. You don’t, you don’t have a lot of friends. But I think the friends that you have, you’ve had for some time now having you.

Speaker 3: (19:22)
Well, yes.

Speaker 2: (19:24)
How long have you had your longest friend?

Speaker 3: (19:26)
Um, I’d say about five years.

Speaker 2: (19:31)
Five years. That’s, you know, for, for being 12 years old. That’s almost half your lifetime. They’re almost so I think they’re the kind of bonds that that will last for a long time. You know, when I was your age, I had met my best friend when I was five years old and he and I remained friends all through high school and you know, we don’t see each other as much today as we used to. Uh, that’s largely because we don’t live near each other, but we’re still friends. Yeah. Peer pressure is our next topic to discuss per pressure forces, teenage girls to have us to behave a certain way that gives them a sense of belongingness. And this is where we’re, the tune of caution comes in. You know, we’ve already established that there is a desire to belong. You know, in teenagers, peer pressure affords that belongingness.

Speaker 2: (20:25)
The problem with peer pressures by giving into peer pressure, you feel one with your peers and it even leads you to take up habits that otherwise aren’t supposed to, you aren’t supposed to or aren’t interested in. So the pressures of peer pressure are here, come with us, do what we do and you’ll fit in. But what we do isn’t necessarily the right thing. So it’s a cautionary tale of be careful how much you want to be a part of something because it could change. You could make you change. Have you ever experienced peer pressure with any groups in school?

Speaker 3: (20:57)
Well, no. No one really bothers me and they certainly never said to do something that could potentially be dangerous for me to join their group. Even if they said that I would definitely not do it. I knew, I know that for a fact. I would say no immediately and walk away.

Speaker 2: (21:15)
Okay, very good. So the next one, and the last one that we have on our discussion list here is education. This is a time when you’re a teenage girl, has to constantly prove her metal by scoring high, doing well on exams and on other educational fronts. This creates immense pressure on your young girl and leads to stress an undue pressure. You feel a lot of pressure for academic achievement?

Speaker 3: (21:44)
No. No really? I mean, well, I do try to do my best. Twitch sometimes pushes me harder than I really need to go, but other than that, but it only happens a few times. Other than that, I’m pretty sure I don’t really face too much pressure with having to get straight A’s.

Speaker 2: (22:04)
So, um, you recognize the success that you have with your straight A’s though. Yes, I recognize it. Now let me ask you this. Do you think that success comes easily for you or are you going out of your way and working extra hard in order to achieve that level of success?

Speaker 3: (22:25)
Well, when I was younger, it wasn’t really that big of a problem. I think I was, um, at my normal speed and such. But like now I’ve been go, now that I’m going through a bunch of stress, I feel as though I’m pushing or harder than I have when I was younger, but it’s still not. Uh, but it’s still not a big problem for me other than like how I feel about it. Well, it’s not like a bad feeling. It’s just I feel as though I’m pushing a little harder than I have when I was younger.

Speaker 2: (22:59)
Okay. That’s fair. And I think what you’ll find is as you get through your high school career and further along in education, it’s going to get progressively more difficult. And that’s, that’s intended. You know, you can’t keep running at the same speed and expect to get faster. So the whole idea is the ramp, the pressure up, ramp, the assignments up. You learn how to handle the assignments better, you learn more from it, and you eventually build on all those things that you learn by the time you get to college and you’re able to deal with college. So that was all that we had on our discussion from today.

Speaker 4: (23:43)
Okay.

Speaker 2: (23:44)
I turn the mic to you and uh, ask you if you have any final closing remarks for our audience.

Speaker 3: (23:52)
All right? So if you’re a teenage girl like me having to go through stress and all the things that might even be worse. And if you just another boy who’s a teenager also going through this, then I would say to be proud of yourself. Find something positive and don’t let other people make you think a different way about yourself. The people who really care about you are the ones who actually support you through everything. And the people who don’t really care about you and don’t care what you do are basically the ones who want to make you do stuff they want to do that could potentially be dangerous. I want, I also want to say that if you feel like you’re pushing yourself too hard in school, then you should at least talk to someone and explain that you feel as though you’re working too hard. And if you ever feel as though you’re pressured to do something. Also, I’m trying to talk to someone and when you’re in front of that person, try to say no. If you think it’s something that you don’t want to do or something that might be pertinent, potentially dangerous, and I, and just enjoy being yourself and don’t think that anyone in your life matters. Like my dad always says these people who you have in school now, unless they’re your good friends, probably won’t matter in your life later on.

Speaker 2: (25:25)
Very good. Thank you for your advice. Thank you for your time. Um, did we want to give any shout outs today?

Speaker 3: (25:34)
Well, I do want to give a shout out to my friend Mariah, who she was the one friend who I’ve known for about five years now. She feel, I feel as low as she understands me. And if you have other people who understand you, try to talk with them more, I’m pretty sure they’ll be good help to you. If I ever had any problems I would definitely go to Mariah Coz she, I can trust her and she’s one of my good friends. Awesome. I also want to give a shout out to my both my parents who have helped me out whenever I needed them. And I also want to, um, I also want to know about my mom’s podcast called insights in the entertainment. You can find it on youtube and every other, um, media platform that you can find insights into. Teens, my podcast and our, and our whole podcast theme is nts and nothing’s. Please look us up on you tube. Um, and you can also go to our website with insights into things.com and Daddy, you can finish off with the other stuff. I don’t remember. I was, that was worthy of like an academy award speech there. Thank you. I think that’ll do it for the podcast this week. Thank you folks for joining us. And we’ll talk to you next week. Bye.

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