Insights Into Teens: Episode 22 “How to know yourself”

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Speaker 1:
0:02
Insightful pocket by informative hopes, insights into thing, a podcast network.:
Speaker 2:
0:26 :
Speaker 3:
0:26
welcome to insights into teens, a podcast series, exploring the issues and challenges of today’s youth. Your hosts are Joseph and Madison. Whale is a father and daughter team making their way through the challenges:
Speaker 2:
0:41
teenage years. [inaudible]:
Speaker 4:
0:51
welcome to insights into teens. This is episode 22 how to be yourself. I’m your host, Joseph Waylon and my intelligent and talented cohost Madison Waylon. Hi everyone. How are you doing today? Maddie? Freedom.:
Speaker 5:
1:09
God, I guess:
Speaker 4:
1:10
so you had a, before we get into the podcast here, you had a some procedure done, uh, on Thursday. What was it?:
Speaker 5:
1:20
Uh, no, it was one:
Speaker 4:
1:21
Wednesday. So what did you do? I want you to just give us a brief overview.:
Speaker 5:
1:25
Well, Wednesday was the day I would have gotten my bottom brace.:
Speaker 4:
1:30
Yes. Got My lip bumper removed. So you’ve had some dental work done. So, uh, that we mentioned that, uh, because uh, you’re still getting used to it. Um, so you may have some issues talking throughout the podcast, but I think for the most part you’re doing pretty good.:
Speaker 5:
1:49
Yeah. Better than when I first got my racism while the top races at least.:
Speaker 4:
1:54
Yeah, I think we should be okay though. Uh, it should be a fairly quick one so we won’t, we won’t force you to endure too much with it. So we will be talking about how to be yourself. It’s a rather light topic. I think it’s kind of an important one because she, you know, going into the next school, you know, you’re, you’re moving up to your middle school now so you’re going to be under a lot of pressure to perform an act a certain way. And I think it’s important too to understand that no matter what kind of external pressures you have, a, you need to beat yourself. And I think you’ll realize that your yourself is a pretty awesome person. [inaudible] so we’ll start off with just a kind of a brief idea of what it means to be yourself. This is a rather a informal definition.:
Speaker 4:
2:50
This actually came from a, a student blog from the UK, which in doing my research, that was the only one that really caught eye. It was kind of hard to, to get this kind of definition. Then we’ll talk about, uh, how you can be yourself, how you can ask certain things you have to look out for and so forth. And then, uh, the more important thing I think is how to know yourself because you can’t be yourself if you don’t know yourself. Right? So we’ll get into that. A couple of things that we can talk about here of, of how to break down personality traits and so forth. So ready to get into it. Yep. All right, let’s do it.:
Speaker 4:
3:42
So what does it mean to be yourself? To be genuine is to do the things you believe in and want to be accepted for. There’s no need to pretend that you like something you don’t, you don’t have to try and act tough or loud or quiet if that isn’t how you want to act. Altering your actions between different people doesn’t mean you’re rude to one lot and not the other. It doesn’t mean you tell one person that you believe tell. It doesn’t mean that you tell one person what you believe in. And then tell someone else that you believe in the exact opposite. It’s about relating to others with a genuine approach. Anyone who won’t accept you as a person with unique person with a unique personality is someone not worth your time. And I think that’s the most important line here is anyone who won’t accept you as a person with a unique personality is someone that’s not worth your time. You understand what with that statement itself actually conveys?:
Speaker 5:
4:50
Yeah, I do. And I know that the statement can convey that even though if someone says that they’ll only be your friend. If you change yourself, you shouldn’t be their friend. Because if they tell you to change yourself in to doing something you don’t want to do or being someone who you don’t want to be, then they’re not. So someone who’s worth your time.:
Speaker 4:
5:12
Exactly. You know a true, uh, friend or confidant or associate is your friend because of who you are, not who they can make you be. And if somebody is only going to associate with you, if you act the way that they want you to, then then you’re being a different person. And you can’t pretend to be a different person all the time. It’s just, it doesn’t work. It’s, it’s, it’s strenuous, it’s stressful. And imagine acting, you know, 24, seven as someone else. It’s just unimaginable. Yeah. I mean it gets overwhelming. So that’s sort of the definition is to be yourself, is to be true to who you are. And don’t let other people change you questions. Nope. All right, let’s move right along. So how, how do you be yourself? Is the next segment we’re going to talk about here and there’s a couple of different um, suggestions in here and I’ll throw these out one at a time. We can sort of digest them. So the first is don’t worry about what other people think, respect the opinions of others. Sure. But don’t let them push you in a different direction if you don’t agree with the direction that they’re going. What are your thoughts on that?:
Speaker 5:
6:43
Well. So once again with the um, example of if someone is forcing you to do something that you don’t want to do or change or to change who you are, you don’t have to follow that person even if they seem like they’re forcing you. Yes, it’s scary and overwhelming and you might not have a choice, but it’s always important to try your best. And if you don’t want to listen to that person, don’t do your best to ignore them and try to find other people who actually like you for who you are. And instead of wanting you to change:
Speaker 4:
7:24
right now, are you in any situations in school or camp or anything like that where no, people are basically using peer pressure to get you to do something that you know is the wrong thing to do?:
Speaker 5:
7:37
Oh, I haven’t had that experience yet.:
Speaker 4:
7:39
That’s good. Good. And unfortunately you probably will sometime in the future. So the next thing that we have is don’t compare yourself to other people. It’s difficult enough understanding how have you reached your own position in life. So how could you work out anyone else’s method of getting there? Someone else may look more successful than you, but they may have problems that you can’t even imagine. And there are probably people out there who think you’ve got it made when they don’t know the half of it, right? Comparisons are pointless because you don’t have all the information. So if you look at one of your friends and you see they’ve got the nicest clothes and the sharpest book bag and the latest gadgets and all that stuff, you might look at them and say, boy, they really got it made. He must have a lot of money.:
Speaker 4:
8:31
Their parents must be successful, but you don’t know how things are in the background. A lot of times what happens is parents, um, who don’t spend the time with their kids and you know, enjoy time with their kids, tend to pay that penance by giving kids all the nicest things. I had a friend of mine who used to get all the nice things, all the latest toys, nicest you know, clothes, you know, designers, sunglasses and stuff. And, and I used to think that kid had it made and it turned out his parents wouldn’t give him the time of day. He was raised by a babysitter. Uh, his parents barely spoke to him. He had no relationship with his parents whatsoever. And growing up he didn’t realize the detriment that dad had to him. He just enjoyed all the benefits on it. Well by the time he grew up and got married and had his own kids, he realized just how much is his parents weren’t there and it, it really hit home with him. Um, so comparing to what other people have probably isn’t the best way to know who you are cause you’re not competing with anyone. Right. Is there anyone that you know of who is sort of like that where they compare themselves to other people and try to try to emulate themselves and emulate those people? Um,:
Speaker 5:
9:59
I really don’t know. I mean, I don’t know if any of my friends do that. They might, but I don’t know for sure. Okay. If my friends ever compare themselves to other people, but I don’t think they actually, do you:
Speaker 4:
10:15
compare yourself to others? Not really, no. Okay. Good. So the next one that we have in the list here is listen to yourself. Be Positive about your likes and dislikes, which I think you’re pretty firm on what you’re liking, what you don’t like, work out what interests you and what makes you happy to wake up every morning, which is something I think you’ve probably got to focus on. Listen to what you love and enjoy each day striving for more of those things. So do you understand that, where this, this particular point’s going? I think so. Yeah. So it’s important to know what you like and don’t like. But that’s not to say that you shouldn’t strive to experience new things and that’s something that Mommy and daddy are always trying to get you to do is experience new things. Whether it’s a new food, a new movie, a new, you know, whatever it is.:
Speaker 4:
11:12
I’m only through exposure to these new things. Can you determine whether you like them or dislike them? And when you make the determination that you like or dislike it, go with it, you know, that’s, that’s who you are. He listened to your gut, listen to your desires. Same thing with subjects at school. You know, we had the big discussion about which advanced class to go into in middle school. You had a lot more choices in middle school than you did in your last school. Right. And what did it come down to? Was it science and math? Does math well, but the discussion was science and math. Right. And then after we talked it over, we came to the conclusion that math might be the best choice. Right. What led you to that decision?:
Speaker 5:
12:06
I don’t know. I mean, I think it was because I was already doing advanced maths and it wouldn’t seem that different and I didn’t do any of the advanced, any of the, and I didn’t have any of the other advanced classes. Right. And, um, I actually didn’t exactly want to have any advanced classes because I thought it was going to be a little too hard for me in middle school with too much stress on my hand.:
Speaker 6:
12:30:
Speaker 5:
12:32
and eventually we started on math.:
Speaker 4:
12:35
So while Mommy and daddy pushed you in the taking at least one advanced class, but ultimately the decision of which class you took was up to you. So you kind of went with your gut on that one.:
Speaker 6:
12:48 cool.:
Speaker 4:
12:51
Except when you’re wrong, nobody’s perfect. So take the rough with the smooth. How are you at accepting your mistakes and owning up to your mistakes?:
Speaker 5:
13:01
I mean, I do own up to my mistakes. Just, I don’t like to, I just got this weird feeling like I completed something wrong and then it will totally wrecked my future or something.:
Speaker 4:
13:14
Yeah. There’s very few occasions where that’s going to happen. As long as you’re not like breaking the law and getting a criminal record or something like that, chances are at your age and most of the mistakes that you make are learning opportunities. Um, and that’s how I always try to look at mistakes. We all make mistakes. I make mistakes. Mommy does you do. And a mistake to me is a chance to learn. Nobody learns from their successes because you succeeded. It’s when you make your mistakes that you get to better yourself. So when you make mistakes, it’s important to own up to them because if you sort of brush them under the carpet or ignore them and they go away, you don’t learn from them. And if you don’t learn from them, then there’s a chance you’re gonna make the same mistake again. But if you make a mistake, there’s a chance to improve yourself. And that’s how really you should look at mistakes. Is it a learning opportunity? You know, even in school, you take a testing, you miss a question on the test and you don’t get a hundred on it. Well, you make sure that the next time that question comes on, you know what that answer is. And a lot of times it’s those things that sticking your head:
Speaker 6:
14:32:
Speaker 4:
14:35
um, be open. And open attitude is when you don’t hide behind a facade. When you don’t hold back from what you enjoy. Now I will say there’s a caveat to this is that there’s only so much openness you should have in certain situations. Um, but being open here is being open to trying new things. Um, not being afraid to express yourself. Uh, I know communication is something outside of the family here that you tend to have issues with. Um, do you think that you’re an open minded person?:
Speaker 5:
15:13
Well, if you mean by open minded as an I know what’s going on around me, then I would say. Yep.:
Speaker 4:
15:22
Yes. Well, I mean, when I say open mind that I’m talking more along the lines of, um, your friends want to go to a new amusement park or they want to watch a new movie or they want to, uh, go do something that you haven’t done before or are you resisting those kinds of things? Or are you open and s enthusiastic about going and doing something and be open with their seniors? Tick. Okay, that’s important. So that was what we had for how to be yourself. Did you have questions or comments? Nope. Okay. Well, let’s move on.:
Speaker 4:
16:06
So how to know yourself. And again, I have several things in here that are key factors in how to understand who you are as a person. Um, because I don’t think, um, you can be yourself unless you know who you are. And the interesting thing is a lot of these you can turn around and use them in social situations to help you know other people too. So the first thing that we have is get to know the many facets of yourself. Uh, some days you’ll be more upbeat than others. Some days you’ll feel more confident than others. Some days you’re more subdued and others you’re more excitable. Um, this is a good thing. It gives you great flexibility to amp up certain elements of yourself when it’s appropriate. Like, you know, around the house where we’re not doing anything on a Saturday, you can be pretty mellow and laid back and, and not particularly excited, but you know, you know, we’re gonna go do a play date with a friend. Or if we’re going to go to the movies or go to an amusement park, don’t think you can sorta hype up and get a little more excited and stuff like that.:
Speaker 7:
17:21
Um,:
Speaker 4:
17:22
you’re beautifully unique. You’re complex individual with many different aspects to your personality. So embrace that. You don’t always have to be the same person all the time. You don’t have to be happy all the time. You don’t have to be miserable all the time. You can be who the situation demands and allow your full spectrum to exist. That’s important. You know, don’t try to hold back. Um, this is what makes the world interesting and colorful place is that everybody’s a different person every day. So you have to be a little, except the fact that you’re of changing moods from time to time. Right. Do you go through, during the course of a week, do you think you go through a whole spectrum of moods? Yup. Explain.:
Speaker 5:
18:13
Well, let’s take a whole week of camp, for instance. Good idea. Some of the days I could feel kind of happy. Very rarely, just saying, other times I could just say the day was tolerable and that it could have gone better, but it could’ve gone worse as well. Right. And some days I’ll just be completely hating camp and I, and I say, I don’t want to go back. Right. So yeah.:
Speaker 4:
18:42
So camp is a good example because occasionally we have, well every day, you know, when you get home, I get home from work, you get home from camp and we sort of label the day, you know, the day is tolerable. It was good, it was bad. Um, and I think it works when we do it like that. Cause then if it’s tolerable then we talk about, you know, what didn’t make it great or if it was bad, we talk about what made it bad. Um, and I think, I think it’s kind of important that we do and cause if it helps us to sort of decompress afterwards. Right. So that’s a good exercise in how to get to know yourself too. Um, the next thing is, except your personality traits. Um, most people know if they’re introverted, extroverted or an ambivert, which is a blend of the two.:
Speaker 4:
19:41
So you know what an introvert is? No. So an introvert is a person who, uh, sort of keeps to themselves. Uh, it doesn’t really bother too much with other, other people isn’t particularly social. Um, and extroverts the opposite. And extroverts the type of person who thrives on being around other people. So for instance, your mommy is definitely an extrovert. She is very much a social person or social butterfly like we like to say where she can flutter in and out of social situations with different people with ease. Um, I’m probably an ambivert. An ambivert is a combination of both of those. So under certain situations, I’m an introvert. I don’t like to be bothered by other people. I like to keep to myself. But there are certain situations where I choose to be more extroverted where I choose to engage in social situations. Um, I think you’re probably either an ambivert, a mixture of both or an introvert.:
Speaker 4:
20:45
And I say that because as much as you, after talking about our social anxiety podcast, you thought you were kind of antisocial. You didn’t like people, but it’s not true because certain people you do so in certain circles you’re extrovert. You know when the girls come around and they want to play in the neighborhood, you’re an extrovert, you enjoy that. You, you thrive on that and your, you function very well in it. In school, when those kids aren’t around that or your friends, you’re very introverted. So I think you’re a combination of both and no one is right or wrong, but knowing who you are is important. This is, this is part of what we’re talking about here. So what do you think you are?:
Speaker 5:
21:35
Um, I’d have to agree with you. I mean, yeah, when I’m with all my friends, like I’m definitely extroverted. I and I’m happy to be around them, but like at Camp or school, when they aren’t around, I’m definitely um, introverted. For instance, if none of my friends in my grade are at camp, since we’re separated by age group, um, I normally keep to myself and drawl and don’t really talk to anyone else.:
Speaker 4:
22:09
Right. And that’s okay. You kind of need to give yourself permission to own this and know that you either need alone time or you need time with other people. You know, it’s, they say here it’s fuel for your soul. And I think, you know, in Mommy’s case it, it’s true. I mean, if mommy is buying herself for too long, it starts to have an emotional impact on her. She needs to have other people around. Cause she sort of feeds off of that social energy. Um, it says here that, you know, no, there’s no one way of, of being, you know, it’s not one way is better than the other. And knowing who you are simply puts you in a position to make choices that compliment your preferences. And that’s important as well. Because when you know who you are, it allows you to interact in a way that best suits your personality.:
Speaker 4:
23:07
It allows you to engage in situations, knowing how you’re going to react so that you don’t feel embarrassed by doing something or saying something that’s inappropriate. Um, so a lot of us sort of feeds back into the social anxiety we talked about last week and in knowing who you are and how your, your your best suited for interacting with people. So as well an entry extrovert may thrive by filling up their social calendar and introvert my benefit from prioritizing some nights into Netflix or chill or you youtube in your case but both are awesome and, and you can make both work.:
Speaker 5:
23:53
Honestly, I think, um, yeah, I think you’re right. I am a mixture of, of both of them because you know, I like to watch you to have lunch and I normally don’t really interact with you guys that much Shauna on the during the night unless it’s like dinner or something special going on.:
Speaker 4:
24:18
Right. Or You have something you want to show us or something like that and that’s fine. I mean, you need that, that time to decompress when you get home from camper school. And there’s nothing wrong with that. So, so you’re not antisocial, you’re an ambivert. So if anyone says you’re antisocial, tell them that and see if they know what it means. So the next thing is being yourself also means being appropriate and respectful. And I don’t think you’ve got any kind of issue for with this. Sorry, I think this is more for the benefit of our listeners. Um, don’t let your personality type being excused for not making an effort. Um, good example with this would be your moving up ceremony. So if you know you don’t like to get dressed up, don’t let that be an excuse for not getting dressed up when that’s the appropriate thing to do and you didn’t. So Kudos to you. We came up with a good compromise for that. So it worked for the situation and it wasn’t something that made you feel uncomfortable.:
Speaker 5:
25:21
Yeah. And when like we had bought a second out for two, and when I actually wore that to camp, it actually felt really good because for some reason it kept me cold and I like cold. Yeah. So I actually enjoyed wearing it.:
Speaker 4:
25:33
So it worked out. Maturity means taking stock of the situation you were in and making others around you feel comfortable. Um, and this sort of speaks to the why do I have to worry about what other people think of me? And you don’t, but it’s important to be aware of other people’s feelings. And it’s important too, avoid, um, embarrassing situations or hurtful situations for other people because you’d expect other people in a social environment to have the same courtesy for you. So you don’t want to say something that you know is going to embarrass somebody, for instance, or you don’t want to say something that’s hurtful, that will hurt their feelings when you’re in a, in a social situation, even if that social situation is just the two of you. So it’s just, it’s sort of common sense things of treat others the way that you yourself want to be treated.:
Speaker 4:
26:37
Um, it says, for example, if an introvert is at an event speaking to the one person they know in the corner all evening, mega pure rude to the host or the planner. And that’s a great example. So say you go to a birthday party for one of your friends and they’ve got a bunch of other people there that you don’t know. Well, if all you do is try to talk to your friend and monopolize their time, then you’re going to appear rude to all the other people. So you don’t have to, you know, like the other people, you don’t have to worry too much about what they think. But the polite thing would be to engage in conversation, not ignore them. You know, you’re playing games, play games with them, that type of stuff. You know, don’t leave people out because you don’t know who they are.:
Speaker 4:
27:31
So understand. Yup. Okay. I’m an extrovert. May offend people by being the loudest or most outspoken person in the room. I’m at a gathering where the focus is on someone else’s birthday or company accomplishment. Clearly this isn’t something that is a problem for you because I don’t think you’re ever the loudest person in the room. Um, but that’s another example from the other side of things where, you know, as the extrovert, you’re an attention gathering and you may be, um, at somebody’s birthday partying, you’re doing stuff telling jokes or whatever and getting all the attention and taking it away from the person who should be getting it. Uh, if you’re unsure, ask yourself, which is the coolest and kindness version of myself to be right now. And I think that’s a great rule of thumb to hold onto because that works on there. Any circumstances, um, no matter where you’re at, if you always stopped the answer yourself, what’s the best person that I can be right now? How would I want someone to treat me in this situation? That’s a good barometer, a good measure of,:
Speaker 6:
28:51
um,:
Speaker 4:
28:52
how you should act in a certain situation. Because deep down inside you’re, you’re a good person and you wouldn’t want people treating you in an inappropriate way. So if you apply that logic, I think you’ll be fine. Got It. Got It. Um, another very important one here is never be who you’re not. Now, before I get into any of the details on that, do you, what do you think that means?:
Speaker 6:
29:20
Oh, I see.:
Speaker 4:
29:22
Yeah. What do you think it means to never be who you’re not?:
Speaker 5:
29:26
I think it means don’t be someone who you don’t want to be and um, be like yourself and don’t let yourself think that you should be different.:
Speaker 4:
29:41
Okay. That’s:
Speaker 6:
29:42
a very good, uh, definition. So it says you should never have to try to be someone you’re not or go against your personal values or authentic self. Again, this is fending off peer pressure. If all your friends are, you know, sneaking in a, a beer or smoking and you don’t want to do that, you don’t have to do that and nobody can make you do that. Um,:
Speaker 4:
30:09
so they say if you don’t want to smoke or go skiing or drink alcohol, then don’t, uh, you don’t have to do something just because that’s what your friends are doing. Um, people respect those who are authentic and who they are. And I think you’ll find it. Your friends do try to convince you and they will. And a lot of times they don’t do it out of malice or you know, with evil intent or anything. Lot of times people want to encourage you to do things that they’re doing so that you feel part of the crowd as well so that you feel like you’re involved. So they genuinely think in most situations that they’re doing the right thing may including you.:
Speaker 6:
30:49
Um,:
Speaker 4:
30:49
but if it’s something that you know is wrong or that you don’t feel comfortable with, then don’t do it. And I think you’ll find most times your friends will actually respect you for that, for holding your ground.:
Speaker 6:
31:02
Um,:
Speaker 4:
31:03
so as you should appreciate yourself for making your desires the priority they deserve to be. And, and again, that’s an important statement. You know what you want to be, who you want to be is more important than who other people want you to be. And stick to your guns. You know, don’t let people make you be sewing. You’re not by making choices that you’re not uncomfortable with. What did you think of that? Do you, have you ever have a situation where you’ve run into where, you know, people are asking you to do things even if it’s not, you know, something severe like this, but have people asked you to do things that you thought might have been questionable and that you weren’t comfortable with?:
Speaker 5:
31:45
Um, I guess sometimes if, well I think the only common situation would be if someone wanted to play a game that I didn’t really want to play or I didn’t feel comfortable with.:
Speaker 4:
31:58
That’s another great example.:
Speaker 6:
32:02
Okay.:
Speaker 5:
32:03
That would be that. And I think that would be one of those scenarios where I would kind of feel a little uncomfortable cause I would want to play with them, but I didn’t exactly want to play the same game as them.:
Speaker 4:
32:16
Right. So in, in that kind of situation, what do you do to resolve it?:
Speaker 5:
32:20
Well, I just normally just say I’m, I’m good or I really don’t want to play right now. And they normally just say it’s okay and they respect my desire.:
Speaker 4:
32:31
Okay. Well I’ll give you an example that you do to me. Sometimes you’ll come down and you’ll say, Hey, can we play rock band or can we this and can we do that? And you know, some of the games, rock bands are great examples. So rock bands, you know, there’s a lot of setup time to it. There’s a little effort that’s involved with it and sometimes I’m just not in the mood. So what I’ll do is, you know, instead of saying, no, I’d rather not do that, I’ll suggest an alternative. Well let’s not play that, but you know, let’s play a racing game or something like that. And then we can still spend time together. We can still play games together, but we’re playing something that we both sort of compromised on. So it still allows you to hold your ground, but it also allows you to have quality time with that person too.:
Speaker 4:
33:19
So that’s another option you have is, you know, propose an alternative life is all about compromise. So questions on that? Nope. All right. The last one that we have here is give yourself a break. Life is a journey of becoming the best person, a vest version of who you are. And knowing gets that right every time. We all have bratty moments, we all have generous moments. We all go through ups and downs and experienced scary new encounters. You can always come back to who you are because your true essence never waivers in moments of fear or uncertainty. Give yourself a gentle nudge and say I’m enough no matter what. So which myself is the most suitable and loving to be right now. So you know, it’s sort of, this gives you permission to sort of deviate from your normal course on a regular basis. But human nature always has us come back to who we really are. So sometimes you know, you may be in a bad mood or you may snap and you may say something, you know, rude or inappropriate because you’re the situation, you know, sort of forces that out of you. But deep down inside you’re still a good person. You’re still polite and you’re still kind. So he kind of Gig. Kind of give yourself a little slack there. Right? So do you, do you have situations where you give yourself a break or you know when you do something wrong? What kind of break do you give yourself?:
Speaker 5:
35:00
Um, like what do you mean by that?:
Speaker 4:
35:01
Well, if you do something wrong, like you could be kind of hard on yourself. Sometimes we can do something wrong. What do you do to forgive yourself or to get over something like that? I try to correct myself. Okay. Do you forgive yourself when you do something wrong?:
Speaker 5:
35:21
Well, one, well, after a little while, once I’ve calmed down and realized my mistake and looked over how I could have gone better, I do forgive myself for it.:
Speaker 4:
35:30
That’s important. You know, we all make mistakes. We cannot, you know, we can’t hate ourselves for the mistakes that we make. All we can do is try to learn from those mistakes, improve ourselves, avoid making those mistakes in the future and sort of rebuild, you know, repair the damage that, that some of those mistakes may cause. Um, so it’s important to be able to ask forgiveness from other people. It’s important to be able to apologize to other people when you do things. Um, but ultimately, you know, that’s when you, that’s when you snap back to your core. At that point and you realize what you did was, was wrong and you, you know it and you start the, the repair process. So that was what we had. Did you have any questions on what we talked about? Nope. I don’t think so. All right. We will come back with your final thoughts and your shouts.:
Speaker 7:
36:39
Alright.:
Speaker 4:
36:39
Turn it over to you my dear. For final thoughts and shout outs,:
Speaker 5:
36:44
well, to the audience who’s watching, who’s around my age or just in general, it’s just know it’s always important to be yourself. If people are forcing you to change who you are or make you be someone who you don’t want to be you or make you do something you don’t want to do. Don’t listen to them and go to someone who has some positive energy and likes you for who you are without wanting you to wanting to change anything about you.:
Speaker 4:
37:19
All right. Did you have any shout outs today?:
Speaker 5:
37:24
Um, I think I’ll give my shout out to you today because you’ve taught me an important lesson. You’ve taught me to remain myself. You showed me how, um, I should think of myself as a good person because I am, you showed me all my positives and worked out my negatives with me and I thank you for that.:
Speaker 4:
37:49
Well, you’re very welcome sweetheart. I’m glad I could be there. Um, uh, before we go, I did want to offer a quick shout out to a very good friend of mine who’s actually my, my boss and a mentor to, uh, Carm to Leo. He actually helped me out with some of the sound engineering on the podcast of the last couple of podcasts. Uh, I think our listeners probably will agree, have had significantly better sound mixing, uh, to do with that. So thank you to Carm for his, uh, technical wizardry with that, and I think that will do it for us for today. Uh, we’ll be back next week with another great podcast and I think we’re done. I have you on by everyone.:

Show Notes

• Introduction
• What it means to be yourself
  • https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2009/09/28/be-yourself-be-genuine/
  • To be genuine is to do the things you believe in and want to be accepted for.  There’s no need to pretend that you like something you don’t.  You don’t have to try and act tough, or loud, or quiet, if that isn’t how you want to act.
    
    Altering your actions between different people doesn’t mean you’re rude to one lot and not the other.  It doesn’t mean you tell one person what you believe in and then tell someone else that you believe the exact opposite.  It’s about relating to others with a genuine approach.
    
    Anyone who won’t accept you as a person with a unique personality is someone not worth your time
     
• How to be yourself
  • Don’t worry about what other people think
    • Respect the opinions of others, but don’t let them push you in a different direction if you don’t agree
       
  • Don’t compare yourself to other people
    •  It’s difficult enough understanding how you’ve reached your own position in life, so how could you work out anyone else’s?
    • Someone else may look more successful than you, but they may have problems you can’t even imagine. 
    • And there are probably people out there who think you’ve got it made, when they don’t know the half of it. 
    • Comparisons are pointless, because you don’t have all the information
       
  • Listen to yourself
    • Be positive about your likes and dislikes.
    • Work out what interests you and what makes you happy to wake up every morning. 
    • Listen to what you love and enjoy each day striving for more of those things
       
  • Accept when you’re wrong
    • Nobody is perfect, so take the rough with the smooth
       
  • Be open
    • An open attitude is when you don’t hide behind a façade, when you don’t hold back from what you enjoy.
       
• How to know yourself
  • Get to know the many facets of your “self.”
    • Some days you will be more upbeat than others.
    • Some days you will feel more confident than others.
    • Some days more subdued, and others more excitable.
    • This is a good thing: It gives us great flexibility to amp up certain elements of yourself when appropriate
    • You are a beautifully unique, complex individual with many different aspects to your personality.
    • Allowing your full spectrum to exist matters. This is what makes the world is so interesting and colorful.
       
  • Accept your personality traits
    • Most people know if they are introverted, extroverted, or an ambivert (which is a blend of the two).
    • Give yourself permission to own this and know when you either need alone time, or more time with other people, to fuel your soul.
    • No one way of being is superior to another.
    • Knowing who you are simply puts you in a position to make choices that complement your preferences.
    • While an extrovert may thrive by filling up their social calendar, an introvert might benefit from prioritizing some nights in to Netflix and chill. Both are awesome!
       
  • Being yourself also means being appropriate and respectful.
    • Don’t let your personality type be an excuse for not making an effort.
    • Maturity means taking stock of the situation you are in and making others around you feel comfortable.
    • For example, if an introvert is at an event, speaking to the one person they know in the corner all evening may appear rude to the host or planner.
    • An extrovert may offend people by being the loudest or most outspoken person at a gathering where the focus is on someone else’s birthday or accomplishment.
    • If you are unsure, ask yourself, “Which is the coolest and kindest version of myself to be right now?”
       
  • Never be who you’re not.
    • You should never have to try to be someone you’re not or go against your personal values or authentic self.
    • So you don’t want to smoke, go skiing, or drink alcohol? Then don’t.
    • You don’t have to do something just because that’s what your friends are doing.
    • People respect those who are authentic to who they are.
    • You should appreciate yourself for making your desires the priority that they deserve to be.
       
  • Give yourself a break!
    • Life is a journey of becoming the best version of who you are, and no one gets it right every time.
    • We all have bratty moments.
    • We all have generous moments.
    • We all go through ups and downs and experience scary new encounters.
    • You can always come back to who you are, because your true essence never wavers.
    • In moments of fear or uncertainty, give yourself a gentle nudge and say, “I’m enough no matter what. So which ‘myself’ is the most suitable and loving to be right now?”