Insights Into Teens: Episode 178 ”Sexting”

INTRO THEME]
[INTRODUCTIONS]
Insights Into Teens: Episode 178 “Sexting”
My intelligent and responsible co-host Madison Whalen Summary
The main theme of this podcast over the past 170 plus episodes has been to educate, entertain and help teens deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up during some of their most significant formative years.
Today’s episode is a bit different.
This topic was prompted by a recent event that cost the life of a teen through suicide.
The story moved me to the point that I wanted to try to ensure the same thing didn’t happen to anyone else.
We’re discussing a very sensitive topic, not to glorify it or endorse it nor are we here to pass judgment over anyone who engages in it
Instead our purpose today is to acknowledge that it happens.
Discuss the dangers inherently involved in it.
And try to help teens understand how to cope with the consequences of it, should they engage in it.
All in the hopes that the fate that befell the young man in the article we’re going to discuss does not happen to anyone else. This episode discusses suicide.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
[TRANSITION] [SEGMENT 1] https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/what-sexting/
https://bit.ly/45KpEhH What is sexting? Sexting is sending and receiving sexual messages through technology such as a phone, app, email or webcam.
For some people, sexting is a way to explore sexuality, trust, boundaries and intimacy.
However, in some cases, sexting is used to bully, blackmail and exploit.
Sexting can involve words, photos or videos such as:
a message or post written with sexual language
nude or semi-nude photos/videos
Photos and/or videos of sexual acts
live chats with someone on webcam involving sexual acts or
screen-captured photos/videos recorded from webcam
Not all teens sext, but for those who do, their experiences are very different.
Even when there is consent, trust and respect between people who decide to sext, it’s hard to be completely sure a sexual message will be private.
For those who do decide to engage in sexting, it’s important to know the facts on consent and the law.
The decision to sext is personal — not everyone feels the same way about it.
Most teens decide not to sext.
Older teens are more likely than younger teens to send and receive sexts. According to a recent survey of young people who’ve sent sexts in the past:
49% sent them to their girlfriend or boyfriend
43% sent them to someone they liked and were hoping to be in a relationship with
31% sent them to someone they only knew online
and
20% sent them to someone they didn’t know Some of the reasons people may choose to sext are:
to explore sexuality with someone they care about
to connect with someone they like
or
Because they were pressured to do so by others According to the same survey, the top reasons young people gave for why they sexted include:
“I do it for fun.”
“I was pressured.”
“To get a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
“I was curious.”
and
“As a joke between friends.” The survey found that 28% of young people who had sent sexual messages felt pressured into it.
Most of the time, this pressure was coming from someone who wanted a sext sent to them. For some people, being sexual through a phone, app or webcam can feel easier than doing something sexual in person. [AD1: SSE] [SEGMENT 2] The dangers of sexting Sexting can negatively affect your mental health, relationships and future.
It can even have legal consequences. Before sending an explicit photo, remember that once an image is out there, you can’t get it back.
What if you and the other person break up?
What if they share your message or photo with their friends or social media networks?
What if your parents or teachers found out?
In some cases, the image could even end up in the hands of a sexual predator. If your sext includes a photo or video, it’s important to remember once it’s created, it’s impossible to control where it ends up.
Even photos and videos shared through an app promising they’ll disappear aren’t completely private.
Someone could still save a copy. Choosing whether or not to sext is a decision only you can make.
Feeling uncomfortable or pressured to sext is never OK. If you’re considering sexting, here are some questions to ask yourself:
Why do I want to send a sext?
It’s important that you feel in control of whether you send a sext and that you send it because you want to.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable or pressured, it’s always OK to say ‘no’. How well do I know the person I’m sexting?
Sexting with someone you met online or someone who’s much older than you has different legal concerns than sexting with someone your own age. If I send a sext with a photo or video, will I have control of where it ends up?
It’s impossible to have control of a photo or video once it’s sent. What is my gut telling me?
Trust your instincts and only take part in things you feel comfortable with. Will the police get involved?
It is very possible that the police will get involved, especially if any of the following factors are in play:
If you were threatened or blackmailed to send the content in question
abuse or assault is depicted in the content
you are under the age of 18 and sent it to someone older than yourself
or
it failed to stayed private between you and the person you sent it to
You should talk to a lawyer if you have questions about sexting and the law. Sexting can have potential emotional consequences like
Regret
Objectification or victimization
Bullying
Depression
Sadness
Social isolation
Loss of friendships
Loss of respect for yourself
Or ultimately
Thinking about or actually hurting yourself or others Sexting can also negatively affect your future, such as your
Employment
College admission
Military admission
Your spot on a sports team
Scholarships
Future relationships
or
Mental health if you have to re-live the consequences of your decision Employers and colleges often look at candidates’ social media profiles and online presence.
Having nude images or photos of alcohol or drug use could hinder your ability to get a job or into college one day. Legal consequences of sexting
If a person involved in sexting is under age 18, it’s considered child pornography.
The legal consequences can vary depending on the state where you live.
Some states consider it a felony to both send and receive the photo (even if you didn’t ask the person to send the photo).
If the person in the image is under 18, you may face legal consequences if you’re the:
Photo taker
Person in the picture
Sender
Receiver
or
In possession of the photo Sexting could also put you at risk for placement on the Sex Offender Registry and possible jail time.
Usually, the consequences are harshest for those who request or share the photo.
Even if you’re not breaking the law, your school can punish you and others involved, even if you’re legal adults. How to avoid serious consequences from sexting Never take photos of yourself you wouldn’t want everyone to see, including your family, classmates and teachers.
Never forward someone else’s sex-related photos or messages.
You could get in serious trouble, especially if a person involved is under age 18. What to do if someone pressures you to sext
If someone asks you to send a nude photo or explicit message, you may be afraid to turn them down because you don’t want them to stop liking you.
But if someone truly cares about you, they won’t ask you to do something that puts your mental health and future at risk.
If someone sends you an unwanted message or pressures you to sext, tell a trusted adult.
That’s sexual harassment and it’s not OK. [AD2: ENTERTAINMENT] [SEGMENT 3] https://www.foxnews.com/us/michigan-family-sounds-alarm-sons-sextortion-suicide-arrests-3-nigerian-men
https://bit.ly/45lzqXI This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Jordan DeMay was a 17 year old high school student and football player whom his father John DeMay described as “smart. He was a good student. He was a great athlete,” The teenager began chatting with someone he thought was a woman on Instagram.
The account was real but had been hacked and sold to a 22 year old Nigerian man named Samuel Ogoshi who posed as a woman.
He used the profile to coerce young men into sending explicit photos of themselves.
He allegedly used the photos as leverage for money, according to the FBI. Jordan fell victim to this version of extortion, termed “sextortion.
The 17-year-old football player’s tragic fate is not uncommon in America and across the world.
Teens across the U.S. are falling victim to sextortion on social media. Jordan’s father described the attack as “someone came to his bedroom at 3 in the morning and murdered him through Instagram when we were all sleeping at night, and we had zero chance to stop it.”
John DeMay is sounding the alarm about “sextortion” after his 17-year-old son, Jordan DeMay, died by suicide last year.
The suspect in Jordan’s death is one of three suspects from Lagos arrested recently for allegedly hacking Instagram accounts and sexually extorting, or “sextorting,” more than 100 young men online. The FBI defines sextortion as a “serious crime” in which perpetrators threaten to expose a victim’s sensitive or private information in exchange for sexually explicit material or money. Ogoshi threatened to distribute explicit pictures the 17 year old sent to the compromised account if Jordan didn’t pay him a ransom.
The attacker demanded $1,000, Jordan sent $300 and the attacker threatened to expose the victim to his family and friends if he didn’t send more.
Distraught and not sure what to do, Jordan messaged Ogoshi telling him he was going to kill himself.
“Good” Ogoshi responded “Do that fast. Or I’ll make you do it…”
Jordan DeMay did do it A 2018 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) Pediatrics found that nearly 15% of U.S. youth were sending “sexts,” or sexual texts, while 27% of youth were receiving them.
The perpetrators pose as real people, often as attractive women or men online and target young and vulnerable victims.
They will reach out directly to victims and strike up an online conversation, gain the victims’ trust one way or another and convince them to send nude photos.
Once the photos are exchanged, the perpetrators threaten to share them or make them public if the victims do not send money, other personal information or more explicit images.
The scheme pushes some teens beyond their breaking point. Jordan’s father said he encourages parents and teenagers to learn about the risks of sextortion and have a plan in place if it happens to them or someone they know.
Specifically, he advises victims to turn off their phones and contact law enforcement or the FBI immediately.
He also said he would tell Jordan “every single day” if he had “a chance” that threats from the sextortionist were not the end of his life.
“[Kids] have to just understand that this isn’t the end of whatever they think is their life, because it’s not,” DeMay explained. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline received about 32 million reports of suspected child sexual exploitation in 2022.
The “online enticement” category of the CyberTipline saw an 82% increase in complaints between 2021 and 2022. The FBI encourages anyone who believes they are a victim of sextortion or knows someone who may be to contact their local FBI office or toll-free at 1-800-CALL-FBI. [TRANSITION] [CLOSE] Closing thoughts shoutouts [OUTRO AND CREDITS] Show Plugs
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00:00:03:11 – 00:00:53:10
Michelle
Insightful podcasts by informative host wrote Insights into Things, a podcast network. Welcome to Insights into Teens, a podcast series exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison Whalen, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years. 00:00:53:12 – 00:01:08:06
Joseph
Welcome to Insights into Teens. This is episode 178 Sexting. I am your host, Joseph Whalen, and my intelligent and responsible co-host, Madison Whalen. 00:01:08:08 – 00:01:09:01
Madison
Hey, everybody. 00:01:09:08 – 00:01:10:26
Joseph
How you doing today, Manny? 00:01:10:28 – 00:01:12:26
Madison
I’m doing all right. How about you? 00:01:12:28 – 00:01:31:15
Joseph
I’m doing all right as well. I think we’re going to forego some of the normal, jovial banter that we go through on these shows. We have kind of a serious topic to talk about today. We’re going to skip the plugs and all that stuff, too. And I think we’re just going to get right into it. 00:01:31:18 – 00:01:34:00
Madison
All right. 00:01:34:03 – 00:02:00:00
Joseph
So the main theme of this podcast over the past 170 plus episodes has been to educate, entertain and help teens deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up during some of their most significant formative years. Today’s episodes are a bit different. This topic was prompted by a recent event that cost the life of a teen through suicide. 00:02:00:02 – 00:02:30:19
Joseph
The story moved me to the point that I wanted to try to ensure the same thing didn’t happen to anyone else. We’re discussing a very sensitive topic not to glorify it or to endorse it, nor are we here to pass judgment over anyone who engages in it. Instead, our purpose today is to acknowledge that it happens. Discuss the dangers inherently involved in it, and try to help teens understand how to cope with the consequences of it. 00:02:30:19 – 00:03:09:17
Joseph
Should they engage in it all in the hopes that the fate that befell the young man in the article we’re going to discuss does not happen to anyone else. Now, it’s important to note this episode does discuss suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the suicide Crisis Lifeline at 988 or one 800 2738255. 00:03:09:19 – 00:03:51:04
Joseph
So what is sexting? Sexting is sending and receiving sexual messages through technology such as a smartphone and an email or webcam. For some people, sexting is a way to explore sexuality, trust, boundaries and intimacy. However, in some cases, sexting is used to bully blackmail and exploit. Sexting can involve words, photos or videos such as a message or a post written with sexual language nude or seminude photos or videos, photos or videos of sexual acts. 00:03:51:07 – 00:04:25:28
Joseph
Live chats with someone on webcam involving sexual acts or screen captured videos or photos recorded from webcam. Not all teen sexting, but those who do. Their experiences are very different. Even when there is consent. Trust and respect between people who decide to sext. It’s hard to be completely sure of a sexual message will be private. For those who do decide to engage in sexting. 00:04:26:01 – 00:04:47:04
Joseph
It’s important to know the facts on consent in the law. The decision to sext is a personal one. Not everyone feels the same way about it. Most teens decide not to sext. Older teens are more likely than younger teens to send and receive sex. 00:04:47:06 – 00:05:20:13
Madison
According to a recent survey of young people who sent sex in the past. 49% of them sent them to their girlfriend or boyfriend. 43% of them sent them to someone they liked and were hoping to be in a relationship with. 31% sent them to someone they only knew online and 20% sent them to someone they didn’t know. Some of the reasons people may choose to sext are to explore sexuality with someone they care about, to connect with someone they like, or because they were pressured to do so by others. 00:05:20:15 – 00:05:45:17
Madison
According to the same survey, the top reasons young people gave for why they sexted included I do it for fun. I was pressured to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. I was curious and as a joke between friends. The survey found that 28% of young people who had sent sexual messages felt pressured to do it. Most of the time this pressure was coming from someone who wanted a sex sent to them. 00:05:45:19 – 00:05:53:04
Madison
For some people, being sexual through a phone app or webcam can feel easier than doing something sexual in person. 00:05:53:06 – 00:06:03:22
Joseph
So now we know we have a frame of reference of what we’re talking about here. I’ll ask the obvious question that’s hanging out there. Have you ever sex with someone? 00:06:03:25 – 00:06:21:23
Madison
No. I’ve never gotten really close to anybody to really want that sort of thing. I never really felt the need to explore that part of myself. And I’ve never really had an opportunity where I actually wanted to engage in something like that. 00:06:21:26 – 00:06:27:16
Joseph
Has anyone ever solicited something like that from you? 00:06:27:18 – 00:06:42:11
Madison
No. No one that I know has ever really asked, probably because I either just keep in contact with friends and don’t engage in social media, or just that I don’t present myself as somebody that really wants anything to do with that. 00:06:42:14 – 00:06:48:01
Joseph
Okay. Now, do you know if any of your friends have engaged in this sort of activity? 00:06:48:03 – 00:07:07:16
Madison
Not really. I haven’t asked them personally, and I don’t really know what goes on outside of that. I know that some of them are in relationships, but I don’t know if there’s anything that’s sent between them at all. And I kind of, you know, like they mentioned, this kind of thing is more or less personal, So I don’t really ask too much about it. 00:07:07:18 – 00:07:18:03
Joseph
What are your thoughts on do you think that there is a a viable or a legitimate use case for this type of of activity? 00:07:18:05 – 00:07:48:12
Madison
I mean, I could kind of see the purpose in it. Like, you know, the idea of exploring your sexuality is an important thing that, you know, some teenagers tend to go through. And this is a way for them to work on that. And I think doing it in a somewhat like more in a kind of privatized manner is probably all right. 00:07:48:15 – 00:08:04:12
Madison
I wouldn’t say this is the best option for exploring it, but it’s certainly out there. It can have its benefits, and I guess I won’t have too much of a problem if somebody is doing it as long as they’re not harming themselves or others through it. 00:08:04:15 – 00:08:30:23
Joseph
Okay, that’s fair. One of the things that I thought was kind of interesting when I was doing the research for this were the numbers. You know, we talked about the statistics here and half almost half of the respondents to the survey had sent a text message to somebody else. Do you think those numbers are correct? Do you think it’s alarming? 00:08:30:24 – 00:08:42:05
Joseph
Do you think they’re really higher than that in the in the sample size may not have really shown the true numbers? Or do you think that those numbers are spot on? 00:08:42:08 – 00:09:03:27
Madison
I guess I don’t really have too much of a way to judge it myself. I don’t since I haven’t experienced it myself, I can’t really say for certain how common it is. I don’t really tend to focus too much on this sort of thing, so it’s kind of hard for me to have my own idea of what I think the numbers would be. 00:09:03:29 – 00:09:33:26
Madison
So I was surprised by some of the numbers and the ways of how, like some people were more or less pressured into doing it than they were doing it willingly. But now kind of thinking about it. I guess that also kind of makes sense because peer pressure exists in abundance when it comes to teenagers. And I could see people being pressured into sexting just like they would be pressured into doing anything else. 00:09:33:28 – 00:10:04:07
Joseph
The one thing that they don’t talk about is what the medium is for for some of these sexting events in the article. Obviously, sexting is a phone. The phone using SMS text is one thing, but I could see people usually talk about social media in here as well. Facebook comes to mind, Twitter, I guess, or X or whatever it is now. 00:10:04:09 – 00:10:21:00
Joseph
Are you involved? Do you use any of these social media? I know you do you watch YouTube videos. Obviously, that’s I wouldn’t consider that social media. But are there any social media platforms that you use now that would engage in something like this? 00:10:21:02 – 00:10:46:05
Madison
Not really. I have like social media apps that were downloaded, but I’ve never actually use them or created my own account, mainly because I just don’t I don’t know. I don’t feel like currently having anything to do with social media and I get enough of and despite the fact that YouTube technically isn’t social media, I kind of have an awareness of what happens on social media through YouTube. 00:10:46:07 – 00:11:02:15
Madison
So I feel like I don’t really need to get any of the other apps since I have one app that technically kind of mentions almost anything. And obviously I don’t think I don’t think too many people are using YouTube to sext because that’s a little strange. 00:11:02:18 – 00:11:09:18
Joseph
But it’s also, I think against the platform’s rules and regulations too. Or they would shut something like that down pretty quickly. 00:11:09:23 – 00:11:35:29
Madison
Yeah, but when it comes to other social media apps, I can certainly see it since like you can technically friend people on certain social media apps or like you can like make a group with certain people or you can just like engage with someone like directly with it. And the only real method I have for that is just the regular messaging app, which you can’t really do that with just complete strangers. 00:11:35:29 – 00:11:38:09
Madison
You have to kind of know the person’s number. 00:11:38:12 – 00:12:22:20
Joseph
Okay. Well, we’re going to take our first break. And when we come back, we’re going to talk about some of the dangers of sexting. We’ll be right back. For over seven years, the second City empire has been the premier community guild in the online game star Wars, the Old Republic with hundreds of friendly and helpful active members, a weekly schedule of nightly events, annual guild, meet and greets and connect with community, both on the Web and on Discord. 00:12:22:23 – 00:12:58:10
Joseph
The second Civ Empire is more than your typical gaming group. We’re family. Join us on the Star Forge server for nightly events such as Operation Guns, Flashpoints, World Boss Funds, Star Wars, Trivia Guild, Lottery and much more. Visit us on the web today at w w w start the second Sep and fire dot com. 00:12:58:13 – 00:13:22:02
Madison
Welcome back to Insights into teens. Today we’re talking about sexting and now we’re going to talk about the dangers of sexting. Sexting can negatively affect your mental health, relationships and future. It can even have legal consequences. Before sending an explicit photo, remember that once an image is out there, you can’t take it back. What if you and the other person break up? 00:13:22:09 – 00:13:41:18
Madison
What if they share your message or photo with their friends or social media networks? What if your parents or teachers found out? In some cases, the image could even end up in the hands of a sexual predator. If your sext includes a photo or video, it’s important to remember once it’s created, it’s impossible to control where it ends up. 00:13:41:21 – 00:14:01:09
Madison
Even photos and videos shared through an app promising they’ll disappear aren’t completely private. Some could still save a copy or someone could still save a copy. Choosing whether or not to sext is a decision only you can make. Feeling uncomfortable or pressured to sext is never okay. 00:14:01:12 – 00:14:27:23
Joseph
If you’re considering sexting. Here are some questions to ask yourself first. Why do I want to send a sext? It’s important that you feel in control of whether you send a sext and that you send it because you want to. If you’re feeling uncomfortable or pressured, it’s always okay to say no. How well do I know the person I’m sexting? 00:14:27:26 – 00:14:52:18
Joseph
Sexting with someone you met online or someone who’s much older than you is different legal concerns and sexting with someone your own age. If I send a sex with a photo or video, will I have control of where it ends up? It’s impossible to have control of a photo or video once it’s sent. What’s my gut telling me? 00:14:52:21 – 00:15:29:10
Joseph
Trust your instincts. Only take part in things you feel comfortable with. And finally, will the police get involved? It’s very possible the police will get involved, especially if any of the following factors are in play. If you were threatened or blackmailed to send the content in question if abuse or assault is depicted in the content. If you were under the age of 18 and send it to someone older than yourself, or if it failed to stay private between you and the person you sent it to. 00:15:29:12 – 00:15:34:15
Joseph
You should talk to a lawyer if you have questions about sexting in the law. 00:15:34:17 – 00:16:04:27
Madison
Sexting can have potential emotional consequences, like regret, objectification, or victimization, bullying, depression, sadness, social isolation, loss of friendships, loss of respect for yourself, or ultimately thinking about or actually hurting yourself or others. Sexting can also negatively affect your future, such as your employment, college admission, military admission, your spot on a sports team, scholarships, future relationships, or even your mental health. 00:16:04:29 – 00:16:20:12
Madison
If you have to relive the consequences of your decision, employers and colleges often look at candidates, social media profiles and online presence. Having nude images or photos of alcohol or drug use could hinder your ability to get a job or into college one day. 00:16:20:14 – 00:16:43:27
Joseph
So what are the legal consequences of sexting now? Obviously, we’re not lawyers. We can only kind of scratch the surface on here, but it’s one of the things that need to be considered. So if a person involved in sexting is under the age of 18, it’s considered child pornography. The legal consequences can vary depending on the state where you live. 00:16:44:00 – 00:17:15:01
Joseph
Some states consider it a felony to both send and receive the photo, even if you didn’t ask the person to send the photo. If the person in the image is under 18, you may face legal consequences if you’re the photo taker, a person seen in the picture, the sender, the receiver, or just in possession of the photo. Sexting can also put you at risk for placement on the sex offender registry and possible jail time. 00:17:15:03 – 00:17:29:15
Joseph
Usually the consequences are harshest for those who request or share the photo. Even if you’re not breaking the law, your school can punish you and others involved. Even if you’re legal adults. 00:17:29:17 – 00:17:52:11
Madison
So how do you avoid serious consequences from sexting? First, never take photos of yourself you wouldn’t want everyone to see, including your family, classmates and teachers. Never forward someone else’s sex related photos or messages. You could get in serious trouble, especially if the person involved is under the age of 18. What do you do if someone pressures you to sext? 00:17:52:14 – 00:18:11:05
Madison
If someone asked you to send a nude photo or explicit message, you may be afraid to turn them down because you don’t want them to stop liking you. But if someone truly cares about you, they won’t ask you to do something that puts your mental health and future at risk. If someone send you an unwanted message or pressure to sext, tell a trusted adult. 00:18:11:07 – 00:18:14:20
Madison
That’s sexual harassment and that’s not okay. 00:18:14:22 – 00:18:18:12
Joseph
Well, a couple of interesting things for us to probably break down here. 00:18:18:15 – 00:18:19:04
Madison
All right. 00:18:19:06 – 00:18:45:15
Joseph
The first is the technology behind it. So depending on the medium that you send it through. Once you create that file on today’s modern cell phones, most of them are cloud connected. So if I take a picture on my phone, there’s a very good chance that a copy of that’s going up to the cloud already, whether it’s Android, you know, Google Cloud or Apple or whatever. 00:18:45:18 – 00:18:51:19
Joseph
So there’s a copy already right there that’s off your phone immediately without you even realizing after just taking a picture. 00:18:51:21 – 00:18:52:14
Madison
Mm hmm. 00:18:52:16 – 00:19:14:29
Joseph
Those services then do backups themselves. You know, for Apple, for instance, you have two or three different backups of your photos, and they do that as a convenience for you so that you don’t lose your photos. But if you forget to go and delete one of those photos somewhere, it’s always going to be there. And that’s before you even send it to someone. 00:19:15:01 – 00:19:47:20
Joseph
Once you send it to someone, depending on how you send it. Like, for instance, let’s take an SMS message or an iMessage. So you have a photo on your phone, a couple of photos in the cloud for Apple. Now you’re sending a photo to someone. Now, usually depending on what kind of phone they have, if they have an Android phone and you’re sending a movie or a large folder, what Apple will do is it will store it in a temporary location on the web and then send link. 00:19:47:22 – 00:20:10:07
Joseph
Will that link goes to the person? They click on it. They’re pulling it down right there. So they have a copy of it. They could send that link to someone else. So now you’ve got at least two more copies floating around out there of whatever it is. Possibly more if they send it to someone else. So let’s say you send it to someone through Facebook. 00:20:10:09 – 00:20:38:11
Joseph
Well, Facebook gives you the ability to delete your stuff, but Facebook deletion of your stuff isn’t actually deletion of your stuff. One, because you’re using a browser. So when you upload it through a web browser, you’ve got a local cache, and that local cache then uploads. And so there’s a copy in your cache, you send it to your friend, your friend looks at it, it goes into their cache. 00:20:38:13 – 00:20:44:09
Joseph
So even if they delete the file after downloading, it still sits in their cache there. So someone can get to it. 00:20:44:12 – 00:20:45:11
Madison
Yep. 00:20:45:13 – 00:21:03:27
Joseph
Plus it sits on Facebook servers and Facebook is infamous for allowing you to delete. And I do that in air quotes. Delete your content, but they never really delete it. They simply hide it from you so that you can’t access it anymore. But they never delete. 00:21:03:29 – 00:21:04:28
Madison
Mm hmm. 00:21:05:01 – 00:21:26:16
Joseph
So you don’t know what these service providers are out there or going to do. It’s a lot different than, you know, if you took a Polaroid of yourself. For those of you out there that don’t know what a Polaroid is. It was a camera that you pushed the button and the picture came out and developed itself. Your unique idea well before digital cameras. 00:21:26:19 – 00:21:49:15
Joseph
But that was the only copy that you had. There were no negatives. You know, normally in a traditional camera, you take pictures on a roll of film which generates negatives. You take those negatives and get them developed, but you always have the negatives. So of the Polaroid, you never had negatives. But the point is that that picture you snapped is the only copy of that that ever existed. 00:21:49:17 – 00:22:14:29
Joseph
The notion of that doesn’t exist anymore. Yeah. As soon as you push that shutter button on your phone, there’s probably 5 to 15 copies of that. Somewhere within the next 2 minutes. So you have to keep that in mind. The technology right now is geared towards distribution and backups, so there’s no such thing as privacy when it comes to that. 00:22:15:01 – 00:22:15:28
Madison
Yeah. 00:22:16:00 – 00:22:36:29
Joseph
So that’s very important to keep in mind. And the other thing they talk about, it’s a very simple rule. Don’t take pictures of anything that you would want your parents or friends or teachers or anyone else to see, even if you do it for yourself. It’s probably not a good idea with the technology that you have today. 00:22:37:01 – 00:22:37:23
Madison
Yeah. 00:22:37:25 – 00:22:58:20
Joseph
Because it’s so persistent. You know, we’re kind of a victim of our own success when it comes to the technology today, because we’re so geared towards back up everything. Everything needs to be backed up 12 times. I’m just as bad the way I back up our data. You know, we’ve got five local copies over here just because I’m paranoid about losing family photos. 00:22:58:26 – 00:23:00:26
Madison
Yeah. 00:23:00:28 – 00:23:07:14
Joseph
What do you think? Do you think that the technology today makes sexting too easy and too dangerous? 00:23:07:16 – 00:23:38:21
Madison
Yeah, definitely. Because it it certainly makes a lot more dangerous because, well, there’s millions of copy. There’s going to be like tons of copies of an image you sent. And it could go to literally anybody, including predators. And the idea that you also have the ability of that technology and just easily message somebody that also, you know, it makes it too easy and it’s just too dangerous in general. 00:23:38:21 – 00:23:45:26
Madison
But the technology and the ways of how that of fast communication and consistent back up. 00:23:45:28 – 00:24:14:21
Joseph
What are your thoughts on the on the legal consequences because you’re on the right team. If you engaged in this act with somebody and sent someone else a you know, an inappropriate picture of yourself, you’d be legally liable for that. That would technically be child pornography, even though you’re the one who technically would be victimized. There. Does that. 00:24:14:23 – 00:24:21:20
Joseph
I mean, it terrifies me. But does it scare you at all to think that something like that could happen to you? 00:24:21:22 – 00:24:49:17
Madison
Yeah. Kind of follows the same rule. I remember my school having, which I always kind of thought wasn’t all that fair was the idea of how, like, if a person is fighting you, if you fight back, you’re just as guilty as the other person, which I wouldn’t say is the most fair thing to say. Like if you just got bullied consistently for like years and never actually fought back and then fought back one time and then you were entirely punished. 00:24:49:19 – 00:24:57:22
Madison
Like I’d say that that’s a bit extreme too. Like, of the same punishment to the person that got beat up as the person that beat them up. 00:24:57:29 – 00:24:58:13
Joseph
Right. 00:24:58:20 – 00:25:22:29
Madison
And, you know, I never liked the idea of victim blaming and like, sure, if they actively engaged in it, even if they were considered to be the minor, it’s like, okay, I guess. But like even just receive it when you when it was completely unwanted and still being liable to a crime for it. It’s just not that seems messed up. 00:25:23:06 – 00:25:35:28
Joseph
Yeah, it’s a little extreme, but I think they kind of do that almost as a scared straight type thing to to kind of really hammer home the significance of it to kids. I don’t know. I don’t know what the motivation is behind it. 00:25:36:00 – 00:25:51:08
Madison
Yeah. I mean, I’m I’m all for like actually having legal accountability for this sort of thing. A especially if, you know, minors are involved with it. It’s just I don’t know, it seems to kind of push the extremes on occasion. 00:25:51:15 – 00:26:19:15
Joseph
It does. But I think I think the motivation is understandable. The the law enforcement does not mean authorities and parents and everyone else doesn’t want kids getting involved in stuff like this because of how dangerous it is. So they just may be pushing the boundaries too far to punish the kids who do get involved in it when really the kids are the ones that are being victimized. 00:26:19:21 – 00:26:42:08
Joseph
And what you need to do is you need to punish the people. And they do. They punish the people that are pressuring the kids into doing these types of things. But sometimes they’re other kids and it’s, you know, it’s a it’s a very difficult situation. Once you go down that path, it’s a very difficult situation to navigate. So we’re going to take our second break. 00:26:42:08 – 00:27:03:27
Joseph
And when we come back, we’re going to talk a little bit about well, we’re going to talk a lot about the consequences of the actual real life consequences that can come from sexting. We’ll be we’ll be right back. 00:27:03:29 – 00:27:35:28
Michelle
Insights into entertainment, a podcast series taking a deeper look into entertainment and media. Our husband and wife team of pop culture fanatics are exploring all things from music and movies to television and fandom. We’ll look at the interesting and obscure entertainment news of the week. We’ll talk about theme park and pop culture news. We’ll give you the latest and greatest on pop culture conventions. 00:27:36:00 – 00:28:06:14
Michelle
We’ll give you a deep dive into Disney, Star Wars and much more. Check out our video episodes at YouTube.com. Backslash Insights into things are audio episodes at podcast. Insights into entertainment dot com or check us out on the web at insights into things Icon. 00:28:06:17 – 00:28:43:17
Joseph
In this segment, we’re going to discuss news article that involved the suicide of a young man. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide again, we ask you to please contact the Suicide and crisis Lifeline at nine eight or at one 800 2738255. Jordan Tami was a 17 year old high school student and football player whom his father, John Dumais, described as, quote, smart. 00:28:43:19 – 00:28:48:05
Joseph
He was a good student and he was a great athlete. 00:28:48:08 – 00:29:13:00
Madison
The teenager began chatting with someone he thought was a woman on Instagram. The account was real but had been hacked and sold to a 22 year old Nigerian man named Samuel Agassi, who posed as a woman user profile to coerce young men into sending explicit photos of themselves. He allegedly used the photos as leverage for money, according to the FBI. 00:29:13:03 – 00:29:30:15
Madison
Jordan fell victim to this version of extortion, which is termed sextortion. The 17 year old football players tragic fate is not uncommon in America and across the world. Teens across the U.S. are falling victim to sextortion on social media. 00:29:30:18 – 00:30:10:14
Joseph
Jordan’s father described the attack as, quote, Someone came into his bedroom at three in the morning and murdered him through Instagram. When we were all sleeping at night and we had zero chance to stop it. John, to me, is sounding the alarm about sextortion after his 17 year old son, Jordan, died by suicide last year. The suspect in Jordan’s death is one of three suspects from Las Vegas arrested recently for allegedly hacking Instagram accounts and sexually extorting or extorting more than 100 men online. 00:30:10:16 – 00:30:30:23
Madison
The FBI defines sextortion as a serious crime in which the perpetrators threaten to expose the victim’s sensitive or private information in exchange for sexually explicit material or money. 00:30:30:26 – 00:31:00:03
Joseph
The gang she threatened to distribute, the explicit pictures the 17 year old sent to the compromised account of Jordan. If Jordan didn’t pay him a ransom, the attacker demanded $1,000. Jordan sent 300. And the attacker threatened to expose the victim to his family and friends if he didn’t send more. Distraught and not sure what to do. Jordan message Agassi telling him he was going to kill himself. 00:31:00:05 – 00:31:10:06
Joseph
Good God, she responded. Do that fast or I’ll make you do it. Jordan, to me, did do it. 00:31:10:08 – 00:31:48:24
Madison
A 2018 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, or James a hundred Pediatrics, found that nearly 15% of U.S. youth were sending sext or sexual texts, while 27% of youth were receiving them. The perpetrators pose as real people, often as attractive women or men online and target young and vulnerable victims. They will reach out directly to victims and strike up an online conversation, gain the victim trust one way or another, and convinced them to send nude photos. 00:31:48:27 – 00:32:04:02
Madison
Once the photos are exchanged. The perpetrators threaten to share them and make them public if the victims do not send money or other personal information or more explicit images. The scheme pushes some teens beyond their breaking point. 00:32:04:05 – 00:32:34:01
Joseph
Jordan’s father said he encourages parents and teenagers to learn about the risks of sextortion and have a plan in place if it happens to them or someone they know. Specifically, he advises victims to turn off their phones and contact law enforcement or the FBI immediately. He also said he would tell Jordan every single day if he had a chance that threats from the extortionists were not the end of his life. 00:32:34:04 – 00:32:45:08
Joseph
He goes on to say, The kids have just have to just understand that this isn’t the end of whatever they think is their life, because it’s not to be explained. 00:32:45:10 – 00:33:11:11
Madison
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s Cyber Tipline received about 32 million reports of suspected child exploitation in 2022. The online incitement category of the cyber tip line saw an 82% increase in complaints between 2021 and 2022. 00:33:11:13 – 00:33:52:29
Joseph
The FBI encourages anyone who believes they are victims of sextortion or knows someone who may be to contact their local FBI office or toll free At one 800 call FBI. So this obviously is an extreme case of consequences as a result of of sexting. We talked about some of the other potential downfalls of sexting. But when I read this article of being a parent and being a parent of a child who’s of this age range, it kind of struck a nerve with me. 00:33:53:02 – 00:34:23:25
Joseph
And it’s looking at these statistics about the 82% increase in in complaints in just over a year. It’s a real problem. There’s there’s there’s I mean, it’s going to sound cliche, but there’s bad people out there. There’s bad people on the Internet and they’re going to do things, nefarious things, to try to get money from you, to do something, to just do things maliciously. 00:34:23:26 – 00:34:53:24
Joseph
People just they’re just evil in and they’ll do things to to harm you or to get you to harm yourself, not necessarily for any financial motive at all. And I thought if there’s anything that we do on this podcast, it’s we try to be positive. We try to be upbeat. We try to teach kids and parents how to get through some of these difficult things. 00:34:53:24 – 00:35:19:00
Joseph
And and I read the quotes about Jordan’s father here, and I can almost echo those thoughts myself. And and I thought maybe we might have a chance to to maybe reach out and and help educate other people about this and to try to prevent something like this. What are your thoughts? 00:35:19:03 – 00:35:51:26
Madison
Yeah, honestly, I believe the same thing. Like, we always try to make sure that we keep everything lighthearted because we’ve talked about darker topics in the past and we’ve always tried to at least bring some lightheartedness to the situations while still not downplaying the severity, all of them. And I do think that bringing more awareness to this is the best way that we can stop it. 00:35:51:28 – 00:36:08:15
Madison
It’s how we can stop anything. Pretty much bad from happening is try to bring more awareness to it, because if more people know about it, there’s going to be more people willing to stop it or at least be aware of it so that it doesn’t happen as often. 00:36:08:18 – 00:36:32:06
Joseph
I would agree with you 110%. I think I think mission accomplished today. I don’t want to drag this out too far. And it was kind of a dark topic. We usually are not quite this low key, but I wanted to make sure we treated this subject with the respect that it deserved. I think we’re going to forego the the closing remarks. 00:36:32:06 – 00:37:00:25
Joseph
I think what you just told us there, I think very easily summed up the overall sentiment we have here. Before we do go now, I did want to throw some quick plugs out there and just to remind folks to subscribe to the podcast. You can find audio versions of this podcast listed as insights into teens and you can find audio and visual of all the network’s podcasts listed as insights into things. 00:37:00:27 – 00:37:25:13
Joseph
And we’re available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, iHeart Radio. Tune in pretty much anywhere you get a podcast. I would also invite you to write in and give us your feedback. Give us your thoughts on the subject. And I’d be very interested to hear what our listeners have to say about the today’s talk. You can email us your comments and insights into things dot com. 00:37:25:15 – 00:37:48:18
Joseph
You can find us on Twitter and insights underscore things we’re ex whatever it’s called now. You can also find it streaming five days a week on Twitch and Twitch dot TV’s insights into things where you can find links to all that and more on our official website at WW w dot insights into things dot com and you. 00:37:48:20 – 00:37:56:16
Madison
And don’t forget to check out our other two podcasts insight and entertainment hosted by Young Mommy and intentional tomorrow hosted by you and my brother Sam. 00:37:56:21 – 00:37:59:03
Joseph
And that’s it. Another one in the books by everyone.