Insights Into Teens: Episode 70 “School Refusal”

Anxiety, stress and fear in a teenager can lead to an unwillingness or inability to attend school. This week we discuss what School Refusal is. We’ll look at the symptoms and warning signs to look for. We’ll investigate some of the common causes of School Refusal. And we will look at some of the ways that parents and guardians can help their children overcome some of these issues.

Teenage years are stressful in nature. Add to that the social awkwardness associated with school, the expectations of performance in school and the random variables of bullies, peer rejection, family conflict and underlying anxiety disorder and you have a perfect storm. Supporting our children and ensuring they have an outlet to work through these issues is key. We’ll talk about this and much more in this week’s episode.

Check out our recently published article on this subject available now on Medium.com.

Show Notes

Transcript

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insightful podcasts by informative host

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[Music]

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insights into things a podcast network

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[Music]

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welcome to insights into teens a podcast

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series exploring the issues and

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challenges of today’s youth your hosts

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are Joseph and Madison Whalen a father

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and daughter team making their way

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through the challenges of the teenage

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years

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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welcome to insights in the teens this is

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episode 70 school refusal I’m your host

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Joseph Whalen and my funny and

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compassionate co-host Madison Whalen hi

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everyone how you doing today Maddie I’m

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pretty good how was your week this week

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um I had a little bit of work I needed

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to do but other than that pretty chill

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some school sort of winding down at this

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point just late in the season huh mm-hmm

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okay well hopefully we’ll be able to

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keep you occupied during the summer

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during the tail end of our quarantine

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here yep today we are piggybacking on

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last week’s Q&A session where we did

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talk about some school subjects and this

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one’s kind of off topic from that but

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still related this is school refusal do

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you know what school refusal is um no I

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do not okay so let’s talk briefly what

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school refusal is so I mean everyone I

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think has had a situation where

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when you’re in school there are days

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that you get up and you’re tired you

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might not really feel up to going to

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school and you may pretend to be sick or

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you need a mental health day we used to

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call them and stuff like that where you

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just stay home for no legitimate minute

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medical reason that is not school

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refusal school refusal is when there is

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an underlying reason for fear or anxiety

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so this definition comes from a website

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called paradigm treatment which is a

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teen mental health treatment center and

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they say school refusal may seem like a

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typical problem parents face however it

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is considered to be more than just

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refusing to go to school every once in a

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while when a child or teen doesn’t want

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to go to school because of anxiety or

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other emotional concerns and does

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someone a regular basis it’s turned by

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experts as school refusal school refusal

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is a term that is used to describe a

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child’s experience of missing school due

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to emotional distress at one point

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school refusal was called school phobia

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however the term changed to reflect the

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fact that a child may not be afraid of

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school but that there may be a great

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deal of stress or anxiety related to

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attending school so it’s a stress

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disorder and I think we’ve done enough

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podcasts are ready to realize that teens

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are under a lot of stress right so let

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me ask you based on that definition has

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there ever been an instance in which

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you’ve avoided going to school because

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of anxiety I mean I do sometimes not

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like going to school mainly due to

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having to see people who really aren’t

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that nice to me but it would never got

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to the point where I was just had and in

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like an intense fear of going to school

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I’ve never really gotten at that point

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and in another situation where school

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refusal can come up

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is avoiding something bad that you

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anticipate happening for instance a

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project that you didn’t complete and you

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know it’s due on Friday and if you stay

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home Friday because you didn’t finish it

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maybe you can do it over the weekend and

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rush and turn it in or something like

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that have you ever had a situation where

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there’s been a a test or an assignment

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or something like that that you weren’t

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either

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ready for or didn’t have complete and

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you’ve tried to avoid going to school as

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a result of that I mean I’ve never

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actually been able to um leave stay home

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from school to do a project I I do

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remember at the beginning of the of the

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remote learning we had had a project and

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I had had to finish some of the parts

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because apparently the other people

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wouldn’t actually do it and I couldn’t

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turn it in because I wasn’t the actual

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owner and no one else was actually

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responding to it so I kind of got that a

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bit of anxiety but I wouldn’t have

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skipped school for that but I can recall

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at one point when I was in sixth grade

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that um I was really facing a lot of

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problems at that point and I think

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that’s actually the closest thing I can

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say to having not wanting to go to

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school

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I just remembered thinking of that

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instance I remember I was in my room and

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I really wasn’t very keen on going to

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school since one no one really from my

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class ever spoke to me I was honestly

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mostly alone besides a couple friends

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here and there and I’d actually asked

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mommy if I could stay home from school

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um she said to wait for me to wait until

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morning to see if I decided to go or not

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and I went okay

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alright how about your friends you know

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if any friends of yours or have

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experienced the anxiety or stressed to

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the point that they’ve tried to avoid

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going to school I mean I do know a

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friend and seven

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great who I met um he was sometimes not

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at school but I was mainly for personal

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reasons and wasn’t because um he had a

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fear of going to school I mean that

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might also have been it since he was

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kind of a target at school but um he

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never really mentioned anything to me he

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only said like whenever he was out he

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said like it was like family or he was

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sick or something like that my friends

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have had a few issues so a couple of my

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other friends have had issues with like

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students not being very nice to them but

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it never got to the point where they

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tried to skip school I remember when I

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whenever a nun will never I didn’t have

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any friends at school um I definitely

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worried about them but they never said

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it was anything bad about like school

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fuser it was just like oh I was sick or

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oh I need to take a personal day okay

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well you haven’t had much exposure to it

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which is a good thing and you know kind

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of kind of is a statement to the

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environment that they portray for you at

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school where it’s a much more nurturing

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environment that you don’t have those

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levels of stress which is nice so we’re

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going to take our first break here we’re

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going to come back and we’ll talk about

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what the symptoms are and what to look

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out for if kids are suffering from

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school refusal or the anxiety associated

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with them for over seven years

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the second SIF Empire has been the

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so let’s talk about symptoms the anxiety

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and depression Association of America

0:09:13.090,0:09:19.030
says the children at school refusal may

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complain of physical symptoms

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shortly before it’s time to leave for

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school or repeatedly asked to visit the

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school nurse

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if the child is allowed to stay home the

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symptoms quickly disappear only to

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reappear the next morning when it’s time

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for school again and in some cases

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children may refuse to leave the house

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entirely so a couple of the common

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physical symptoms you run into headaches

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stomach aches and nausea or diarrhea now

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one of the things that’s worth

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mentioning here is that these are all

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kind of subjective symptoms like

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you can’t go to the nurse and say you

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have a headache and the nurse run some

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kind of diagnostic it says up yeah you

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definitely have a headache right I mean

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it’s like you can’t take the temperature

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and find out you have a headache or

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anything so a lot of these are

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legitimate for sure because of the

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stress associated with them but some of

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these are what we might term is

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psychosomatic they don’t really have

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these symptoms they’re just inducing

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them themselves and sometimes they’re

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just made up now when you are going

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through the issues you’ve mentioned in

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sixth grade did you physically manifest

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any of these symptoms here headache

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stomach aches nausea or anything like

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that I mean whenever I really got upset

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and when I was in sixth grade I got

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upset a lot I remembered I would have

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stomach aches and headaches mainly due

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to just I don’t really know what the

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cause of it was um but I remember

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whenever I had gotten upset and the time

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I did get upset and wanted to stay home

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it I just remember having a headache and

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I had a stomachache and also sort of a

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loss of breath honestly I feel like now

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whenever I get upset like I lose my

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breath and it’s kind of hard to breathe

0:11:22.690,0:11:32.830
and yeah I kind of felt some of the

0:11:27.070,0:11:34.510
symptoms but yeah and and sometimes a

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lot of the symptoms that we’re talking

0:11:34.510,0:11:40.120
about it especially the breathing

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they are stress induced you know one of

0:11:40.120,0:11:44.950
the first things that you find when you

0:11:41.890,0:11:46.900
start to get upset is you get that real

0:11:44.950,0:11:49.270
quick heavy labored breathing you start

0:11:46.900,0:11:51.010
to hyperventilate and and the

0:11:49.270,0:11:52.900
hyperventilating and the difficulty

0:11:51.010,0:11:55.480
breathing get you even more upset as it

0:11:52.900,0:11:58.340
starts to scare you

0:11:55.480,0:12:02.030
but there are behavioral patterns to

0:11:58.340,0:12:05.150
keep an eye out on – so for instance you

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may see children have temper tantrums

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when it comes to getting up for school

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or getting ready for school they may be

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inflexible you know they may not be

0:12:13.690,0:12:18.650
willing to compromise in situations that

0:12:16.550,0:12:21.890
that normally they would want to

0:12:18.650,0:12:25.670
compromise on like choosing a meal or

0:12:21.890,0:12:28.730
choosing where to to go on the weekends

0:12:25.670,0:12:32.540
or cooperating with their friends they

0:12:28.730,0:12:34.370
may experience separation anxiety and

0:12:32.540,0:12:37.220
this happens a lot in the younger kids

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to where when they’re with their mothers

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for their fathers for so long when when

0:12:42.860,0:12:48.830
they go off to school they lose that

0:12:45.980,0:12:50.900
bond and they that scares them and they

0:12:48.830,0:12:53.110
go through this separation anxiety for

0:12:50.900,0:12:56.990
for quite some time

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avoidance is another characteristic that

0:12:56.990,0:13:03.260
you’ll see they’ll just ignore requests

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they’ll avoid trying to take on

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additional responsibilities they’ll

0:13:05.990,0:13:11.840
start making excuses for why they can’t

0:13:08.450,0:13:17.540
do things and this ultimately culminates

0:13:11.840,0:13:20.720
in outward defiance where your your

0:13:17.540,0:13:23.780
students become uncooperative for even

0:13:20.720,0:13:26.660
the most simplest things when you went

0:13:23.780,0:13:29.560
through your stressful period do you

0:13:26.660,0:13:32.060
think you exhibited any of these same

0:13:29.560,0:13:34.790
behaviors did you have Tantrums or

0:13:32.060,0:13:37.880
anything like that I mean whenever I got

0:13:34.790,0:13:39.560
upset um at the Loews things with my

0:13:37.880,0:13:43.970
mood swings I would sort of have

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Tantrums like that I definitely don’t

0:13:43.970,0:13:50.950
think I had separation anxiety since um

0:13:46.910,0:13:54.279
I was already kind of used to well

0:13:50.950,0:13:56.529
in a way I kind of needed you guys in

0:13:54.279,0:13:58.600
certain situations when bad things

0:13:56.529,0:14:00.430
happened at school and I wished you guys

0:13:58.600,0:14:03.220
were there so I guess I kind of had a

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bit of um separation anxiety in that

0:14:03.220,0:14:13.000
point okay what about the defiance part

0:14:10.240,0:14:15.430
did you ever become defiant as a result

0:14:13.000,0:14:17.829
of this I mean I’ve never tried to

0:14:15.430,0:14:20.889
become defiant but at some but I

0:14:17.829,0:14:25.000
remember one time I had got I had a

0:14:20.889,0:14:27.399
really bad morning and I had just

0:14:25.000,0:14:32.410
completely lost control of my emotions

0:14:27.399,0:14:35.019
and they just kind of let out during

0:14:32.410,0:14:39.160
class and I just needed some time to

0:14:35.019,0:14:43.839
cool down I never really tried to be

0:14:39.160,0:14:46.120
defiant but I wouldn’t say I tried to

0:14:43.839,0:14:48.070
take on extra responsibilities like if

0:14:46.120,0:14:49.930
someone wanted me to do something so if

0:14:48.070,0:14:53.110
there was an option I’d probably not do

0:14:49.930,0:14:56.050
it so yeah and I think that the one

0:14:53.110,0:14:59.290
thing that that I probably could say

0:14:56.050,0:15:01.890
that I saw in you was a lot of anger

0:14:59.290,0:15:05.350
like you had a very difficult time

0:15:01.890,0:15:07.149
restraining yourself and as a result you

0:15:05.350,0:15:08.829
had a very short fuse so things would

0:15:07.149,0:15:10.899
set you off a lot faster than they

0:15:08.829,0:15:12.910
normally would

0:15:10.899,0:15:14.740
and that’s typical when you’re when

0:15:12.910,0:15:17.680
you’re stressed out there’s only so much

0:15:14.740,0:15:20.709
that you know a person can take before

0:15:17.680,0:15:23.079
they just refuse to take anymore in they

0:15:20.709,0:15:27.610
snap so I don’t think it was anything

0:15:23.079,0:15:29.379
that was unusual in fact when you were

0:15:27.610,0:15:31.029
going through all that that was really

0:15:29.379,0:15:33.910
what the impetus was of starting this

0:15:31.029,0:15:36.040
podcast you know it was to have these

0:15:33.910,0:15:39.399
talks and to go through these things and

0:15:36.040,0:15:41.679
and do them kind of in a clinical manner

0:15:39.399,0:15:43.360
so that we could address these issues

0:15:41.679,0:15:46.149
and come up with some solutions for you

0:15:43.360,0:15:50.230
and I don’t know do you think they’ve

0:15:46.149,0:15:53.759
helped yeah definitely um I definitely

0:15:50.230,0:15:57.730
think after the podcast started I’ve

0:15:53.759,0:15:59.860
gotten less I have had less anger built

0:15:57.730,0:16:01.959
up I becoming more tolerable of things

0:15:59.860,0:16:06.429
especially by the end of the school year

0:16:01.959,0:16:10.209
like kids that would annoy me um mean my

0:16:06.429,0:16:13.059
friends I would be the one to make sure

0:16:10.209,0:16:15.129
that my friends didn’t lose it and I

0:16:13.059,0:16:18.309
would always make sure to calm myself

0:16:15.129,0:16:22.300
down and of course now I still have some

0:16:18.309,0:16:24.480
short moments where I get frustrated but

0:16:22.300,0:16:28.079
I never try to lash it out at people

0:16:24.480,0:16:30.879
it’s mainly at inanimate objects or

0:16:28.079,0:16:32.410
technology yeah yeah don’t know where

0:16:30.879,0:16:35.649
you get that from nope

0:16:32.410,0:16:40.179
uh-huh so so there are a number of

0:16:35.649,0:16:42.009
common causes for for school refusal if

0:16:40.179,0:16:44.350
a teen is refusing to go to school and

0:16:42.009,0:16:46.959
if there’s an emotional reason behind

0:16:44.350,0:16:50.439
the parents might begin by uncovering

0:16:46.959,0:16:53.110
what the source is for the teens anxiety

0:16:50.439,0:16:57.209
and emotional distress so some of the

0:16:53.110,0:16:57.209
reasons why teens

0:17:00.150,0:17:05.319
why’s Keynes won’t go to school is

0:17:02.380,0:17:08.890
facing a bully have you ever had to face

0:17:05.319,0:17:12.990
a bully I mean I remember that there

0:17:08.890,0:17:16.930
were I don’t know if I was necessarily

0:17:12.990,0:17:18.910
bullied immediately but I do remember in

0:17:16.930,0:17:22.180
the later years of the school year um

0:17:18.910,0:17:24.880
and in like about the middle when I was

0:17:22.180,0:17:28.060
in sixth grade um when I was in

0:17:24.880,0:17:30.190
aftercare me and my friend would for

0:17:28.060,0:17:33.570
some reason get picked on by fourth

0:17:30.190,0:17:36.580
graders like people who were her age and

0:17:33.570,0:17:39.580
honestly they were not nice whatsoever

0:17:36.580,0:17:43.330
they honestly picked the stupidest

0:17:39.580,0:17:45.820
reasons to mess with us and it and for

0:17:43.330,0:17:48.730
the most part in the beginning I got

0:17:45.820,0:17:51.010
frustrated because I didn’t like being

0:17:48.730,0:17:53.440
picked on by them and the fact that they

0:17:51.010,0:17:54.910
were just so rude to me in her and I

0:17:53.440,0:17:57.850
remember about the end of it they still

0:17:54.910,0:18:00.850
didn’t change but I remember to keep my

0:17:57.850,0:18:03.220
cool and I had to help my friend who was

0:18:00.850,0:18:05.050
really being affected by them well

0:18:03.220,0:18:07.629
that’s great you stepped up and you took

0:18:05.050,0:18:11.529
the high road I think that’s important

0:18:07.629,0:18:13.210
I’m about not understanding a subject or

0:18:11.529,0:18:16.899
failing in a subject have you ever

0:18:13.210,0:18:19.989
experienced that and has that been a

0:18:16.899,0:18:22.989
cause of anxiety that might have driven

0:18:19.989,0:18:25.239
you to not want to go to school I mean I

0:18:22.989,0:18:27.489
don’t have anything for sixth grade

0:18:25.239,0:18:30.190
because I had pretty good grades in

0:18:27.489,0:18:32.950
sixth grade but in the first marking

0:18:30.190,0:18:37.179
period of seventh grade I had gotten a

0:18:32.950,0:18:41.139
high B I had been one point off for

0:18:37.179,0:18:43.960
having an A in my math class and that

0:18:41.139,0:18:47.009
had definitely gotten me really upset I

0:18:43.960,0:18:49.269
thought that I had failed my

0:18:47.009,0:18:52.779
expectations and that I would never

0:18:49.269,0:18:54.759
recover from it and it in a way it kind

0:18:52.779,0:18:58.059
of made me not when I have to not want

0:18:54.759,0:19:00.309
to go back to school to just see like

0:18:58.059,0:19:02.080
any disappointment from like my math

0:19:00.309,0:19:04.869
teacher or anyone else who knew about

0:19:02.080,0:19:06.340
that well I could certainly see how that

0:19:04.869,0:19:08.289
would discourage you from wanting to go

0:19:06.340,0:19:10.659
back to school yeah I just had really

0:19:08.289,0:19:12.759
high expectations for myself and when I

0:19:10.659,0:19:15.609
didn’t meet it I’m really hard on myself

0:19:12.759,0:19:18.429
how about rejection from your peers you

0:19:15.609,0:19:20.200
had mentioned during sixth grade not

0:19:18.429,0:19:22.960
really having anyone that talked to you

0:19:20.200,0:19:25.239
have you experienced outright rejection

0:19:22.960,0:19:27.639
where where they’re shunning you or

0:19:25.239,0:19:29.259
their their ostracizing you and not

0:19:27.639,0:19:33.249
including you in things

0:19:29.259,0:19:35.499
I mean people never interacted with me

0:19:33.249,0:19:37.299
really like no one who was feeling my

0:19:35.499,0:19:39.599
friends unless they were just outright

0:19:37.299,0:19:42.639
being rude to me none of my classmates

0:19:39.599,0:19:44.289
deliberately went out and rejected me I

0:19:42.639,0:19:46.809
do remember at the end of the school

0:19:44.289,0:19:50.379
year though everyone had been doing

0:19:46.809,0:19:52.720
these voting for best student for

0:19:50.379,0:19:55.989
whatever and I really didn’t care that I

0:19:52.720,0:19:58.749
didn’t win any but I realized that no

0:19:55.989,0:20:01.269
one really noticed me like there was

0:19:58.749,0:20:04.090
only one person who voted me for

0:20:01.269,0:20:06.999
anything and there was like only one

0:20:04.090,0:20:09.039
time my name actually showed up and it

0:20:06.999,0:20:12.279
made me realize that no one really

0:20:09.039,0:20:14.200
noticed me not that that’s necessarily a

0:20:12.279,0:20:17.519
bad thing you know there are advantages

0:20:14.200,0:20:17.519
of flying below the radar

0:20:17.580,0:20:22.019
what about another reason they talk

0:20:19.590,0:20:25.559
about here is family conflicts and

0:20:22.019,0:20:27.899
problems at home have you had to contend

0:20:25.559,0:20:30.809
with anything like that I mean no you

0:20:27.899,0:20:33.179
guys are very kind to me and we never

0:20:30.809,0:20:34.999
really get in any fights you don’t

0:20:33.179,0:20:37.619
normally yell at me for anything

0:20:34.999,0:20:41.970
although sometimes I think you are going

0:20:37.619,0:20:44.009
no because I did like I had a bad grade

0:20:41.970,0:20:46.590
and I’m afraid you gonna yell at me for

0:20:44.009,0:20:48.240
it but we never really have any bad

0:20:46.590,0:20:50.509
conflicts and that never really stopped

0:20:48.240,0:20:54.240
me from going to school in fact it was

0:20:50.509,0:20:56.389
it was actually a reason on why coming

0:20:54.240,0:20:58.710
home from school was a good thing like

0:20:56.389,0:21:02.399
when I had a bad day I would come to you

0:20:58.710,0:21:06.090
guys ya know do you think any of your

0:21:02.399,0:21:08.549
friends may be facing some some family

0:21:06.090,0:21:10.769
problems that might be a cause of

0:21:08.549,0:21:14.369
anxiety at school that might want to

0:21:10.769,0:21:16.830
have them not because a lot of times you

0:21:14.369,0:21:19.529
know in when I was going to school there

0:21:16.830,0:21:21.389
were kids that went through divorces hmm

0:21:19.529,0:21:25.289
and when the kids would go through

0:21:21.389,0:21:27.990
divorces there was a they felt they had

0:21:25.289,0:21:30.240
a stigma to them like they people were

0:21:27.990,0:21:31.860
whispering behind their back because of

0:21:30.240,0:21:33.480
what was going on in their family life

0:21:31.860,0:21:36.840
and stuff like I’m and that’s one friend

0:21:33.480,0:21:41.039
of mine who was a very good student very

0:21:36.840,0:21:44.129
good kid and was genuinely very kind

0:21:41.039,0:21:45.929
others and then when his mom and dad

0:21:44.129,0:21:48.360
started running into these problems and

0:21:45.929,0:21:51.570
they eventually divorced he became a

0:21:48.360,0:21:53.100
very different person and it turned out

0:21:51.570,0:21:55.919
the people around him weren’t treating

0:21:53.100,0:21:57.809
him differently because of his family

0:21:55.919,0:22:01.529
life they were treating him differently

0:21:57.809,0:22:03.240
because he was acting differently do you

0:22:01.529,0:22:04.889
know of any of your friends that may be

0:22:03.240,0:22:08.070
going through something like this that

0:22:04.889,0:22:11.460
that you might be concerned about I mean

0:22:08.070,0:22:14.460
my one friend I met um this year he had

0:22:11.460,0:22:18.240
actually once I got to know him a bit he

0:22:14.460,0:22:19.890
had told me about a few problems he was

0:22:18.240,0:22:22.380
having at home

0:22:19.890,0:22:23.880
not necessarily with his parents but

0:22:22.380,0:22:26.580
with his grandparents who they were

0:22:23.880,0:22:29.550
living with they’d been going through a

0:22:26.580,0:22:32.640
few problems and some of the reasons

0:22:29.550,0:22:37.140
like I said before that he was um out of

0:22:32.640,0:22:39.870
school was due to his family issues so

0:22:37.140,0:22:42.290
it was kind of I’d imagine that’d be

0:22:39.870,0:22:45.000
kind of hard for him to come to school

0:22:42.290,0:22:49.200
after with having to deal with the

0:22:45.000,0:22:50.700
family problems although no one well at

0:22:49.200,0:22:52.860
least not that I told me no one actually

0:22:50.700,0:22:54.930
made fun of him for it they made fun of

0:22:52.860,0:22:57.270
him for other reasons but no one

0:22:54.930,0:23:00.720
actually like said anything bad about

0:22:57.270,0:23:02.940
his family or any or really um had

0:23:00.720,0:23:06.870
picked on him for his family reasons

0:23:02.940,0:23:09.450
it’s just he had a sort of a bad family

0:23:06.870,0:23:11.040
life and I can see why he would might

0:23:09.450,0:23:14.100
not want to go to school because of it

0:23:11.040,0:23:17.040
yeah I could certainly see that the last

0:23:14.100,0:23:19.380
two common reasons they have here are

0:23:17.040,0:23:23.460
medical reasons one being a physical

0:23:19.380,0:23:25.980
illness and the other being the presence

0:23:23.460,0:23:29.010
of an actual anxiety disorder that that

0:23:25.980,0:23:31.080
you may be suffering from I wanted to

0:23:29.010,0:23:32.990
talk briefly about of the physical

0:23:31.080,0:23:38.360
illness

0:23:32.990,0:23:41.690
there are people who have dietary issues

0:23:38.360,0:23:43.640
there are in fact I work with with

0:23:41.690,0:23:46.910
someone who has celiac where they can’t

0:23:43.640,0:23:49.730
digest carbs correctly and it causes

0:23:46.910,0:23:52.130
problems I had a friend whose wife had

0:23:49.730,0:23:55.400
some dietary issues so it was very

0:23:52.130,0:23:57.080
difficult for for her to go out of the

0:23:55.400,0:23:59.840
house and be too far away from a

0:23:57.080,0:24:03.080
restroom I had another friend of mine

0:23:59.840,0:24:06.350
that I’d worked with who had a genetic

0:24:03.080,0:24:08.300
disorder that caused her difficulty

0:24:06.350,0:24:11.720
moving around so she had to walk with

0:24:08.300,0:24:13.910
crutches and stuff do you have anybody

0:24:11.720,0:24:16.880
in school like that who was who was

0:24:13.910,0:24:20.059
suffering from a physical condition or

0:24:16.880,0:24:22.130
ailment or something like that that that

0:24:20.059,0:24:24.650
might make it very difficult for them to

0:24:22.130,0:24:26.809
go to school on a regular basis well I

0:24:24.650,0:24:31.040
know that it was this one girl who was

0:24:26.809,0:24:33.590
in a few of my classes I noticed after a

0:24:31.040,0:24:35.690
little while she had had a few problems

0:24:33.590,0:24:40.370
with her legs to the point where she had

0:24:35.690,0:24:44.030
to take the elevator down I’m not going

0:24:40.370,0:24:46.550
to go into detail but it was it walked

0:24:44.030,0:24:48.679
strange and her knees weren’t exactly in

0:24:46.550,0:24:52.370
the right positions and she had to take

0:24:48.679,0:24:55.870
the elevator down and I can see why she

0:24:52.370,0:24:58.309
might not want to go to school because

0:24:55.870,0:25:00.110
the only people who use the elevator

0:24:58.309,0:25:02.210
were people who couldn’t go down the

0:25:00.110,0:25:06.200
stairs if they had like a broken leg or

0:25:02.210,0:25:08.410
any body placement that would cause them

0:25:06.200,0:25:10.940
to have problems going down the stairs

0:25:08.410,0:25:13.900
and I can see why you would have made

0:25:10.940,0:25:16.700
her it might it might have made her it

0:25:13.900,0:25:21.350
harder to go to school because of that

0:25:16.700,0:25:24.440
because people it’s strange to see

0:25:21.350,0:25:26.660
people who don’t look like the average

0:25:24.440,0:25:28.520
human being and I accept those kinds of

0:25:26.660,0:25:31.820
people because I understand that they

0:25:28.520,0:25:36.110
might have fear of having society judge

0:25:31.820,0:25:39.500
them when you had an issue

0:25:36.110,0:25:42.860
a few years back when you had the HMS

0:25:39.500,0:25:45.350
and you were having the the cramping in

0:25:42.860,0:25:49.429
the legs and you were developing the

0:25:45.350,0:25:51.410
rash and stuff like that that was

0:25:49.429,0:25:52.880
happening during the summer though so

0:25:51.410,0:25:56.030
you you weren’t going to school at the

0:25:52.880,0:25:57.380
time but had you been in school at that

0:25:56.030,0:25:59.090
time that’s something we would have

0:25:57.380,0:26:04.370
wound up keeping you home for because

0:25:59.090,0:26:06.020
you literally couldn’t walk so there are

0:26:04.370,0:26:08.360
temporary conditions like that that

0:26:06.020,0:26:12.260
could cause this as well and the last

0:26:08.360,0:26:14.750
thing that they mentioned in here is an

0:26:12.260,0:26:16.929
anxiety disorder you know you may suffer

0:26:14.750,0:26:16.929
from

0:26:17.290,0:26:22.130
like I can’t think of any any anxiety

0:26:20.090,0:26:24.470
disorders off in my head but you know

0:26:22.130,0:26:28.910
there may be certain phobias that you

0:26:24.470,0:26:31.670
have like for instance if you’re afraid

0:26:28.910,0:26:33.260
of germs you know being in a place where

0:26:31.670,0:26:36.080
you’re surrounded by all these other

0:26:33.260,0:26:37.490
people and you’re elbow-to-elbow going

0:26:36.080,0:26:41.060
through the hallways and stuff like that

0:26:37.490,0:26:42.440
I could very easily be overwhelming for

0:26:41.060,0:26:46.700
someone like that don’t you think

0:26:42.440,0:26:49.580
yeah definitely like having to be in

0:26:46.700,0:26:53.060
that kind of environment would like make

0:26:49.580,0:26:58.820
a germophobe just freak out immediately

0:26:53.060,0:27:01.100
and I and it would make sense cuz school

0:26:58.820,0:27:04.010
is basically filled with germs and it’s

0:27:01.100,0:27:06.590
one of the main reasons why we have

0:27:04.010,0:27:09.140
remote learning now because there’s so

0:27:06.590,0:27:12.560
much contact with other people yeah

0:27:09.140,0:27:14.750
that’s absolutely correct so they are

0:27:12.560,0:27:18.950
sort of the common reasons people

0:27:14.750,0:27:20.510
develop school refusal but we’re gonna

0:27:18.950,0:27:22.400
take another quick break we’ll come back

0:27:20.510,0:27:24.350
and we’re going to look at what parents

0:27:22.400,0:27:36.590
can do to help their children in these

0:27:24.350,0:27:38.960
situations insights into entertainment a

0:27:36.590,0:27:41.919
podcast series taking a deeper look into

0:27:38.960,0:27:45.020
entertainment and media

0:27:41.919,0:27:47.480
our husband-and-wife team of pop culture

0:27:45.020,0:27:49.880
fanatics are exploring all things for

0:27:47.480,0:27:54.350
music and movies to television and

0:27:49.880,0:27:57.850
fandom we’ll look at the interesting and

0:27:54.350,0:28:00.650
obscure entertainment news of the week

0:27:57.850,0:28:03.049
we’ll talk about theme park and pop

0:28:00.650,0:28:06.010
culture news we’ll give you the latest

0:28:03.049,0:28:08.929
and greatest on pop culture conventions

0:28:06.010,0:28:14.030
will give you a deep dive into Disney

0:28:08.929,0:28:17.360
Star Wars and much more check out our

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video episodes at youtube.com backslash

0:28:17.360,0:28:23.299
insights into things our audio episodes

0:28:20.840,0:28:26.690
at podcast insights into entertainment

0:28:23.299,0:28:29.850
calm or check us out on the web at

0:28:26.690,0:28:31.910
insights into things calm

0:28:29.850,0:28:31.910
you

0:28:36.480,0:28:41.050
so you know pears are here to help you

0:28:39.340,0:28:42.700
right mm-hmm you know whether it’s your

0:28:41.050,0:28:45.940
parents your guardians could be your

0:28:42.700,0:28:47.680
grandparents whoever it is so there’s a

0:28:45.940,0:28:50.680
number of things that parents can do to

0:28:47.680,0:28:52.510
help in these situations the first one

0:28:50.680,0:28:56.440
they talk about is exposing children to

0:28:52.510,0:28:59.800
school in small degrees one of the

0:28:56.440,0:29:02.940
things that one of the transitionary

0:28:59.800,0:29:05.980
periods that you have sometimes is

0:29:02.940,0:29:08.140
children that are home-schooled who have

0:29:05.980,0:29:10.620
to transition into a public school for

0:29:08.140,0:29:13.330
whatever reason you know they’re

0:29:10.620,0:29:15.910
graduating out of the point where

0:29:13.330,0:29:18.420
they’re in homeschooling and they’re

0:29:15.910,0:29:20.620
going to college or something like that

0:29:18.420,0:29:23.740
or you know you might have a situation

0:29:20.620,0:29:25.990
where for financial reasons the parent

0:29:23.740,0:29:28.720
who’s homeschooling you has to stay home

0:29:25.990,0:29:32.320
it has to go get a job and you have to

0:29:28.720,0:29:36.340
start you know public school and that

0:29:32.320,0:29:38.710
could be a real change to you so they

0:29:36.340,0:29:40.300
say increase exposure over time with

0:29:38.710,0:29:41.980
anything that you might have a phobia

0:29:40.300,0:29:45.220
we’ve talked about this in our phobias

0:29:41.980,0:29:47.860
is to sort of ramp up your exposure to

0:29:45.220,0:29:49.570
the thing that causes your anxiety so

0:29:47.860,0:29:54.010
that you can start to build a tolerance

0:29:49.570,0:29:56.350
to it and and eventually realize that

0:29:54.010,0:29:58.330
there’s nothing to fear

0:29:56.350,0:30:00.890
and that nothing Bad’s going to happen

0:29:58.330,0:30:03.740
so that’s kind of a simple one

0:30:00.890,0:30:07.480
the other one is talk you know talk to

0:30:03.740,0:30:09.490
your child about the feelings and fears

0:30:07.480,0:30:11.260
and we do this a lot I mean this is

0:30:09.490,0:30:13.750
really what the exercise of the podcast

0:30:11.260,0:30:17.020
this year’s is to talk about these

0:30:13.750,0:30:18.700
things when you got your bad grade you

0:30:17.020,0:30:20.260
know we preempted what we had planned

0:30:18.700,0:30:23.740
for the podcast to talk about these

0:30:20.260,0:30:25.300
things do you find talking about these

0:30:23.740,0:30:26.590
things you know

0:30:25.300,0:30:29.890
whether it’s things that are bothering

0:30:26.590,0:30:31.600
you or things that you’re afraid of or

0:30:29.890,0:30:36.000
things that are causing you anxiety do

0:30:31.600,0:30:43.030
you find a benefit from that yeah I do

0:30:36.000,0:30:46.870
having having someone listened to me

0:30:43.030,0:30:49.960
talk and how I expressed my day and how

0:30:46.870,0:30:52.240
I express my problems and sometimes

0:30:49.960,0:30:56.650
getting a solution for it really helps

0:30:52.240,0:31:00.040
me it feels good to have someone who

0:30:56.650,0:31:03.340
listens to you and I really love the

0:31:00.040,0:31:05.800
support you guys give me and and I’m on

0:31:03.340,0:31:09.460
and I honestly really benefit from the

0:31:05.800,0:31:13.360
podcast because not only am I am i

0:31:09.460,0:31:15.910
helping my own mental mental issues and

0:31:13.360,0:31:18.450
other issues like that but I’m able to

0:31:15.910,0:31:20.620
help others as well right that’s true

0:31:18.450,0:31:26.490
one of the other things they talk about

0:31:20.620,0:31:28.360
is self-help techniques and a sign from

0:31:26.490,0:31:31.230
resolving some of the issues that

0:31:28.360,0:31:33.400
someone might have through self-help

0:31:31.230,0:31:36.760
self-help is also very empowering

0:31:33.400,0:31:39.490
because by solving your own problems and

0:31:36.760,0:31:41.680
not having to get a prescription for it

0:31:39.490,0:31:44.370
or something like that solving your own

0:31:41.680,0:31:47.680
problems is very empowering for people

0:31:44.370,0:31:49.630
so they suggest you know doing your own

0:31:47.680,0:31:53.790
research for self help look reading

0:31:49.630,0:31:56.410
books for self help be open to new ideas

0:31:53.790,0:32:01.120
the parents should be open the new ideas

0:31:56.410,0:32:03.790
so that the child is as well if we as

0:32:01.120,0:32:06.490
parents are closed minded and not

0:32:03.790,0:32:08.260
objective that’s exactly how our

0:32:06.490,0:32:10.000
children are going to wind up being and

0:32:08.260,0:32:11.740
sometimes you need to be open and

0:32:10.000,0:32:14.970
flexible in order to get through certain

0:32:11.740,0:32:14.970
difficult situations

0:32:15.170,0:32:19.950
meet with the school counselor now we’ve

0:32:18.299,0:32:22.559
not met with your counselor yet although

0:32:19.950,0:32:24.690
I think mommy’s been in touch with your

0:32:22.559,0:32:26.790
teachers and so forth and communicating

0:32:24.690,0:32:29.040
I know we’ve talked to previous teachers

0:32:26.790,0:32:31.280
and we try to attend the the

0:32:29.040,0:32:33.330
parent-teacher conferences and

0:32:31.280,0:32:36.059
back-to-school nights and stuff like

0:32:33.330,0:32:38.160
that how much communication do you have

0:32:36.059,0:32:43.110
with your teachers or with the

0:32:38.160,0:32:44.970
counselors at school about these anxiety

0:32:43.110,0:32:48.030
generating things or anything in general

0:32:44.970,0:32:50.190
how’s the communication I mean I

0:32:48.030,0:32:53.360
remember in the beginning of the year I

0:32:50.190,0:32:55.860
was called to the school counselor to

0:32:53.360,0:32:59.370
sort of have a check-up for her to get

0:32:55.860,0:33:02.520
to know all the students that is all the

0:32:59.370,0:33:06.809
new 7th graders and it was sort of like

0:33:02.520,0:33:08.730
making sure that you were all right and

0:33:06.809,0:33:10.470
if you ever needed to come in you were

0:33:08.730,0:33:13.770
loud you just had to ask your teacher

0:33:10.470,0:33:17.010
about it so I definitely think that the

0:33:13.770,0:33:20.940
school counselor would definitely help

0:33:17.010,0:33:24.630
if anyone needed to have a talk about

0:33:20.940,0:33:28.730
anything and they had and I remember

0:33:24.630,0:33:32.160
when I was in the nurse office and the

0:33:28.730,0:33:35.190
counselors office they had had this one

0:33:32.160,0:33:38.040
sign where whatever you say stays

0:33:35.190,0:33:42.150
whatever they talk about stays in there

0:33:38.040,0:33:44.520
unless it’s something serious and it was

0:33:42.150,0:33:46.140
also kind of relieving to know because

0:33:44.520,0:33:48.270
you were able to get that extra help

0:33:46.140,0:33:50.700
well that’s good yeah I mean privacy I

0:33:48.270,0:33:52.559
think is important when you’re talking

0:33:50.700,0:33:55.380
about any kind of counseling session

0:33:52.559,0:33:59.280
like that one of the other things they

0:33:55.380,0:34:01.559
suggest is arranging an informal meeting

0:33:59.280,0:34:04.110
with your child’s teacher away from

0:34:01.559,0:34:08.250
classroom I don’t know how many teachers

0:34:04.110,0:34:09.750
are really willing to do something like

0:34:08.250,0:34:11.610
that I’m sure there are a number of them

0:34:09.750,0:34:13.860
that are

0:34:11.610,0:34:16.170
but we’ve never had to do anything like

0:34:13.860,0:34:18.540
that in your case here any meetings

0:34:16.170,0:34:22.380
we’ve had with your teacher has been

0:34:18.540,0:34:26.429
either at the school or you know mommy

0:34:22.380,0:34:27.960
was kind enough to FaceTime with me for

0:34:26.429,0:34:30.320
a couple of them so I could participate

0:34:27.960,0:34:32.790
yeah

0:34:30.320,0:34:35.580
they also say they’ll encourage hobbies

0:34:32.790,0:34:41.070
and your children and and nurture these

0:34:35.580,0:34:43.200
interests fun is relaxing and relaxation

0:34:41.070,0:34:44.400
is the key to really distressing right

0:34:43.200,0:34:46.410
mm-hmm

0:34:44.400,0:34:49.230
and the other thing and we sort of

0:34:46.410,0:34:51.660
touched on this last week it’s that

0:34:49.230,0:34:54.780
hobbies are a good distraction to help

0:34:51.660,0:34:56.580
you build self-confidence so when you’re

0:34:54.780,0:35:00.090
working on something where you’re in the

0:34:56.580,0:35:02.310
zone like we had talked about you can

0:35:00.090,0:35:04.430
shut out the whole world you can shut

0:35:02.310,0:35:08.010
out these things that stress you out and

0:35:04.430,0:35:09.690
focus on building your Legos or building

0:35:08.010,0:35:14.360
your house and Sims or whatever it is

0:35:09.690,0:35:18.270
and that mental focus is very

0:35:14.360,0:35:20.220
therapeutic for you what when you’re

0:35:18.270,0:35:23.580
stressed out what hobbies do you find

0:35:20.220,0:35:26.790
that you fall into as a means of

0:35:23.580,0:35:28.860
relaxing and distressing I mean the

0:35:26.790,0:35:31.320
obvious one is drawling I’ve mentioned

0:35:28.860,0:35:33.750
that multiple times I mean I know that

0:35:31.320,0:35:36.060
when I’m drawing on designing the

0:35:33.750,0:35:38.280
character and the fact that I need

0:35:36.060,0:35:40.980
everything to be perfect definitely

0:35:38.280,0:35:43.770
takes out definitely like gets me away

0:35:40.980,0:35:45.450
from all my anxiety that I’ve built up

0:35:43.770,0:35:49.560
over the day and it’s a good stress

0:35:45.450,0:35:52.020
reliever and helps me calm down also

0:35:49.560,0:35:54.420
like I said doing the Sims

0:35:52.020,0:35:57.660
building the house creating a family

0:35:54.420,0:35:59.400
that’s also helpful um most of my

0:35:57.660,0:36:01.620
hobbies are able to take my attention

0:35:59.400,0:36:04.290
away from that because my concentration

0:36:01.620,0:36:07.500
is just solely based on that and my

0:36:04.290,0:36:09.950
creativity eventually takes over and my

0:36:07.500,0:36:12.720
anxiety by that point is just forgotten

0:36:09.950,0:36:15.810
until it’s brought up again well and

0:36:12.720,0:36:19.520
what I like about this summary that you

0:36:15.810,0:36:23.310
just gave is the hobbies that you find

0:36:19.520,0:36:24.390
solace in our constructive hobbies you

0:36:23.310,0:36:26.549
know it’s drawn

0:36:24.390,0:36:30.200
it’s creating something or it’s building

0:36:26.549,0:36:33.119
something or it’s you know it’s not

0:36:30.200,0:36:36.569
watching TV it’s not anything works like

0:36:33.119,0:36:39.150
some brain numbing thing or you know the

0:36:36.569,0:36:42.150
video games that you play yeah we used

0:36:39.150,0:36:44.519
to distress playing Call of Duty and and

0:36:42.150,0:36:48.779
let’s face it that is a good distress er

0:36:44.519,0:36:51.000
but the ones that you fall back to by

0:36:48.779,0:36:53.250
default are very constructive ones which

0:36:51.000,0:36:55.160
I think speaks volumes about your

0:36:53.250,0:36:57.329
character

0:36:55.160,0:37:00.450
they also say that parents should

0:36:57.329,0:37:03.540
emphasize the positive aspects of going

0:37:00.450,0:37:04.950
to school they have three here let me

0:37:03.540,0:37:09.410
see if you can come up with the three

0:37:04.950,0:37:12.660
what do you think they are I’m assuming

0:37:09.410,0:37:14.240
being with friends that’s number one on

0:37:12.660,0:37:18.150
the list

0:37:14.240,0:37:24.470
receiving good grades not on the list

0:37:18.150,0:37:24.470
but learning learning a favorite subject

0:37:24.530,0:37:29.210
and what’s the last one you’ll never get

0:37:29.600,0:37:34.890
[Music]

0:37:32.809,0:37:38.210
because it has to do with your least

0:37:34.890,0:37:42.329
favorite subject let me guess

0:37:38.210,0:37:45.510
being able to run around outside playing

0:37:42.329,0:37:48.089
at recess and gym and luncheon and by

0:37:45.510,0:37:49.800
playing at lunch you mean just going on

0:37:48.089,0:37:53.099
your phone because that’s probably what

0:37:49.800,0:37:55.700
most people actually do well and you

0:37:53.099,0:37:58.109
know you figure from your perspective

0:37:55.700,0:38:00.210
it’s an opportunity for you to interact

0:37:58.109,0:38:01.740
with your friends because you don’t get

0:38:00.210,0:38:03.240
to always see them outside of school

0:38:01.740,0:38:04.980
because not all your friends live close

0:38:03.240,0:38:07.980
to you

0:38:04.980,0:38:09.869
when I was growing up I lived in a

0:38:07.980,0:38:11.790
different town than my school so if I

0:38:09.869,0:38:15.300
wanted to go to a friend’s house I was a

0:38:11.790,0:38:17.490
couple miles away I I had to walk or I

0:38:15.300,0:38:18.869
had to get a ride and getting a ride was

0:38:17.490,0:38:22.859
very difficult because of the hours that

0:38:18.869,0:38:24.180
my father were mm-hmm so I enjoyed going

0:38:22.859,0:38:25.680
to school because I got to spend time

0:38:24.180,0:38:28.800
with my friends that I didn’t normally

0:38:25.680,0:38:30.630
get to spend time with and then I had

0:38:28.800,0:38:33.090
friends that were in my neighborhood

0:38:30.630,0:38:35.700
that were different grade levels and

0:38:33.090,0:38:37.980
stuff like that so there was certain

0:38:35.700,0:38:39.630
appeal to that there was also certain

0:38:37.980,0:38:42.210
sports that I liked to play in gym I

0:38:39.630,0:38:44.190
loved playing volleyball and I didn’t

0:38:42.210,0:38:48.400
really have an opportunity to play that

0:38:44.190,0:38:53.059
too much outside of school

0:38:48.400,0:38:55.099
ironically I played volleyball in a

0:38:53.059,0:38:56.930
church league for a friend of mine and

0:38:55.099,0:39:00.799
shattered my ankle but had nothing to do

0:38:56.930,0:39:03.289
with school did that kind of turn me off

0:39:00.799,0:39:06.049
from playing volleyball but yeah those

0:39:03.289,0:39:08.690
are the those are the key things and the

0:39:06.049,0:39:10.160
last thing that they talk about and I

0:39:08.690,0:39:11.809
think this is very important especially

0:39:10.160,0:39:12.680
from our perspective and I’ll tell you

0:39:11.809,0:39:15.680
why in a minute

0:39:12.680,0:39:19.490
and that’s the help your child establish

0:39:15.680,0:39:21.710
a support system a variety of people

0:39:19.490,0:39:23.690
should be in your child’s life other

0:39:21.710,0:39:25.490
children as well as family members and

0:39:23.690,0:39:29.539
teachers who are willing to talk to your

0:39:25.490,0:39:32.400
child it’s important I think for us

0:39:29.539,0:39:36.450
because

0:39:32.400,0:39:39.599
the family on my side of our family is

0:39:36.450,0:39:41.640
gone and the family on mommy side of the

0:39:39.599,0:39:44.450
family run so we don’t really have much

0:39:41.640,0:39:47.579
in the way of a support system here

0:39:44.450,0:39:51.359
outside of friends and and that makes

0:39:47.579,0:39:54.749
our friends even more special to us

0:39:51.359,0:39:58.259
you know aunt Chris Uncle Dan

0:39:54.749,0:40:00.809
Aunt Sally Aunt Nancy you know these are

0:39:58.259,0:40:03.599
the people who are really our extended

0:40:00.809,0:40:06.890
family and these are the people that are

0:40:03.599,0:40:11.369
there and they support us you know like

0:40:06.890,0:40:13.079
if mommy or I go out to I don’t know a

0:40:11.369,0:40:16.289
concert or something like that

0:40:13.079,0:40:18.989
you get to spend an evening with Aunt

0:40:16.289,0:40:21.150
Nancy let’s say and you guys have a ball

0:40:18.989,0:40:23.810
you know I think she looks forward to it

0:40:21.150,0:40:27.470
as much as you do

0:40:23.810,0:40:29.270
when I was growing up it was family that

0:40:27.470,0:40:31.550
that was there you know my aunts and

0:40:29.270,0:40:32.990
uncles and cousins and stuff like that

0:40:31.550,0:40:37.250
or my neighbors because we were very

0:40:32.990,0:40:39.440
close to our neighbors so mommy and I we

0:40:37.250,0:40:40.940
didn’t grow up in the neighborhood we

0:40:39.440,0:40:44.900
live in so we don’t have a neighbor

0:40:40.940,0:40:46.900
support organization here we don’t have

0:40:44.900,0:40:49.640
family to speak up so we don’t have that

0:40:46.900,0:40:52.130
so we’re very fortunate with the friends

0:40:49.640,0:40:54.140
which actually are mommy’s friends since

0:40:52.130,0:40:55.660
I don’t really have any friends that

0:40:54.140,0:41:00.080
live near us

0:40:55.660,0:41:01.790
there are many friends to speak of to

0:41:00.080,0:41:05.000
begin with which is kind of sad now that

0:41:01.790,0:41:06.680
I think about it you realize just how

0:41:05.000,0:41:08.630
much of an introvert you actually are

0:41:06.680,0:41:12.350
yeah I don’t have friends I just borrow

0:41:08.630,0:41:14.090
mommy’s friends yeah but I think that’s

0:41:12.350,0:41:18.050
important you know having these other

0:41:14.090,0:41:21.950
people involved in your life you just

0:41:18.050,0:41:25.970
look at the the clan from aunt Kris and

0:41:21.950,0:41:28.910
and every variety of every spice of life

0:41:25.970,0:41:31.040
that you could think of comes out of you

0:41:28.910,0:41:32.690
know the Lehigh Valley up there and you

0:41:31.040,0:41:34.640
could do experience just about

0:41:32.690,0:41:39.170
everything imaginable I think that’s

0:41:34.640,0:41:43.250
such a great spectrum to be able to to

0:41:39.170,0:41:44.930
bask in you know yeah so it’s important

0:41:43.250,0:41:47.270
to have that support system whether it’s

0:41:44.930,0:41:50.870
friends or family coworkers whatever it

0:41:47.270,0:41:53.810
is that’s one of the things that parents

0:41:50.870,0:41:55.520
and guardians really need to set up for

0:41:53.810,0:41:58.190
their kids there because it’s you can’t

0:41:55.520,0:41:59.390
always talk to us right sometimes you

0:41:58.190,0:42:00.830
have to talk to your friends because

0:41:59.390,0:42:03.110
your stuff you just don’t feel

0:42:00.830,0:42:04.490
comfortable talking to us about you know

0:42:03.110,0:42:06.520
if you haven’t gotten at that point you

0:42:04.490,0:42:11.060
will I could promise you that

0:42:06.520,0:42:14.420
so that’s why I’m always encouraging you

0:42:11.060,0:42:17.330
to make friends because you’ll need them

0:42:14.420,0:42:18.110
at some point in time if for no other

0:42:17.330,0:42:20.000
reason

0:42:18.110,0:42:21.980
you know just mental checks to make sure

0:42:20.000,0:42:23.240
that you know you’re not stepping

0:42:21.980,0:42:27.100
outside the bounds of where you should

0:42:23.240,0:42:29.600
be so that was all I had today though

0:42:27.100,0:42:30.840
we’re gonna take a quick break we’ll

0:42:29.600,0:42:32.670
come back

0:42:30.840,0:42:42.060
and we’ll get your closing remarks and

0:42:32.670,0:42:46.440
any shoutouts do you have so go for your

0:42:42.060,0:42:47.940
closing remark alrighty so I’ll start

0:42:46.440,0:42:51.360
off by saying it’s good to have a

0:42:47.940,0:42:55.110
support system and if you are struggling

0:42:51.360,0:42:57.150
with stuff at school and reasons on why

0:42:55.110,0:43:00.570
you don’t want to go to school it’s

0:42:57.150,0:43:03.660
always important to go to a good support

0:43:00.570,0:43:06.210
system and talk to them about it and

0:43:03.660,0:43:08.070
maybe they’ll be able to and they’ll do

0:43:06.210,0:43:12.840
pretty much everything they in their

0:43:08.070,0:43:20.850
power to help you and maybe help and

0:43:12.840,0:43:23.310
help you not sorry and they all will be

0:43:20.850,0:43:27.000
able to help you not have that fear of

0:43:23.310,0:43:29.160
having to stay home from school and they

0:43:27.000,0:43:31.350
might not even be able to help you with

0:43:29.160,0:43:33.720
any of the bullies you might be facing

0:43:31.350,0:43:35.940
so it’s always good to have a support

0:43:33.720,0:43:37.620
system and try and talk about your

0:43:35.940,0:43:41.930
problems I know it’s difficult

0:43:37.620,0:43:44.940
I had trouble in the beginning and I

0:43:41.930,0:43:48.330
definitely know I’ve it’s gotten easier

0:43:44.940,0:43:51.720
for me so just know it’s better to have

0:43:48.330,0:43:53.370
a support system and if you do need to

0:43:51.720,0:43:55.470
talk about problems it’s always good to

0:43:53.370,0:43:59.280
it’s always good to try and talk about

0:43:55.470,0:44:00.990
them ok I think that sums it up pretty

0:43:59.280,0:44:02.850
well there I think talking and

0:44:00.990,0:44:06.000
communications a big thing never be

0:44:02.850,0:44:09.150
afraid to talk about the issues before

0:44:06.000,0:44:13.050
we go I do want to invite you to

0:44:09.150,0:44:17.790
subscribe to us on Apple podcast you can

0:44:13.050,0:44:20.250
get our audio podcast on Apple podcasts

0:44:17.790,0:44:23.940
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0:44:20.250,0:44:26.790
podcast networks as insights into teens

0:44:23.940,0:44:29.460
or you can get our video version of our

0:44:26.790,0:44:31.740
podcast if you do a search for insights

0:44:29.460,0:44:35.460
into things that will get you all of our

0:44:31.740,0:44:37.440
podcasts and video other than night you

0:44:35.460,0:44:39.720
can email us at comments at insights

0:44:37.440,0:44:41.970
into things calm you can get us on

0:44:39.720,0:44:44.490
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0:44:41.970,0:44:45.869
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0:44:44.490,0:44:49.160
high res versions are available on

0:44:45.869,0:44:51.720
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0:44:49.160,0:44:53.940
you can get links to all of this plus

0:44:51.720,0:44:59.940
show notes and transcripts on our

0:44:53.940,0:45:03.030
website at WWE in two things calm and we

0:44:59.940,0:45:06.210
do have an article recently posted up on

0:45:03.030,0:45:08.700
medium on this subject if you visit

0:45:06.210,0:45:12.090
medium.com slash insights into things

0:45:08.700,0:45:14.880
and you and don’t forget to check out

0:45:12.090,0:45:17.250
our other two podcast insights in the

0:45:14.880,0:45:20.490
entertainment hosted by you and mommy

0:45:17.250,0:45:23.340
and insight into tomorrow our monthly

0:45:20.490,0:45:28.170
podcast hosted by you and my brother Sam

0:45:23.340,0:45:32.210
yes and I think that is it for today yep

0:45:28.170,0:46:02.369
another one in the books everyone bye

0:45:32.210,0:46:02.369
[Music]

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