Insights Into Teens: Episode 48 “Going off Script”

Insights Into Teens

This week we take a bit of a detour from our regularly scheduled program and talk about the rough week that Maddie had. Encountering some of the typical issues that teens face like school stress, social anxiety, sleep issues, not feeling too well and a few other things we decided it was best to turn this into a bit of a rant and therapy session for Madison.

This was a multi-purpose episode this week. Not only were we trying to console Madison and help her cope with some of the issues that came up. Since what she was encountering was pretty typical of most teens, we thought our audience might benefit from hearing a first hand account of these challenges and possible ways to cope with them to get through weeks that just never seem to end.

Insights Into Teens

Transcription

Speaker 1: 00:02 Insightful podcast, a podcast network.

Speaker 2: 00:26 Welcome to insights into teens, a podcast series, exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison, Whalen, a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges of the teenage years.

Speaker 4: 00:51 Welcome to insights into teens. This is episode 48 going off script. I’m your host, Joseph Raelynn and my vibrant and illustrious cohost, Madison Wayland. Hello. And I don’t know what the second one. So this week we did have a show researched and prepared. We decided to kind of push that one back because you didn’t have a very good week this week. So I thought it would be best if we just sort of took a step back reflected on the week, talked about the things that are bothering you. Cause I think a lot of the things that you had faced this week that kinda got on your nerves or bringing it down, I think a lot of teens out there face that sort of these sorts of issues. And you know, normally our podcast focus on one topic and we dive deep into that. And, and we pick it apart. And it’s always a relevant topic, the teens.

Speaker 4: 02:03 But we very rarely get a chance to just sit down and, and talk about what this week was like. You know, this was a challenging week. So I think we’re going to dedicate the show to that this week. We’ll talk about some of these things that are fairly common obstacles that teens run into. And then we’ll talk about how we cope with some of these things. And hopefully it’ll, it’ll be therapeutic for you and you know, depending on, on who’s watching or listening out there, it might be therapeutic for someone else as well. But I think, I think it makes it relatable when this type of thing is coming from, from you. I mean you just went through these things here, so I think, and I think it’ll be helpful. Yeah. Shall we get started? Okay. So let us start. So I figured we’ll do it. Sort of a question in the answer. I know we did prep a little bit beforehand about some of the topics. So I’m just going to kind of kinda lead the discussion and we’ll just turn it into an interview with you. Okay. So first question is how was your week?

Speaker 5: 03:23 Definitely not one of my best weeks. I definitely didn’t want most of the stuff to happen on the week where I came back from a pretty long break. Honestly, the week could have been better.

Speaker 4: 03:34 Right. So this was your first full week back at school? We had a short couple of days at the tail end last week. And I have to imagine our, your schedule was still kind of a little screwed up from a long vacation, late hours, stuff like that. How, how was the first full week, you know, why don’t you give us an idea of some of the things that you ran into?

Speaker 5: 04:00 I mean, the main problems I ran into were like my emotional and stress status. They were the highest level of problems that I had to encounter.

Speaker 4: 04:14 So what do you think is driving the emotional side right now?

Speaker 5: 04:18 Well, first off it was the first it was the first week back from a pretty long break. So that could have something to do with that. Plus, I am going through the midst of my monthly now, which also probably had a tie into this, mommy actually mentioned a few times that it might be, might also be because my monthly was coming. And guess what? Like always choose, right?

Speaker 4: 04:45 Yeah. Well, and that’s the thing. I mean when this happens, you feel a significant amount of physical discomfort and because of the charge hormones and everything that you go through here, it’s a very emotionally taxing a week or so that you go through here. But let’s talk about the emotional side of things for a minute. So what is it emotionally that, that has set you off this weekend? And like I said before, don’t mean names, but just give a an example.

Speaker 5: 05:20 Well, the first example I would be able to give was that my sleep habits when I first had to go back to sleep and wake up at six and clock in the morning when I had to get back in that, that schedule, that night I could barely sleep because I ended up getting just having an emotional breakdown and I had no idea why I was causing it. I kept telling myself I needed to go to sleep, but like I just couldn’t go to sleep. I just kept on crying and I didn’t know what to do.

Speaker 4: 05:57 So part of the problem you ran into was a frustration of not being able to go to sleep and dealing with the charged emotions from not, cause I know how frustrating it can be when you, you have to go to sleep at a certain time, you go up to bed and for whatever reason your brain just doesn’t want you to sleep and it gets frustrating, you know, and you find that your up hours past when you’re supposed to be up and then it has a physical effect the next morning. That’s sort of what you ran into this week.

Speaker 5: 06:29 Actually, the weirdest thing is that night that I had a pretty bad sleep. I was like awake in the morning, but the rest of the nights when I actually got a good sleep, I was just like not feeling in the morning and it was the weirdest thing

Speaker 4: 06:44 And is strange. So let’s talk about, aside from the fatigue aspect of not sleeping emotionally, what sets you off? Is it people being annoying? Is it too much work? What did someone say something to you? Was somebody mean to you? What was the emotional trigger points for you this week?

Speaker 5: 07:06 Most of the emotional triggers or trigger points were just people being annoying. And just the workload and just regular occurrences that, that will happen that just set me off.

Speaker 4: 07:24 Now, are these things that under normal circumstances, they don’t really set you off? Do you just sort of tolerate them, but because of, you know, being on your period, is it big? Is it, is that escalating those things that would normally just be annoying, making them unbearable instead?

Speaker 5: 07:47 Well, sometimes I don’t really notice too many annoying people. I mean, I always noticed knowing people, but they’re normally tolerable, but for some reason they, this week they were just unbearable and I couldn’t take it. But I’m pretty sure with the workload, if I wasn’t going through my monthly, I would probably still be stressed about it.

Speaker 4: 08:11 Okay. Now are you, are you fatigued as a result of coming back from vacation? Like are you tired, are you not catching up with sleep and then the inability to sleep? Is it just that you’re overall tired as well?

Speaker 5: 08:28 I mean after the one night where I could barely get any sleep, I was actually able to get up pretty decent amount of sleep the rest of the week. But along with the fact that my mum three, it also tends to make me drowsy. So today and yesterday I was pretty drowsy, so I’m sure you

Speaker 4: 08:51 Sort of find yourself nodding often in class a little bit or something like that.

Speaker 5: 08:56 Well, not really. It’s just I find myself getting more tired. Like during gym I could find myself sweating quicker. Plus there was the heater on apparently. And I still have no idea why they, they had the heater on. You know, that frustrates me. That’s one of the things that frustrated me today.

Speaker 4: 09:15 Right. Okay. So on top of that you said you weren’t feeling well, right? So what are you having abdominal pain, having headaches?

Speaker 5: 09:26 Well, yesterday I had small cramps and a headache. Today I’m experiencing just as though I have a stomach ache and for some reason life was extra hungry. Today. Like right now I don’t know if my stomach wants me to eat or if it’s too full. I honestly don’t know.

Speaker 4: 09:48 Okay. So just general discomfort then. Now I know earlier in the week you did have an orthodontist appointment, they made an adjustment to your braces and you did have some discomfort from that. How has that played into as a factor in how this week is going for you?

Speaker 5: 10:09 I mean, it’s been kind of hard to eat, especially the first few days. I like when I, w when I had grapes the day after I had my orthodontist appointment, I couldn’t eat them because every time I tried to bite down my teeth would hurt. So and of course, but for some reason this one spring, sometimes when I would talk my lip would get caught on the spring, which, you know, hurts at one point I couldn’t take it and I just took a piece of tissue and put it right where the spring was so my lip wouldn’t get caught. And that’s what I normally do after. If they have big adjustments to my mouth, I would just put it where it hurts so it doesn’t touch it.

Speaker 4: 10:52 Did you have any of the wax that you would use on your braces for band or anything that you could use?

Speaker 5: 10:59 No. They were in my trumpet and by that point my trumpet was back at school when I realized I could actually do that thanks to mommy. So I just used the tissue.

Speaker 4: 11:10 Okay. So that, that kind of bugs you earlier in the week you’re kind of having some stomach issues aside from that. Anything else bothering you physically you’re not, you don’t have a cold or anything like that?

Speaker 5: 11:22 No, I haven’t been sick, which is kinda good. This year I really haven’t gotten sick. It’s just a few sneezes here and there. Probably just, you know, changes season.

Speaker 4: 11:32 So let’s talk about the ever popular gym class. I know almost every day you have something that frustrates you in gym class, so why don’t you tell us a little bit about some of the frustrations you’ve run into this week at gym class?

Speaker 5: 11:50 Well, when we, we have to change, I changed near girls who just will not shut up. Okay. They just go on and on talking and I’m just like, in my brain, I’m always like, when will they shut up? When will they shut up? When would they shut up? Like I just want them to be quiet for once.

Speaker 4: 12:13 Is it, are they saying things to make fun of you or they’re deliberately trying to get on your nerves?

Speaker 5: 12:19 I honestly don’t know if they’re deliberately trying to get on my nerves because they don’t actually talk to me, but they just frequently annoy me. They’re just so obnoxious. And I think ma and I think like when I stand in line and there’s still like changing and talking, mainly I can just tell that they’re the loudest group

Speaker 4: 12:41 Now. Do they see that they’re getting some kind of reaction out of you when when they do this?

Speaker 5: 12:47 I never tried to give him a reaction, but today I just couldn’t take it and I started heavy breathing and just my mind was racing with just like frustrated thoughts. Okay.

Speaker 4: 13:00 And you know, we’ll talk on the next segment about how we can sort of cope with some of these things. So you also mentioned one of the things that’s been wearing on you has been schoolwork, stress. Is that homework? Is that lots of projects?

Speaker 5: 13:19 Thing is, it’s a lot of projects now. Now it’s not to do with my big projects for math and ELA, like my math menu, well not my math menu, my ELA menu and my math. I’m working period two projects, they’re fine. I got plenty of time to finish them. I’m actually almost done with, I’m actually pretty much done with them. It’s just the ones that I have like a week deadline, which frustrate me. I mean they’re the group projects. I don’t really mind the groups, it’s just the deadlines being so close and having to do a lot of work.

Speaker 4: 13:57 So when you say a week deadline, when you get the project, you’re only given a week to do it.

Speaker 5: 14:01 I mean I’m given a couple extra days for the week, but like I have my ELA S I N argumentative essay, which is five paragraphs on what

Speaker 4: 14:13 Argument and they’ve never

Speaker 5: 14:15 Really, so we have to do an argument of essay on self driving cars, whether they’re good or bad or should happen or not happen.

Speaker 4: 14:24 Fans do you like running people over and then they’re good.

Speaker 5: 14:28 Yeah. Nice. So and we had like nine days to do it. And that was actually the thing that frustrated me in ELA today. Like when I was trying to work people just super obnoxious. They were just talking so loud and I just couldn’t take it.

Speaker 4: 14:48 So you had mentioned these are group projects, right?

Speaker 5: 14:50 Well, the only one that was, well my one band project and my history project, they were both group projects, but the lay one was just do it on your own.

Speaker 4: 15:02 Okay. And the only time that they give you the, they give you time in class to do this?

Speaker 5: 15:08 Yeah, it’s just, I don’t feel like it’s enough time for me. I kind of want to make sure I have good work and it kind of takes me a while.

Speaker 4: 15:17 And can you do this outside of ?

Speaker 5: 15:19 Yes, I can, but that also gives me more stressed when I have to do homework.

Speaker 4: 15:25 Okay. I could see that

Speaker 5: 15:27 On top of my math. I also have other things. Plus if I don’t finish what I need to get done in class because in ELA we also have our centers that we need to get done. And if I can’t finish them then I also have to do them for homework along with my E L I S I and it’s just been kind of stressful on me.

Speaker 4: 15:46 So has this week been a lot of excess homework? Is that it?

Speaker 5: 15:52 I mean it’s technically not meant to be homework. It’s like projects, but they’ve just been just throwing stuff out, piling up on. Yeah. Yeah. It’s just like we’re having a lot of important grades going on in F in pretty much every single one of my classes. Like my math test is kind of soon. I after my one his after I have to finish the history part project, then we also soon have the test coming up along with our, we have like contents of the work we do and he checks them every marking period. And in ELA we have I men menu along with apparently the state test region, which is in a couple of weeks. And of course the ESSA is also due soon. And my math projects also do as well. Just a lot of debt and just,

Speaker 4: 16:49 Well, and, and I totally, I totally understand how quickly this can get overwhelming. What I did want to offer was kind of a parallel to the real world. So for me at work I usually have one or two projects going on at a time. Having to juggle those and make sure they get done and get everyone on board with it and keep the schedules going and everything. Well, this January I’ve got four major projects going on and these are four projects across two companies for a value of probably about a half a million dollars invested in all of them. So what you’re going through now is stressful, but there’s a value in what you’re going through because it’s going to prepare you initially for what you’re going to do in college, but ultimately for what you’re going to do in the real world. You know how like we try to, when we talk about math and we try to relate math to real world issues so that you can kind of understand how important it is, this type of thing, time management, project management, all this type of stuff has a very real impact on the real world too.

Speaker 4: 18:14 This is, these are all the skills that I use at work. You know, we have a new phone system we’re putting in. We have a new software system that runs the whole company that we’re putting in. We have a new facility that we’re opening in taxes, which is, you know, 1600 miles away that we have to manage. I have numerous contracts, annual contracts that are coming up that I have to negotiate through. So, so all the stuff that you’re going through now is really, it’s exercising your brain and had to deal with stressful project management type things because that’s what you’re going to run into in the real world. So it’s, it’s all stuff that you’re going to get stressed out with now and ultimately it’s rather low impact consequences now. But as you get older and as you progress through school and through college and into professional life, those consequences get higher and higher.

Speaker 4: 19:14 Now the rewards get much higher as well. So you’ll start seeing those rewards become proportional to the consequences. But everything that you’re going through now is really a life lesson. It’s not just a matter of let’s throw everything at you and get you overwhelmed cause we have to get through a school year. It’s seeing how you cope with things and teaching you how to, how to deal with them and teaching you how to break complex things down in the smaller piece is all stuff we’ll talk about in a little bit. But it’s funny cause I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed right now with all the things that I’m doing at work and all the stuff that you’re talking about right now is what I’m going through. Like today I was working on one portion of the project and it seems like every five minutes somebody was knocking on my door with a question or needing me to do something or fix something and it got to the point that there was just so many interruptions that I couldn’t even work today.

Speaker 4: 20:13 And a lot of this week has been that way since I’ve got back from vacation and everyone’s kicking back into high gear. So it’s funny how what you’re dealing with at school right now is such a direct parallel to what my work has been like this week too. So I thought this, this discussion kinda could benefit from, from that clarity. So, okay. So we talked about coming back from your first week, we talked about emotional and physical unwellness. We talked about what frustrated you, gym, class, schoolwork, stress, orthodontist and sleeping habits. So that’s everything that we had written down about what this week is entailed. Is there anything else that we’ve missed that we need to include? Any things that just came to mind? Anything like that?

Speaker 4: 21:11 Or do we pretty much cover everything that made that we have rough week, pretty much covered most of it all right. Before we move on to how you coped with these things or didn’t cope with them, what, what good things happen this week? Let’s talk about that. Let’s focus on the positives for a little bit. You tell me what good things happen to you this week.

Speaker 5: 21:32 I mean, I was able to talk to them. I was able to see my friend Chris Morris since we were in school together. We also are, we also started a little role play thing where we basically are two different characters and when we text each other, we’re basically those two characters. And it’s just like having conversations but in the, in a fantasy world.

Speaker 4: 22:01 Okay. That’s kinda cool.

Speaker 5: 22:02 Yeah, that was nice. I’ve also been able to see and talk to some of my other friends who I weren’t, who I wasn’t able to talk to over break.

Speaker 4: 22:16 Now have you found the additional interaction with your friends has helped you cope with some of these issues this week?

Speaker 5: 22:24 In some way? Yes.

Speaker 4: 22:26 Okay. Well that’s good. That’s, that’s certainly a nice refuge to have someone that you can turn to. What other good things have happened to you this week? How about any consequences? One of the things we’re going to talk about is, is limiting your screen time. What good consequences have come from that?

Speaker 5: 22:44 Oh yeah. Me and mommy, I’ve started doing our movie hour every night after, after eight o’clock. Bef before nine o’clock. When I go to bed, we will choose a movie on Disney plus and start watching it. Honestly, that’s definitely better than me just trying to find something to do because I’m not gonna sit there for an hour just, just going through my thoughts. I can do because well, who wants to go through their thoughts?

Speaker 4: 23:12 Well that’s kinda cool that you get to spend some extra time with mommy. So that week wasn’t all that bad. You had some, some high notes to the week then. Yeah. Good. So let’s take a little break. When we come back we’ll talk about what you have done or what you can do to cope with some of the things that you’ve run into. So the first thing that we wanted to talk about was talking about the issues. So one the therapeutic things that we do and really what this podcast is focused on is dissecting the things that are causing you stress or anxiety or worry or frustration or whatever and talking about them. So expound on that a little bit. How, how do we use talking as a tool for that and what kind of effect does it tend to have for you?

Speaker 5: 24:10 I mean, before when I was going through the same thing in sixth grade when we got home, we’d always like go into the basement with you. And if I had a really rough day, I’d talk about it with you guys, even though I really can’t meet you guys in person. The first thing. I would always make sure to call you guys and mention how my problems went and you guys would always try to find the quickest solution to it.

Speaker 4: 24:34 Yeah. Fun. And the thing is, is that when you talk about stuff, we might not always have the solutions some problems or things that you need to solve yourself. Some problems are beyond our understanding, but sometimes just talking about it allows you to, to look at the problem, step back and look at it from a different perspective. And it helps to put it into context. Like one of the things that we try to do is balance. And I don’t want to sound all, you know, Jed, I like with this, but one of the things we try to do is balance the good with the bad, which is what we just did in the last segment. So this bad thing happened, this bad thing happened, this bad thing. But this good thing happened to and this good thing happens. So it kind of helps to balance things out.

Speaker 4: 25:23 But talking about it when things happen to you allows you to have a different perspective and be a little bit more objective in thinking about these things. And that objectivity allows you to maybe come up with a way of dealing with it or an answer to a problem or something like that. It’s that ability to, to step back from something when you’re too close to it and, and a week when you have all these things happening at one time, you really are too close to it to really see it for the whole that it is for the whole picture that it is you, you kind of need what we tend to call in a professional term of 30,000 foot view. Right? Have you ever heard that term before? So think of an airplane. Okay. You’ve been on a plane before and when the planes on the ground and you look at things, things are big and they’re close to you and they’re upping your face.

Speaker 4: 26:23 So if you’re sitting on that runway, you can’t really see too far beyond the edge of the airport. But when the plane takes off at the 30,000 foot level, you can see a whole lot more when you look out the window and you can take in the fact that that airport was really insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but you don’t get to see all the detail. So it helps you to put things into perspective that even though I’m running into a problem in this area here that’s really small compared to the rest of my life. So it helps to put that in the perspective we talked about distracting from the issues. What are some of the ways that you distract yourself from the issues that you run into?

Speaker 5: 27:06 Well, most of the time I just take out my phone and wants to go on Q to video or I just sit down and think about my thoughts or,

Speaker 4: 27:16 And is that the, to not think about the things that are bothering you and take a sort of break from it?

Speaker 5: 27:22 Yeah, I like listening to music. I would always listen to music and let my imagination wander with the songs

Speaker 4: 27:28 I and, and that’s sort of what I do, especially like if I’m walking or something like that or exercising, you know, you listen to music and it sort of takes you outside of where you are right now and you don’t have to deal with the troubles that, that are pressing down on you. What else do you do to distract?

Speaker 5: 27:49 I always try to talk with you guys and see how your day was to distract myself from. If I had a bad day, I would always go to a cat, say hello Pedit and just,

Speaker 4: 28:03 Yeah, we, we take solace in our pets and now I have a rough day and I’m not the type of person who typically talks about his day. When I get done at work, if I had a bad day at work, I just want to come home and, and be done with it and recharge and go back. So I’m not the type of person who really talks stuff through. Mommy is the kind of the opposite. When mommy has a bad day, she wants to talk about it. And you know, over the years I’ve learned to just listen and shut up basically. You know, in the early days I’m the type of version that I’m a problem solver. So when I hear someone tell me a problem, my brain automatically kicks into that problem solving mode. And I try to figure out solutions. And that’s, you know, in mommy’s case that’s really not what she wants.

Speaker 4: 28:58 Mommy just needs to sort of unload and that’s how she decompresses and distresses and she just needs someone to listen. And, and over the years I’ve kind of learned to do that. You know, I’ll listen, I’ll ask questions, you know, and, and sometimes I try to steer her conversations a little bit if, if she’s getting, cause sometimes when mommy talks about something, she’ll get agitated about it. And if I see that happening, I’ll try and steer her away from that and, and guide the conversation. But I’ve, I’ve learned my lesson to try not solve any mommy’s problems at this point and she just needs to unload. And sometimes that might just be what you need. You might need to just come in and unload. Like, man, you know, Susie’s really annoying this today. And she just wouldn’t shut up. And she kept annoying me. And, and, and that might be all you need to do.

Speaker 4: 29:53 I can’t solve that problem for you. You know, that’s sort of what you did to me on the call that we had or, or earlier this week, and I couldn’t help you. So I kind of went into that mode again. But I think you just needed to do what mommy needs to do is from time to time and blow off a little steam and, and there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s, you know, I gave you before they’d steam kettle analogy where a steam cattle, you put water in, you put fire on it and the water starts to boil. Well then that causes a steam kettle to whistle as it comes out. But you cap the spout, that pressure builds up and builds up, and if he can’t release, it explodes. So if you can have your little steam kettle whistle there and you can let off a little bit of steam, then it doesn’t get overwhelming. So you also talked about getting some extra rest and medication for the discomfort and maybe even some change in eating habits. Talk about that a little bit.

Speaker 5: 31:03 Well, what I normally do to fix the problems that go on with my stomach. Mommy normally always recommends medication because that’s the best solution, mainly because pain medicine will normally help my stomach

Speaker 4: 31:23 And we’re talking, we’re not talking prescription style, we’re just talking a Tylenol pill, a Tylenol or something like that for that, for the pain.

Speaker 5: 31:33 And with the change in eating habits, mommy for instance, normally when we have Chinese on Fridays, I would get like chicken fingers, but mommy said to stay still clear from them and decided instead I should have some soup. And I was okay with that.

Speaker 4: 31:48 Yeah. And I, and I think Molly was spot on with that one, especially if your stomach is upset, you know, the last thing you need is greasy chicken fingers sitting in your stomach right now. A little bit of soup in there will help to soothe it. So dr mom strikes again. So we also talked about taking a step back and thinking calming thoughts. So tell us a little bit about that. When does that help and how do you go about doing that?

Speaker 5: 32:19 Well, for instance, if I’m trying to work on something and people are just being really loud and obnoxious, I stopped working for a little bit. I’m close my eyes, massage my head and just try to calm my breathing and thing and just think, try to think of calming. Okay. And eventually I’ll calm myself down and get back to work.

Speaker 4: 32:43 And I think that’s really the best way to do things. What’s the one thing that I’d tell you when something happens and you start to get upset,

Speaker 5: 32:52 You always tell me to stop and thing and think logically, right?

Speaker 4: 32:58 Think logically. Work the problem getting upset and it’s human nature. You know, we can’t help but get upset, but we have to recognize when we are, I mean, you’ve seen me, you know, I could be downstairs working on something for the computer and I know how to do it and for some reason it’s not doing what it’s supposed to do. And I get angry and I yell at it and, and realize I’m making an idiot of myself and I have to take a step back and I have to walk away. I have to calm down and then I can go back to it. And miraculously, once I go back through it with a calm head, I can get it to work. So I think that’s a very good idea. The other thing we talked about was regarding big projects. We talked about you had a lot of projects that were due. I have a lot of projects that are coming up. So in dealing with those, we talked about take small breaks over doing them and breaking big projects into smaller tasks. So give us a little bit about how you do that.

Speaker 5: 34:13 Well, normally I would always find like if I’m doing a good project, we’ll split the workup. Even like occasionally I’ll probably get like the slightly extra work because you know, I’m that kind of person that dependable. Yup. Yeah. and I’ll end like for, and that’s basically how we do it. With that. We just make sure we do our part and for like any reading assignments that I do I always think, well, how many days do I need to get the book done in order to do this? So I have the number of days and I have the number of pages I divide them and figure out how many pages I need to read per day.

Speaker 4: 35:00 So it’s just a simple mathematical equation of that for him.

Speaker 5: 35:03 Yeah. And I normally can finish early because normally the mathematical equation always ends up turning the number into a decimal. Okay.

Speaker 4: 35:13 And I’ll tell you, I do sort of the same thing, like the one project, the big project that we have now, we’ve spent three months just working on the proposal and getting the numbers right and all that stuff. And the rollout of this project is going to take about six months and what we did was we took that project, we broke it down into three phases, and then those phases are then broken down into tasks and as you execute and complete one task you can move onto the next and the next and then each phase has a deliverable that the next phase is dependent on. So I can’t start phase two until phase one is done, so I can check all the boxes on phase one. I get my whatever it is that I need to produce here and I take it the face too. So it takes that six month process breaks down into a one or two week tasks and makes it more manageable.

Speaker 5: 36:11 Yeah, that’s sort of what I did with my mum math project. Like when we were on vacation I decided to split up. Okay, I’m going to do five slides today and have like just some information that I need to include and then I’ll fix it up later. They don’t do the other five slides tomorrow and then I’ll do, and then I’ll fix up some slides. Today, then figure out how many I want to do the next days.

Speaker 4: 36:39 And that’s the smart way to doing. And then those big scary projects aren’t so scary anymore. So we talked about meditation, relaxation techniques. Tell us a little bit about how you meditate.

Speaker 5: 36:59 Well, most of the times when I meditate I just make sure I take some deep breaths. I don’t actually like have any movements for it.

Speaker 4: 37:08 Okay. So you’re not doing transcendental meditation or no, nothing like that?

Speaker 5: 37:14 I don’t think so, no. And sometimes if I really need help sleeping, I would normally just turn on some meditation music to help calm me down.

Speaker 4: 37:25 Okay. So for sleeping, you do a little bit of meditation, some breathing exercises. What are some of the breathing exercises you do?

Speaker 5: 37:34 It’s normally just like a deep, like take a deep breath, hold it, and then let it out and just repeat a few times. That normally helps calm me down. I’ve never actually had to go on an any farther than that, which is kind of good.

Speaker 4: 37:49 Good, good. So you also say you listen to music. Now, I’m guessing this isn’t the kind of music you listen to throughout the day. So meditation, music, what kind of calming music is it that you listen to?

Speaker 5: 38:02 It’s well, like the meditation music? Yeah. Well normally sometimes I would just like find meditation music on YouTube. And it’s almost like calming music along with, and the one I was watching had common pictures as well, so.

Speaker 4: 38:20 Okay. So like a lot of anger. Huh? You don’t know. Okay. I’ll show you anger after this. What else? You do a little bit of reading. Very little.

Speaker 5: 38:33 Well no, I actually do that. Little reading. I only do it mainly just to try to get myself into the zone. Calm my brain, you know, I have my book I need to read for ELA, so I just read my book.

Speaker 4: 38:51 Now do you find reading helps you get the sleep? Cause that’s one of the techniques and I used to go to sleep.

Speaker 5: 38:56 Yeah. Like I read for an hour and I’m like pretty drowsy by then so I can just put the book down, turn over. And after about 30 minutes or so I’ll fall asleep. Okay.

Speaker 4: 39:08 Okay. And one of the things we did Institute since we came back from vacation was screen-time limits. Explain that to the audience.

Speaker 5: 39:18 So for my screen time limits, I go to bed at nine. So we decided to do an hour before I go to bed. So that I don’t have technology like in my brains. My brain has like an hour to cool down. And as a re, as a recently me and mommy, I’ve started doing movie hour every night where after once eight o’clock hits, I put my technology down, I go downstairs with her, we go on Disney plus and find a movie. And normally we have to break the movie up into two days. So you know,

Speaker 4: 39:54 So obviously you’re not watching a vendor’s movie?

Speaker 5: 39:56 No, we’re just watching calming like we’re doing Pixar movies right now, so,

Speaker 4: 40:02 And they are pretty calming. Okay. So the last thing that we did discuss, which I think is probably the most therapeutic thing in this list, especially when you’re going through your monthly and that is chocolate. So you know, it’s funny, it’s almost like an old wives tale that when a woman is going through her monthly, that chocolate helps. Is it true? Does it help?

Speaker 5: 40:41 It actually kind of does like when he chocolate it’s like the one thing that you know you’re going to like most of the time when you have chocolate, especially in my case, it’s the one thing that you know your body will actually enjoy and not one to hate that you don’t normally hate. I mean, for some reason I think chocolate just tastes slightly better when I’m on my monthly.

Speaker 4: 41:07 So there’s a psychological factor in the a comfort food aspect of chocolate. I take it. But did you also know that there is a scientific reason why it helps as well and no, I did not. So when you eat chocolate, the chocolate itself, the taste of the chocolate, the smell of the chocolate that’s been found actually releases endorphins in the brain. And endorphins are chemicals that that give you a happy, euphoric feeling. So when you eat chocolate or really any comfort food, you know, like for me a comfort food is my mom’s cheesecake. It releases endorphins in the brain and it causes chemical changes in the brain that make you feel happy and, and satisfied and, and warm and fuzzy, if you will. So one of the things that I did today, you know, you and I talked before I left work, you had mentioned that you were having a bad time. So I hit the vending machine at work, which was freshly stocked up with goodies and I brought some chocolate home for you.

Speaker 5: 42:22 Yeah. And the thing is, when I was going through sixth grade, when I first went through all the emotional stuff, if I was really emotional, you’d always have some backup chocolate for me to eat and I’d always feel better.

Speaker 4: 42:33 Yeah. So and I, and I think, I think we’re smart enough now that we keep a decent supply of chocolate in the house all, all the time now as an emergency thing. Yeah. So, okay, so you had a rough week. We have some coping mechanisms. It’s Friday, right? We’re going into the weekend now. Yeah. How do you feel now?

Speaker 5: 42:56 Definitely better than way when, now that we have to talk. In fact, I’m going to be able to have chocolate after this.

Speaker 4: 43:05 Oh, well in that case then I won’t hold you around too much longer with the podcast. I don’t want to deny you your chocolate. So I’m glad you’re feeling better. Like I said at the beginning, I think this is what you went through this week. I think it’s very typical of what teens go through. And I hope that some of these coping mechanisms that we talked about here that help you out might help out some, some other teens out there to get through some, you know, what can be rough weeks sometimes, you know. I, I, I think you’re, you’re fortunate and that, you know, you’ve got mommy and daddy here to sort of lean on and talk to and try to get through these things. There’s a lot of, a lot of teens out there that don’t have that advantage. But they shouldn’t feel like they’re left alone out there. There’s plenty of places that you can find help. You know, one of the things we try to do with our podcast is to teach teens to deal with these things themselves and be self sufficient and be able to pick yourself up. And I think once you’re able to do that, I think you’re a better person for some. Did you have any closing remarks? All right, we’ll come back, we’ll get closing remarks and shout outs and then we’ll go have chocolate.

Speaker 4: 44:41 Go for your closing.

Speaker 5: 44:43 Alrighty. So today does not have a specific topic but it has focused on one main thing and that is talking out problems with someone who will listen. It’s always important that if you’re going through tough times, it, you always should have someone, at least someone to talk to about it and who someone who you can trust to lean back on I suppose. And I’m fortunate enough to have family and friends who will do that. And for you, it can be anyone, whether it’s a parent, a grandparent, an aunt and uncle or a friend or even like someone who you’ve, you see often, even though you don’t, might, you might not know them completely. If you can trust them enough and you know, they will listen. Just try to talk your problems out. It might be one of the best coping mechanisms.

Speaker 4: 45:46 Okay. Any shout out?

Speaker 5: 45:49 Yup. I’m giving a shout out to you guys and my friends because you guys have definitely gotten me through some pretty tough times.

Speaker 4: 45:57 Okay. I think that was a very good closing remark there. And I think, well, I definitely appreciate the shout out and I think that just about does it for this week. I’m glad we’re able to help you out a little bit there. I would invite folks to give us your feedback. You can email us at comments, at insights into things.com. You can hit us on Twitter at insights underscore things. You can check out our video podcasts@youtubedotcomslashinsightsintothingsweareonfacebookatfacebook.com slash insights into things podcast on the web. You can get all of our video audio show transcripts and show notes at http://www.insightsintothings.comandyoucangetouraudioatpodcast.insightsintheteens.com and I think that’s it.

Speaker 5: 47:03 Also, don’t forget to check out our other two podcasts, insights into entertainment starring you and mommy and inserts and head tomorrow. Our monthly podcasts sawing you and my brother Sam,

Speaker 4: 47:15 And we’ll have another one of those coming up in the next week or so. Awesome. Well, thank you sweetheart. On to the chocolate.

Show Notes

• Introductions
– Insights Into Teens Episode 48 “Going off script”
– My vibrant and illustrious co-host Madison
• Talking Points
– How was your week
○ First full week in school
○ Emotional status
○ Not feeling well
○ Things that frustrated me this week
○ Gym class woes
○ School work stress
○ Orthodontist issues
○ Sleeping habits
– Coping with the week
○ Talking about issues
○ Distracting from the issues
○ Rest and medication, change of eating habits
○ Take a step back, calming thoughts
○ Take small breaks, breaking big projects into smaller tasks
○ Meditation, music, reading, screen time limits
○ Chocolate
• Closing Remark/Shoutout

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