Insights Into Teens: Episode 39 “Leadership”

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Speaker 1: 00:05 Insightful podcast by informative insights, a podcast network.

Speaker 3: 00:30 Welcome to insights into teens, a podcast series, exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison, Whalen, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

Speaker 2: 00:54

Speaker 4: 00:54 Welcome to insights into teens. This is episode 39 leadership. I’m your host, Joseph Waylon

Speaker 5: 01:05 And my

Speaker 4: 01:07 Talented and insightful cohost, Madison Waylon Hy-Vee one. There you go. On the don’t lose debate the birthday hat there. So a this week we are talking about leadership, but we do have a significant development from last week and that is we are now actually doing insights into teens because you are now a teenager. So you celebrated a birthday this week. You are officially 13 years old. We have a couple of our balloon decorations. You have your happy birthday hat and kind of decorated the set up for your birthday this week. So we’ll go on and we’re going to go down. We’re going to talk about what does it mean to be a leader what leadership is. Then we’ll talk about what defines a great leader, and then we’ll talk about how to teach kids how to be leaders and what parents can do to help teach kids to be leaders. Anything else before we start?

Speaker 4: 02:19 Unless you want to talk about what the background was in the beginning was, I think we’re good. And loose set piece. We have, we have our new star Wars arcade game in the studio here now. So you may occasionally hear some star Wars music play. Unfortunately we can’t, we don’t know if it came out to show it, but we don’t know. So maybe next week, maybe. So shall we get started with what does it mean to be a leader? Yes, we show. All right.

Speaker 4: 02:51 So there wasn’t really a clear definition of from any one site that I looked at for this. This is sort of a can clump of several sites and it’s more of a general idea of what being a leader is. Being a leader, being a good leader is a valuable skill no matter who you are, whether you’re in school or the workplace, but not everyone has innate leadership qualities. That’s why it’s important to teach kids early, how to develop the skills to be a good leader. Being a leader will help kids build confidence and succeed in activities like group projects, team sports, clubs, et cetera. These skills will only continue to benefit them as they grow older. So let me ask you, you know, the, the burning question, do you consider yourself a Leer?

Speaker 4: 03:47 Might want to lower your mic a little channel while you answered the question.

Speaker 7: 03:52 Alrighty. So if I had to say if I was a leader, I would definitely say I can probably have the qualities for being a leader.

Speaker 4: 04:04 Okay. All right. Well that’s fair enough.

Speaker 7: 04:07 I mean like it was, it, I mean, I know I should have my own opinion on whether I’m a leader or not, but I really just think it’s the opinion of anyone who really looks at me and knows me and sees how I act and stuff.

Speaker 4: 04:23 That’s a very good point. It is about actions. It’s, it’s not so much about, you know, words the leadership is defined by how you act, how you treat others, how you present yourself. So it’s, it really is about actions. Yeah. So let’s take a look at what leadership is. So this information comes to us from a website called game learn.com and it describes certain characteristics that most if not all leaders tend to have. The first is vision. Leading means to have a vision and sharing it with others. So when you think about how you interact with your peers at school or you know, when you’re out playing with them and stuff like that, do you feel that you convey a vision of, of what things, how things should be or where the direction that you’re going, that type of thing to your peers?

Speaker 7: 05:26 Well, I’m pretty sure we’ve covered in earlier podcast. I’ve a pretty vivid imagination and I’m also quite organized. So imagination with organization puts together basically what I can, what we may consider right now, visions of what should be done. And I can definitely say I’ve done that before. And whenever me and my friends are trying to figure out what we’re supposed to do, I always offer up some suggestions.

Speaker 4: 05:54 That’s a very good point. I like that example. The next one is motivation. A leader knows how to motivate better than anyone else and it is one of the main functions as people managers. Now you’ve probably not been in a position where you’ve had to manage others unless their school projects and you’re in charge of a project. But do you feel that you motivate other people? Well

Speaker 7: 06:22 Yeah, like whenever I learned that my friends are having troubles, I always, and I always make sure to encourage them that they can still do it as long as they put in the extra effort and when they do that they can sit, they can still succeed.

Speaker 4: 06:39 That’s good. A good example. The next trait that they list here is service or serving the leader. Is that the service of the team and not the other way around. Do you feel that when you’re in a situation where you’re perceived as a leader that you’re providing a service to others or do you feel like they’re beholden to you?

Speaker 8: 07:03 I Def,

Speaker 7: 07:04 I definitely think I can provide to them. Like in group projects, whenever we’re told to do them, I always make sure to provide to the team. We actually split up the different jobs and I provide from one job and the other people provide from the other.

Speaker 4: 07:21 That’s a good point. The next topic or next trait that they want to talk about here is empathy. So one of the basic qualities of any leader seeking success is precise. Precisely. I’m not, I think I may have made a mistake on my notes here. They basically empathy is the, the is emotional intelligence. It’s the ability that makes leaders put themselves in place of others, understand their concerns and solve those problems. Do you feel as an individual, and we don’t even have to go from a leadership standpoint, but as an individual, do you feel that you can empathize with others? Can you put yourself in other people’s shoes?

Speaker 8: 08:10 Well

Speaker 7: 08:11 I’ll give an example for this form. So my friend Mariah, whenever we used to talk to each other and she ever had problems, I always made sure to listen to her and try to put myself in her shoes and see if I could find a solution to the problem based on the evidence she gave me with how her feeling with her, letting out her feelings and stuff like that.

Speaker 4: 08:33 That’s a very good example of empathy. We’ve touched on this one before, but creativity, good leaders are able to create an environment that will encourage all the members of their team to develop their skills and imagination so that they can contribute to the common objective and vision of the team. You clearly are creative. Do you think you, that creativity translates into leadership skills as well?

Speaker 7: 08:59 I definitely think you can do that. Like, as I said, beef, as I said before with the visions I can put my creative aspects into it and just picture a scenario. And after telling my friends to it, we can figure out what we’re doing. Like with my creative aspect, we can figure out what we want to do and how we can do it.

Speaker 4: 09:22 Okay. That works. Thoroughness, a good leader sets the bar high for their people because they want to reach the goals and bring the best out of their teams. Only a demanding leader will achieve great results. Do you think you’re demanding of others?

Speaker 7: 09:43 Not really. I mean, I’m not like, I don’t think I’m very demanding, like always telling people to do. Everything I am more of, I’m throwing out suggestions, see if they see if they want to do it and if they’re having other things I threw out like suggestions on what they could do to solve a problem.

Speaker 4: 10:11 But when you’re the working in a group for a group project or something like that, and you’ve said that you divide up the group project responsibilities among the team members, do you hold the others accountable? Do you push them to make sure that their portion is done or do you sort of not counsel them and if they don’t do it, you do it for them?

Speaker 7: 10:31 Well, I just made sure that as long as they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing, I won’t like beyond them harshly. I would be doing my part and I would make sure that while I was doing my part, they were doing theirs and that way we could and I would make sure to tell them that if we all did our part, we would definitely get a high grade on our project.

Speaker 4: 10:56 Okay. So you’re, you’re firm but fair, we’ll say. Yeah. Managing the leader must be at the forefront to lead and guide their team throughout the whole process until the goal is reached. Leaders also know when to step back and make their team take the initiative. In this way, the team gets the chance to develop both personally and professionally. Pure management focuses on the tasks. Real leadership focuses on the people. So when you are running these groups, are you focusing on the tasks? Other people?

Speaker 7: 11:36 Well we’ll go back to the school example. I would definitely make sure that we all know what we’re supposed to be doing and I’d make sure that as long as we got the test done, we would be able to accomplish it.

Speaker 4: 11:53 Okay. So it sounds like you’re focusing kind of on the tasks at that point in time.

Speaker 7: 11:58 Yeah, but I also let like the others have their own ideas and that leads us into how we’re going to do the tasks. Like with women, our own ideas. We all combined it with logic and how we want to do the project need organization and eventually we complete the task.

Speaker 4: 12:16 Okay. Well that sounds good. Team building. True leadership is about working in a team to reach a common goal. People management is one of the most difficult tasks faced by leaders. Thanks to the positive attitude. Essential in good leaders and the trust in their work mates. People get better results. Team aware, leaders take responsibility when something is wrong and reward the group after a job well done. Do you own up to your mistakes when you make them?

Speaker 7: 12:51 Yes. And even though I do, I take my, I take it a little too far for me. Like I just, I just have a hard time like, except that I don’t have a hard time knowing I’m saying I made a mistake. I have a hard time figuring out how I, the way I won’t make the mistake again. We’ve talked about that before. Yeah.

Speaker 4: 13:13 Yeah. And that makes sense. Now when your, when your team succeeds, are you the type of person who just assumes that they should succeed or do you Pat them on the back for our job? Well done.

Speaker 7: 13:24 I always Pat them on the back like good job, we got it done and then we can move on to the next thing. Like I always make sure to give them some extra cool, some good, some credit.

Speaker 4: 13:34 Okay. Taking risks. The leader is the one responsible for taking the risks that others are not willing to take. They are confident enough to make a decision and if they make a mistake, their leader must have the carriage to rectify, assume their guilt and take the right path without blaming it on the team. Do you consider yourself a risk taker in the, in that respect?

Speaker 7: 14:01 I will admit when I’m wrong I don’t want you to think that I am afraid of admitting when I’m wrong. I’m not, I’m afraid of failing and I’m pretty sure that’s a completely different thing. Like I can admit to my failures, but I hate making, but I hate making them.

Speaker 4: 14:19 Okay. But do you take risks? Like are you the type of person who plays it safe or are you willing to go out on a limb and do something that might be a little bit more risky than usual?

Speaker 7: 14:33 I mean, in certain respects, like if someone didn’t want to, if some, if one member of the team didn’t want to do something, I would definitely own up and do it. But like I’ve never really done anything risky. I mean, nothing, nothing I really ever did was risks that I’ve ever done. What’s risky. But I will, like whenever a group can’t decide on something or they have a certain job and no one wants to do it, I’ll always own up to it. I’ll always own up to going there as well.

Speaker 4: 15:06 So the last one that we have in this list is improving. True leadership seeks continuous improvement. Leaders have the ability to turn the people in their teams into stars, people who have improved and develop their skills through the influence of their leader. So you’re willing to figure out, even though it may be difficult sometimes, how to learn from your mistakes are you, are you helpful with others in teaching them how to improve as well?

Speaker 7: 15:38 I mean, yes. Like even though I’m not good with handling my own mistakes, like I take it way too all of myself. I would make sure that my other team members don’t take, don’t do what I do because other than we’d just be panicking the entire time and no one wants to be like me. So I always make sure that to tell them they made a mistake, but they can fix it and that there’s always room for improvement.

Speaker 4: 16:04 Okay. Good answer. So when we come back, we’ll talk about what defines a great leader.

Speaker 4: 16:18 So I want to tackle these points here from the perspective of people that you recognize as leaders and whether or not they exhibit these traits. Okay. So these traits come from a website called learning liftoff.com and the first one they talk about here is the ability to instill in others a sense of wanting to go the extra mile to provide for the greater good of the team. So in people that have been leaders have been in leadership roles to you in school or on the playground or wherever. Do these leaders help you help to inspire you to want to go the extra mile?

Speaker 7: 17:03 I mean like that’s a similar thing to take the hat off kids that was like, Oh another problem as I was saying. So it’s similar. It’s like a similar thing to the, to the role models. Like if someone is like telling you you can go the extra mile, that’s like, that’s a like for anyone who have had as a leader, I can definitely say they’ve done that as well. Like, and I can definitely say that’s also an amazing trait for any leader to have. Making sure that they know that they let the team know that they can go the extra mile. E I’m just with a little extra effort and that definitely brings the team up and basically at the end it also brings the individual up. I’m having them complete even more of the tasks than they, than they could have done before.

Speaker 4: 18:02 Well, it’s interesting that you mentioned role models because I think a lot of times in many cases role models tend to take on a leadership position with us. You know, we, except for the exception like celebrity role model, stuff like that. But role models in our everyday life tend to be the leaders. They tend to be people in authority positions mentors that get us up there, but, but they’re leaders in general. So I think that’s a very good parallel draw. Yeah. Inspiring people to be better tomorrow than they aren’t today and help the team focus on what matters most in life. Do you think your leaders have been inspiring to you?

Speaker 7: 18:48 Yes. along with the you, you can go the extra mile thing. They’ve also been in spot. They’ve also taught, taught us that like you can be better today than you were then. You can be better tomorrow than you were today. And the fact of that is that it is true. As long as you put it, you’re willing to put in the effort, you will be, you’ll be significantly, significantly better, a better person of yourself tomorrow than you will be today as long as you’re,

Speaker 4: 19:21 And I, and I think that goes along with what we talked about in the previous segment about continuing improvement. Great leaders have the ability to communicate, understand, and assist followers. Assisting does not mean it always has to be positive, but it can be constructive criticism. Do you find that your leaders have, have been able to point out not just your good times, but your good traits, but your bad traits so that you can improve?

Speaker 7: 19:52 Yeah. I can definitely say that like my leaders have taught me about my good traits and make me keep thinking about them and also about my bad traits and that I can still improve on them.

Speaker 4: 20:08 So the next one is going to go back to risk-taking. So the leaders that you have, have, they have, they have shown the willingness to take risks and be courageous?

Speaker 7: 20:18 I definitely think that if a group of us doesn’t really want to do something because it’s kind of terrifying for us. The lead the leaders I know were definitely stepped their foot down and make sure to take that a little risk to make ensure that we’re all, that everything’s okay and that the team can proceed on.

Speaker 4: 20:41 Okay. And the last one that they talk about here is, well, we talked about in the last segment as, and that is having insightful, clear visions of targeted goals. And I think leadership really is about goals. The first thing that you, you probably need to have when you’re going to lead someone is where you’re going to lead them or how you’re, what, what the purpose is. Do your leaders tend to have that purposeful goal laid out in mind from step one?

Speaker 7: 21:13 Yeah. Like the leaders I know would keep everything organized step by step and make sure that we’d pray we would progressively get up to each step up and to eventually reach your goal.

Speaker 4: 21:27 Okay. next we’re gonna talk about how to teach kids to be leaders. Before we asked, you know, before we go down this list here, I want to ask you a question. Do you want to be a leader? Yes, I do. And why is that?

Speaker 7: 21:51 Well, being a leader or having leadership qualities is definitely a good way to become a good person. Like I’m basically saying like, if you’re a good leader, you’re able to, not only are you able to lead a team, but you’re also able to encourage others, like, as we said before, with like, you can be better than you can be better today than you tomorrow than you are today. And the, and you, the fact that you can also have improvement like that can encourage other people. You can spread positive. It helps you spread positive energy and maybe even a little bit of a negative energy, but you can always tell. But you always ensure that you back it up with some positive energy. And being a leader is definitely one of the best qualities anyone could have.

Speaker 4: 22:53 Okay. So let’s talk about some of the ways to teach kids how to be leaders. The first one that we have here is help them learn to see different viewpoints in a situation which will be helpful in trying to manage multiple opinions in a group setting. And I think some of the podcasts that we’ve done in the past here have kind of a moved you in that direction so that you can understand there’s different points of using yours. They may differ, they may be right, they may be wrong. But if you can’t see the other side of, of, of the situation, it’s difficult to understand how to, how to manage that. How do you, how do you think you are seeing different points of view?

Speaker 7: 23:42 I mean, I always make sure to include everyone’s ideas. I would all, I would ask my peers or my team members, what they think of a certain situation. They’ll all each give them a chance to share their opinion and afterwards we’ll always come up with a small compromise that’ll fit everyone’s opinion.

Speaker 4: 24:00 Okay. Teach them to set goals and always try to do their best at everything. How are, how good are you at setting goals?

Speaker 7: 24:11 I’m pretty good. I can always think of like, I always make sure to think if I think of a higher level goal, I’ll always make sure to back it up with smaller goals leading up to the top.

Speaker 4: 24:23 All right. And do you always try to do your best or do you sometimes just do enough to get by?

Speaker 9: 24:29 I mean,

Speaker 7: 24:31 In certain situations I always try to make sure I do my best when certain situations like I mean I would say like, it doesn’t happen normally, but if like I’m really slacking on something or I really need to do something and I’m only able to get enough to meet the standards then that I’m the best I can get. But I always make sure to have my goals to reach higher.

Speaker 9: 25:01 Okay. Fair enough.

Speaker 4: 25:04 Teach them to maintain a positive attitude. You’ve when others may make things difficult or tell them they can’t achieve something. How are you at maintaining a positive attitude?

Speaker 7: 25:19 Well, I can definitely say I am way better than before we stopped. Then when we started the podcast. I remember when we started the podcast, I was just a miserable wreck, I would think every pretty much every single day who today’s going to be a bad day in it. And it usually was and my mood swings ax it up most of the time then. And like I couldn’t control my anger and I just didn’t have a positive outlook on life. But after I stopped, after I matured and started and we started doing the podcast and got my mood swings under control, I can definitely say I’ve got a more positive outlook, but I’m not like I’ve, I’ve said this example before, the half full, half empty, half empty tests. Like I look more on the realistic point of view. Now I am, I’m not as negative as I was before, but I’m not as positive I suppose as like, I’m not like completely positive yet. I’m not totally negative anymore. I’m more on the realistic standards basically right in the middle and with the half full half empty standards. I’m right in the middle saying how to get there

Speaker 4: 26:29 And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 9: 26:32 Yeah.

Speaker 4: 26:32 Teach them that mistakes will always happen and are a natural part of life and not the let the mistakes beat them down and instead teach them to ask themselves. They can learn from each situation. How are you with making mistakes?

Speaker 7: 26:49 I don’t make mistakes often because I make sure I try not to, but when I do make mistakes you always say you okay with mistakes as long as you learn from them. And I definitely think I still made to work on that a bit. I’m just need like I beat myself up about it a bit. Like I always make sure I never make that mistake again. Like I never want to make that mistake again because otherwise it can be embarrassed and like whenever I make a mistake I feel slowly embarrassed and bad about, about and bad about what I did. And I always wished I could go back and back to the past. And then I could just relive that moment. Like anytime I make a mistake, I always think like, man, if only I could go back to like 10 seconds ago and I could just change that mistake.

Speaker 4: 27:35 Yeah, there’s no do overs in life unfortunately.

Speaker 7: 27:37 I know like that’s, that’s basically what I think every time I make a mistake like, Oh, if only I could go back in the past. But I always make sure to learn from my mistakes and try not to make them again. And usually I don’t

Speaker 4: 27:51 Enroll kids in extracurricular activities. Give them the self confidence needed in order to lead people both as a kid and as an adult you don’t really do much with extracurricular activities at this point, do you?

Speaker 7: 28:05 No, not really.

Speaker 4: 28:07 So there are some clubs and stuff in schools or anything that really catches your eye at this point?

Speaker 7: 28:13 I mean there are clubs that I would, I would join, but I wa I think I just waited too long and I was just nervous. Like what if it causes too much stress and brings my grade down? Like I just go,

Speaker 4: 28:28 The thing of you won’t know until you try it and if it starts to have an academic effect, then we make the necessary changes.

Speaker 7: 28:35 I know that like that’s the main problem with it and the main problem is why I don’t do it is mainly my anxiety.

Speaker 4: 28:44 Well, we’re going to have to overcome that because I think that’s an important part of school.

Speaker 7: 28:48 Yeah. I even though

Speaker 4: 28:49 Anxiety the extra,

Speaker 7: 28:52 Oh, but I still need to work on my anxiety. I mean like I’m better at my anxiety than I was before. Like before I was completely stressed all the time. Now I can get only get stressed if I have like a lot of schoolwork and I don’t understand some stuff. Right.

Speaker 4: 29:12 Yeah, we’ve gotten much better at it.

Speaker 7: 29:13 Yeah. I still have it though.

Speaker 4: 29:15 The last one that we have here is one that we kind of tat touched on in a previous podcast where we talked about responsibilities and then is let them make decisions start out small, such as letting them choose food in a grocery store. As they get older, they can start making more difficult decisions. Like how to spend their money. How are you right now with making, do you think you make a deep, fair number of decisions in your life?

Speaker 7: 29:45 I can definitely say so now. Like I make the decision to be organized in school and I also make the decision on how I do my homework. Like as we talked about in the time management podcast, I I work at, I organize my homework and work it out step-by-step whenever, whenever, whenever I make decisions that don’t involve school, I always try to make decisions like how I’m gonna spend my money. Like we said before, like I’m at that stage now where I can where I have my own money, I can and I can spend it. And I always make sure to think clearly like, do I really want this or do I really need this? And that’s how I haven’t spent like all my money yet. I make sure to make thorough decisions and make sure not to make sure that I won’t regret it.

Speaker 4: 30:41 And I think you’re doing a bang up job with that. So we’ll come back and we’ll talk about specific ways how parents can teach kids and help kids to be leaders

Speaker 4: 30:57 First is one that we’ve talked about in the past and why don’t we know we’re kind of struggling with and that has had them try out sports. Sports can teach them about teamwork, which is a significant component of leadership. And I’m going to expand this cause I know you’re not particularly enthused by athletics. Yeah. But I’m going to expand this and say again with the extracurricular activities, because there are a number of ECU extracurricular activities out there that will help teach you teamwork from band to chess club to debate club to various other things. But I don’t want to harp on this too much. We kind of know that that you’re not big on sports move.

Speaker 7: 31:44 Yeah. Yeah. Let’s just move on.

Speaker 4: 31:47 Cool. So the next one we have is focus on emotional intelligence. And emotional intelligence indicates how well your child understands empathy and sympathy. It’s a significant factor in problem solving and these are critical skills to have as a leader. So let me ask you this too. The mommy and daddy helped you focus on your emotional intelligence and learn empathy towards others?

Speaker 7: 32:14 Yeah, I’ve done, I definitely think you two have taught me that. Like whenever I’ve had my own, whenever I’ve had my own problems, I’ve noticed you two have tried to put yourselves in my shoes, listen thoroughly. And I definitely think that from a young age even like I learned to put my, to put myself in other people’s shoes whenever I’m talking with them with a problem and like whenever I have my friends with a problem or I see them upset, I always ask them about it and make sure I can try to find the problem. Then I have noticed I’ve been doing that ever since. Like I’ve had my friends and ever since like I’ve helped them with their problems.

Speaker 4: 32:52 Very good point. Embrace failure. How a child deals with failure and hardship is a strong predicator of how his or her growth of his or her growth are intelligence. Teach your child to deal with failure in a healthy, constructive manner. And I think this is one work still kind of working on because you don’t like to fail and you tend to be very hard on yourself when you do fail.

Speaker 7: 33:21 Yeah. And I remember at the starting of the of this month when I found out I wasn’t getting an a in math cause it’s advanced math. I was just devastated. I was calling you. I was telling you and mommy and how devastated I really was. And, and what did you do?

Speaker 4: 33:41 What did we do? You laughed. We laughed. And why did we laugh?

Speaker 7: 33:46 Because I was beating myself up over something that wasn’t actually that bad. Because when you guys went to back to school night, my teacher actually said very rare for students get A’s in her class.

Speaker 4: 33:58 Exactly. So what you were running into was exactly what was expected. Basically establish sound financial practices. One of the most important things to teach your children is how to manage their finances. Hard times can hit anyone. What is crucial is how they respond. So how are you with your financial practices?

Speaker 4: 34:26 Do you spend prevalently

Speaker 4: 34:31 Can you like give me a quick sample? Well, do you just buy something on impulse cause you want it and then the next day realize you really shouldn’t have bought it.

Speaker 7: 34:39 No, I don’t.

Speaker 4: 34:41 And how about savings? Do you have a method of saving money or do you just spend the decision? You get it?

Speaker 7: 34:46 Yeah, I have a method of saving money

Speaker 4: 34:49 And there you go. That’s the foundation for sound financial practices.

Speaker 7: 34:53 Yeah. I mean like as I said before, I’m, I mean I’m kind of cheap. I have to admit.

Speaker 4: 34:59 Well you’re not cheap. You’re frugal. There’s a difference.

Speaker 7: 35:01 Cool. Yeah. Sorry, I keep saying I’m cheap, but I’m actually frugal.

Speaker 4: 35:05 Cheap is running. You don’t want to spend your money when you, even if you need to, you don’t want to spend it. You want to get the bottom cheapest price you can get for anything. But yeah, that’s not me. Frugal is when you don’t spend money unless you need to. But if you need to spend money you do. So that’s the difference. Yeah. So the next one is take them on trips. And I thought this was kind of an interesting one. Traveling doesn’t necessarily mean you have to book a trip to a foreign country. It could involve visit to a nearby state park or simply spending a day exploring your city or town. The important thing is that you’re spending quality time with your kids outside the house. Parents who take the time to do activities with their children have a much stronger emotional connection than those who just are in that same room watching TV. It’s not always about the amount of time you spend with your kids, but the quality of it. Do you think that the time that mommy daddy spend with you is quality time by that definition?

Speaker 7: 36:09 Yeah, I can definitely say so because like you guys during the week, we don’t really see each other that much. Like my school days don’t really consist of seeing you with your work schedules because you guys work really long hours. And the only time we really get to see each other’s on the weekends and with that we do our social connections. I mean doing the podcast, I would even say it’s quality time because I’m tell we’re like talking about things that like our normal teen issues or geo and just, it’s like it’s quality time, but we were telling it to the, to like all sorts of other viewers, like even this is just quality time. Like you and me are talking to each other and we’re learning more about each other and we’ve been learning more about daily lives and more about issues with teenagers like that. And of course we always do extracurricular activities. If you watched our summer podcasts, we’ve talked about some of the extracurricular activities we do on the weekends and I think we should probably do a podcast on are the extra curricular activities you guys can do on weekends.

Speaker 4: 37:21 I think that’s a very good suggestion. I think we want to have to do that. Come on up. Yeah, teach patience. Patience is a skill that when taught right can last a lifetime. It’s one of the reasons fishing and hunting are popular activities for parents and kids because they teach proactive patients. Something you’re not going to find daddy doing. You’re intentionally doing something that requires waiting, which is a great skill and becoming an excellent listener and observer. Do you think you have good patients?

Speaker 7: 37:54 I mean, yeah, like I can give you two examples. Like whenever you want me to build some some star Wars build out of Lego’s like that takes patients. You definitely couldn’t do that. Like you can just put together really small bricks and a certain amount of time. Like I like this one. Yeah. Yeah. And there’s a giant castle on the basement. Yes, there is. Like, I, I think that definitely taught me patience because like the giant castle I built, like that took me a really long time and I actually messed up on it. But I fixed, but I was able to

Speaker 4: 38:31 Worn very patient. When you messed up though, you got very frustrated.

Speaker 7: 38:34 Yeah. But I took off and

Speaker 4: 38:35 Afterwards I went back, fixed my mistake and I was able to finish up the castle and like doing that get, I think helped me with patience with a second example. Cooking like cooking also gives you patience. Like once you get everything done, like you’re basically waiting for everything to be done. Like whenever I cook spaghetti, I always boil the water and make sure to have the meatballs and sausage cooked. Watching a pot of water board does require fish.

Speaker 7: 39:07 I know like, and I would always like check it constantly. Oh, check the times and like but that also like teach me, teach me patience and you know, attention spans like that. And I definitely think that’s almost as good as phishing. Like you’re waiting, you’re waiting for the water to move. Like,

Speaker 4: 39:31 Well, you’re absolutely right. They’re very good examples. Give them time to be creative. Creativity is one of the best tools a leader can have. So it’s important to give your children the opportunity to flex their creative muscles. There were plenty of great ways to foster creativity, including encouraging them to read and having artworks around the house. So do we encourage your creativity?

Speaker 7: 39:57 Yes. Like for my 13th birthday, you guys gave me a bunch of different stuff, arc thing. Like I have a 3d pen now I have a bunch of canvases and easel and some paints. And with that I’m hoping to make some really cool artwork because you know how much I love to draw. With reading. I like to read my comics like we are, we try every couple of months to go to our one comic book store so I can get, so I can get some new comics and I can definitely say I like reading comics, but not only comics. Like I also like reading like types of books in general, but it’s like I’m not about quorum. I can safely say that, but like,

Speaker 4: 40:43 No, but you don’t have any problems being creative, that’s for sure. Yeah. Practice negotiation techniques with them. It might sound silly that parents should teach their kids to be on a level playing field with them, but it’s actually a pretty useful communication skill. A study on teaching negotiation suggest that roleplays focused on seeing different viewpoints of a situation can be effective. Do you have much opportunity to do negotiation?

Speaker 7: 41:15 Yeah. Like I hang out with two different age groups. I hang out with kids who are my age and kids who are younger and I can negotiate with both of them, like I know how to talk to the younger kids and I know how to talk to the other kid. There’s to the, to to my age, like being my age, I know what we normally say and how we say it. And I remember to be in my of, I remember to stay in my age whenever I’m near them, but whenever I’m with my younger friends, I always try to double to go down my age and try to speak their age. But I also tried to be the older friend or the leader of the group and tried to make sure to solve and the problems we’re having or come up with suggestions that we could do.

Speaker 4: 42:05 Very good example. Instill the dangers of procrastination. Excuse me. As a parent, you’re always going to want to let your kid be a kid, but it’s also important to teach them and to get things done when it’s necessary. So I think secure school work and your projects is probably a very good example of this where, you know, we early on kind of taught you that you needed to be proactive in what you were doing. And I think this really manifested itself in your summer reading and explain to us what you did with your summer reading. So you didn’t procrastinate.

Speaker 7: 42:46 Over my summer reading, I actually split up the book for the different amounts of days I have, like, I would read like a couple of pages each day, but make sure it’s the same for each other day. And like,

Speaker 4: 43:01 So you figured out how many pages, how many days off you had the read and how many pages you had to read and you knew how many pages per day you had to read. Yeah, yeah. And you were very good at that. I mean, you stay right on top of that and that’s, that’s great.

Speaker 7: 43:14 Yeah. And not only does that help me know, go stop with procrastination, but it helps me remember the book porn.

Speaker 4: 43:20 Yup. Absolutely. the last one that we have here is to lead by example, which I honestly think this is probably the most important one. When you’re going to be the most, you’re going to be the most important teacher your child will have. And this is referring to parents. Whatever you do, they’re going to mimic. And, and while we’re talking specifically about how parents can teach your kids to be leaders, being a leader is about leading by example. Having people do things that you yourself wouldn’t be willing to do is kinda hypocritical. But teaching your kids the right from wrong ways by your own example is probably the best way to get the rules across. What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 7: 44:11 Well, I like, I remember one of my teachers saying that like parents, like kids follow their parents’ actions whether they’re good or bad, and that the whole reason behind that is because kit parents are the biggest leaders slash role models that a kid could have. And even if a parent’s doing something good or something bad, they’re going to mimic it. Like you are frustrated with technology that kind of went on when the may, like I am frustrated with technology, I just want to have your attitude on life as well. But like I’ve gotten into your more realistic point of view. Like I think having more interaction with you got me out of my negative stage and put me in a more realistic stage just like you.

Speaker 4: 44:59 I think you’re absolutely right. That was all that I had in my notes. We’ll come back, we’ll get your closing remarks and any shout outs that you have.

Speaker 6: 45:10 Okay.

Speaker 4: 45:15 Go for your closing remarks.

Speaker 7: 45:17 Alrighty. So for those of you in the audience, I just want to say that I hope that all of you try to strive to be a leader. You may possess some leadership qualities and that is definitely good and I think you should strive in those. Being a good leader not only helps you understand other people, but it helps you encourage them and it can also benefit you as much as it can benefit other people.

Speaker 4: 45:48 Okay. Awesome. Any shout outs,

Speaker 7: 45:52 We’re going to give a shout out to you and mommy because you two have been the biggest leaders that I’ve known and you’ve gotten me and you’ve made me the person I am.

Speaker 4: 46:00 Well, thank you very much for your heart. That’s very nice of you to say. No problem. I think that’s all we had this week. Just some shout outs for contacts. You can email us@commentsthatinsightsintothings.com. Check out our website at http://www.insightsintothings.comyoucangetusonfacebookatfacebook.com/insights into things, podcasts. You can get our videos online at youtube.com/insights into things. You can get our audio podcasts and podcast on insights into teens.com or you can hit us on Twitter at insights underscore things. I think that’s it. Another one. Great one in the books and then we’re done.

Speaker 7: 46:45 Bye everyone.

Speaker 4: 46:46 Bye.

Show Notes

• Introduction
  • Insights Into Teens Episode 39 Leadership
  • My talented and insightful co-host Madison Whalen
• What does it mean to be a leader
• What is leadership
  • https://www.game-learn.com/what-is-leadership-ways-to-define/
  • http://bit.ly/2PjS7Ha
    • Vision
      • Leading means having a vision and sharing it with others
         
    • Motivation
      • A leader knows how to motivate better than anyone else; it is one of their main functions as people managers.
         
    • Serving
      • The leader is at the service of the team, and not the other way around.
         
    • Empathy
      • One of the basic qualities of any leader seeking success is precisely emotional intelligence, that ability – often innate – that makes leaders put themselves in the place of others, understand their concerns and solve problems..
         
    • Creativity
      • Good leaders are able to create an environment that will encourage all the members of their team to develop their skills and imagination, so that they can contribute to the common objective and vision of the team.
• Thoroughness
  • A good leader sets the bar high for their people, because they want to reach the goals and bring the best out of their teams. Only a demanding leader will achieve great results.
     
• Managing
  • The leader must be at the forefront to lead and guide their team throughout the whole process until the goal is reached. Leaders also know when to step back and make their team take the initiative. In this way, the team gets the chance to develop, both personally and professionally. Pure management focuses on the tasks, real leadership focuses on the people.
     
• Team building
  • True leadership is about working in a team to reach a common goal. People management is one of the most difficult tasks faced by leaders. Thanks to the positive attitude, essential in good leaders, and the trust in their workmates, people get better results. Team-aware leaders take responsibility when something is wrong, and reward the group after a job well done.
     
• Taking risks
  • The leader is the one responsible for taking the risks that others are not willing to take. They are confident enough to make a decision, and if they make a mistake, the leader must have the courage to rectify, assume their guilt and take the right path, without blaming it on the team.
     
• Improving
  • True leadership seeks continuous improvement. Leaders have the ability to turn the people in their teams into stars, people who have improved and developed their skills through the influence of their leader.
• What Defines a Great Leader
  • https://www.learningliftoff.com/how-to-teach-kids-leadership-skills/
  • http://bit.ly/2Wcre9m
    • The ability to instill in others a sense of wanting to go the extra mile to provide for the greater good of a team.
    • Inspiring people to be better tomorrow than they are today and help the team focus on what matters most in life.
    • The ability to communicate, understand, and assist followers. Assisting does not mean it always has to be positive, but can include constructive criticism.
    • Willingness to take risks and be courageous.
    • Having insightful, clear visions of targeted goals.
       
• How to Teach Kids to Be Leaders
  • Help them learn to see different viewpoints in a situation, which will be helpful when trying to manage multiple opinions in a group setting.
  • Teach them to set goals and always try to do their best at everything.
  • Help them maintain a positive attitude—even when others make things difficult or tell them they can’t achieve something.
  • Teach them that mistakes will always happen and are a natural part of life—and not to let the mistakes beat them down. Instead, teach them to ask themselves what they can learn from each situation.
  • Enroll kids in extracurricular activities to give them the self-confidence needed in order to lead people both as a kid and as an adult.
  • Let them make decisions. Start out small, such as letting them choose food in a grocery store. As they get older, they can start making more difficult decisions, like how to spend their money.
• Ways parents can teach their kids to be leaders
  • https://www.forbes.com/sites/deeppatel/2017/07/26/10-ways-parents-can-teach-their-children-to-be-leaders/#f8775d02a761
  • http://bit.ly/345DQ54
    • Have Them Try Out Sports
      • Sports can teach them about teamwork, which is a significant component of leadership.
         
    • Focus On Emotional Intelligence
      • Emotional intelligence indicates how well your child understands empathy and sympathy
      • It is a significant factor in problem-solving.
      • These are critical skills to have as a leader
         
    • Embrace Failure
      • How a child deals with failure and hardship is a strong predictor of his or her growth and intelligence
      • Teach your child to deal with failure in a healthy, constructive manner.
         
    • Establish Sound Financial Practices
      • One of the most important things to teach your children is how to manage their finances.
      • Hard times can hit anyone; what is crucial is how they respond.
         
    • Take Them On Trips
      • Traveling doesn’t necessarily mean you have to book a trip to a foreign country.
      • It could involve a visit to a nearby state park or simply spending a day exploring your city or town.
      • The important thing is that you’re spending quality time with your kids outside of the house.
      • Parents who take the time to do activities with their children have a much stronger emotional connection than those who just are in the same room watching TV.
      • It’s not always about the amount of time you spend with your kids, but the quality of it.
         
    • Teach Patience
      • Patience is a skill that, when taught right, can last a lifetime.
      • It’s one of the reasons fishing and hunting are popular activities for parents and kids, because they teach “proactive patience.”
      • You’re intentionally doing something that requires waiting, which is a great skill in becoming an excellent listener or observer.
         
    • Give Them Time To Be Creative
      • Creativity is one of the best tools a leader can have, so it’s important to give your children the opportunity to flex their creative muscles.
      • There are plenty of great ways to foster creativity, including encouraging them to read and having artworks around the house.
         
    • Practice Negotiation Techniques With Them
      • It might sound silly that parents should teach their kids to be on a level playing field with them, but it’s actually a pretty useful communication skill.
      • A study on teaching negotiation suggests that role plays focused on seeing different viewpoints of a situation can be effective.
         
    • Instill The Dangers Of Procrastination
      • As a parent, you’re always going to want to let your kid be a kid, but it’s also important to teach them how to get things done when it’s necessary.
         
    • Lead By Example
      • You’re going to be the most important teacher your child will have.
      • Whatever you do, they’re going to mimic.
         
• Closing remarks and shoutouts