Insights Into Teens: Episode 128 ”Teens and Procrastination”

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-sy7zx-111acb0

What is procrastination and what are some of the downfalls of it? What causes procrastination in teens? We’ll discuss all of this and how parents can help their teens overcome procrastination.

Show Notes

INTRO THEME]

[INTRODUCTIONS] 

  • Insights Into Teens: Episode 128 “Teens and Procrastination”
  • My talented and dedicated co-host Madison Whalen
  • Summary
    • What is procrastination and what are some of the downfalls of it? What causes procrastination in teens? We’ll discuss all of this and how parents can help their teens overcome procrastination.

[TRANSITION]

   [SEGMENT 1] 

What is Procrastination?

https://bit.ly/3vW3Q1Q

  • Procrastination is a given side-effect of being faced with work at any point in your life. 
    • It’s the common behavior that leads teenagers into putting off homework, studying or any other responsibilities for as long as possible.
    • Little bouts of procrastination here and there are perfectly normal and acceptable, but when it reaches the point of being a genuine distraction, it can become costly. 
  • Teens typically use little distractions to put off their work to the point of denial, and once time actually reaches to get the project done they rush to get everything accomplished in time. 
    • This constant cycle of delay and denial is one of the more common mindsets that teenagers put themselves under when it comes to procrastination.
  • Ultimately, the deadline is a major factor in how much people procrastinate. 
    • A far away deadline, as well as the need to avoid work, can lead to a natural reaction of putting off the assignment. 
    • As the deadline comes closer, the sudden threat of a due date is what sets off the stress to motivate yourself to finish. 
    • It’s the deadline that gets people to get the urgent sense of motivation, but when procrastination gets too far, it’s easy for the work to end up in poor quality.

The Problems with Procrastination
http://www.counselingtoyou.com/teen-procrastination.html

https://bit.ly/3GDHFT8

There are two types of procrastination…

  • Resistant Procrastination and Refusal Procrastination
    • Resistant procrastination – Delaying a task until “later” – which often ends up being the last minute – but still finally getting the task done.  
    • Refusal procrastination – Putting a task on “permanent hold” – pretending “later” will never come – and never completing the task. 
  • While many people practice the former from time to time, both forms of procrastination can be costly. 
    • For example, the delay caused by simply putting off what one dislikes or fears only lengthens the time one has to worry about getting the task done. 
    • Thus, procrastination creates more anxiety and stress than relief.
  • The goal of procrastination may be to escape an immediate obligation, demand, or need to work, but there’s a trap. 
    • Even if the task gets done in the end, procrastination adds to the stress and pressure of ordinary demands and causes them to take much longer than necessary.
  • In the worst-case scenario, teens and adolescents can get into what is known as “catastrophic functioning.” 
    • Catastrophic functioning is the use of delay and avoidance to create last minute crises in order to motivate oneself to do whatever it is that must be done. 
    • In short, creating stress to enable accomplishment. 
    • And when catastrophic functioning becomes routine, discomfort, fatigue, burnout, and even breakdown are likely to follow.

[AD1: SSE]

[SEGMENT 2]

What Causes Procrastination?

Procrastination is not a behavior that’s limited to teenagers… But why do both teens and adults procrastinate? Here are a few common examples of why we procrastinate.

  • We often delay tasks when we don’t understand how long they will take.
  • Those who suffer from anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies often procrastinate as a means of coping with stress.
  • A simple lack of motivation to start a task and being either unaware of or not caring about the consequences of inaction can lead to procrastination.
  • Most parents of teens are all too aware of their teens’ increased attempts to achieve self-empowerment by resisting parental authority. 
    • These efforts to resist parental authority take both active (such as being argumentative) and passive (such as delaying to take action) form.

Underlying Reasons for Procrastination

Psychologists suggest that the reasons for procrastination stem from four major underlying reasons which include the following:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-unmotivated-teen/201804/4-reasons-why-teens-cant-stop-procrastinating

https://bit.ly/3nEdthT

  • Anger
    • The most common cause of procrastination is anger. 
      • Teens who resent the authority of parents and teachers can get even by delaying work or making a half-hearted effort. 
      • For adolescents who feel powerless, open rebellion is not an option, because the consequences would be too great, and deep down, these teens want to succeed. 
      • This form of revenge is manipulative and passive-aggressive, but also highly effective, because it takes authority figures’ power away and drives them crazy. 
      • Never mind that it is also self-sabotaging; a teen typically cares more about their autonomy than their grades. 
      • In essence, the opt-out is saying, “You can’t tell me what to do. I will do my work when I am good and ready.”
  • Self-Doubt
    • Often times beneath the anger and resentment is an individual consumed with self-doubt. 
      • Kids don’t often start out feeling so hopeless. 
      • It takes years of questioning their own skills, wondering whether they have what it takes. 
      • This is especially true of kids who have Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder or learning disabilities. 
      • Opt-outs often did better in school when they were younger. 
      • However, when school became more challenging (as it always does), rather than step up the effort, they took their foot off the gas pedal. 
      • This is because they thought if school stopped being easy, it meant they were not smart enough. 
      • Trying was never an option, because it involved the possibility of failing, and then uncovering their perceived inadequacy.
  • Playing the Victim
    • Even though the procrastinator is imprisoned in a jail of his own making, he sees himself as the victim of those who set expectations and call the shots.
      • He feels trapped in a no-win situation: Doing his work brings on uncomfortable feelings, but so does not doing it (though just not now).
      • The victim approaches homework feeling that he has to do it, never that he wants to.
    • The pattern goes something like this: Your son dislikes chemistry, because it’s hanging over his head and freaks him out. 
      • Since he hasn’t acquired skills in it, he can’t do the assignments, so why try? 
      • Also, there’s a test coming up soon, and he must do well on it — except he knows he can’t. 
      • Suddenly, everything seems terribly unfair (the class is too hard), and the teacher angers him (“he goes too fast,” “he doesn’t like me,” etc.)
  • Perfectionism
    • A perfectionist may postpone starting a project because he feels overwhelmed by the sheer amount of energy it will take to do something perfectly. 
      • They will refer to work with words like “ought,” “must,” “have to,” and “should.” 
      • You probably don’t think of your teen as a perfectionist; if anything, they are the opposite. 
      • However, most perfectionists suffer from deep feelings of inadequacy. 
      • His desire to make everything absolutely perfect may mask problems of self-esteem and self-confidence. 
      • High standards are great; they give us something to aim for. 
      • Perfectionism takes hold when the failure to meet these expectations becomes unacceptable. 
      • Perfectionists who procrastinate set unrealistic expectations and then avoid work to rid themselves of the anxiety it causes.
    • Though many adults procrastinate, for some teens, it is a sign of immaturity. 
      • Getting down to work involves postponing pleasure until work is done, and being able to tolerate the anxiety and frustration that accompanies learning something new. 
      • You can hear your teen’s low frustration tolerance when he says things like: “This isn’t fair, it’s too hard.” 

[AD2: ENTERTAINMENT]

[SEGMENT 3] 

How You Can Help Your Teen

  • Most of us first learn to procrastinate as part of our attempts at self-empowerment and resisting authority during our early adolescence, but it’s a behavior that becomes more costly the longer it is practiced.
  • Come late adolescence, routine procrastination is no longer about rebelling against parental and other external authority. 
    • It becomes an act of rebelling against one’s own authority over one’s self and results in either taking forever to do what one tells one’s self to do or never getting it done at all. 
    • It can lay the foundation for much unnecessary adult lifestyle stress.
  • Parents often try to help teens overcome procrastination by using a system of rewards and punishments. 
    • But, thanks to the underlying reasons behind procrastination that we’ve already covered, these solutions rarely work as well as parents hope, leaving both teens and their parents confused and frustrated.
  • So, how can you help your teen to stop procrastinating, if that is something he or she wants to do?
  • Recognize the problem
    • The first step to helping your teen overcome procrastination is to recognize it. 
    • Pay attention to your child’s behaviors, especially when it comes to how they go about getting done what needs to be done. 
    • If your teen knows something needs doing but seems to avoid it altogether, they’re procrastinating. 
      • Does your teen feel guilty? 
      • Are they exhibiting any signs of anxiety, stress, or depression? 
      • Procrastination can be both a cause of and a crutch for dealing with all of these feelings. 
  • Help your teen practice time management
    • As we discussed, one of the most common reasons for procrastination is simply not understanding how long tasks will take and how to budget our time accordingly. 
    • Help your teen prioritize his or her time so that it is as productive as possible. 
    • And include time for play. 
    • This may include helping them break down large or complex projects into manageable tasks, making use of a calendar or planner, and setting objectives and goals each night for the next day. 
    • You need to make sure the goals are clear and come from your teen. 
    • Teens need to take ownership of their goals and want to achieve them in order to get the work done and not procrastinate. 
  • Look for personal difficulties
    • If helping your teen learn time management skills isn’t enough, there may be something else going on. 
    • Remember, those suffering from anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies often procrastinate as a means of coping with stress. 
    • Peer pressure, low self-esteem, divorce, a death in the family, alcohol or drug abuse, ADHD, financial problems at home, and a whole host of other issues may result in your teen’s procrastination. 
    • If your child is experiencing anything or exhibits any personality traits that may underlie their procrastination, support them and help them overcome those things, including seeking the help of a teen counselor or psychologist. 
  • Help your teen find their motivation
    • Motivation comes easily when a person is doing something that’s important to him or her. 
    • And if your teen isn’t motivated to complete a task, procrastinating that task is a likely outcome. 
    • This is the one place where rewards can be helpful. 
    • If the task a teen must complete isn’t important, work with your teen to create a reward for completing the task that your teen wants. 
  • Let your teen experience the consequence of procrastination
    • If all else fails, let your teen fail. 
    • Though it may be hard to do, allowing your teen to experience the negative outcomes of procrastinating may be the best way for him or her to learn a valuable lesson—and become more responsible. 
    • Letting your teen suffer the negative consequences of his or her inaction may be just what they need to recognize that their behavior needs to change.  
  • Each time your teen procrastinates, just begin the task a little sooner than normal. Instead of fighting the habit, start a new one. 
    • Let him or her procrastinate, only slightly less than normal by moving up the starting time. 
    • As the old habit of procrastinating is slowly worn away, your teen will be able to practice better time management, be more productive, and experience less stress and more free time. 
    • And as they do, be sure to ask them how they feel and help them reflect on their newfound peace of mind!
  • Teen procrastination can be a vicious cycle and a difficult problem to solve. 
    • However, with persistence, patience, and support, you can help your teen take ownership of both his or her successes and failures, overcome procrastination, and move forward into adulthood with self-confidence and optimism.

[TRANSITION]

[OUTRO AND CREDITS]

Transcription

08;06;38;22 – 08;06;32;17
Announcer
Insightful podcasts are informative. Host.

08;06;29;07 – 08;06;24;07
Announcer
For Insights Into.

08;06;24;07 – 08;06;23;19
Announcer
Things.

08;06;22;11 – 08;06;21;17
Announcer
A podcast.

08;06;21;17 – 08;06;21;03
Announcer
Network.

08;06;13;27 – 08;05;57;16
Announcer
Welcome to Insights into Teens, a podcast series exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison, as well as a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

08;05;49;02 – 08;05;35;12
Joseph Whalen
Welcome to insights into teens, this is episode 128 teens and procrastination. I’m your host, Joseph Whalen, and my talented and dedicated cohost Madison Whalen.

08;05;34;26 – 08;05;33;26
Madison Whalen
Hi, everyone.

08;05;33;22 – 08;05;32;21
Joseph Whalen
How are you doing today, Maddie?

08;05;31;26 – 08;05;30;06
Madison Whalen
I’m all right. How about you?

08;05;30;05 – 08;05;14;05
Joseph Whalen
I’m very tired and we’ve been very tired for quite some time now. I guess I got to fix that camera and look at that. And change the camera angle, and I didn’t bother to double check it. And shame on me.

08;05;12;28 – 08;04;55;00
Joseph Whalen
Let’s fix it that way. Let’s fix it that way. There we go, that’s much better. Yeah, I don’t like having the bars on the side. Yeah. So anyway, we uh, we almost didn’t do a podcast today or this week.

08;04;55;00 – 08;04;39;15
Joseph Whalen
I should say I was planning on getting back on regular schedule this week. We took a week off last week because we had a lot of stuff going on with marching band. And then. Which is really tired this week, a lot of stuff going on.

08;04;39;09 – 08;04;14;21
Joseph Whalen
Yeah. So we’re back, we’re off schedule today is Friday. Usually we record this podcast on Thursday, right? Yep. And we do our entertainment podcast on. Wednesday, which we haven’t done that yet, will be doing that this weekend, and we got one more week of one more band event coming up.

08;04;13;26 – 08;03;59;25
Joseph Whalen
And then after that, we shall be back on our regular schedule. Yep, so that means we’ve got to get cracking on show topics. Yeah. But today we are talking about procrastination because I’ve been procrastinating doing shownotes on other shows.

08;03;58;19 – 08;03;55;03
Madison Whalen
Yeah, this is probably one we’re all going to relate to.

08;03;55;03 – 08;03;34;25
Joseph Whalen
This is this isn’t one that even the adults can probably relate to. So, yeah, we’re going to be talking about what is procrastination and what are some of the downfalls of it? What causes procrastination specifically in teens? And then we’ll discuss all this and how parents can help their teens overcome procrastination.

08;03;34;09 – 08;03;16;24
Joseph Whalen
But before we do that, I would invite our listening and viewing audience to subscribe to the podcast. You can get audio versions of this podcast. I really wish I knew what the briefing was that tells me that there’s another upsets about the female around her somewhere because I already replaced one of them.

08;03;15;27 – 08;02;55;29
Joseph Whalen
Anyway, you can get audio versions of this podcast listed as insights into teens, and then you can get video versions of all of our podcast listed as insights into things were available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Amazon and pretty much any place you can get a podcast these days.

08;02;54;28 – 08;02;40;06
Joseph Whalen
I would also invite our audience. To give us some feedback, we are always looking for new show topics that we can research and talk about here on the show and help folks out with. You can email us or comments and insights into things dot com.

08;02;39;15 – 08;02;25;22
Joseph Whalen
You can get us on Twitter and insights on the score things we are on Facebook, which isn’t Facebook anymore. It’s meta now. I have to update the show notes for that, but you can get us at Facebook.com Slash Insights Into Things podcast.

08;02;24;17 – 08;02;08;16
Joseph Whalen
We were also on Instagram and Instagram dot com slash insights into things, or you can get links to all that and much more on our official website at WWE Dot Insights into things dot com. Are we ready to get started?

08;02;08;08 – 08;01;35;26
Joseph Whalen
Yep. All right. So what is procrastination? This definition comes to us from a website called Baron News Dot. They say procrastination is a given side effect of being faced with work at any point in your life. It’s the common behavior that leads teenagers into putting off homework, studying or any other responsibilities for as long as possible.

08;01;34;19 – 08;01;14;08
Joseph Whalen
Little bounce of procrastination here and there are perfectly normal unacceptable. But when it reaches the point of being a genuine distraction, it can become costly. Teens typically use little distractions to put off their work to the point of denial and wants time and actually reaches to get the project done.

08;01;14;08 – 08;00;49;05
Joseph Whalen
They’ve rushed to get everything accomplished in time. This constant cycle of delay and denial is one of the more mindless common mindsets that teenagers put themselves under when it comes to procrastination. Ultimately, the deadline is a major factor in how much people procrastinate a far away deadline, as well as the need to avoid work, can lead to

08;00;49;05 – 08;00;31;05
Joseph Whalen
a natural reaction of putting off the assignment. As the deadline comes closer, the sudden threat of a due date is what sets off the stress to motivate yourself to finish. It’s the deadline to get people to get the urgent sense of motivation.

08;00;30;24 – 08;00;19;29
Joseph Whalen
But when procrastination gets too far, it’s easy for the work to end up in poor quality. So let me ask you right off the bat, do you think you procrastinate?

08;00;17;28 – 08;00;01;23
Madison Whalen
Oh, my. Well. It’s kind of an interesting way how I procrastinate. Because I feel I procrastinate on everything except schoolwork.

08;00;00;18 – 08;00;00;00
Joseph Whalen
OK.

09;59;59;20 – 09;59;53;16
Madison Whalen
Which is probably the opposite of what most people would normally expect of kids who procrastinate.

09;59;53;01 – 09;59;52;05
Joseph Whalen
Explain that.

09;59;51;10 – 09;59;30;06
Madison Whalen
Like, I’m the type of person we were to win over the fact that I’m a perfectionist, right? So. The thing is. Because I’m a perfectionist, I normally prefer to get all my work done, especially considering the fact I’m in band now and a lot of the time, I don’t have a lot of time.

09;59;29;28 – 09;59;16;05
Madison Whalen
So I normally try to get my schoolwork done as soon as possible, so I don’t. So one, I don’t have to worry about it. And two, I get it done before I have band, when I actually have time to do it.

09;59;15;23 – 09;59;14;16
Joseph Whalen
My band makes sense.

09;59;13;12 – 09;59;00;14
Madison Whalen
And of course, being the perfectionist, I always know that it. It might take me a bit longer to do these kinds of assignments, so I try and get it done as much as I can. And as soon as I can write.

09;58;59;21 – 09;58;51;22
Madison Whalen
So I definitely wouldn’t say I procrastinate on schoolwork, but everything else? Pretty much. Yeah, I procrastinate.

09;58;51;06 – 09;58;28;22
Joseph Whalen
And I’ll be honest with you. You know, I procrastinate, too. Most of the stuff that I do, I procrastinate on. But it’s done kind of with a different mental mentality. I prioritize things and I’m big on lists, so I’ll have the things that I do on a routine basis.

09;58;28;07 – 09;58;04;18
Joseph Whalen
Let’s stick to work for right now. So there are certain tasks that I have to perform at work on a regular basis. And what I prefer to do is to batch tasks together. You know, if I know that I’m going to be poring through helpdesk tickets and cleaning those up and sending reminders out, I’ll do all those

09;58;04;18 – 09;57;46;20
Joseph Whalen
at one time rather than pick them off here and there. And then I’ll break that time up by going through and doing other things. So I’ll deliberately put things in little containers and then put them aside knowing I have to do them, but knowing that there’s a certain order that I’ll do them in.

09;57;45;10 – 09;57;25;00
Joseph Whalen
Where I run into problems is when that schedule of containers gets upset by an emergency that happens or somebody interrupt me or the phone call comes in. Then I find myself trying to rejigger that little system. I have to try to get everything back in order.

09;57;25;00 – 09;57;12;04
Joseph Whalen
Like everything, everything gets planned out and it doesn’t all just get done at once real quick. And now I’m sitting there twiddling my thumbs. Everything’s done. I’ll work on one container. I’ll take a break and do something else.

09;57;12;04 – 09;56;57;05
Joseph Whalen
I’ll work on the next container. I’ll take a break and do something else. And I it. It allows me that chance to mentally recharge between complex tasks. The problem is, you know, somebody will walk in my door and tell me the server is down.

09;56;57;05 – 09;56;46;10
Joseph Whalen
All of a sudden, all my containers get kicked over and I can’t work on the new vacuum dealing with an emergency. Hmm. So that’s just one of those things that I kind of have to deal with with the system that I have.

09;56;45;18 – 09;56;42;02
Joseph Whalen
So tell us about the problems with procrastination.

09;56;41;16 – 09;56;11;10
Madison Whalen
So the problems across these problems with procrastination comes from a website called Counseling to EW.com. And they said there are two types of procrastination. There’s resistance, procrastination and refusal. Procrastination resistance procrastination is delaying a task until later, which often ends up being the last minute, but but still finally getting the tasks done.

09;56;10;18 – 09;55;43;02
Madison Whalen
Refusal procrastination is putting a task on permanent hold, pretending later will never come and never completing the task. Well, many people practice the former from time to time. Both forms of procrastination can be costly. For example, the delay caused by simply putting off at one dislikes or feels fears only lengthens the time one has to worry about

09;55;43;02 – 09;55;25;27
Madison Whalen
getting the task done. Thus, procrastination creates more insight and stress than relief. The goal of procrastination may be to escape an immediate obligation, demand or need to or need to work. But there’s a trap.

09;55;25;12 – 09;55;24;20
Joseph Whalen
It’s a trap.

09;55;23;01 – 09;54;55;11
Madison Whalen
Anyway, even if the task it’s done in the end, procrastination adds to the stress and pressure of ordinary demands and causes them to take much longer than necessary. And the worst case scenario, teens and adolescents can get into what is known as catastrophic functioning, catastrophic functioning is the use of delay and avoidance to create last minute crises

09;54;55;06 – 09;54;39;07
Madison Whalen
in order to motivate oneself to do whatever it is that must be done. In short, creating stress to enable accomplishment and when catastrophic functioning becomes routine as comfort, fatigue, burnout and even breakdown are likely to follow.

09;54;38;22 – 09;54;22;00
Joseph Whalen
And that’s a very good point is that when you get into that point where everything’s a crisis mode, it gets brutally exhausting because you’re always doing some kind of fire drill and you can’t get into that routine that you need to get into where you can.

09;54;21;01 – 09;54;01;13
Joseph Whalen
Conserve your energy and work smartly. So that that’s one of the biggest problems with procrastination, and I find that I run into that around the house, normally around the house, if there’s something that needs to get done like I got a ups, it’s sitting under the desk here, then I have to replace the battery on and put

09;54;01;13 – 09;53;47;03
Joseph Whalen
it back in the place. I’m dreading having to do that because I’m going to have to completely rewire the area that I have to work and I got to crawl around on the floor and it’s, you know, exhausting and it’s a pain in the butt to do.

09;53;47;03 – 09;53;31;23
Joseph Whalen
And it’s one of those things that I just it’s an unpleasant task that I don’t want to do. So it’s one of those things that I will naturally put off as long as possible. Now we’re sitting here now in the studio and one of the other groups is beeping.

09;53;31;00 – 09;53;09;19
Joseph Whalen
So that’s going to be my crisis that other groups over. There’s probably beeping to let me know that the battery’s probably getting ready to go. So instead of me being smart and putting the replacement battery in the one that I have here and replacing the one that’s beeping, I’ll wait until that one dies, then that whole side

09;53;09;19 – 09;52;57;16
Joseph Whalen
of the studio is going to go out. Then it’s going to be a crisis for me to do the work and get it done. That’s with the motivation that I would have to have at that point. And it’s not the smartest thing to do.

09;52;57;05 – 09;52;38;20
Joseph Whalen
Yeah, but. Knowing and knowing your limitations, I think, is an important thing in this case here, I guess. So I think we’ve explored that about as far as we’re going to get on this subject here. Let’s take a quick break.

09;52;38;19 – 09;52;34;05
Joseph Whalen
We’ll come back and we’ll talk about what causes procrastination.

09;52;33;26 – 09;52;33;16
Madison Whalen
All right.

09;52;24;18 – 09;51;59;02
Joseph Whalen
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09;51;58;00 – 09;51;33;11
Joseph Whalen
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09;51;33;05 – 09;51;31;26
Joseph Whalen
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09;51;31;26 – 09;51;30;04
Joseph Whalen
And fire dot com.

09;51;22;27 – 09;51;03;00
Joseph Whalen
Welcome back to insights into teens today. We are talking procrastination, and considering this is episode 128, I think we’ve procrastinated long enough. So what causes procrastination? Procrastination is not a behavior that’s limited to teenagers. I’m a great example of that.

09;51;03;00 – 09;50;48;01
Joseph Whalen
I just admitted that in the last segment. Yeah. But why do both teens and adults procrastinate? So here’s a few common examples of why we all procrastinate. We often delayed tasks when we don’t understand how long they take.

09;50;47;21 – 09;50;26;08
Joseph Whalen
I’m guilty of that. You know, I’ll start on the task and, you know, realize that it’s going to take a lot longer than originally thought and understand the mistake that I mean. Those who suffer from anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies, which we talked about last week, often procrastinate as a means of coping with stress.

09;50;25;10 – 09;50;04;13
Joseph Whalen
A simple lack of motivation to start a task and being either unaware of or not caring about the consequences of inaction can lead to procrastination. Most parents of teens are all too aware of their teen’s increased attempts to achieve self-empowerment by resisting parental authority.

09;50;03;12 – 09;49;48;24
Joseph Whalen
These efforts to resist parental authority take both active and passive form act of being argumentative and passive being a delaying action. What are some of the underlying reasons for procrastination?

09;49;48;12 – 09;49;33;27
Madison Whalen
So psychologists suggest that the reasons for procrastination stem from four major underlying reasons, which include the following that come from site a website called Psychology Today.com, and the first we have is anger.

09;49;33;05 – 09;49;32;09
Joseph Whalen
Folks mash.

09;49;30;27 – 09;49;10;22
Madison Whalen
The most common cause of procrastination is anger. Teens who resent the authority of parents and teachers can get even by delaying work or making a halfhearted effort. For adolescents who feel powerless. Open rebellion is not an option because the consequences would be too great and deep down.

09;49;10;22 – 09;48;49;20
Madison Whalen
These teens want to succeed. This form of revenge is manipulative and passive aggressive, but also highly effective because it takes authorities figures power away and drives them crazy. Never mind that it is also self-sabotaging. A teen typically cares more about their I thought there.

09;48;48;18 – 09;48;38;08
Madison Whalen
Autonomy, autonomy than their grades. In essence, the opt out is saying you can’t tell me what to do. I will work. I will work when I’m getting ready.

09;48;36;29 – 09;48;19;15
Joseph Whalen
The next we talk about is self-doubt. Oftentimes, beneath the anger and resentment is an individual consumed with self-doubt. Kids don’t often start out feeling hopeless. It takes years of questioning their own skills, wondering whether they have what it takes.

09;48;18;18 – 09;47;57;04
Joseph Whalen
This is especially true of kids who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or learning disabilities. Opt outs often did better in school when they were younger. However, when school became more challenging, as it always does. Rather than step up to the effort, they took their foot off the gas pedal.

09;47;56;11 – 09;47;42;19
Joseph Whalen
This is because they thought of school stop being easy. It meant they were not smart enough. Trying was never an option because it involved the possibility of failing and then uncovering their perceived inadequacy.

09;47;41;24 – 09;47;23;16
Madison Whalen
Playing the victim. Even though the procrastinator is imprisoned in a jail of their own, making of their own making, they see themselves as the victim of who of those who whose who set expectations and call the shots. That was a harsh sentence.

09;47;22;20 – 09;47;06;03
Madison Whalen
It was perfectly fine when I was first reading it, but now it isn’t. Anyway, they feel trapped in a no win situation. Doing their work brings on uncomfortable feelings, but so does not doing it. Though not though, just not now.

09;47;05;22 – 09;46;43;28
Madison Whalen
The victim approaches homework, feeling that they have to do it, never that they want to. The pattern goes something like this. Your child dislikes chemistry, but it’s hanging over his or her head and freaks them out. Since they have they haven’t acquired skills in it.

09;46;43;18 – 09;46;26;28
Madison Whalen
They can’t do the assignments. So why try? Also, there’s a test coming up and he or she must do well on it, except they don’t. They know they can’t. Suddenly, everything seems terribly unfair. The classes too hard and the teacher angers them.

09;46;26;16 – 09;46;23;25
Madison Whalen
It goes too fast. He doesn’t like me.

09;46;23;17 – 09;46;21;26
Joseph Whalen
Hey, that was a good one, voice.

09;46;21;25 – 09;46;21;04
Madison Whalen
Thank you.

09;46;21;00 – 09;46;04;16
Joseph Whalen
And your defense? It’s difficult to read this the way you are, because I don’t write these to be gender neutral and you in your infinite wisdom want to portray them as gender neutral. So you’re actually changing the script on the fly in your head.

09;46;04;16 – 09;46;03;00
Joseph Whalen
So I give you total props for that.

09;46;02;22 – 09;45;54;26
Madison Whalen
Thank you. Especially when like you have like hasn’t and how it doesn’t work with theirs. So I’m like, Ah.

09;45;54;18 – 09;45;48;25
Joseph Whalen
I know you have you. You did a good job on that one. Your your English teacher would be proud of you.

09;45;48;14 – 09;45;47;23
Madison Whalen
Thank you.

09;45;45;22 – 09;45;41;18
Joseph Whalen
So the next thing that we talk about is perfectionism, which we talked about.

09;45;41;08 – 09;45;40;00
Madison Whalen
That would make a good podcast.

09;45;40;00 – 09;45;23;13
Joseph Whalen
And we talked about that in our last podcast. A perfectionist may postpone starting a project because he feels overwhelmed by the sheer amount of energy it will take to do something perfectly. I don’t feel obliged to make a gender neutral, just going to read it the way it’s written.

09;45;23;08 – 09;45;22;15
Madison Whalen
OK, sure.

09;45;21;27 – 09;45;02;08
Joseph Whalen
They will refer to words. They will. They will refer to work with words like what must have to and should. You probably don’t think of your teen as a perfectionist, if anything, they’re the opposite. However, most perfectionists suffer from deep feelings of inadequacy.

09;45;01;06 – 09;44;54;00
Joseph Whalen
Their desires to make everything absolutely perfect may mask problems of self-esteem and self-confidence.

09;44;53;24 – 09;44;51;25
Madison Whalen
And you’re saying you’re not turning your gender.

09;44;51;25 – 09;44;26;08
Joseph Whalen
Neutral, right? Well, I’m trying a range. OK, you’re rubbing off on me. High standards are great. They give us something to aim for. Perfectionism takes hold when the failure to meet these expectations becomes unacceptable. Perfectionists who procrastinate set unrealistic expectations and then avoid work to rid themselves of the anxiety it causes.

09;44;25;00 – 09;43;59;03
Joseph Whalen
Though many adults procrastinate for some teens, it’s a sign of immaturity. Getting down to work involves postponing pleasure until work is done and being able to tolerate the anxiety and frustration that accompanies learning something new. You can hear your teen’s low frustration tolerance when they say things like this isn’t fair or it’s too hard.

09;43;59;01 – 09;43;57;16
Joseph Whalen
I was my varney whiny voice.

09;43;57;04 – 09;43;53;28
Madison Whalen
And could be whiny here, but it’s not too bad.

09;43;53;23 – 09;43;40;06
Joseph Whalen
Not to whine more. That’s all. So let’s just take a real quick second to look at some of these underlying reasons. Do you think any of these are what motivates you to procrastinate?

09;43;39;18 – 09;43;21;17
Madison Whalen
Well, I definitely don’t think I would relate to anger because I really don’t go against anyone. I’m never really frustrated with the authority that people have over me. OK, probably not. That self doubt is probably. one of the ones I relate to more.

09;43;20;05 – 09;43;08;21
Madison Whalen
Take, for instance, my art. That is definitely something I procrastinate on and the assignment for and the Super Bowl months, it was great because I’m pretty sure we mentioned on the podcast.

09;43;08;20 – 09;42;55;06
Joseph Whalen
Well, you know, we have a, you know, every year the podcast does a holiday special and this holiday special, we’re going to be treated with custom artwork that Madison is going to be doing if she stops procrastinating and actually gets it done.

09;42;55;05 – 09;42;32;22
Madison Whalen
OK, leave would be. Now I can hopefully explain why I feel like procrastinating. So. The Grinches style is what we’re going to be doing, and I’m kind of trying to boost my art somewhat off of that. Dr. Seuss style is very different from my own concern, the fact it’s a lot more cartoony.

09;42;32;22 – 09;42;15;25
Madison Whalen
The there are a lot less colors within and overall it’s a lot more busy than I would normally have my own drawings because I know my doll self-portraits, just characters, just stuff like that, right? So I honestly got a lot of limitations for this.

09;42;15;08 – 09;41;55;01
Madison Whalen
Colors was the main one, but honestly, that one I can kind of fix. But having to kind of work some of the caricatures in was definitely going to be a challenge. For one, there are a lot of full body images, and I’m normally not used to making full body images before, so that was something I kind of

09;41;55;01 – 09;41;37;15
Madison Whalen
had to get used to and try doing right. Also drawing backgrounds, I don’t really draw backgrounds all that much, so that’s a new challenge. But the good thing is, most of the backgrounds are kind of, well, Dr. Seuss doesn’t really draw too many backgrounds.

09;41;37;15 – 09;41;35;03
Joseph Whalen
And they’re usually not terribly detailed.

09;41;35;00 – 09;41;17;24
Madison Whalen
Yeah. So that was at least something I could avoid. But some specific examples were like a side portrait of the one image that I was going to do when we’re basically were just looking down. I’ve never drawn a saw a side portrait before.

09;41;17;24 – 09;41;02;18
Madison Whalen
I’ve only ever drawn people looking front. So it’s kind of interesting to kind of draw that, and that was actually kind of easy. But the one I’m holding off now is kind of a very busy image is one of the images of like all the who’s together.

09;41;02;17 – 09;41;01;18
Joseph Whalen
The town shot.

09;41;01;13 – 09;40;42;09
Madison Whalen
Yeah, well, it’s not really a town shot. It’s just like them all playing with these weird toys because Dr. Seuss makes up a lot of weird toys in order to, you know, fit his rhymes. And I’m only really used to drawing characters, and it’s going to be kind of hard to draw like all these weird like toys

09;40;42;09 – 09;40;38;24
Madison Whalen
and such while still having to draw the characters.

09;40;37;18 – 09;40;30;26
Joseph Whalen
Well, let me let me ask you this. You’ve you’ve not procrastinated on the whole project. You’ve made progress on it.

09;40;30;22 – 09;40;30;09
Madison Whalen
Yeah.

09;40;29;03 – 09;40;14;07
Joseph Whalen
In in doing what you’ve done so far and being challenged to do what you’ve done. Has it helped you to expand as an artist and get better? Or has it just been so challenging that you’re just gritting your teeth to get through it?

09;40;13;23 – 09;39;56;24
Madison Whalen
Honestly, it really has helped me. For one, I’m gotten slightly more comfortable with full body images now, which I never thought would be able to do because I never usually like drawing legs, and now I feel like I might be able to draw legs more often.

09;39;56;00 – 09;39;34;23
Madison Whalen
Backgrounds I’ve started getting slightly better at them because I have tried using background and they haven’t really gone all that well. Let’s see what else. Oh yeah, the same portrait. I actually really like how it came out. It’s like the first ever time I even tried that, and I honestly think it looks really good and like is

09;39;34;17 – 09;39;30;20
Madison Whalen
one of my favorite drawings right now because it just looks really good.

09;39;30;19 – 09;39;21;16
Joseph Whalen
So has the success that you found in the challenges that you’ve tackled helped you to be less likely to procrastinate on the rest of the project?

09;39;21;00 – 09;38;58;26
Madison Whalen
I mean, maybe I’m still, you know, procrastinating on it, but I started gaining, you know, the new skills. And I definitely think if I do have to draw like more full body stuff from white backgrounds or like more side portraits, I never been more confident in myself to be a to feel I could be able to draw

09;38;58;26 – 09;38;58;08
Madison Whalen
it well.

09;38;58;08 – 09;38;41;25
Joseph Whalen
And that makes perfect sense of the success that you’ve run into has helped to improve that level of confidence and really overcome some of that self-doubt. So. So this stuff does work. Wow. We’re not just over here making it up.

09;38;41;17 – 09;38;41;05
Joseph Whalen
Yeah.

09;38;40;12 – 09;38;34;11
Madison Whalen
Playing the victim, I don’t think I’ve ever really done that. I don’t really think playing them.

09;38;34;10 – 09;38;32;29
Joseph Whalen
You’re not much of a victim.

09;38;32;21 – 09;38;30;04
Madison Whalen
Yeah, yeah. Perfectionism.

09;38;28;10 – 09;38;26;11
Joseph Whalen
Yeah, I think we hit the nail on the head on that one.

09;38;25;28 – 09;38;25;10
Madison Whalen
Yeah.

09;38;24;26 – 09;38;11;03
Joseph Whalen
And I think your self-doubt plays into your perfectionism, too. We kind of talked about that in the last podcast. Yeah. So I think if we can, we seem to be making progress on the self-doubt, one with successes, little little bits of success here and there.

09;38;10;11 – 09;37;51;18
Joseph Whalen
And I think with that, that’ll lead into your ability to address the perfectionism side of things. Yeah. So and I’m sure we’ll be able to overcome a lot of what we’re talking about here. So let’s take our last break and then we’ll come back and talk about how to help your team.

09;37;42;28 – 09;37;21;07
Announcer
Insights into entertainment, a podcast series taking a deeper look into entertainment and media. Are husband and wife, team of pop culture fanatics are exploring all things for music and movies to television and fandom. We’ll look at the interesting and obscure entertainment news of the week.

09;37;19;00 – 09;37;00;29
Announcer
We’ll talk about theme park and pop culture news. We’ll give you the latest and greatest on pop culture convention. We’ll give you a deep dove into Disney, Star Wars and much more. Check out our video episodes at youtube.com.

09;37;00;29 – 09;36;48;17
Announcer
Backslash insights into things are audio episodes and podcast insights into entertainment dot com or check us out on the web at insights into things dot com.

09;36;41;07 – 09;36;29;01
Madison Whalen
Welcome back to insights in the teens today. We’re talking about teens and procrastination, I almost said perfectionism. I apologize. Luckily, I had enough sense to not.

09;36;28;26 – 09;36;28;02
Joseph Whalen
Good for you.

09;36;27;21 – 09;36;08;07
Madison Whalen
Anyway. Now we’re going to be looking at how to help your teen with procrastination. Most of us first learned to procrastinate as a part of our attempts at self-empowerment and resisting authority during our early our early adolescence. What is a behavior that becomes more costly the longer it is practiced?

09;36;07;04 – 09;35;47;07
Madison Whalen
Come late, adolescence, routine procrastination is no longer about rebelling against parental and other external authority. It becomes an act of rebelling against one’s own authority over one’s one’s self and results in either taking forever to do what one tells oneself to do or never getting it done at all.

09;35;46;02 – 09;35;41;19
Madison Whalen
You can lay the foundation for much unnecessary adult lifestyle stress.

09;35;40;24 – 09;35;20;20
Joseph Whalen
Parents often trying to help teens overcome procrastination by using a system of rewards and punishment. But thanks to the underlying reasons behind procrastination that we’ve already covered, these solutions rarely work as well as parents hope, leaving both teens and parents confused and frustrated.

09;35;19;27 – 09;34;57;20
Joseph Whalen
So how can you help your teen to stop procrastinating if that’s something he or she wants to do? Well, the first step is to recognize the problem. So you help your team overcome procrastination by recognizing it, obviously. So pay attention to your teen’s behaviors, especially when it comes to how they go about getting done, what needs to

09;34;57;20 – 09;34;35;25
Joseph Whalen
be done. If your teen knows something needs doing, but seems to avoid it altogether, they’re procrastinating. Does your teen feel guilty? Are they exhibiting any signs of anxiety, stress or depression? Procrastination can be both a cause of and a crutch for dealing with all of these feelings.

09;34;35;01 – 09;34;11;14
Madison Whalen
Help your teen practice time management. As we discussed, one of the most common reasons for procrastination is simply not understanding how long tasks will take and how to budget our time accordingly. How have you to prioritize his or her time so that it is apparent that it is as productive as possible and include time for play?

09;34;11;00 – 09;33;53;27
Madison Whalen
This may include helping them break down large or complex or complex projects into manageable tasks, making use of a calendar or planner, and setting objectives as goals each night for the next day. You need to make sure the goals are clear and come from your teen.

09;33;53;07 – 09;33;44;21
Madison Whalen
Teens need to take ownership of their goals and want to achieve them in order to get to the work done and not procrastinate.

09;33;43;22 – 09;33;23;25
Joseph Whalen
Look for personal difficulties if helping your teen learn time management skills isn’t enough. There may be something else going on. Remember, those suffering from anxiety and perfectionistic tendencies often procrastinate as a means of coping with stress. Peer pressure.

09;33;23;21 – 09;32;55;18
Joseph Whalen
Low self-esteem. Divorce. A death in the family. Alcohol or drug abuse. ADHD. Financial problems at home. And a whole host of other issues may result in your teen’s procrastination. If your child is experiencing anything or exhibits any personality traits that may underlie their procrastination, support them and help them overcome those things, including seeking the help of a

09;32;55;18 – 09;32;53;12
Joseph Whalen
teen counselor or a psychologist.

09;32;52;14 – 09;32;29;12
Madison Whalen
Help your teen find their motivation. Motivation comes easily when a person is doing something that’s important to him or her. And if your teen isn’t motivated to complete a task, procrastinating, procrastinating, that task is a likely outcome. This is the one place where rewards can be helpful if the task a team must complete is an important work

09;32;29;12 – 09;32;25;23
Madison Whalen
with their team to create a reward for completing the task that once.

09;32;24;27 – 09;32;02;01
Joseph Whalen
Let your team experience the consequence of procrastination, if all else fails, let your team fail. Now that sounds counterintuitive. I know, though it may be hard to do, allowing your team to experience the negative outcomes of procrastinating. Maybe the best way for him or her to learn a valuable lesson and become more responsible.

09;32;01;02 – 09;31;50;02
Joseph Whalen
Letting your teens suffer the negative consequences of his or her inaction may be just what they need to recognize that they’re behind what their behavior is and it needs to change.

09;31;49;13 – 09;31;29;05
Madison Whalen
Each time Mateen procrastinate, just begin the task a little sooner than normal. Instead of fighting the habit, start a new one. Let him or her procrastinate only slightly less than normal by moving up to this. By moving up the starting time as the old habit of procrastination is slowly worn away, your team will be able to practice

09;31;29;05 – 09;31;13;04
Madison Whalen
better time management, be more productive and experience less stress and more free time. And as they do. Be sure to ask them how they feel and help them reflect on their new found peace of mind, which is actually something I’ve never really heard of doing.

09;31;13;04 – 09;31;11;17
Madison Whalen
And it actually sounds kind of interesting.

09;31;11;11 – 09;30;54;20
Joseph Whalen
They go, See, this stuff does work. Team procrastination give me a vicious cycle and a difficult problem to solve. However, with persistence, patience and support, you can help your team take ownership of both his or her successes and failures.

09;30;54;04 – 09;30;41;20
Joseph Whalen
Overcome procrastination and move forward into adulthood with self-confidence and optimism. So what do you think works best for you to overcome your procrastination?

09;30;40;08 – 09;30;22;10
Madison Whalen
Let’s see. I guess a lot of the time that’s kind of just finding my motivation. That’s kind of how I do with a lot of my creative stuff, like with the drawings. A lot of the times it kind of takes me on it.

09;30;22;10 – 09;30;05;17
Madison Whalen
It kind of takes me a minute to like, motivate myself to actually want to do the drawings. Like, there’s like some spark in me that goes off like, Oh, hey, maybe I should be getting this done. Like, I have ideas or something like that or like, this is how I want to represent this.

09;30;05;17 – 09;29;56;22
Madison Whalen
Or like I come up with an idea, and that’s kind of what my motivation would be. Thus, that motivates me to get my idea and basically complete it.

09;29;56;12 – 09;29;50;10
Joseph Whalen
So your solution really is a self-initiated form of motivation.

09;29;50;10 – 09;29;48;26
Madison Whalen
Then most of the time you.

09;29;48;12 – 09;29;32;10
Joseph Whalen
Are, there any external forces that motivate you as a deadline? Is it mommy or daddy breathing down your neck about it? Is it your teachers? What what? From an external perspective tends to motivate you to get things done.

09;29;31;28 – 09;29;15;25
Madison Whalen
Well, deadlines are definitely good motivators for me. You guys breathing down my neck is also a pretty good motivator because like, you know, whenever you say, I probably should be doing something that like, OK, you know, maybe I should get this thing done.

09;29;15;01 – 09;29;03;06
Joseph Whalen
But do they serve? Kind of. Are they more reminders or are they motivators to you? They almost sound more like there are reminders. People getting angry and angrier.

09;29;03;00 – 09;28;52;05
Madison Whalen
Yeah. Well, all the time, are you? They may be reminders, but I tend to use them as motivators for the most part.

09;28;51;21 – 09;28;51;07
Joseph Whalen
OK.

09;28;50;24 – 09;28;36;23
Madison Whalen
Like Deadline, that’s not. That is a reminder that I need to get it done. But knowing that I need to get it done, I was that drawer. I use that drive to motivate me in order to get it done so that I can meet that deadline.

09;28;35;29 – 09;28;33;08
Joseph Whalen
OK, that makes sense. Whatever works.

09;28;33;05 – 09;28;24;15
Madison Whalen
You guys breathing down my neck about something is a reminder that I should probably get that thing done because I don’t want be people annoying me about it.

09;28;24;06 – 09;28;19;09
Joseph Whalen
I see me being annoying is constructive. I know it.

09;28;19;08 – 09;28;16;11
Madison Whalen
Sure, we’ll go with that. Yeah.

09;28;15;29 – 09;27;56;19
Joseph Whalen
Yeah, well, you know, whatever it takes to get it done right? You know, parents can help their kids out with this, with calendars, with subtle reminders, with providing the technology needed to track things. By helping you out. You know, I love doing projects with you.

09;27;56;17 – 09;27;44;27
Joseph Whalen
You get school projects and stuff. I like doing that and maybe that’s a good motivator. Anything, you know? But but I think it’s one of those things that parents kind of have to instill that in their in their kids at an early age.

09;27;44;04 – 09;27;35;28
Joseph Whalen
So I think that was about it. We’ll take a quick break. We’ll come back, we’ll get your closing remarks and finish up the business of the podcast.

09;27;35;23 – 09;27;35;11
Madison Whalen
All right.

09;27;35;01 – 09;27;34;09
Joseph Whalen
Be right back.

09;27;27;19 – 09;27;03;11
Madison Whalen
All right. So to everyone out there, I just want to say that procrastination is entirely normal. I’m pretty sure most people go through it, and although it is definitely a very annoying problem to have to deal with, it can be fixed like most problems as long as you’re able to get the drive in order to help you

09;27;03;11 – 09;26;47;29
Madison Whalen
succeed. Whatever it may be, I definitely would recommend finding some type of motivate motivation or find some way in order to help you stop procrastinating. And if you do procrastinate once in a while, that’s totally fine as long as you don’t make a habit out of it.

09;26;47;17 – 09;26;46;20
Madison Whalen
You should be fine.

09;26;46;09 – 09;26;26;25
Joseph Whalen
All right. Sage advice, as always, and I’m cutting my head off there now. Look at that. What’s going on with that? Like, it keeps moving around. It’s weird. Anyway, I think that was it. Before we do go, I would once again invite our listening and viewing audience to subscribe to the podcast.

09;26;26;05 – 09;26;05;21
Joseph Whalen
Audio versions of the podcast can be found listed as insights into teens. VIDEO versions of the podcasts are listed as insights into things were available on Pandora, Castro, Stitcher, Pod Beam, Buzz Sprout, Amazon Music and pretty much any place you can get a podcast these days.

09;26;04;25 – 09;25;49;29
Joseph Whalen
I would also invite you to give us your feedback. We are looking for show suggestions, feedback on how we’re doing. You can email us at comments and insights into things dot com. You can hit us on Twitter at its sites.

09;25;49;29 – 09;25;26;11
Joseph Whalen
Underscore Things on Facebook at Facebook Dot Com Slash Insights Into Things podcast on Instagram and Instagram dot com slash insights in the Things We Do stream five days a week on Twitch, Twitch Dot TV’s slash insights into things where you can get us on our official website and insights into things dot com and you.

09;25;26;01 – 09;25;16;09
Madison Whalen
And don’t forget to check out our other two podcast insights and entertainment hosted by you and Mommy, and then say Dinner Tomorrow, our monthly podcast hosted by you and my brother, Sam.

09;25;16;05 – 09;25;14;12
Joseph Whalen
Well done. That said, no one in the.

09;25;14;12 – 09;25;13;00
Madison Whalen
Books by everyone.

09;25;12;29 – 09;25;12;13
Joseph Whalen
By.

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