Insights Into Teens: Episode 131 ”Teens and Complaining”

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-j6uqa-114a4f6

Complaining has a negative connotation, and is viewed as a bad thing by most people. But is there anything to be said for making your opinion on a given situation heard by the person causing it? Can doing so actually improve a relationship you have with someone? Is there an art to complaining in a way that actually brings about a positive result? We’ll discuss these things and how to help your teen who might have a negative outlook on life.

Show Notes

INTRO THEME]
[INTRODUCTIONS]
Insights Into Teens: Episode 131 “Teens and Complaining”
My happy and well adjusted co-host Madison Whalen

Summary
Complaining has a negative connotation, and is viewed as a bad thing by most people. But is there anything to be said for making your opinion on a given situation heard by the person causing it? Can doing so actually improve a relationship you have with someone? Is there an art to complaining in a way that actually brings about a positive result? We’ll discuss these things and how to help your teen who might have a negative outlook on life.

Show Plugs
Subscriptions:
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Google Podcasts
Stitcher
iHeartRadio
Tunein

Contact Info
Email us at:
Comments@insightsintothings.com
Twitter:
@insights_things
Hi-res videos on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/insightsintothings
Streaming 5 days a week on Twitch:
http://www.twitch.tv/insightsintothings
Audio Versions:
http://podcast.insightsintoteens.com/#
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/InsightsIntoThingsPodcast/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/insightsintothings/
Links to all these on the web Web:
https://www.insightsintothings.com

[TRANSITION]

[SEGMENT 1]

What is Complaining?
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/business/art-complaining-constructively-ncna764096
https://nbcnews.to/3DdSVm0

There are some people who are incredibly effective at making complaints.
They seem to know instinctively how to pitch their problem, what to say, and what to do to get apologies, refunds, or other satisfactory outcomes.
Other people find that they just seem to end up shouting in frustration down the phone.
The key to success is constructive complaining
Constructive complaints are solution oriented, versus unfiltered rumination on negative experiences.
Complaining can improve your mental state, boost your overall level of happiness and even benefit your relationships — if you do it the right way

Complaining Can Hurt — or Help — Your Mental Health
What makes an effective complaint versus one that’s just going to make the situation at hand feel worse?
One key differentiator is whether or not you’ve got a solution in mind.
Complaining for the purpose of resolving a concern or grievance is helpful for mental health.
It is a way to channel your needs into actionable outcomes
Which can lead to positive experiences like self-awareness and happiness.”

Research found that the more pet peeves participants had about current or past relationships, the less highly they ranked themselves in areas of happiness and mindfulness.
The study concluded that mindfulness may be a means of attenuating one’s likelihood of expressing pet peeves when one is feeling happy.
Expressing complaints only when they believe they will accomplish desired outcomes.
Complaining without potential solutions or the intention of a positive outcome fuels further negativity
Short bursts of complaints are preferable so stress hormones don’t build.

Complaining as a means to a better end is key
Doing so without a plan of action is where your mental state starts to feel the effects.
Venting, or going on one long rant, is harmful to our mental health.
Aside from not having a favorable outcome in mind, venting is also typically the result of holding something in that’s been eating away at you for too long — which comes with its own set of health implications.
Holding in feelings has a negative impact on mental and physical health

Complaining Can Affect Your Relationships
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
So it’s no surprise that frequent complaining can negatively impact your relationships.
But not speaking up about something that’s bothering you can also end up souring a relationship — and present itself as a bigger issue in the long run.

If a friend hurts your feelings, and the relationship is important enough to maintain, then complaining constructively can help you to move past the issue
If you don’t talk about the incident, then hurt feelings will fester and you will grow distant.
But, if you do talk about it, and share how and why you were hurt, then your friend has the chance to apologize and to make things right.
The relationship will get deeper and you will feel happier since you are no longer carrying the weight of the situation.

It can be a challenge to navigate the exchange, and ensure that your complaint is received constructively by the person on the other end.
We should come from a place that has a plan of action.
When we are given specific suggestions to fix the situation, or the opportunity to discuss how we might work together to make things better, then we have hope
That hope impacts our mindset and our belief that we can move forward positively in the relationship.

[AD1: SSE]

[SEGMENT 2]

How to Complain Effectively
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/15/smarter-living/consumer-complaint-writing-letter.html
https://nyti.ms/3dbAoMI

Vent, then write
Deal with your emotions
The most effective letters of complaint are confident and calm, so do not make threats or write in uppercase letters as if you were shouting.
It may feel like ranting helps you communicate how unhappy you are, but stick to the relevant details.
Keep your emotions — and sarcasm — in check, or you run the risk of turning your reader against you.
Get the shouting out of your system first, then sit down to write.

Be clear about what you want
State your “conditions of satisfaction”
What are you expecting from the other party?
Be reasonable, though.
The remedy you seek should be proportionate to the problem you experienced.
If you had a terrible meal at a restaurant, ask for a refund or credit to a future dinner.
Don’t, however, ask for a brand new car just because the tail light went out a month after you drove it off the lot.
Be focused and think about what you want
Do you want the company to improve, get compensation for your issue or simply complain?
Treat your demand for a remedy like a salary negotiation: Don’t be the first to name your price. Wait and see what they offer.
If it’s insufficient, then you politely tell them that it’s inadequate in your eyes

Be succinct
Go light on the details and don’t treat your letter like a legal brief with multiple exhibits.
The first paragraph of your letter or email should be no more than seven lines.
The first paragraph is the only thing that is going to get read carefully
Once you have more than seven lines or bullet points, everybody sees gray.
Your letter should be no more than a page, single-spaced
Be specific about dates, times, names and locations.
Attach documentation if necessary or a list of other items you can provide if they’re requested.
Photos are helpful.

Write a ‘complaint sandwich’
Your opening line can be something positive about how long you’ve been a customer or why you like a company’s product.
It signals you are being measured
The “lean meat” of the sandwich should be your complaint, presenting the relevant details as briefly as possible.
The last layer should end on a positive note such as “I really hope you can resolve this issue for me” or “I hope to continue my relationship with the company.”

Mistakes to Avoid
Don’t exaggerate your history or overinflate the situation, over embellishment of the complaint details can erode your credibility
Avoid foul language. It will also erode your credibility.
Don’t be unreasonable in your demands.
Understand that sometimes circumstances that caused the reason for complaint might not be entirely within either parties hands so don’t blame all of your problems on the person your complaining to

[AD2: ENTERTAINMENT]

[SEGMENT 3]

How to Deal with a Child Who Constantly Complains
https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-constantly-complains-1094982
https://bit.ly/3G3SpJd

Much of what we’ve talked about so far was targeted more at lodging complaints against other people, businesses and entities.
While many of the facts and hints discussed earlier can apply across the board I didn’t want to neglect the teen focused aspect of the podcast.

Complaining and whining are two of the most frustrating things parents face.
They are also completely normal.
In fact, the average adult complains 30 times a day or 9 minutes total!

Kids complain for lots of good reasons: to blow off steam, to connect with us, and because they feel powerless.
Other times, the complaints might mask an underlying emotion that needs to be released.
Whatever the cause, complaining and whining are opportunities to help our kids find better ways to express their feelings, and shift to a more positive mindset.
While it’s normal to vent sometimes, frequent complaining is not a healthy option.
A study at Stanford University showed that complaining shrinks the hippocampus, an area of the brain necessary for problem-solving and emotion regulation.

If children are always focused on the negative, they will be at a higher risk of mental health problems, like depression and anxiety.
They will also be more likely to encounter social problems.
Their peers won’t want to spend time with a kid who constantly complains.

If your child complains about everything or whines regularly, help them learn to be more positive.
If you don’t curb the negativity and unhealthy social habits while they are young, they may grow up to become an adult who constantly complains.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Emotions
Although you might be tempted to say something your parents probably told you, like, “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about,” minimizing your child’s feelings isn’t helpful.
Instead, briefly acknowledge your child’s distress and then move on.
Say something such as, “I know you’re uncomfortable right now because we’ve been in the car for a long time, but we still have another hour to go.”

Sometimes kids complain because they want you to know that they’re dealing with some difficult feelings or some physical discomfort.
Validating your child’s discomfort may be enough to settle them down.

Show a little empathy and make it clear that dealing with discomfort is part of life.
If your child’s behavior requires further intervention, discipline the behavior, not the emotion.
Say something like, “It’s OK to feel frustrated, but it’s not OK to throw things.”
If there are further protests or your child begins whining, ignore it.
Make it clear that you aren’t going to pay attention to negative attempts to get attention.

Encourage Problem-Solving
If your child is complaining to you about something, encourage them to solve the problem.
If they say, “I’m hot,” while they are playing outside, ask, “What do you think you should do about that?”
If they need help thinking of options, remind them that they could sit in the shade, or ask for help getting a cold drink.

Teaching your child problem-solving skills can help them see that coming to you and complaining isn’t likely to fix the problem.
But they can ask for help solving the problem or they can figure out how to solve the problem on their own if it’s age appropriate to do so.

When kids improve upon their problem-solving skills, they will be less likely to complain.
Instead, they’ll take action that improves their situation.

Be cautious about rescuing your child when they are struggling with frustration or when they are having a hard time.
If you jump in and solve every problem for them, they may develop a sense of learned helplessness where they assume other people have to solve problems on their behalf.

Point Out the Positive
If your child is always quick to point out the negative in any situation, point out the positive.
This can help your child develop a more balanced view of the world instead of only seeing the bad.

If they say, “I hate that we had to leave the park early because it rained,” you might respond by saying,
“That can be frustrating when that happens. But I’m happy we got to go to the park and play for a while before the rain started.”

Help Them Find Agency
Don’t let your child stay stuck in a victim mentality.
If they think they are constantly a victim of bad circumstances and mean people, they won’t take any action to fix the situation.

Help them focus on the things they can control.
If they are complaining that they can’t ride their bike because it’s raining, talk about the indoor activities they could do to have fun.

When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, an overly negative attitude can signal an underlying mental health issue.
Children with depression, for example, often dwell on the negative and children with anxiety often imagine worst-case scenarios.
If you suspect your child’s constant complaining could be a sign of something more serious, speak with your doctor for advice on where to go next

[TRANSITION]

[CLOSE]
Closing thoughts shoutouts

[OUTRO AND CREDITS]

Show Plugs
Subscriptions:
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Google Podcasts
Stitcher
iHeartRadio
Tunein

Contact Info
Email us at:
Comments@insightsintothings.com
Twitter:
@insights_things
Hi-res videos on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/insightsintothings
Streaming 5 days a week on Twitch:
http://www.twitch.tv/insightsintothings
Audio Versions:
http://podcast.insightsintoteens.com/#
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/InsightsIntoThingsPodcast/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/insightsintothings/
Links to all these on the web Web:
https://www.insightsintothings.com

Transcription

00:00:01:14 – 00:00:07:20
Michelle
Insightful podcasts. By informative host.

00:00:11:02 – 00:00:16:18
Michelle
Of insights into things.

00:00:17:25 – 00:00:18:19
Michelle
A podcast.

00:00:18:20 – 00:00:19:03
Michelle
Network.

00:00:26:10 – 00:00:42:18
Michelle
Welcome to Insights into Teams, a podcast series exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison. Weil is a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

00:00:51:00 – 00:01:03:25
Joseph
Welcome to insights into teens, this is episode 131 teens and complaining. I’m your host, Joseph Whalen, and my happy and well-adjusted co-host Madison Whalen.

00:01:04:00 – 00:01:05:05
Madison
Hi, everyone. Hi, how are.

00:01:05:05 – 00:01:06:02
Joseph
You doing today, Maddie?

00:01:06:22 – 00:01:07:24
Madison
No, no. Right? How about you?

00:01:07:29 – 00:01:17:28
Joseph
I’m doing good. I just, you know, I’ve been looking forward to this podcast here so we can do some complaining today because I love to complain. Do you complain a lot? Oh.

00:01:18:26 – 00:01:32:01
Madison
I feel like I’m playing well. Certain times when my emotions kind of get to me and when I feel like I need to complain, but I try not to do it in front of most people, so that’s good at least.

00:01:32:09 – 00:01:35:05
Joseph
Well, that’s good. I can get you on your soapbox usually, though.

00:01:35:16 – 00:01:36:06
Madison
Yeah.

00:01:37:02 – 00:01:52:13
Joseph
So we were off last week because of the holiday. We’ve got a couple of episodes before the next holiday, so we’re going to get a few in this weekend. We will hopefully be shooting the audio for the Christmas special this year.

00:01:52:23 – 00:01:59:18
Joseph
Yeah, we’re doing The Grinch Stole Christmas, and you’re providing all the illustrations for us online.

00:01:59:29 – 00:02:00:14
Madison
Yep.

00:02:00:24 – 00:02:01:27
Joseph
Which is very nice.

00:02:02:16 – 00:02:03:21
Madison
And almost all of them done.

00:02:03:25 – 00:02:15:27
Joseph
Yeah, there’s, I think, two more that we need to get done. We did our test layout. I read through single read through of the script earlier in the week, so we should be good to go. Everything should be good.

00:02:16:12 – 00:02:28:12
Joseph
We should have it available. I don’t know where we’re going to really get that might we might not release it until Christmas. We’ll see how far we get. Before we get started, I did have a programing note, so when we.

00:02:30:26 – 00:02:56:12
Joseph
Record when we go live like now and during the week, we will broadcast rebroadcast recordings of the show five days a week. When we do that, we do it through a reflector called Re Stream that I know, and what that allows us to do is broadcast out to multiple video providers so you can actually find us on

00:02:57:05 – 00:03:15:19
Joseph
. They think we’re streaming to five different sources now. one thing I did want to point out is because of that we each of those has their own chat window that’s associated with it. And because of that, we don’t we’re not always looking at all the chat windows.

00:03:16:05 – 00:03:32:11
Joseph
So I want to apologize to anybody who is interacting or attempting to interact with us on any of those streaming sites in the in the chat sessions on those sites themselves. I don’t have the ability to look at all those at once.

00:03:32:11 – 00:03:50:24
Joseph
Typically, the one that I’m looking at the most often is our Twitch stream. And so if you want to interact with us, you can interact with us on our Twitch stream if that’s what you want to do. I do hope to have a Discord server set up probably in the early in the next year and will move

00:03:50:24 – 00:03:57:09
Joseph
all of our communications over to the Discord server so we can interact with our audience a little bit better.

00:03:57:17 – 00:03:58:25
Madison
Finally, during a disco at home?

00:03:59:02 – 00:04:16:09
Joseph
Yes. Yeah. Well, I have it for other things, but I don’t have it for the show yet. So I just wanted to point that out. I wanted to apologize to people. There was a there was one service, two services actually, that people were attempting to interact with, and I just didn’t have the chat windows up for those

00:04:16:09 – 00:04:33:20
Joseph
services at the time. So my apologies for that. Although if you do want to interact with us, we are available via Twitter and insights underscore things on Twitch. Like I said, I typically mount on their twitch. Most of the time.

00:04:34:20 – 00:04:52:17
Joseph
So you can get us on Twitch and Twitch Zap TV slash insights into things. You can email us at comments and insights into things dot com. Or you can get us on Facebook and give us feedback through Facebook at Facebook, dot com slash insights, other things, podcasts and our regular channels.

00:04:53:11 – 00:04:55:15
Madison
Users took their time to give us response.

00:04:55:16 – 00:05:01:13
Joseph
Yeah, well, it kind of made sense to do a show plugs there. I didn’t ask anyone to subscribe yet, though I’ll wait till the end of the show for that.

00:05:01:18 – 00:05:02:02
Madison
Yeah.

00:05:02:15 – 00:05:18:22
Joseph
So today we’re talking about complaining. So the concept for this show, when I originally came up with it and put it in our little suggestion list. Was there’s a right way and a wrong way to complain? Complaining isn’t inherently bad.

00:05:19:12 – 00:05:34:01
Joseph
Good things can come from complaining. So when I started putting the show together, that was the mindset from which I came from with it. But in working through the show, I got through the first two segments and realized that it’s kind of.

00:05:35:03 – 00:05:54:05
Joseph
Not a teen oriented type thing, and you’ll see as we work through the show. So I went through and and kind of did the third segment as a very different type of approach to complaining. So we kind of have a two part show today.

00:05:55:05 – 00:06:12:16
Joseph
We’re broken in three segments, so we’re not talking about complaining and the fact that it’s always kind of had a negative connotation and it’s been viewed as a bad thing by most people. But is there anything to be said for making your opinion on a given situation heard by the person causing it?

00:06:13:25 – 00:06:31:10
Joseph
Can doing so actually improve a relationship you have with someone? Is there an art to complaining in a way that actually brings about a positive result? So we’re going to discuss all these things and how to help your team who might have a negative outlook on life in the last segment.

00:06:33:14 – 00:06:57:04
Joseph
Are you ready to get started? Yep. All right. I think we’re good to go. There we go. So what is complaining, so there was an NBC News article that I drew a good portion of this information from. Let me say that there are some people who are incredibly effective at making complaints.

00:06:58:01 – 00:07:14:13
Joseph
They seem to know instinctively how to pitch their problem, what to say and what to do to get apologies and refunds and other satisfactory outcomes. Other people find that they just seem to end up shouting in frustration at the phone and get nothing in return.

00:07:15:19 – 00:07:37:10
Joseph
The key to success is constructive, complaining now constructive complaints are solution oriented versus unfiltered ruminations on negative experiences. Complaining can improve your mental state, boost your overall level of happiness, and even benefit your relationship if you do it the right way.

00:07:37:26 – 00:07:46:09
Joseph
So when I mentioned this to you right off the bat, your initial reaction was, Oh well, we’re going to be talking about KARENS, aren’t we? What do you what do you mean by that?

00:07:46:19 – 00:07:59:26
Madison
Well, like I know that they’re like the term. Karen has been used a lot in modern society about basically people who just complain about the smallest things and do it in a really extreme way.

00:08:00:08 – 00:08:01:14
Joseph
Can I talk to your manager.

00:08:02:24 – 00:08:04:18
Madison
Basically like that, right?

00:08:05:10 – 00:08:29:08
Joseph
That’s not what we’re going to be talking about today. So today we’re talking, we’re kind of talking about really what we’re talking about here is how to. Complain in a way to solve a problem, and these first couple of examples that we have, some are relationship based, some are dealing with businesses, you know, restaurant stuff like that

00:08:29:08 – 00:08:50:00
Joseph
. So. The approach that we take can be used in just about any incident, but these happen to be specific examples that probably aren’t teen centric but could be used in a team environment. So let’s talk about whether complaining can help or hurt your mental health.

00:08:50:18 – 00:09:07:25
Madison
So what makes an effective complaint versus one that’s just going to make the situation at hand feel worse? one key differentiator is whether or not you’ve got a solution in mind. Complaining for the purpose of resolving a concern or grievance is helpful for mental health.

00:09:08:19 – 00:09:29:26
Madison
It is a way to channel your needs into actionable outcomes, which can lead to positive experiences like self-awareness and happiness. Research found that more pet peeve that the more pet peeves participants had about current or past relationships, the less likely they ranked themselves in areas of happiness and mindfulness.

00:09:30:23 – 00:09:51:04
Madison
The study concluded that mindfulness may be a means of and attenuating. I’m sorry, I still can’t say that one. That’s OK. Attenuating one’s likelihood of expressing pet peeves when one is feeling happy. Expressing complaints only when they believe they will accomplish desired outcomes.

00:09:53:03 – 00:10:14:07
Madison
Complaining without potential solutions or the intention of a positive outcome fuels further negativity. Short burst of complaints are preferable, so stress hormones don’t build. Can paint Obama sorry, complaining as a means to better to a better end is key.

00:10:14:27 – 00:10:35:23
Madison
Doing so without a plan of action is where your mental state starts to feel the effects venting or going on one long round is harmful to our mental health. Aside from not having a favorable outcome in mind, venting is also typically the result of holding something in that’s been eating away at you for too long, which comes

00:10:35:23 – 00:10:43:05
Madison
with its own set of health implications. Hoarding in feelings has a negative impact on mental and physical health.

00:10:44:01 – 00:11:04:04
Joseph
So kind of what they’re talking about here is sort of that initial, at least for me, because I’m guilty of some of this myself. It’s that initial reaction and emotional reaction like somebody does something to you. And probably the first example I can give is any bad experience I’ve ever had at Disney.

00:11:04:22 – 00:11:21:29
Joseph
OK, so I get stuck in a line or they shut the the vendor down or the restaurant down as I’m waiting in line or they adjust my my reservation or whatever it is. And my initial reaction is one of anger.

00:11:22:08 – 00:11:37:22
Joseph
And if I react, then and I complain, it’s generally not a constructive complaint because I’m just acting out of rage at that point in time. I just want them to know that I am very angry at them. I’m paying all this money.

00:11:37:22 – 00:11:53:07
Joseph
I’m not giving the service. I want blah blah blah blah blah. And that’s what they hear. Blah blah blah blah blah. Fortunately, most of the people don’t at Disney are trained and are very professional about dealing with people like like me when I’m when I’m in that mood.

00:11:54:28 – 00:12:12:10
Joseph
But what I find is that if I step back and I cool off, I think about the situation, then I can come at it with a constructive like, OK. So you change my reservation and it’s going to throw off on my fast passes.

00:12:12:20 – 00:12:24:23
Joseph
You know, it was one of the big complaints I had at the one time. So what’s my solution? What do I want? I just want them to sit there and listen to me, browbeat them in complaining. Yell. Well, no, I still want dinner and I still want to go on these, right?

00:12:24:23 – 00:12:36:13
Joseph
So what can you do for me? All right. So let’s sit down and talk about now we can reasonably sit down and talk about a solution. And that’s what they talk about there when you’re talking about businesses and stuff.

00:12:36:29 – 00:13:00:21
Joseph
Hmm. Now you also go on to talk about the fact that complaining can affect your relationships. You catch more flies with Honey than you do with vinegar. So the saying goes. So it’s no surprise that frequent complaining can affect negatively impact your relationships, but not speaking up about something that’s bothering you can also end up souring a

00:13:00:21 – 00:13:22:08
Joseph
relationship and present itself as a bigger issue in the long run. If her friend hurt your feelings and the relationship is important enough to maintain, then complaining constructively could help you move past the issue. If you don’t talk about the incident, then hurt feelings will fester and you’ll grow distant.

00:13:22:29 – 00:13:38:18
Joseph
But if you talk about it and share how and why you were hurt, then your friend has a chance to apologize and to make things right. The relationship will get deeper and you will feel happier since you’re no longer carrying around the weight of that situation.

00:13:39:25 – 00:14:01:25
Joseph
It can be a challenge to navigate the exchange and ensure that your complaint is received constructively by the person on the other end. We should come from a place that has a plan of action. When we’re given specific suggestions to fix the situation or the opportunity to discuss how we might work together to make things better, then

00:14:01:25 – 00:14:23:02
Joseph
we have hope and that hope impacts our mindset and our belief that we can move forward positively in a relationship. Have you ever had a situation like that where you’ve gotten angry at a friend or friends or done something and you were very angry at them for how did you how you handled that situation in the past

00:14:23:26 – 00:14:43:01
Madison
? I feel that. Yeah, I’ve definitely had plenty of those experiences, mainly in sixth grade, and for the most part, I’m always normally the one that has to apologize because normally I act out of rage for honestly a very little inconvenient thing my friend did that kind of like made me kind of upset.

00:14:43:23 – 00:15:03:08
Madison
So like, basically, I’m normally the one who has to apologize in the end, for the most part. So. I’m probably not the one complaining. Well, I am kind of complaining, but, you know, I have to figure out how to resolve it and blending isn’t normally the resolving part and all part, right?

00:15:04:08 – 00:15:19:24
Joseph
Yeah, the problem that I’ve had in situations like that is that. I’ve I’ve always been of the belief that if something is wrong, it needs to be fixed. And until you acknowledge that there’s something wrong, it can’t get fixed.

00:15:20:13 – 00:15:38:26
Joseph
So complaining is a way to start the process of fixing things and healing relationships. And the problem that I’ve always had is. I am effective in that in certain mediums, like, for instance, face to face, face to face, I can.

00:15:40:06 – 00:16:00:17
Joseph
I’m much more empathetic to the person that I’m talking to. So my tone, my language and my attitude are much more regulated when I’m talking to someone face to face in a conflict if I try to resolve something over email.

00:16:01:26 – 00:16:28:01
Joseph
I tend to be much more harsh, much more cold in my responses, and I lack the empathetic responses that I need to have in a situation like that. Now the advantage to that is while I’m running an email, I can look at things more objectively and I can be more factual in my arguments when I’m face to

00:16:28:01 – 00:16:50:15
Joseph
face with someone and I’m trying to complain about something. I don’t have all the facts, and it’s difficult to put all those concepts and all those words together at the same time. So there’s tradeoffs to both of those, but I find face to face communication for me tends to be more successful because of that emotional connection that

00:16:50:15 – 00:17:00:03
Joseph
I conformed that I can’t get via email. So and I guess it works different for for everybody. How what do you how do you feel you communicate the best?

00:17:02:11 – 00:17:26:09
Madison
I typically you. I typically vocalize my complaints for the most part. I’ve done so with certain things and school. I basically mention of the teachers or I’ve mentioned to you guys, like if there was a problem going on in school and I’ve kind of tried to kind of vocalize it, I do tend to get a bit more

00:17:26:09 – 00:17:44:21
Madison
emotional and most of the time, it’s never like sometimes it genuinely depends like what the actual problem is because I’ve noticed that I tend to get like more emotional, like as an I cry mainly due to the situation that happens right?

00:17:45:15 – 00:18:08:05
Madison
And then I just feel uncomfortable with certain things or I just have or there’s just something that I don’t entirely that I’m scared to say. Sometimes it is out of rage, but like I said earlier, I never really when I do have like when I when I am kind of angry, I never really talk to people like

00:18:08:14 – 00:18:18:12
Madison
I just kind of vent my. I basically go to my room and just talk and like, just rant about it just to myself. I never really do that when I’m around people, though.

00:18:18:27 – 00:18:41:16
Joseph
And you know, that’s probably the smart thing to do. I mean, that’s probably a lesson that I could learn because I’m the reactionary type of person a lot of times. And when something makes me angry, I want to fix it right there because I don’t like when things you know are injustice or you and I want to

00:18:41:16 – 00:18:47:08
Joseph
fix it right then and there, and I don’t take the time to smartly reflect on it and calm down.

00:18:47:11 – 00:18:57:19
Madison
Yeah. And I think I kind of learned from that due to how I acted around my friends because I was normal. The problem whenever we would get in the fights because I would just get a I would just get really emotional.

00:18:58:01 – 00:19:12:17
Madison
And I guess out of having multiple fights with them and knowing the consequences of reacting with complete anger, I normally just silently think about it. And I never really vocalize like I never really scream at people like that.

00:19:12:17 – 00:19:21:14
Madison
I’m frustrated and I kind of just think about it to myself. And when I have alone time, that’s basically when, like, I completely do an entire rant about it.

00:19:21:16 – 00:19:36:06
Joseph
Yeah. And that makes sense. You know, you’re doing it in a controlled environment thing. You’re you’re letting that, you know, you’re shaking that bottle of soda up and letting the pressure out slowly that way in a controlled way rather than exploding in somebody’s face, you know?

00:19:36:13 – 00:20:00:02
Joseph
Yeah. So we’re going to take a quick break and we’ll come back and talk about how to complain effectively. We’ll be right back. For over seven years, the second Sith empire has been the Premiere Community Guild in the online game.

00:20:00:03 – 00:20:22:09
Joseph
Star Wars The Old Republic with hundreds of friendly and helpful active members, a weekly schedule of nightly events, annual guild meet and greets the the community, both on the web and on Discord. The second civil empire is more than your typical gaming group.

00:20:23:04 – 00:20:46:17
Joseph
We’re family. Joining us on the star forward server for nightly events such as operations, flashpoints, world boss funds, Star Wars trivia, Old Lottery and much more. Visit us on the Web today at W W W Dot, the second ship and fire second.

00:20:53:28 – 00:21:10:19
Madison
Welcome back to inside two teens today, we’re talking about teens and complaining, and now we’re going to talk about how to complain effectively, and this actually comes from a New York Times article. So what they say to do is that you should vent and then right.

00:21:11:11 – 00:21:31:07
Madison
So deal with your emotions. The most effective letters of complaint are confident and calm. So do not make threats or write in uppercase letters as if you were shouting in Maine. It may feel like ranting helps you communicate how unhappy you are, but stick to the relevant details.

00:21:31:17 – 00:21:41:18
Madison
Keep your emotions and sarcasm in check, or you run the risk of turning your reader against you. Let the shouting out of your system first, then sit down to write.

00:21:42:26 – 00:22:02:26
Joseph
Be clear about what you want. State your conditions of satisfaction. What are you expecting from the other party? But be reasonable. The remedy, should you seek, should be proportionate to the problem in experience. If you had a terrible meal in a restaurant, ask for a refund or credit to a future dinner.

00:22:03:20 – 00:22:19:12
Joseph
Don’t ask for a brand new car because the talent went out a month after you drove it off the lot. Be focused and think about what you want. You want the company to improve. Do you want to get compensation for your issue or do you simply want to complain?

00:22:20:13 – 00:22:34:19
Joseph
Treat your demand for a remedy like a salary negotiation. Don’t be the first to name your price. Wait and see what they offer. If it’s insufficient, then you politely tell them that it’s inadequate in your eyes.

00:22:35:14 – 00:22:55:01
Madison
Isa said. Go light on the details and don’t treat you a little letter like a legal brief with multiple exhibits. The first paragraph of your letter or email should be no more than seven lines. The first paragraph is the only is the only thing that is going to get read carefully.

00:22:55:20 – 00:23:15:19
Madison
Once you have more than seven lines or bullet points, everybody sees gray your letters. Your letter should be no more than a page single-spaced. Be specific about dates, times, names and locations attached, documentation if necessary, or list of other items you can provide if they’re requested.

00:23:16:01 – 00:23:17:00
Madison
Photos are helpful.

00:23:17:28 – 00:23:38:03
Joseph
They talk about writing what they call a complaint sandwich. So your opening line can be something positive about how long you’ve been a customer and why you like a company’s product. It signals that you’re being measured. Lean meat of the sandwich should be your complaint, presenting the relevant facts as briefly as possible.

00:23:38:28 – 00:23:47:28
Joseph
The last layer should end on a positive note, such as I really hope you can resolve this issue for me or I hope to continue my relationship with the company.

00:23:48:21 – 00:24:07:08
Madison
And these are some mistakes to avoid. So don’t exaggerate your history or over inflate the situation over embellishment of the comps of the complaint. Details can erode your credibility. Avoid foul language. It will also reject credibility. Don’t be unreasonable in your demands.

00:24:07:17 – 00:24:19:05
Madison
Understand that sometimes circumstances that caused the reason for complaint might not be entirely with in either party’s hands. So don’t blame all of your problems on the person you’re complaining to.

00:24:20:00 – 00:24:49:13
Joseph
So these are very specific to complaints or issues that you have with companies, with products or services or something like that. They aren’t very good examples of teams typically would would say, but the methods are valid still. So for instance, if you have a teacher who says something that’s inappropriate in school and it makes you feel uncomfortable

00:24:49:14 – 00:25:11:29
Joseph
, you don’t think that what the teacher said was was fair or was appropriate. These types of things can help you to address those as well. You know, you might not be venting at that point in time, but maybe sitting down and writing down what your thoughts are afterwards so that you can put your thoughts together correctly and

00:25:11:29 – 00:25:25:08
Joseph
have all your facts straight. If you’re going to complain about it, what are you trying to get out of it? You know, do you want that person to be disciplined? Do you want that person to understand? You know, what they said or did was wrong?

00:25:26:19 – 00:25:42:14
Joseph
Have your objective in mind before you make that complaint to someone. And then be succinct, you know, don’t go in there and start ranting and raving and giving emotional, you know, diatribes, you want to make sure that you have your story together.

00:25:42:14 – 00:25:57:07
Joseph
You want to make sure that you’re giving the facts to you. You need to give. I don’t know about writing a complaint sandwich. I mean, that seems a little much. And I mean, that’s pretty pretty straight towards a, you know, a business there.

00:25:57:10 – 00:26:15:29
Joseph
Yeah. But your approach, you know that the details of that campaign sandwich make a lot of sense. So if you’re going to go in and complain to the principal, for instance, make the principal understand that you know this, this was an isolated incident.

00:26:16:12 – 00:26:32:02
Joseph
You’ve never had a problem with the teacher before you enjoy the class. You’re not a troublemaker, stuff like that. Be positive about it. And, you know, state what the problem is and be complimentary of any positive attributes that that teacher might have anyone.

00:26:32:22 – 00:26:42:28
Joseph
You know, they made this statement here, but you know, they really know how to get the students involved. They really care about the students. So you don’t want to go in there bashing whoever it is you’re complaining about.

00:26:44:25 – 00:27:01:03
Joseph
And the mistakes are easy to avoid. You know, you’d never want to go in there and over inflate your case because as soon as they start to investigate whatever your complaint is, the facts will come out. And if the facts come out that are different than to the point that you’re trying to make, it’s really going to

00:27:02:05 – 00:27:24:16
Joseph
erode any credibility that you have to begin with. So the ability to complain is a very important skill set. What situations have you found yourself in, where you’ve had to lodge complaints? Have you lodged complaints against institutions or individuals?

00:27:24:16 – 00:27:29:19
Joseph
Did you ever confront someone who maybe hurt your feelings or something like that can give any example?

00:27:30:11 – 00:27:50:27
Madison
Yeah, I’ve kind of had to do that kind of stuff. I’ve had to confront my teachers on certain things that happened and things that I just wanted to get fixed. I’ve had instances where someone said something that I didn’t really like, and I kind of had to mention it.

00:27:51:08 – 00:27:56:24
Madison
I had to mention about it and, you know, try to have it resolved.

00:27:59:06 – 00:28:13:22
Joseph
Well, what was the outcome, have you you know, when you had to go through these situations, did you find that your approach was effective or were you discounted? You know what was what was the ultimate outcome?

00:28:14:10 – 00:28:22:22
Madison
I would say that the outcome was good. Something like that never really happened again. So I would say that it was effective.

00:28:23:11 – 00:28:41:20
Joseph
OK? The only examples that I have here really are dealing with companies. You know, I buy a lot from Amazon and. There are advantages to Amazon, right, so when you buy from Amazon, you expect things to be shipped to you in X number of days, depending on what your account level is.

00:28:42:13 – 00:29:01:03
Joseph
And if they don’t get it in in the prescribed amount of time. It negates the advantages because you’re paying for a service, so you pay for that Amazon Prime membership. Which, by the way, if you do have an Amazon Prime membership, you get a free Twitch Prime subscription, you could throw our way.

00:29:01:11 – 00:29:16:24
Joseph
Really sorry, I couldn’t help, but you pay an annual fee to be an Amazon Prime member, and with that fee, you get two days shipping. Well, if I order something from Amazon and I’m supposed to get it in two days and I get it in three days.

00:29:17:23 – 00:29:33:03
Joseph
Then why am I paying for an Amazon Prime subscription at that point in time if I’m not giving the service? So whenever that happens, I’m the first one to write a, you know, I like to call them nasty grants because my emails tend to be a little bit more harsh.

00:29:34:19 – 00:29:49:05
Joseph
But it’s the fix things. You know, it’s not I just want to complain because I don’t because most people don’t listen to me when I complain. I want to fix things. Because if that’s happening to me, then it’s probably happening with someone else.

00:29:49:08 – 00:30:02:08
Joseph
If I can fix it for me, then I can fix it for somebody else to. I’m not being all altruistic or anything here, I want it fixed for me, if if somebody else benefits from that, that’s wonderful, but I’m not doing it necessarily for them.

00:30:03:28 – 00:30:11:03
Joseph
So have you ever had a situation where you’ve had to deal with that with an institution? Oh.

00:30:12:12 – 00:30:25:24
Madison
Yeah, there were definitely instances where the school system didn’t exactly didn’t really give me a result I liked, and thus I kind of look to you guys to help me kind of sort it out.

00:30:26:17 – 00:30:42:21
Joseph
Well, the one instance that that immediately pops to mind for me was when you had arranged your schedule around for this year with the anticipation of having a concert band. And then when you got your schedule, you didn’t get your concert band.

00:30:42:22 – 00:30:44:22
Joseph
How did that situation work out for us?

00:30:46:27 – 00:30:58:05
Madison
Well, you made sure to write. To the guidance counselor about it to, you know, just.

00:30:58:11 – 00:30:59:16
Joseph
Promptly ignored it.

00:30:59:29 – 00:31:06:03
Madison
Who? Yeah. And then, you know, we kind of just went on without me really joining contraband.

00:31:06:18 – 00:31:28:01
Joseph
Yeah, and that was a frustrating outcome here, and that’s usually not how I like to see these things resolved. So. Not all complaints that are constructive in nature always work, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that if something like that happens in the future, that I’m going to be discouraged to not want to try to make that change

00:31:28:01 – 00:31:47:25
Joseph
again. So, you know, it’s a lesson learned that you don’t always get what you want when you make your complaints. But that doesn’t make your complaint any less valid, you know. So anyway, we’re going to take our second break and then we’re going to come back kind of switch gears and talk about how to deal with a

00:31:47:25 – 00:31:53:29
Joseph
child who constantly complains, which that’s not you, by the way, just for the record.

00:31:54:03 – 00:31:54:19
Madison
Thank you.

00:31:54:21 – 00:31:55:17
Joseph
We’ll be right back.

00:32:04:04 – 00:32:25:24
Michelle
Insights into entertainment, a podcast series taking a deeper look into entertainment and media. Are husband and wife, team of pop culture fanatics are exploring all things for music and movies to television and fandom. We’ll look at the interesting and obscure entertainment news of the week.

00:32:28:02 – 00:32:46:04
Michelle
We’ll talk about theme park and pop culture news. We’ll give you the latest and greatest on pop culture conventions. We’ll give you a deep dove into Disney, Star Wars and much more. Check out our video episodes at youtube.com.

00:32:46:04 – 00:32:58:14
Michelle
Backslash insights into things are audio episodes and podcast insights into entertainment dot com or check us out on the web at insights into things dot com.

00:33:05:19 – 00:33:20:01
Joseph
Welcome back to insights into teens today, we’re talking about teens and complaining we’re getting all the complaints out of the way today. So how do you deal with a teen or a child who constantly complains this one comes to us from very well family here.

00:33:20:01 – 00:33:41:15
Joseph
We’ve we’ve consulted numerous times in the past. So much of what we’ve talked about so far today has been targeted, more lodging complaints against other people, businesses and entities. And while many of the facts and hints discussed earlier can apply across the board, I didn’t want to neglect our teen focused aspect of the podcast complaining and whining

00:33:41:15 – 00:33:56:05
Joseph
or two of the most frustrating things parents face. They’re also completely normal. In fact, the average adult complains 30 times a day, or about nine minutes a day total, which. Coming from my workplace, I would believe that.

00:33:56:16 – 00:33:56:23
Madison
If.

00:33:57:26 – 00:34:22:12
Joseph
Kids complain a lot for good reasons, you know, to blow off steam, to connect with us and because they feel powerless. Other times, the complaints might mask an underlying emotion that needs to be released. Whatever the cause, complaining and whining are opportunities to help our kids find better ways to express their feelings and shift to a more

00:34:22:12 – 00:34:47:05
Joseph
positive mindset. Well, it’s normal to vent, sometimes frequent complaining is not a healthy option. A study at Stanford University showed the complaining shrinks the hippocampus, an area of the brain for problem solving and emotion regulation. If children are always focused on the negative, they’ll be at higher risk of mental health problems like depression and anxiety.

00:34:48:02 – 00:35:03:00
Joseph
There’ll also be more likely to encounter social problems and their peers won’t want to spend time with a kid who constantly complains. If your child complains about everything or whines regularly, help them to learn to be more positive.

00:35:03:19 – 00:35:12:24
Joseph
If you don’t curb the negativity and unhealthy social habits while they’re young, they may grow up to be an adult who constantly complains.

00:35:14:01 – 00:35:27:21
Madison
So one way you could help your child is to acknowledge your child’s emotions, although you might be tempted to say something your parents probably told you like quit crying or give you something to cry about which OK, that’s a bit dark but short.

00:35:29:13 – 00:35:44:17
Madison
Minimizing your child’s feelings isn’t helpful. Instead, briefly knowledge your child’s distress and then move on. Say some things, such as I know you’re uncomfortable right now because we’ve been in the car for a long time, but we still have another hour to go.

00:35:45:14 – 00:36:02:25
Madison
Sometimes kids complain because they want you to know that they’re dealing with some difficult feelings or some physical discomfort. Validating your child’s discomfort may be enough to settle them down. Show a little empathy and make it clear that dealing with discomfort is a part of life.

00:36:03:16 – 00:36:18:15
Madison
If your child’s behavior requires further intervention, discipline, the behavior, not the emotion. Say something like it’s OK to feel frustrated, but it’s not OK to throw things if there are further protests or your child begins whining. Ignore it.

00:36:19:00 – 00:36:23:12
Madison
Make it clear that you aren’t going to pay attention to negative attempts to get attention.

00:36:24:17 – 00:36:38:11
Joseph
You can also try to encourage problem-solving. If your child is complaining to you about something. Encourage them to solve the problem. If they say on the hand while they’re playing outside, ask What do you think you should do about it?

00:36:39:09 – 00:36:53:07
Joseph
If they need help thinking of options, remind them they could sit in the shade or ask for help getting a cold drink. Teaching your child problem solving skills can help them to see the coming to you and complaining isn’t likely to fix the problem.

00:36:54:07 – 00:37:07:05
Joseph
But they’re going to ask for help solving the problem, or they can figure out how to solve the problem on their own if it’s age appropriate to do so. When kids improve upon the problem solving skills, they’ll be less likely to complain.

00:37:07:25 – 00:37:28:08
Joseph
Instead, they’ll take action that improves their situation. Be cautious about rescuing your child when they’re struggling with frustration or when they’re having a hard time. If you jump in and solve every problem for them, they may develop a sense of learned helplessness where they assume other people have to solve the problems on their behalf.

00:37:29:00 – 00:37:44:02
Madison
They also point out the positive if your child is always quick to point out the negative in any situation. Up the positive. This can help your child develop a more balanced view of the world instead of only seeing the bad, they say.

00:37:44:03 – 00:37:55:09
Madison
I hate that we had to leave the park early because it rained. You might respond by saying that can be frustrating when that happens, but I’m happy we got to go to the park and play for a while before the rain started.

00:37:56:09 – 00:38:18:11
Joseph
You can also help them find agency. Don’t let your child stay stuck in a victim mentality if they think they’re constantly a victim of bad circumstances and mean people, they won’t take any action to fix the situation. Help them focus on the things they can control if they’re complaining that they can’t ride their bikes because it’s raining

00:38:18:22 – 00:38:21:26
Joseph
. Talk about the indoor activities that they could do to have fun.

00:38:23:03 – 00:38:40:04
Madison
You should also know when you should seek professional help. Sometimes an overly negative attitude can signal an underlying mental health issue. Children with depression, for example, often dwell on the negative and children of anxiety often imagine worst case scenarios.

00:38:41:20 – 00:38:49:28
Madison
If you suspect your child’s constant complaining could be a sign of something more serious. Speak with your doctor for advice on where to go next.

00:38:50:26 – 00:39:05:01
Joseph
So let me run down just a couple of these real quick and see if any of these are ones that. That work for you or that that we should be trying more of, even though you don’t complain a lot, do we acknowledge your emotions?

00:39:05:01 – 00:39:10:09
Joseph
Do you feel that your emotions are acknowledging that we assist you with any emotional issues?

00:39:10:21 – 00:39:28:28
Madison
Yeah. And you guys typically have different ways of handling my various emotions, like if I do end up getting like really like angry and upset, you would normally give me some kind of chocolate and just, you know, coach me to calm down like you would kind of just find ways to calm me down.

00:39:29:28 – 00:39:40:24
Madison
If I’m sad and like, I’m going through a lot, you guys will kind of, you know, give me hugs, tell me everything’s going to be all right and help me look on the positive.

00:39:41:00 – 00:39:45:14
Joseph
Or go down. Turn on the game system in place of Call of Duty for a little while.

00:39:45:20 – 00:39:46:15
Madison
Yeah, that also.

00:39:46:15 – 00:40:06:26
Joseph
It’s a good stress reliever. Yeah. So how about encouraging problem? one of the big things that we have always been big on and we’ve talked a lot about on the podcast is is problem solving. And you know, that was why I kind of one of the focus, the whole angle of complaining on using it as a tool

00:40:06:26 – 00:40:18:29
Joseph
for problem solving. How do you feel your problem solving skills are? And do you think it’s it’s something that is what prevents you or causes you to not have to complain a lot?

00:40:19:27 – 00:40:34:18
Madison
I mean, that is probably a pretty good reason, because like a lot of the times when I did get upset, I never really thought anything out and I didn’t really try. And like once I actually had time, I was able to solve it.

00:40:35:10 – 00:40:51:21
Madison
So I definitely think that learning from my past mistakes, I started kind of realizing that, OK, if I completely complain about it right now, it probably won’t solve anything because I’m just an emotional mess at this point. How about we wait?

00:40:51:28 – 00:40:57:25
Madison
Then I can vent later on when I’m not around people, and then maybe I can try solving the problem then.

00:40:58:08 – 00:41:08:21
Joseph
Very good point. How about being positive? Do you consider yourself a positive person? Do you think positively? I’ll be honest.

00:41:11:17 – 00:41:28:09
Madison
I’m definitely not as negative as I used to be. I’m definitely starting to look a bit more on the positives. I start acknowledging what I’ve been acknowledging like good things that happened during the day, and I don’t hate every single time I have to go to school.

00:41:29:03 – 00:41:30:02
Joseph
I guess that’s an improved.

00:41:31:20 – 00:41:50:18
Madison
Like, I would always hate Mondays, I was always a big Monday complainer, and at this point, I’m honestly not all that bad about Mondays, despite the fact last this Monday was kind of as some stuff happened, but like it wasn’t like incredibly bad stuff, like my alarm didn’t go off, like when I really wanted it, but I

00:41:50:18 – 00:42:09:11
Madison
really didn’t stop me from it. But I wasn’t late to school, so I guess it wasn’t that bad. I ran into someone, slammed me with the door because I was walking, but that the pain kind of went away a little afterwards, and I honestly kind of forgot about it until I mentioned it to you guys.

00:42:09:27 – 00:42:28:07
Joseph
This is one area that I probably kind of failed myself, or I’m not always a positive thinker, and a lot of that has to do with. Early on in my professional career, I had worked in emergency management and in emergency management.

00:42:28:08 – 00:42:50:17
Joseph
You, you don’t have the luxury of looking at the positive side of things because it’s your job to have contingencies in place and plans in place to deal with the most ridiculous emergencies that could conceivably happen. That may, you know, you may have a 2% chance that it could happen, but you need to have an idea of

00:42:50:17 – 00:43:08:15
Joseph
what to do when that happens. So as a result, you know, I did that for, I don’t know, three years, four years or so, but the training involved in that and and the emergency nature of that. Kind of drilled into me this idea of always look for the bad and things.

00:43:09:22 – 00:43:27:00
Joseph
So that you can be ready for it. Not that I’m always negative, but you know, when I walk into a situation, the first things that I notice are the things that could go wrong. And as a result, people look at me in and and they see that in me and assume that I’m a negative type of person

00:43:27:07 – 00:43:46:17
Joseph
when really it’s I’m looking at that for a positive reason so that I can deal with the problem because you know, what I do professionally is problem-solving. Hmm. So my first outward perception tends to be negative. What about the idea, the concept of finding agency helping you find agency?

00:43:46:17 – 00:43:56:15
Joseph
Do you feel that you’re a victim of anything? You spoke about the one incident with that teacher. Do you think that you were victimized by that teacher in any way like?

00:43:58:12 – 00:44:18:27
Madison
I don’t know. It wasn’t really directed towards me, so it definitely wasn’t specific, and I know he probably didn’t really mean it in the malicious intent. It was just something kind of casual and it was kind of just of the mindset that most people that just there’s just the mentality in society that still kind of needs to

00:44:18:27 – 00:44:33:07
Madison
be broken because of the modern perception people have. And I know it wasn’t the guy’s fault. And and like everybody does like him, he’s a nice sob and like, I don’t personally have anything inherently against him besides less.

00:44:33:07 – 00:44:45:08
Madison
And overall, he’s honestly not like bad like he. He probably just suffers. Like I said, he probably just has that mentality, and I don’t really want to.

00:44:45:24 – 00:44:50:08
Joseph
Think that that macho stereotyping type of thing. Yeah.

00:44:50:12 – 00:45:06:20
Madison
And like, I don’t want to say that I’m victimized by him, like. Yes, it was definitely not very. It was definitely uncomfortable for me being the only female in the room and him saying something that felt kind, that made me uncomfortable being the only female in the room.

00:45:06:20 – 00:45:22:10
Madison
And I know that. And like, like I said, it wasn’t directed at me. It was just something kind of casual, but just kind of realizing someone had the that mentality kind of just made me uncomfortable. So I don’t really feel victimized by him.

00:45:22:17 – 00:45:25:04
Madison
I kind of just feel victimized by the stereotype.

00:45:25:11 – 00:45:43:23
Joseph
That makes sense. So one last question for you, and that is control. Do you feel that the things that are affecting you negatively that you would typically complain about, that you have some level of control over? Or do you feel helpless to do anything about them?

00:45:44:22 – 00:46:02:23
Madison
Oh, I do feel that in certain instances I do have control and like I have the ability to do something about it. And a lot of the times I would kind of be just speaking up. And like I’ve said before, I’m not the kind of person that, like initially like immediately reacts.

00:46:02:23 – 00:46:14:06
Madison
I’m the kind of person that really just kind of keeps quiet until I can kind of get my emotions under control. And that’s when I start to think a bit more logically about, OK, can I do anything about this?

00:46:14:29 – 00:46:32:19
Madison
And most of the time, I do try to figure out that maybe I could do something about it. And like, and I definitely think that I have a harder time doing something about it due to the fact that I don’t initially react immediately and I kind of just stay silent.

00:46:32:19 – 00:46:41:26
Madison
And in certain instances, I kind of just remain silent. But I definitely do think I have the ability to stand up when I feel it is necessary.

00:46:42:12 – 00:46:55:15
Joseph
OK. Well, I think that’s the important thing. We don’t want you to feel, you know, helpless or out of control. So. That’s never let it get to that point. That’s what complaining is for if you do it constructively, right?

00:46:55:19 – 00:47:13:09
Joseph
Yeah. So I think that was all we had today. We’ll take a quick break, come back, get your closing thoughts and shout outs, and then finish up with the business of the podcast. We’ll be right back. Go for your closing thoughts.

00:47:13:21 – 00:47:32:28
Madison
All right. So to everyone out there, I just wanted to say that complaining constructively or in the right amount is definitely something that I feel a lot of people need to work on. While it can definitely apply to all areas of life, it can also really apply with teens and like and I’m pretty sure I’ve kind of

00:47:32:28 – 00:47:51:25
Madison
mentioned this before and in some of my other closing thoughts. But basically, you don’t want too much or too little of it. If don’t complain enough, then things don’t ever get resolved if you complain too much. They also don’t get resolved because people don’t really want to listen to you constantly complaining well while not doing it and

00:47:51:25 – 00:48:01:00
Madison
can in a constructive way. So basically, all you really need to do is figure out a way to complain constructively in order to get things done.

00:48:01:16 – 00:48:11:00
Joseph
Very good. Always have an objective in mind and do it in a positive way, I think is the key to that. Yeah. Complaining is the key to change. That’s how change starts.

00:48:11:08 – 00:48:11:16
Madison
Mm hmm.

00:48:12:19 – 00:48:31:05
Joseph
So that was all we have for today before we do go. I would encourage our listening and viewing audience to subscribe to the podcast. You can get audio versions of this podcast listed as insights in the teens. VIDEO versions of all the network’s podcasts can be found listed as insights into things.

00:48:31:19 – 00:48:51:14
Joseph
We’re available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, TuneIn and pretty much any place you can get a podcast. I would also encourage our audience to reach out. Give us your feedback. We’d love to get our show suggestions from you and things to talk about here that but have a genuine impact on you.

00:48:52:02 – 00:49:12:14
Joseph
You can email them in the comments and insights of the things. Dot com. You can hit us on Twitter and insights underscore things you can get high res versions of all of our videos on YouTube at YouTube.com slash insights into things we do stream five days a week on Twitch at Twitch Dot TV’s Insights into things.

00:49:13:03 – 00:49:33:09
Joseph
Audio versions of this podcast can be found on the web at podcast Dot Insights in the teens dot com. VIDEO Versions of the podcast can also be found at Podcasts are invited to things dot com. You get us on Facebook at Facebook.com Slash Insights Into Things podcast or links to all that and more on our official website

00:49:33:09 – 00:49:38:12
Joseph
at W WWE Dot Insights into things dot com and you.

00:49:38:21 – 00:49:48:07
Madison
And don’t forget to check out our other two podcast insights and entertainment hosted by you and Mommy and then Dinner Tomorrow. Our monthly podcast hosted by you and my brother Sam.

00:49:48:15 – 00:49:55:05
Joseph
I said, Don’t forget to look for this year’s Christmas special from us. The Grinch who stole Christmas coming out soon.

00:49:55:15 – 00:49:56:00
Madison
Yeah.

00:49:56:14 – 00:49:57:27
Joseph
That’s it. Another one of the books.

00:49:58:00 – 00:49:58:18
Madison
By everyone.

00:49:58:21 – 00:49:59:07
Joseph
By.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.