Insights Into Teens: Episode 170 ”Perspectives on Parenting: Nurturing”

[INTRO THEME]
[INTRODUCTIONS]
Insights Into Teens: Episode 170 “Perspectives on Parenting: Nurturing”
My co-host Joseph Whalen
And our special guest today, host of our Insights Into Entertainment Podcast and resident Disney expert Michelle Whalen

Summary
We mostly address issues teens deal with on this podcast. But there are challenges to parenting that are worth taking a look at as well. Our Perspectives On Parenting topics are aimed at looking at these issues to help teens understand some of the difficulties parents face to hopefully put things on a more even playing field. Today’s Perspective on Parenting will look at some of the top challenges of parenting today

[SHOW PLUGS]

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[TRANSITION]

[SEGMENT 1]

Nurturing

Showing That You Love Them

How much or often do you feel you express how much you care about me?

What ways do you feel that you express your love for me?

Would any factor about me that came up, such as my gender or sexuality, cause you to love me any less?

Are there times that you have to limit my actions just because you want to protect me?

Has there been any rifts in our relationship due to anything you might have done that you believed was in my best interest but I didn’t agree with?

Do you think one of the many jobs of a parent must be to love and care for their kid or is it something that’s more optional?

Is there anything I can do that would make you stop loving me?

Should all parents on some level have love for their child no matter what?

[AD1: SSE]

[SEGMENT 2]

Spending Quality Family Time

What would you consider to be quality family time?

Do you think the idea of spending time as a family can differ from different households?

What do you consider to be our quality family time?

Should every family try to strive to have some sort of quality spending time together?

Is quality family time for everyone?

Should parents see quality time with their child as a suggestion or a requirement?

How do you think our family dynamic would be different if we didn’t spend time together?

Do you enjoy that we all have time to spend with each other?

[AD2: ENTERTAINMENT]

[SEGMENT 3]

Being a Role Model

Do you believe that parents can act as important role models in their kids’ lives?

Could a parent be both a good or bad role model to their kid?

How do you believe a good role model a parent presents could affect the child?

How do you believe a bad role model a parent presents could affect the child?

Are all parents destined to be role models to their kids?

Is it ok to rely on other sources of role models for your kids?

How much do you think the actions of a parent affects the development of the kids?

How do you feel about the possible role modeling you’ve given me over the years?

[TRANSITION]

[CLOSE]

Closing thoughts shoutouts

[OUTRO AND CREDITS]

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00:00:01:25 – 00:00:15:03
Michelle
Insightful podcasts by informative host.

00:00:15:06 – 00:00:51:17
Michelle
Insights into things to a podcast network. Welcome to Insights into Teens, a podcast series exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison Whalen, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

00:00:51:19 – 00:01:08:17
Madison
Welcome to Insights into Teens. This is Episode 17d Perspectives on Parenting Top Challenges. Yeah, pretty much. I guess I don’t support challenges. That’s what it’s called now.

00:01:08:17 – 00:01:16:13
Joseph
It’s nurturing, I think. I think we didn’t get the right notes there.

00:01:16:15 – 00:01:22:28
Madison
I’m your host, Madison, where Ellen clearly not very good at it. And my co-host, Joseph Whelan.

00:01:23:01 – 00:01:27:00
Joseph
Hi. How are you doing?

00:01:27:02 – 00:01:28:03
Madison
How are you doing?

00:01:28:04 – 00:01:30:12
Joseph
I’m doing great.

00:01:30:15 – 00:01:36:29
Madison
And if I get as much and as hopefully with, ah, you know.

00:01:36:29 – 00:01:37:29
Joseph
More.

00:01:38:02 – 00:01:43:18
Madison
Penultimate. Not really. Penultimate. Really. What do you call these are tens or tens.

00:01:43:18 – 00:01:44:14
Joseph
Yes.

00:01:44:16 – 00:01:58:20
Madison
As with our tens, for now, we have a special guest. My mother and co-host of that Kind of Dead podcast, Guest Insights and Entertainment. Michelle Whelan Oh.

00:01:58:22 – 00:02:00:18
Michelle
That was that was an intro.

00:02:00:22 – 00:02:03:14
Joseph
What is your marketing department again for you?

00:02:03:17 – 00:02:11:00
Madison
I’m hey, it makes it more fun. You know, I’m not I’m not great at this, but it makes it so that everybody laughs along.

00:02:11:02 – 00:02:11:26
Michelle
There you go.

00:02:11:26 – 00:02:15:24
Joseph
That’s all that matters. Sure, we all have fun in the process, right?

00:02:15:27 – 00:02:34:27
Madison
All right. So this is one of our perspectives on parenting episodes that we’re trying to do every ten episodes. We have just concluded our emotional intelligence series on this is kind of the transition. And then the next period.

00:02:35:03 – 00:02:36:06
Joseph
Right.

00:02:36:09 – 00:03:04:13
Madison
And last time we actually only got through one of the planned segments. We had four questions. So we’re going to be spending this episode going over the second segment of questions, that being that of nurturing on pretty much is just going to be a Q&A between me and my parents. And it’s kind of get more the parenting perspective about how challenging it is to be a parent.

00:03:04:15 – 00:03:07:23
Madison
Without further ado, I think we can get started. How about you?

00:03:07:29 – 00:03:12:13
Joseph
Sure. All right. I guess I should do a transition now.

00:03:12:16 – 00:03:13:05
Madison
Probably.

00:03:13:12 – 00:03:24:01
Joseph
Okay. We’ll just we’ll skip all the credits and everything. Okay. Let’s go.

00:03:24:03 – 00:03:33:04
Madison
All right, So our starting questions relate to showing kids that you love them because that’s a part of nurturing your kids as.

00:03:33:04 – 00:03:34:24
Joseph
We’re legally required to love you.

00:03:34:26 – 00:03:44:03
Michelle
No, we’re not. I don’t think that’s actually part of it. We just happened to do it. So, yeah.

00:03:44:05 – 00:04:01:22
Madison
You know. So the first question we have, which I guess can go out to either of you because I haven’t, you know, pre said like oh which one’s going to which. So anyone can answer this. Really. How much or often do you feel you express how much you care about me.

00:04:01:24 – 00:04:10:12
Michelle
I would say probably daily, hourly, you know, depends on the, the mood.

00:04:10:15 – 00:04:11:20
Madison
Fair enough.

00:04:11:22 – 00:04:41:15
Michelle
If you’re you’re being a pain. Now, even even, you know, Daddy and I are very fortunate with you. You really are, you know, not to to shoot your own horn, but you’re a very exceptional kid. And, you know, so it’s very easy to to love you even when, you know, we’re upset with you. We still love you.

00:04:41:17 – 00:04:43:16
Madison
That’s nice. It’s nice to know.

00:04:43:18 – 00:05:06:17
Joseph
And to Mommy’s point, you know, I think one of the things that you discover is that each of us shows. We express it differently. Right. Mommy expresses it every day by making sure you get to the school bus and by making sure that there’s food on the table and by making sure that your lunch is packed and all that stuff.

00:05:06:19 – 00:05:14:18
Joseph
Mommy does it numerous times throughout the day. Not so much with me, but, you know, I think.

00:05:14:19 – 00:05:16:01
Madison
You’re lucky to you.

00:05:16:01 – 00:05:18:17
Joseph
Know, I mean, I don’t I’m not the one I.

00:05:18:17 – 00:05:19:03
Michelle
Know.

00:05:19:03 – 00:05:33:13
Joseph
Of. You know, I don’t express it as often as you do like that. But generally when I do it, it’s it’s not the accumulation of little things. It’s the more deliberate things.

00:05:33:16 – 00:05:35:03
Michelle
Quality, not the quantity.

00:05:35:09 – 00:05:37:11
Joseph
Exactly. Exactly.

00:05:37:14 – 00:05:50:24
Madison
That makes sense. All right. The next question we have here is what ways do you feel that you express your love? For me, which, you know, I guess kind of follows the previous question. How about you go first?

00:05:50:26 – 00:06:19:09
Joseph
You being me? Yes. Okay, I’ll go first. Well, I think I do it by spending the time that we spend together. We spend a lot of quality time together, especially when it’s study time or homework time or project time for school. I enjoy doing stuff like that with you or playing rock band or, you know, it’s to me, it’s I’m more into the experience and spending time and dedicating that to you.

00:06:19:12 – 00:06:33:18
Joseph
But I also like buying you presents and stuff and little things. Like we have our team days and stuff, you know, and it’s like whenever I put an order in, I make sure I get something for you because I know it lifts your spirits and it’s something that makes you smile.

00:06:33:20 – 00:06:45:18
Madison
That makes sense. So besides, you know, basically taking care of my every whim in the morning and during the entire day. How else do you think you express your love, Mommy?

00:06:45:20 – 00:07:08:14
Michelle
Well, I think, you know, spending time with you, we haven’t done it in a while, but we used to have TV time every night where we would just sit and watch, you know, television together. You know, we go and get our nails done together. We’ll, you know, take trips to to five below, usually on a day off from school.

00:07:08:14 – 00:07:23:21
Michelle
I try and, you know, take a day off or take time off from school, from from work, you know, to be able to spend the day with you and, you know, do Dave and busters or go to the mall or or something, you know, where we have that fun time.

00:07:23:21 – 00:07:24:05
Joseph
Especially when.

00:07:24:05 – 00:07:28:22
Michelle
I get together, right, Because we do it intentionally to make sure that, you know, daddy’s left out.

00:07:28:27 – 00:07:36:18
Joseph
I think I think in general, I think we’re very fortunate that you enjoy spending time with us. Like that’s a bonus.

00:07:36:20 – 00:07:37:03
Michelle
Right?

00:07:37:07 – 00:07:49:19
Joseph
And and I don’t know how long that’s going to be like, that’s all I think Mommy and I here wise enough to take advantage of that when we can so that we can enjoy that time now. Yeah.

00:07:49:22 – 00:08:04:20
Madison
All right. So this is going to get a little dark, so prepare for this, I guess. Would any factor about me that came up So just my gender, sexuality caused you to love me any less.

00:08:04:23 – 00:08:05:28
Joseph
And it was not.

00:08:06:00 – 00:08:06:23
Madison
Either of you.

00:08:06:23 – 00:08:08:01
Michelle
Honestly. I’ll go.

00:08:08:01 – 00:08:08:20
Madison
First.

00:08:08:22 – 00:08:10:14
Joseph
Okay.

00:08:10:16 – 00:08:13:19
Michelle
It had no bearing whatsoever.

00:08:13:22 – 00:08:16:12
Joseph
Like ever.

00:08:16:15 – 00:09:04:12
Michelle
I. I knew from the moment I wanted to be a mom that no matter what the gender was, I would love the child no matter what. You know, as long as the child didn’t grow up to be a sociopath, you know, I would always, you know, love that child no matter what, unconditionally. And I think with the changes you’ve gone through with different things throughout, you know, your your lifetime so far, there has never been a moment that I haven’t been supportive of you.

00:09:04:15 – 00:09:40:08
Michelle
And that’s one of those things that I can’t wrap my head around. For parents that would disown their child because of their, you know, sexual quality or their gender identity or anything like that, where parents just, you know, or even religion, you know, where we’re kids decide that they want to practice a different religion. And, you know, they they just totally become disowned.

00:09:40:15 – 00:10:06:17
Michelle
And I just as as a parent, I don’t understand how you can just turn that off, You know? You know, if it’s something where you committed a crime, you committed murder or you you know, you did something heinous that I could totally understand as a parent walking away from. But something because you choose who you are, why wouldn’t I love you?

00:10:06:19 – 00:10:08:14
Madison
Yeah, I think that’s a very good answer.

00:10:08:16 – 00:10:09:13
Michelle
Thank you.

00:10:09:16 – 00:10:49:12
Joseph
Daddy. And I would agree. And there was never a point in time with any of those circumstances that would have caused me not to love you. I think if anything, it’s caused anxiety on my part because sometimes it’s things that I don’t understand and I try to understand it, or it’s things that are so profoundly outside my control that my natural instinct to try to protect you is compromised at times.

00:10:49:15 – 00:11:07:12
Joseph
So if there’s any issues that I have, it’s more issues with me in my own ability to cope with things than it is with you on any level. All right. For the record, I’d help you bury the body, just so you know.

00:11:07:15 – 00:11:24:23
Madison
All right. Good answers from on both parts. I appreciate both. You know, for different reasons. Next question we have is, are there times that you have to limit my actions just because you wanted to protect me? I guess we can go.

00:11:24:25 – 00:11:56:26
Joseph
I sorry. I ask for that. Yes, all the time. And. And I do it. And I’ll be the first one to admit that I do it. Discriminating and probably unfairly. For the longest time when you were growing up, I had the biggest fear of how boys were going to react to you. You know, I knew I know boys, and I know what they’re capable of.

00:11:56:26 – 00:12:25:01
Joseph
I know how they think. And it terrifies me to have boys around for my little girl. So, yeah, I probably said things I probably did things that were in the spirit of protecting you that were probably overbearing. And I’ll admit to that. And I’m not I’m not apologizing for that. My job is to protect you and I protect you the best way that I know how.

00:12:25:04 – 00:12:28:22
Madison
That’s fair. Laurie, how about you?

00:12:28:24 – 00:12:54:17
Michelle
Well, I think and we had had this conversation not that long ago where, you know, I had said I, I didn’t feel that I was a helicopter parent, but I felt I had to be a helicopter parent because of Daddy, because of the way daddy felt about certain things and where I felt okay about certain situations. Daddy didn’t.

00:12:54:18 – 00:13:36:02
Michelle
So to make him happy, I became the partial helicopter parent to watch over and make sure things were fine. Where I think if I hadn’t done that, things still would have been fine. I don’t think you were ever in any situation that could have or would have gone, you know, in a in a bad situation. But because of the way Daddy being much more overbearing in certain respects, I had to, you know, he he wanted to be the overbearing one, but I had to be the one to do the action.

00:13:36:04 – 00:13:40:15
Michelle
He was management went down.

00:13:40:15 – 00:13:41:07
Madison
Blame my dad.

00:13:41:12 – 00:13:45:01
Joseph
Yeah, that’s usually a good tactic. Yeah.

00:13:45:05 – 00:13:56:24
Madison
All right, next up, we have. Have there been any rifts in our relationship due to anything you might have done that you believed was in my best interest, but I didn’t agree with.

00:13:56:26 – 00:14:36:21
Joseph
I’ll take that one first. All right. The only thing that immediately pops to mind is how I reacted when you revealed that you were a romantic. I so I think my reaction was probably probably misinterpreted, but it was probably not presented in a way that was acceptable. And and I think that at least it felt to me as though it kind of drove a wedge between us for a little while.

00:14:36:23 – 00:15:00:24
Joseph
And my point was, you know, you’re you’re young. I understand you feel this way, but, you know, let’s not close ourselves off to other opportunities. And you interpreted that as, you know, I wasn’t respecting how you felt. And I totally understood where you were coming from with that. But that was not the intention. That was not the message that I was trying to get across then.

00:15:00:26 – 00:15:07:21
Joseph
And I didn’t presented in an acceptable manner.

00:15:07:24 – 00:15:09:11
Madison
Okay. Going a bit dark there.

00:15:09:17 – 00:15:10:29
Joseph
Mm hmm. And you asked.

00:15:11:06 – 00:15:16:23
Madison
I guess so Mommy and thing with you?

00:15:16:25 – 00:15:17:24
Michelle
I don’t.

00:15:17:24 – 00:15:18:13
Joseph
Think.

00:15:18:13 – 00:15:43:13
Michelle
So. Like, because I think I’ve been the voice of reason when certain situations like that, you know, have have come into play, you know what? You’ve been grounded twice in your life. And that was, you know, you were in the nursery school at the time. Like, I can’t even remember the last time you were punished for something, you know.

00:15:43:19 – 00:15:46:01
Joseph
And I didn’t have to help bury the body that time.

00:15:46:02 – 00:16:13:18
Michelle
Right. Right. You know, you had a couple of timeouts and, you know, other than that, it might be something. Hey, did you finish the laundry? Oh, wait a second. You were supposed to work on laundry yesterday and or the day before. You know, stuff like that. So it’s, you know, for the most part, I really can’t, you know, say that, you know.

00:16:13:21 – 00:16:41:04
Michelle
Oh, yeah. Here, you know, it’s. It’s those small things. It’s, you know, the things that, you know. All right, so laundry didn’t get folded. All right, whatever. We’ll turn the dryer on again and we’ll fluff everything up and we’ll fold it tomorrow, you know? So I think that’s where, you know, fortunately, you know, when it comes to school, when it comes to your grades, obviously never an issue on our part.

00:16:41:04 – 00:16:57:07
Michelle
You’re you’re you know, you’re you’re harder on yourself than daddy or I ever have to be. So that’s never, you know, something. So if it’s you know, you didn’t do a chore, okay? You didn’t do it today, you’ll do it tomorrow. Okay, that’s fine.

00:16:57:09 – 00:17:10:06
Madison
All right. Good answers. Next up, we have. Do you think one of the many jobs of a parent must be to love and care for the kid? Or is it something that’s more optional?

00:17:10:08 – 00:17:34:02
Joseph
Clearly, I thought it was a good idea, but, I mean, I think it’s I think if you’re a decent human being, you do. I don’t think it’s an optional thing. And I don’t I don’t think it’s really a job. It’s do you love your kids? If you don’t, why do you have kids? You know, to me, it’s just it’s a natural thing to me.

00:17:34:04 – 00:17:36:26
Joseph
Hmm. And that’s really the only way I can explain.

00:17:36:28 – 00:17:38:00
Madison
It makes sense.

00:17:38:02 – 00:18:26:23
Michelle
Well, and I think it’s much I’m trying to think of the the wording, but it’s kind of. Yeah, like it’s a duh. Why would you have kids? But unfortunately, there are people that do have kids for the wrong reasons. And unfortunately, you know, parents sometimes just don’t have that paternal instinct or that paternal desire. And you know, you’ll you’ll see where, you know, people have have kids and then hand the kids off to the grandparents or some other family relative to to raise just because they have no connection to that child.

00:18:26:25 – 00:18:58:11
Michelle
So it’s it seems kind of, again, like a duh, why why wouldn’t you love your child? But there are people out there that have kids that have no connection to them just because, you know, of of past trauma with them or they’re just not that parenting type. So it’s it’s not as obvious, I think, as, you know, some people think it is.

00:18:58:14 – 00:18:59:19
Joseph
All right.

00:18:59:21 – 00:19:09:04
Madison
I agree. Next question we have is, is there anything that I could do that would make you stop loving me? Very simple question.

00:19:09:06 – 00:19:11:17
Joseph
Is it really? Because it’s a pretty profound question.

00:19:11:21 – 00:19:15:13
Madison
I mean, I guess, but like, there might be a simple answer. I don’t know.

00:19:15:15 – 00:19:34:28
Joseph
I it’s one of those things where I know right now I couldn’t think of a single thing that you could do that would make me stop loving you 20 years from now. I don’t know. Maybe I could. It’s subjective for me at least. How about, you.

00:19:35:04 – 00:19:52:13
Michelle
Know, probably, you know, the same. You know, Unless you did something to talk caused great harm or, you know, I don’t know. You know, you get the nuclear codes and you, you know, blow up a couple of countries.

00:19:52:15 – 00:20:00:12
Joseph
You know, cross that one off the check.

00:20:00:15 – 00:20:06:27
Madison
All right. The last one we have for this segment is should all parents, on some level have love for their child no matter what?

00:20:07:01 – 00:20:10:00
Joseph
But you’re really pushing this whole love thing that you’re not feeling?

00:20:10:02 – 00:20:12:22
Madison
No, I’m just asking your opinion.

00:20:12:23 – 00:20:14:07
Michelle
You need a hold.

00:20:14:10 – 00:20:41:03
Joseph
I think I think we covered this with the previous question. But yeah, I think all parents should have love for their child. You know, whether there’s a disconnect or not. I can certainly see situations where that happens, but I don’t know. I it’s not like it’s You’re not pet, right? It’s not a love that’s developed to me. It’s it’s a genetic type thing.

00:20:41:03 – 00:21:11:14
Joseph
Like, like the love that I have for my kids is unlike the love that I have for anything else in the world. And I can’t fathom not loving my kids, you know, Same. And I had gone through some some rough patches a few years back, but I didn’t stop loving him through that. And I just I have a very difficult time wrapping my head around the concept of not loving your kids.

00:21:11:16 – 00:21:18:24
Joseph
Like it’s just to me, it’s it’s always been there. So.

00:21:18:27 – 00:21:29:04
Madison
All right. So that was the end of our first segment. We’ll take a quick break. And when we come back, we’ll talk about spending quality family time together and quality time.

00:21:29:06 – 00:22:09:19
Joseph
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00:22:09:21 – 00:22:40:14
Joseph
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00:22:40:16 – 00:23:01:15
Madison
Welcome back to insights in a teens today we are on our second perspectives on parenting episode. And right now we’re going to be talking about spending quality family time together. So first question in this segment is what would you consider to be quality family time.

00:23:01:17 – 00:23:26:13
Joseph
And make quality family time is any time I get to spend with my family and it doesn’t have to be game night or vacations or anything like that. I mean, we’ve done 16 hour rides to Disney and back in, and I consider that quality time. You know, whenever we’re interacting with each other, I think it’s quality time because you’re building that relationship, you’re enjoying the time together.

00:23:26:13 – 00:23:32:08
Joseph
And that’s probably the most important thing to me at least.

00:23:32:10 – 00:23:42:00
Madison
All right. Next question we have is do you think the idea of spending time as a family can differ from different households?

00:23:42:02 – 00:24:14:22
Michelle
Oh, absolutely. Because there are, you know, families that, you know, they get together for sporting events or their kids are in on teams or different, you know, extracurricular activities. And, you know, that’s where they spend their time together. You know, like when you were doing marching band, I was active, you know, with the band parent association so that I could, you know, find out when things were going on and be there to to support and help out and do things like that.

00:24:14:24 – 00:24:39:24
Michelle
So there are parents that are, you know, active with that, with their kids, and there are some that aren’t. So, you know, everybody kind of has their own different idea of of quality time. You know, one of the things that we’re very fortunate is that we all have dinner together. Pretty much 99% of the time. It’s very rare that we don’t all have sit down together and have dinner.

00:24:40:00 – 00:25:06:19
Michelle
And there are some families that never have dinner together because the parents work, you know, second shift or third shift. And, you know, some are coming and going while, you know, kids are at school. So sometimes, you know, they might only get to have a meal together, you know, on a weekend or on a day off from work or something where for us, that’s something we do every day.

00:25:06:21 – 00:25:18:12
Michelle
You know, so and some people would find that, you know, very fortunate that we do that and we kind of take it for granted that it’s, you know, something kind of easy that we do.

00:25:18:14 – 00:25:42:03
Madison
Yeah, I definitely would say that. Well, I guess we kind of entered the third one so we could probably move on from that. So going along with that question, should every family try to strive to have some sort of quality spent family time together?

00:25:42:05 – 00:26:08:14
Joseph
I would say yes. But I think again, that’s kind of subjective. It works for us. It might not work for everybody. There are families that don’t get along with each other. There are families that their schedules don’t permit it. So you you try to do something like that. It can overstress a situation. But, I mean, speaking just from experience, that’s really what I thrive on.

00:26:08:14 – 00:26:29:15
Joseph
And that’s what energizes me. And that’s what, you know, brightens my day. And if I have a rough day at work, you know, I look forward to coming home and having dinner and having our talks and, you know, doing a podcast or whatever it is that we do, I that’s what, you know, I don’t I don’t live the work I work to live.

00:26:29:19 – 00:26:36:28
Joseph
And in I live for my family is really, you know, and that quality time is a representation of.

00:26:37:00 – 00:27:02:18
Madison
All right. So I don’t really know if I want to phrase the question like how it’s written, but let’s see. So should parents see quality time with their child as something more like it’s okay if they don’t do it, If like they do it occasionally, it’s fine? Or should they strive to be doing it?

00:27:02:21 – 00:27:30:12
Michelle
I guess it really depends on the situation because, you know, again, there are some parents that like to be hands on that want to be, you know, with their child and spend time with their child and do activities with their kids. And there are other parents that are more standoffish that, you know, feel uncomfortable, you know, doing that.

00:27:30:14 – 00:27:41:23
Michelle
You know, So it’s you know, it would be nice if every parent spent quality time with their kids, but unfortunately, not every parent parent does.

00:27:41:25 – 00:27:56:16
Madison
Yeah, I could definitely, you know, understand that. And, you know how that could be different between everybody. So how do you think our family dynamic would be different if we didn’t spend time together?

00:27:56:19 – 00:28:21:14
Joseph
I think it would probably be like the family dynamic that I had at home because we didn’t really spend time together. My dad kind of was never around, so he was. And it wasn’t for a number of reasons, one of which was he worked a really odd shift, but that was one of many reasons. But I think it would be like that.

00:28:21:14 – 00:28:47:28
Joseph
I think that’s kind of why I tend to be, I don’t know, smothering maybe when it comes to family time and wanting to have my family near me like it sounds silly, but one of the things that that I that is a pleasant sound for me is if if you guys are out doing something and I’m sitting downstairs and I hear the chime of the door, it’s like, Oh, everybody’s home now.

00:28:47:28 – 00:29:06:19
Joseph
So like, the house is complete now. The house has like a completely different feel to it when it’s when it has the family here than than if I’m here by myself. So it’s one of those things where I don’t think I’d like the family dynamic if we didn’t have that that family time.

00:29:06:21 – 00:29:22:00
Madison
I can totally understand that. A final question we have in the segment, because, you know, for some reason some of the other ones just ended up combining is, do you enjoy that? We all have time to spend with each other?

00:29:22:02 – 00:29:49:29
Michelle
Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, it’s it’s wonderful that we all get along and that we all enjoy each other’s company and that we do enjoy, you know, going and doing things together, you know, during the week and, you know, on the weekend rides and vacations and things like that. But I also think it’s nice when we get to have our time away from each other, too.

00:29:50:02 – 00:30:13:25
Michelle
You know, it’s not where we’re you know, we spend 24 seven together, you know, because I think, you know, it kind of makes the time that we do spend together special when, you know, if I go off to a red tent or something with, you know, friends of mine or you go and do something with friends of yours or daddy does stuff, you know.

00:30:13:25 – 00:30:17:01
Joseph
With with random people. Cause I have no friends.

00:30:17:03 – 00:30:41:10
Michelle
No, I was going to say, you know, like when you play your star Wars game, technically you’re home, but you’re not, you know, engaging with us. You’re, you know, doing your own thing. You know, I think that’s important as part of the dynamic as well, is to for everybody to have, you know, that that time away from the family unit as well.

00:30:41:12 – 00:30:42:27
Joseph
I have that effect on people you.

00:30:42:27 – 00:30:44:15
Michelle
Know yeah we’re we just want to be.

00:30:44:21 – 00:30:51:27
Joseph
Here and I want to get to work. That’s that’s one of my talents.

00:30:51:29 – 00:30:58:07
Madison
Well, either way, that was the end of our second segment. We’ll be right back and talk about being a.

00:30:58:07 – 00:30:59:11
Michelle
Roman.

00:30:59:14 – 00:31:09:19
Joseph
Role model.

00:31:09:21 – 00:31:41:20
Michelle
Insights into Entertainment, a podcast series, taking a deeper look into entertainment and media. Our husband and wife team of pop culture fanatics are exploring all things from music and movies to television and fandom. We’ll look at the interesting and obscure entertainment news of the week. We’ll talk about theme park and pop culture news. We’ll give you the latest and greatest on pop culture conventions.

00:31:41:22 – 00:32:11:19
Michelle
We’ll give you a deep dive into Disney, Star Wars and much more. Check out our video episodes at YouTube.com. Backslash Insights into things are audio. Episodes at podcast are insights into entertainment dot com or check us out on the web at insights into things icon.

00:32:11:21 – 00:32:38:19
Madison
Welcome back to Insights into Teens. Today we have our episode on perspectives of parenting, which honestly now I’m starting to realize is completely different from the title of the podcast. Never mind. Anyway, now we’re going to be talking while asking questions more or less about being a role model. So the first one we have is do you believe that parent can access important role models in their kids lives?

00:32:38:21 – 00:33:17:15
Michelle
Absolutely. I think, you know, I feel bad for kids that don’t see their parents as a role model because I think, you know, that should kind of be, you know, that the kid’s number one hero or number one role model, you know, person to to look to look up to. And I know in a lot of cases it’s not, unfortunately, because, you know, of just whatever the relationship is, you know, with the the child and the parent.

00:33:17:18 – 00:33:25:16
Madison
That’s true. How about this? Could a parent be both good and bad or bad role model to their kid?

00:33:25:18 – 00:33:55:18
Joseph
Absolutely. And I strive to straddle that stuff as much as possible. You know what I say? You’re nobody’s useless. You can always serve as a bad example. Seriously, though, yes, parents can. And should serve as role models. And parents get to choose what kind of role models they do, because specially at an earlier age, kids tend to look up to their parents just by default and and try to emulate them.

00:33:55:20 – 00:34:20:20
Joseph
And whether you exhibit good behavior or you exhibit bad behavior, the kids are going to going to emulate that. So, you know, for first time parents, it’s really tough to do simple things. You know, watch your language, ring your kids, and don’t say things that you don’t want your kids saying and don’t act a certain way. Don’t don’t do things in front of your kids that you don’t want your kids doing.

00:34:20:22 – 00:34:34:14
Joseph
And if you’re a first time parent, a lot of people don’t realize that right off the bat. So you can you can corrupt kids pretty quickly like that. So it’s very easy to unintentionally be that bad role model, I think.

00:34:34:16 – 00:34:43:04
Madison
All right. So how do you believe a good role model could affect a child?

00:34:43:06 – 00:35:10:10
Michelle
I think, you know, a good role model would be probably the best example. You know, for for a child to strive, you know, to to achieve things and and just see that, you know, this was a good role model. This is what I want to be like. You know, so I think that’s the best kind of role model to be.

00:35:10:13 – 00:35:14:18
Madison
All right. So how do you think a bad role model parent could affect a kid?

00:35:14:20 – 00:35:39:06
Joseph
Boy, how did that question, huh? I think the problem that you run into with bad role models, even bad role models, can have a good effect on kids. All right. I talk about my father a lot. I think my father was a bad role model. He wasn’t a particularly good family man. He didn’t spend time with us as a family.

00:35:39:06 – 00:36:17:06
Joseph
He treated my mother poorly. He treated us poorly. But by being a bad role model, it made me want to be a better person, a better father, a better husband. And I think if you have positive influence in your life to recognize when you’re a bad role model, the role model, then concert of a positive purpose. But if you don’t have, that positive influence in your life to be able to tell right from wrong, I think you can wind up repeating the sins of those of the role model.

00:36:17:08 – 00:36:20:12
Madison
Some very deep questions we got here, don’t we?

00:36:20:15 – 00:36:22:02
Joseph
Deep thoughts.

00:36:22:05 – 00:36:31:14
Madison
Yep. We already answered this one kind of. So is it okay to rely on other sources of role models for your kids?

00:36:31:16 – 00:37:05:03
Michelle
Absolutely. Because, you know, there are some parents who just don’t have the knowledge or the self-confidence to feel like a positive role model. And in that situation, they kind of are a better role model to, you know, show their kids, hey, listen, you know, this is what I did wrong, you know, as a kid or as an adult, you know, don’t follow my example.

00:37:05:08 – 00:37:20:00
Michelle
Look towards, you know, this other relative or, you know, as much as I would hate to say, ooh, look at the celebrity. You know, maybe, you know somebody that they know where you.

00:37:20:00 – 00:37:20:29
Joseph
Know.

00:37:21:06 – 00:37:49:19
Michelle
That maybe the child looks up to and for other reasons, a sports figure, even, you know, look, look, this person went to college and this person strived to to make all these changes and better themselves. This is who you should be. Don’t be like me where the the parent has enough knowledge to realize, hey, you know what? I’m not a good role model.

00:37:49:19 – 00:37:54:20
Michelle
Don’t do what I did. Follow. You know something? Something else?

00:37:54:22 – 00:38:22:18
Joseph
Yeah. And just to follow that up, I agree 100%. I think I think it’s okay to have that alternate role model if the parents aren’t up to the role or even as a supplemental in addition to your parents. But I think you need to have parents a mentor that’s close to you that can help you find a role model that’s appropriate.

00:38:22:21 – 00:38:56:00
Joseph
You need that level of guidance, that right from wrong, that that character judge, you need someone who could help you find that role model. Because unfortunately, today’s society is so quick to turn to celebrities and inappropriate celebrities as role models just because they’re celebrities. And what people tend to find out is once they go down that rabbit hole, that celebrities can be very flawed individuals who probably should not be.

00:38:56:03 – 00:39:09:03
Madison
Yeah, I can definitely see that. So even with outside role models, how much do you think the actions of a parent can affect development of their kids?

00:39:09:05 – 00:40:01:18
Michelle
100%. You know, if it’s if it’s the parent that’s around, you know, your your child and probably even if the parent isn’t around the child, you’re you’re still affecting that child. You know, you figure there parents of of divorce where a child might, you know, split their time between two households and maybe if they’re, you know, spending certain time with one parent versus the other, that could be, you know, have a positive or negative effect on the child depending on what type of environment that child’s in.

00:40:01:19 – 00:40:07:04
Michelle
So it’s kind of hard to say. It could kind of go either way. I think.

00:40:07:06 – 00:40:20:22
Madison
All right. And the final question I have for all of us is how do you think how do you feel about the possible role modeling you’ve given me over the years?

00:40:20:24 – 00:40:24:23
Michelle
I think we did horrible.

00:40:24:26 – 00:40:56:11
Joseph
I think I did too much role modeling because your personality wise, very much like me, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But that was never my intention in role modeling. You know, my biggest hope is that you are you. I want you. You’re a unique, brilliant, wonderful, creative individual. And I want you to be you. I don’t want you to be a mini version of me.

00:40:56:11 – 00:41:10:01
Joseph
And I you know, there’s a certain to a certain extent, I did the same thing with and I don’t know if it’s just because of a forceful personality I have or what. But, you know, I won.

00:41:10:02 – 00:41:11:02
Michelle
The genetics.

00:41:11:07 – 00:41:33:26
Joseph
Of the genetics I want you to be. Yeah, well, I think maybe I was too much of a role model at times, but I think you’re at this point in time, you’re starting to blossom and come into your own and you are that unique person that I always wanted you to be.

00:41:33:28 – 00:42:18:13
Michelle
Oh, me? I think there are things that, you know. Like. Like Daddy said, I’m very proud of you for being who. You are. I. I look forward to the other changes that you’ll be going through the next, you know, two years of high school and then on to college, hopefully. And where that that leads you things that I kind of thought how you felt about things recently, finding out that you feel differently.

00:42:18:16 – 00:42:49:11
Michelle
Kind of surprised me. Didn’t I don’t know if it shocked me, but I kind of felt like I wasn’t a good role model in that respect because of the choices that you were were making with that. But I support your decisions. And again, would never not love you for it and feel okay if that’s the way you are, that that’s the way you are, because that’s your decision.

00:42:49:12 – 00:43:07:09
Michelle
You came to that conclusion on your own and that’s how it should be with with things like that. So I think, you know, for the 16 and a half years you’ve been around, I think we’ve done a pretty darn good job so far already.

00:43:07:11 – 00:43:12:03
Joseph
All that. And she’s humbled to.

00:43:12:06 – 00:43:16:15
Madison
All right. Well, that’s the end of our.

00:43:16:17 – 00:43:19:03
Joseph
Awkward, painful discussion.

00:43:19:06 – 00:43:23:27
Madison
I’m sorry. I’m not used to hosting and I don’t even have any like, Oh, my goodness.

00:43:23:27 – 00:43:30:24
Joseph
I was not commenting on your hosting skills or somebody sensitive.

00:43:30:26 – 00:43:33:16
Michelle
And anyway, I’m glad we have this quality time together.

00:43:33:18 – 00:43:34:14
Joseph
So you may.

00:43:34:14 – 00:43:37:18
Madison
Look at quality time.

00:43:37:20 – 00:43:43:18
Joseph
Anyway. Anyway, did we want to do some show plugs and did you have closing thoughts?

00:43:43:20 – 00:43:46:06
Madison
Anything I can probably do Show plugs.

00:43:46:06 – 00:43:48:15
Joseph
All right. How about we do some show plugs here?

00:43:48:18 – 00:44:13:05
Madison
Because, you know, I didn’t do it in the beginning, but even then I don’t really. But anyway, so show plugs you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, tune in. And pretty much anywhere you can get a podcast at this point. You can email us at commented incised the things dot com. Let us know how we’re doing.

00:44:13:06 – 00:44:18:27
Madison
Tell us your show topics. Tell us what you don’t want us to do. You know all that good stuff we.

00:44:18:29 – 00:44:22:02
Joseph
Sense where the bodies are.

00:44:22:05 – 00:44:49:25
Madison
We’re still fine trying to find those bodies people you can get us on Twitter at insights underscore things. We’re on YouTube at YouTube.com slash insights into things. We stream five days a week on Twitch, twitch dart, TV slash insights into things you can find our audio podcast listed as podcast dot insights into dot com. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com Plus.

00:44:49:25 – 00:45:05:15
Madison
Enter insights into Things podcast on Instagram at Instagram dot com slash inside the things and you can get links to all these and more on our website at WW W about insights into things dot com.

00:45:05:17 – 00:45:08:08
Joseph
That’s it yep number one in the box.

00:45:08:08 – 00:45:08:21
Madison
Five.

00:45:08:27 – 00:45:12:15
Joseph
Well it’s now we don’t need your we don’t need your average All.

00:45:12:15 – 00:45:14:19
Madison
Right signed by everyone.

00:45:14:24 – 00:45:15:03
Joseph
Well.