Insights Into Teens: Episode 113 “Jealousy and Teens”

This week we’re talking about jealousy and teens. We’ll talk a little about the nature of jealousy. We’ll explore how we can turn jealousy into a constructive inspiration and grow from it as an individual. Then we’ll explore the common types of jealousy most teens might face. And finally we’ll talk about tips on how to deal with jealousy.

Show Notes

INTRO THEME]

  • [INTRODUCTIONS]
    • Insights Into Teens: Episode 113 “Jealousy with Teens”
    • My mature and intelligence co-host Madison Whalen
    • Summary
      • This week we’re talking about jealousy and teens. We’ll talk a little about the nature of jealousy. We’ll explore how we can turn jealousy into a constructive inspiration and grow from it as an individual. Then we’ll explore the common types of jealousy most teens might face. And finally we’ll talk about tips on how to deal with jealousy.
    • [Show Plugs]

[TRANSITION]

   [SEGMENT 1] 

https://www.modernmom.com/2e194ad4-051f-11e2-9d62-404062497d7e.html

https://bit.ly/3iqATGB

  • Jealousy is all too common among teens. 
    • While it would be ideal if all teen relationships were simple and harmonious, that is not always the case. 
    • As a parent, you can help your teen cope with their jealousy, as well as the jealousy of your teen’s peers by better understanding how jealousy works in teen relationships and what can be done to overcome this potentially relationship-ruining problem.
  • While no gender holds the patent on jealous behavior, studies show that girls tend to be more likely to become jealous than boys. 
    • No one has been able to pinpoint the specific reason why female teens are more likely to experience jealousy than male teens
    • It could be because girls have higher expectations for relationships and care more about what others are doing, saying or wearing
    • Jealousy isn’t gender specific, but it is worthwhile understanding there is an increased likely in girls than boys
    • Understanding this can help a parent to be more proactive in combating what can otherwise turn into a painful situation
  • Growing from Jealousy
  • Jealousy is a natural emotion and, with work, can be improved. 
    • If your teen says or does things that indicate that they are likely jealous of another individual, you can help them get over this feeling. 
    • Encourage them to communicate both to you and to the person of whom they’re jealous of.
    • In all likelihood, they admire the source of their jealousy and, if they communicated with the individual, could have a healthy relationship with this person.
  • Point out their own self-worth
    • Remind them that they are a valuable person who can make a difference. 
    • Remind them that they don’t need anyone else to make them complete and that they are a wonderful person all on their own. 
    • By doing these things, you can enable your teen to put an end to their jealousy.
  • Grow from your experience
    • Instead of allowing jealousy to be a bad thing, individuals who are jealous can actually grow from the experience. 
    • If your teen is jealous of someone, they likely think that something about that person is enviable. 
    • Ask your teen to list the things that are the cause of their jealousy
    • Then understand what traits, characteristics or qualities of the person your teen can strive for to improve themselves
  • Overcoming materialistic jealousy
    • Inspect this list with your teen and help them consider how they could get some of these things for themselves. 
    • For example, if your teen is jealous of a new game or clothes that someone in their class has, they could do some chores, earn some cash, and buy the item for themselves so that they no longer envy the original owner.

[AD1: SSE]

[SEGMENT 2]

  • Jealousy from Romance
    • This is the most common and frequent type of jealousy. 
    • There is a sense of security in the relationship if love is given from the partner. 
    • However, if the relationship creates insecurity and vulnerability in the mind, then a feeling of fear and jealousy gets generated. 
    • Then, there’s a constant fear of losing one’s importance in the relationship. 
    • Some people experience severe jealousy whenever a new and attractive person comes in contact with their partner.
  • Platonic Jealousy
    • This type is often mistaken for romantic jealousy, but there’s a thin line of difference between the two. 
    • This jealousy can commonly be seen in friendships, when one fears losing a friend to someone else who may be perceived to be a more interesting or friendly person. 
    • The emotional attachment with your own friend is so much that you can’t imagine them with someone else.
  • Jealousy amongst Siblings: 
    • Sibling rivalry is commonly seen in families across the world. 
    • There is a general sense of competition amongst children to be their parent’s favorite child. 
    • There is often a display of jealousy in the following situations
      • on the arrival of a new sibling
      • on being made to share favorite toys, clothes, or other items
      • on being shown less attention
      • experiencing less love than other siblings
      • experiencing a negative comparison made between siblings by parents
      • or when a sibling is smarter or more talented than another.
  • Abnormal Jealousy: 
    • This is a baseless type of jealousy triggered by no possible reasons except psychological problems such as delusions, paranoia or schizophrenia, ect. 
    • Under some extreme cases of abnormal jealousy, a person is known to display immaturity and insecurity along with a controlling nature. 
    • Such people tend to assume that their family members, friends and partners are unfaithful to them.

[AD2: ENTERTAINMENT]

[SEGMENT 3] 

  • Fuel Passion and Help Develop Interests
    • There are people in this world who rarely feel jealous of others. 
    • They are simply too busy working on their passions. 
    • When people take the time to follow their passions and develop their talents, they also develop a strong foundation of self-esteem. 
    • As a parent, it’s your job to help fuel your teen’s self-esteem by supporting her passions and interests.
  • Encourage Platonic Relationships
    • It’s important to support and encourage your daughter to have platonic relationships with friends. 
    • Romantic interests come and go, but platonic relationships can last a lifetime. 
    • Cultivating strong friendships throughout the high-school years can have a profound effect, helping teens develop good communication skills and promoting self-esteem that could continue to grow after they reach adulthood.
  • Teach Acceptance with Rejection
    • Your teen will get rejected by a romantic interest at some point. 
    • It’s also very likely that they will then have to watch that romantic interest pursue someone else. 
    • Teach your kids that it’s okay to get rejected. 
    • Not everyone is going to love them, and that’s perfectly fine.
  • Be Aware of Your Influence
    • Teens will do anything to insist otherwise, but their parents are their biggest influencers. 
    • What you do will have a strong effect on your daughter in ways you can’t even imagine. 
    • Therefore, you should also apply all of the tips on this list to your own life. 
      • Are you displaying jealousy when you come home and rant about the new secretary you don’t like at the office? 
      • Are you teaching your daughter that it’s okay to talk badly about others?

[TRANSITION]

[OUTRO AND CREDITS]

Transcription

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[Music]

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insightful podcasts

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by informative hosts

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[Music]

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insights into things a podcast network

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[Music]

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welcome to insights into teens a podcast

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series exploring the issues and

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challenges of today’s youth

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your hosts are joseph and madison whalen

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a father and daughter team

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making their way through the challenges

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of the teenage years

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[Applause]

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welcome to insights into teens this is

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episode 113

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jealousy with teens i’m your host joseph

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whalen

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and my mature and intelligent co-host

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madison whalen

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hi everyone how you doing today maddie

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i’m doing all right how about you

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i am doing better now that i’m out of

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work that’s good at least it was a

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rough day today so how was your week so

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far

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it’s been going kind of chill it’s the

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last full week of school

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so things are starting to wind down well

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that’s exciting and i have a lot of free

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time coming up on your hands then

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yep yeah

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don’t know what i’m gonna do with that

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all but you know i’ll try to at least

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have some type of schedule

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so today’s topic is jealousy with teens

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now this was one that you had put

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out there with your suggestions for

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topics any particular reason you threw

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this one out there

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um i don’t know it was just probably one

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of those things where

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um you know teens experience

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jealousy i know that i’ve

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i know that a lot of stereotypes of

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mean girls okay mean girl teens

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they involve a lot of jealousy and i

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know that teens have a unique way

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of dealing with jealousy as opposed to

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adults so i kind of figured

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hey why not try this out okay that’s a

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fair point

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so this week we are talking about

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jealousy and teens we’ll talk a little

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about the nature of jealousy

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we’ll explore how we can turn jealousy

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into a constructive inspiration and grow

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from it as an individual

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then we’ll explore the common types of

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jealousy most teens might face

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and finally we’ll talk about tips on how

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to deal with jealousy

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before we do that though i would invite

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folks to subscribe to the podcast

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you can get audio versions of this

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write in give us your feedback we’re

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website

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at http://www.insightsintothings.com

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are you ready sure all right let’s get

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into it

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so you did the bulk of the research

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for today’s episode and this first

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segment uh

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came from modernmom.com not your mom i

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know you

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i knew you were going to mention that so

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they say that jealousy isn’t

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is all too common among teens while it

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would be ideal if all teen relationships

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were simple and harmonious that is not

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always the case

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as a parent you can help your team cope

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with their jealousy

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as well as the jealousy of your teen’s

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peers by better

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understanding how jealousy works in teen

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relationships

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and what can be done to overcome this

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potentially relationship

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ruining problem while no gender holds

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the patent

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on jealous behavior studies show that

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girls tend to be more likely to become

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jealous than boys no one has

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the uh no one has been able to pinpoint

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the specific reason why female teens are

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more likely

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to experience jealousy than male teens

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it could be because girls have higher

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expectations for relationships and care

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more about what others are doing

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saying and wearing jealousy isn’t gender

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specific

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but it is worthwhile to understand there

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is an increased likelihood in girls for

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it than in boys

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understanding this can help a parent be

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more proactive

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in combating what can otherwise turn

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into a painful

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situation so with that in mind and

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before i turn it over to you

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let me ask you have you experienced

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situations where you’ve had

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jealous feelings um

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maybe sometimes i’m definitely not

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like i don’t get jealous easily

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um i definitely think that um

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there were some instances where i was

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jealous

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um i guess to be more specific there was

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like whenever i would see some of my

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friends hanging out with other people

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i’d be a little jealous

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um that’s really the only major time i

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would ever get jealous i haven’t really

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experienced it all that much and that

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kind of makes sense you know

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as a teen it’s despite the fact that

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they say that it happens more in girls

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and boys there were plenty of times that

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i had

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jealous feelings um most of the time

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that i had jealous feelings though it

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usually stem

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from some of one of my own

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insecurities one of my own hang-ups you

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know oh

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you know brad doesn’t want to play with

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me he’s playing with his other friend

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there and i’m not going to be his friend

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anymore

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what did i do wrong what’s wrong with me

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you know that type of thing

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or um jealousy and envy can

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kind of get confused with each other you

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know you may be jealous of your friends

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because they have

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uh toys or devices or

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clothes that you might like and you

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might want to have yourself

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so you’re kind of blurring the line betw

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between jealousy and envy there but

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it’s still kind of the same principle so

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we can grow from jealousy why don’t you

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tell us uh

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some of the ways that we can grow from

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jealousy um

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well first the first type of growth we

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can have from jealousy is that jealousy

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is a natural emotion

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and with work can be improved if your

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teen

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says or does things that indicate that

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they are likely

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jealous of another individual you can

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help them get over this feeling

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encourage them to communicate both to

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you and to this pers

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and to the person of whom they are

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jealous of in all likelihood they admire

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the source of their jealousy

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and if they communicated with the

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individual could have a healthy

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relationship with that person

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and i think that’s fairly sound advice

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there

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communication definitely does help

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because sometimes you may be jealous for

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a reason that’s not even a valid reason

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you may

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you may think that you’re jealous of the

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kid down the street because you know he

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just got a pool

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and you know you may find out that well

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he got a pool

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because his parents can’t send in the

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summer camping you’re going to summer

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camp and that’s the

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next best thing you know something like

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that

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they also say that point out their own

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self-wealth

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remind them that they are all uh they

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are a valuable person who can make a

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difference

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remind them that they don’t need anyone

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else to make them complete

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and that they are a wonderful person all

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on their own

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by doing these things you can enable

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your team to put an

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end to their jealousy i know i’m doing

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these out of order highlighting yours

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and i’m

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reading yours it’s okay yeah nobody else

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can see that

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but i pointed it out to everyone you’ll

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fix that post i guess

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i believe it gives us a real

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uh you know grassroots feel to the

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podcast i guess so

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what’s next uh next up we have grow

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from your experience instead of allowing

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jealousy to be a bad thing

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individuals who are jealous can actually

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grow from the experience

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if your teen is jealous of someone they

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likely think

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that that something about that person is

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enviable enviable as ask your teen to

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list the things

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that are the cause of their jealousy

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then understand what traits

0:09:19.839,0:09:24.399
characteristics or qualities of the

0:09:21.920,0:09:26.560
person your team can strive for

0:09:24.399,0:09:28.399
to improve themselves yeah a great

0:09:26.560,0:09:30.240
example of this is you may be jealous of

0:09:28.399,0:09:32.160
somebody in your class who got an a on a

0:09:30.240,0:09:33.680
test that you didn’t get

0:09:32.160,0:09:35.600
so why are you jealous of them because

0:09:33.680,0:09:37.600
they got an a okay well

0:09:35.600,0:09:39.279
you’re perfectly capable of getting a’s

0:09:37.600,0:09:42.320
too you need to

0:09:39.279,0:09:42.880
study harder stay after school ask the

0:09:42.320,0:09:46.480
teacher

0:09:42.880,0:09:47.600
raise your hand more so by being jealous

0:09:46.480,0:09:49.279
of someone else for

0:09:47.600,0:09:51.279
something that they’ve achieved it may

0:09:49.279,0:09:53.200
inspire you to improve

0:09:51.279,0:09:54.320
your own abilities so you don’t have to

0:09:53.200,0:09:56.800
be jealous anymore

0:09:54.320,0:09:58.560
yeah and the last thing that they talk

0:09:56.800,0:10:02.160
about is overcoming

0:09:58.560,0:10:03.200
materialistic jealousy inspect this list

0:10:02.160,0:10:05.519
with your team

0:10:03.200,0:10:08.079
and help them consider how they could

0:10:05.519,0:10:10.160
get some of these things for themselves

0:10:08.079,0:10:11.200
for example if your team is jealous of a

0:10:10.160,0:10:13.839
new game or

0:10:11.200,0:10:15.519
clothes that someone in their class has

0:10:13.839,0:10:18.079
they could do some chores

0:10:15.519,0:10:19.040
earn some cash and buy the item for

0:10:18.079,0:10:21.519
themselves

0:10:19.040,0:10:22.480
so they no longer envy the original

0:10:21.519,0:10:25.600
owner

0:10:22.480,0:10:28.079
so it’s a means of giving your team the

0:10:25.600,0:10:30.079
ability to overcome the things when it’s

0:10:28.079,0:10:31.600
a materialistic thing that’s

0:10:30.079,0:10:33.519
a lot of times that was sort of the boat

0:10:31.600,0:10:35.519
that i was in because

0:10:33.519,0:10:37.200
as i’ve said on the show many times in

0:10:35.519,0:10:39.680
the past when i grew up my

0:10:37.200,0:10:40.720
parents we were pretty poor you know we

0:10:39.680,0:10:43.680
didn’t really have

0:10:40.720,0:10:45.040
much money to go around so all my

0:10:43.680,0:10:46.320
friends were the ones that would get all

0:10:45.040,0:10:48.640
the neat new toys

0:10:46.320,0:10:50.240
and the new bikes and the video games

0:10:48.640,0:10:53.680
and all that stuff

0:10:50.240,0:10:55.920
and i was the poor unfortunate soul who

0:10:53.680,0:10:58.880
didn’t have those things and it kind of

0:10:55.920,0:11:00.959
made me jealous of those who did

0:10:58.880,0:11:02.240
there wasn’t much that i could do most

0:11:00.959,0:11:03.760
of the time but

0:11:02.240,0:11:05.839
when i was able to finally get a paper

0:11:03.760,0:11:07.519
route and start making my own money

0:11:05.839,0:11:09.440
i was able to overcome a lot of those

0:11:07.519,0:11:11.200
things so

0:11:09.440,0:11:13.279
having the means to overcome them

0:11:11.200,0:11:14.000
whether it’s an emotional means to drive

0:11:13.279,0:11:17.680
yourself to

0:11:14.000,0:11:19.760
improve or to you know earn the money to

0:11:17.680,0:11:21.920
go out and buy the things that you want

0:11:19.760,0:11:23.040
yeah and i do want to probably make an

0:11:21.920,0:11:25.040
important note

0:11:23.040,0:11:26.800
i definitely don’t think you um you

0:11:25.040,0:11:28.720
should just buy your teen

0:11:26.800,0:11:30.640
what they’re jealous of it would be

0:11:28.720,0:11:32.399
better if they worked for it because

0:11:30.640,0:11:34.240
they actually learn a lesson

0:11:32.399,0:11:35.680
otherwise they’re more than likely just

0:11:34.240,0:11:38.800
going to expect to get

0:11:35.680,0:11:41.600
everything um that they want absolutely

0:11:38.800,0:11:42.320
you know just handing things over to

0:11:41.600,0:11:46.240
make them

0:11:42.320,0:11:46.800
feel better might solve the immediate

0:11:46.240,0:11:49.200
problem

0:11:46.800,0:11:50.720
but it will eventually cause more

0:11:49.200,0:11:51.519
problems that you have to deal with

0:11:50.720,0:11:55.120
later on

0:11:51.519,0:11:58.800
yeah that’s the one thing you know we’ve

0:11:55.120,0:12:01.360
tried to instill in you is earning

0:11:58.800,0:12:02.639
the things that you want make you value

0:12:01.360,0:12:04.880
them more

0:12:02.639,0:12:06.160
so it’s not just about overcoming the

0:12:04.880,0:12:10.160
jealousy it’s about

0:12:06.160,0:12:11.200
doing it in the right way so uh let’s

0:12:10.160,0:12:13.120
take a little break

0:12:11.200,0:12:24.480
and then we’ll come back and talk about

0:12:13.120,0:12:27.519
the common types of jealousy

0:12:24.480,0:12:30.160
for over seven years the second sith

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0:12:50.959,0:12:55.360
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0:12:59.920,0:13:06.720
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0:13:03.519,0:13:10.079
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0:13:18.839,0:13:26.240
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0:13:21.430,0:13:28.399
[Music]

0:13:26.240,0:13:29.600
welcome back to insights into teens this

0:13:28.399,0:13:32.880
week we’re talking about

0:13:29.600,0:13:34.480
jealousy with teens so there are some

0:13:32.880,0:13:38.079
common types of jealousy

0:13:34.480,0:13:39.360
that most teens face and jealousy comes

0:13:38.079,0:13:41.199
in many forms and

0:13:39.360,0:13:43.519
from many different sources but in most

0:13:41.199,0:13:45.040
cases it basically boils down to four

0:13:43.519,0:13:46.639
types of jealousy why don’t you tell us

0:13:45.040,0:13:49.680
about the first one

0:13:46.639,0:13:53.360
um okay so the first

0:13:49.680,0:13:54.480
type of jealousy um is the jealousy from

0:13:53.360,0:13:56.560
romance

0:13:54.480,0:13:58.000
this is the most common and frequent

0:13:56.560,0:13:59.920
type of jealousy

0:13:58.000,0:14:01.040
there is a sense of security in the

0:13:59.920,0:14:04.000
relationship

0:14:01.040,0:14:05.920
lo if love is given from the partner

0:14:04.000,0:14:09.040
however if the relationship creates

0:14:05.920,0:14:12.000
insecurity and vulnerability in the mind

0:14:09.040,0:14:13.760
then a feeling of fear and jealousy get

0:14:12.000,0:14:16.000
gets generated

0:14:13.760,0:14:18.720
then there’s a constant fear of losing

0:14:16.000,0:14:21.040
one’s importance in the relationship

0:14:18.720,0:14:23.120
some people experience severe jealousy

0:14:21.040,0:14:25.279
when a new and attractive person comes

0:14:23.120,0:14:27.279
in contact with their partner

0:14:25.279,0:14:28.399
and one of the real downfalls to this

0:14:27.279,0:14:31.920
type of jealousy

0:14:28.399,0:14:35.279
is it can cause the jealous person

0:14:31.920,0:14:36.959
to try too hard

0:14:35.279,0:14:38.720
you know you try to hold on to that

0:14:36.959,0:14:41.519
person too hard

0:14:38.720,0:14:42.959
and it can very quickly become almost

0:14:41.519,0:14:45.279
obsessive

0:14:42.959,0:14:46.480
and it results in pushing that person

0:14:45.279,0:14:48.240
away

0:14:46.480,0:14:50.240
i’d be lying if i said i didn’t

0:14:48.240,0:14:51.440
experience this type of jealousy in the

0:14:50.240,0:14:54.480
past

0:14:51.440,0:14:57.519
um and you know part of it

0:14:54.480,0:14:58.720
is again it’s it’s about that self-doubt

0:14:57.519,0:15:01.279
that

0:14:58.720,0:15:02.720
lack of self-confidence a lot of times

0:15:01.279,0:15:06.240
um

0:15:02.720,0:15:08.160
fortunately with mommy you know

0:15:06.240,0:15:10.160
there’s another there’s that

0:15:08.160,0:15:13.440
give-and-take at this point

0:15:10.160,0:15:14.079
in our relationship now where i don’t

0:15:13.440,0:15:17.519
ever

0:15:14.079,0:15:19.760
feel like i’m

0:15:17.519,0:15:21.120
going to lose her attention or something

0:15:19.760,0:15:23.920
like that

0:15:21.120,0:15:25.519
um yeah i’m a very sensitive individual

0:15:23.920,0:15:27.040
when it comes to that what can i say

0:15:25.519,0:15:28.560
did you ever feel jealous when you were

0:15:27.040,0:15:31.920
first dating her

0:15:28.560,0:15:34.880
um i i don’t

0:15:31.920,0:15:35.600
think i felt jealous when i was dating

0:15:34.880,0:15:39.199
her

0:15:35.600,0:15:42.560
uh there was probably a time period

0:15:39.199,0:15:46.160
you know maybe a few years back when

0:15:42.560,0:15:50.079
uh mommy wanted to you know she started

0:15:46.160,0:15:52.639
going to things outside of

0:15:50.079,0:15:53.600
of the family you know she would go to

0:15:52.639,0:15:57.040
uh

0:15:53.600,0:16:00.320
her book club and stuff like that

0:15:57.040,0:16:02.160
and it you know it kind of

0:16:00.320,0:16:04.560
made me feel as though i was playing

0:16:02.160,0:16:06.480
second fiddle for a little while there

0:16:04.560,0:16:08.480
until i realized that you know mommy

0:16:06.480,0:16:09.519
needs her space too she deserves her

0:16:08.480,0:16:12.880
space

0:16:09.519,0:16:16.000
um i’m not a very

0:16:12.880,0:16:17.440
social individual so i never really had

0:16:16.000,0:16:20.959
those needs so

0:16:17.440,0:16:24.000
i kind of struggled with why

0:16:20.959,0:16:26.240
mommy needed to do those things it it

0:16:24.000,0:16:28.959
almost felt like it was

0:16:26.240,0:16:31.680
it was of reflection on me that i was

0:16:28.959,0:16:34.959
inadequate i wasn’t able to

0:16:31.680,0:16:36.959
you know keep her attention or or her

0:16:34.959,0:16:38.639
affection and she was looking outside

0:16:36.959,0:16:40.639
for that type of thing

0:16:38.639,0:16:42.000
and then you know we talked through it

0:16:40.639,0:16:43.680
and and realized that

0:16:42.000,0:16:45.040
you know it wasn’t anything like that

0:16:43.680,0:16:47.360
and

0:16:45.040,0:16:49.440
we’re perfectly fine with it now you

0:16:47.360,0:16:52.880
know i’ve come to terms with it

0:16:49.440,0:16:54.240
so it’s it’s important to to talk again

0:16:52.880,0:16:55.839
like we talked about in the last segment

0:16:54.240,0:16:58.560
it’s very important to communicate about

0:16:55.839,0:17:01.920
things like this because

0:16:58.560,0:17:05.600
you start to form certain

0:17:01.920,0:17:06.319
ideas on your own and you impose those

0:17:05.600,0:17:09.120
ideas

0:17:06.319,0:17:10.160
on top of the person that you’re jealous

0:17:09.120,0:17:11.520
of

0:17:10.160,0:17:13.919
and if you don’t give that person a

0:17:11.520,0:17:17.679
chance to address those and

0:17:13.919,0:17:18.959
explain you know their motivation

0:17:17.679,0:17:21.039
then you’re not being fair to that

0:17:18.959,0:17:24.640
person

0:17:21.039,0:17:27.039
so anyway

0:17:24.640,0:17:28.160
the next thing that we have is platonic

0:17:27.039,0:17:30.880
jealousy

0:17:28.160,0:17:32.080
this type is often mistaken for romantic

0:17:30.880,0:17:33.840
jealousy

0:17:32.080,0:17:35.360
but there’s a thin line of difference

0:17:33.840,0:17:37.760
between the two

0:17:35.360,0:17:38.960
this jealousy can commonly be seen in

0:17:37.760,0:17:40.960
friendships

0:17:38.960,0:17:42.160
when one fears losing a friend to

0:17:40.960,0:17:44.400
someone else

0:17:42.160,0:17:47.039
who may be perceived to be a more

0:17:44.400,0:17:48.880
interesting or friendly person

0:17:47.039,0:17:52.000
the emotional attachment with your own

0:17:48.880,0:17:53.039
friend is so much that you can’t imagine

0:17:52.000,0:17:55.440
them with someone

0:17:53.039,0:17:58.080
else have you ever had the situation

0:17:55.440,0:18:00.480
where maybe

0:17:58.080,0:18:02.080
you and a few other friends might be

0:18:00.480,0:18:04.480
hanging out and doing something

0:18:02.080,0:18:05.679
and you know at some point you become

0:18:04.480,0:18:07.200
excluded from that and

0:18:05.679,0:18:09.120
two of them go off and do something on

0:18:07.200,0:18:12.559
their own um

0:18:09.120,0:18:15.919
i have sometimes felt like that um

0:18:12.559,0:18:19.679
particularly when um my

0:18:15.919,0:18:23.120
two friends would interact a lot more

0:18:19.679,0:18:24.080
like with and with other kids who i

0:18:23.120,0:18:27.120
really didn’t know

0:18:24.080,0:18:28.160
too well um i would sometimes feel left

0:18:27.120,0:18:31.200
out um

0:18:28.160,0:18:32.160
and somewhat jealous but um i definitely

0:18:31.200,0:18:35.200
don’t think it was

0:18:32.160,0:18:35.840
extreme feelings it was just you know a

0:18:35.200,0:18:38.799
slide

0:18:35.840,0:18:39.919
thing like i want to hang out with you

0:18:38.799,0:18:42.640
guys too

0:18:39.919,0:18:45.039
so yeah yeah and i had a similar

0:18:42.640,0:18:46.880
situation i had a friend of mine that

0:18:45.039,0:18:49.919
you know he and i used to hang out and

0:18:46.880,0:18:53.600
you know watch tv go to the movies and

0:18:49.919,0:18:55.760
and i knew him from work and for years

0:18:53.600,0:18:57.760
you know he didn’t really socialize much

0:18:55.760,0:19:00.320
i didn’t socialize much so we were

0:18:57.760,0:19:01.760
you know we were kind of a a good fit to

0:19:00.320,0:19:05.760
hang out together and

0:19:01.760,0:19:06.160
and do fun things and then uh he decided

0:19:05.760,0:19:08.799
that

0:19:06.160,0:19:10.799
he didn’t want to be single anymore he

0:19:08.799,0:19:12.640
was divorced he didn’t want to be single

0:19:10.799,0:19:13.679
anymore so he started using a dating

0:19:12.640,0:19:15.760
service

0:19:13.679,0:19:16.960
and he found somebody and you know the

0:19:15.760,0:19:19.200
two of them really hit it off they

0:19:16.960,0:19:21.919
eventually got married

0:19:19.200,0:19:23.600
but she wound up taking a lot of more of

0:19:21.919,0:19:26.880
his time

0:19:23.600,0:19:29.919
and at first i was

0:19:26.880,0:19:33.039
kind of very jealous because you know we

0:19:29.919,0:19:33.520
we spent a lot of time together between

0:19:33.039,0:19:35.280
work

0:19:33.520,0:19:37.679
and then hanging out after work you know

0:19:35.280,0:19:39.600
we would work on the cars together and

0:19:37.679,0:19:41.360
all kinds of stuff

0:19:39.600,0:19:43.039
and i kind of felt a little left out

0:19:41.360,0:19:44.480
like i mean like i got along with his

0:19:43.039,0:19:47.360
wife

0:19:44.480,0:19:47.919
but you know when his wife came into the

0:19:47.360,0:19:49.600
picture

0:19:47.919,0:19:51.280
he stopped doing a lot of the things

0:19:49.600,0:19:52.799
that he and i would do

0:19:51.280,0:19:54.720
you know we would go out on his boat a

0:19:52.799,0:19:56.960
lot you know we’d go up to

0:19:54.720,0:19:58.480
the river and we’d watch the fireworks

0:19:56.960,0:20:01.679
or listen to the concerts out

0:19:58.480,0:20:03.280
up in camden and stuff like that and he

0:20:01.679,0:20:06.640
just sort of stopped doing that

0:20:03.280,0:20:08.960
that sort of stuff and his wife kind of

0:20:06.640,0:20:10.559
he started doing the things she liked

0:20:08.960,0:20:14.240
and it got to the point where

0:20:10.559,0:20:16.960
we kind of drifted apart but

0:20:14.240,0:20:18.159
when i was in that situation a few years

0:20:16.960,0:20:21.360
later when

0:20:18.159,0:20:22.400
i didn’t want to be single anymore i i

0:20:21.360,0:20:26.240
understood

0:20:22.400,0:20:28.000
his point you know of how life has to

0:20:26.240,0:20:29.440
change sometimes so

0:20:28.000,0:20:31.280
it took a little while for me to get the

0:20:29.440,0:20:32.000
perspective that i needed to really

0:20:31.280,0:20:35.200
understand

0:20:32.000,0:20:36.080
his position there okay what’s our next

0:20:35.200,0:20:39.360
one

0:20:36.080,0:20:42.080
next one is jealousy amongst siblings

0:20:39.360,0:20:43.760
sibling rivalry is a is commonly seen in

0:20:42.080,0:20:46.080
families across the world

0:20:43.760,0:20:48.080
there’s a general sense of competition

0:20:46.080,0:20:49.440
among siblings to be their parents

0:20:48.080,0:20:51.679
favorite child

0:20:49.440,0:20:53.600
there is often a display of jealousy in

0:20:51.679,0:20:56.080
the following situations

0:20:53.600,0:20:58.000
on the arrival of a new sibling on being

0:20:56.080,0:20:59.280
made to share favorite toys clothes or

0:20:58.000,0:21:01.039
other items

0:20:59.280,0:21:02.720
on being shown less affection

0:21:01.039,0:21:03.520
experiencing less love than other

0:21:02.720,0:21:06.000
siblings

0:21:03.520,0:21:08.000
experiencing a negative comparison made

0:21:06.000,0:21:10.559
between siblings by parents

0:21:08.000,0:21:12.480
or when a sibling is smarter or more

0:21:10.559,0:21:14.880
talented than another

0:21:12.480,0:21:16.080
have you ever had a situation where you

0:21:14.880,0:21:19.520
felt jealousy

0:21:16.080,0:21:22.799
of sam or that sam was jealous of you

0:21:19.520,0:21:26.000
um i don’t personally

0:21:22.799,0:21:28.320
like i think sam

0:21:26.000,0:21:30.000
probably experienced more jealousy than

0:21:28.320,0:21:33.679
i really experienced with

0:21:30.000,0:21:36.720
him um i think that

0:21:33.679,0:21:40.480
part of jealousy was more or less

0:21:36.720,0:21:40.960
the factor that kind of split him off

0:21:40.480,0:21:44.480
for a

0:21:40.960,0:21:48.000
few years um

0:21:44.480,0:21:50.000
because it’s i guess he felt that

0:21:48.000,0:21:51.360
he had pretty much had a new family and

0:21:50.000,0:21:54.640
had forgotten about him

0:21:51.360,0:21:56.559
i see and that kind of makes sense yeah

0:21:54.640,0:22:00.000
but personally i’ve never really been

0:21:56.559,0:22:02.880
too jealous of sam um

0:22:00.000,0:22:04.400
the only instance i can really think of

0:22:02.880,0:22:05.120
which really isn’t that big of an

0:22:04.400,0:22:07.520
instance

0:22:05.120,0:22:08.720
is when you two would hang out more on

0:22:07.520,0:22:10.720
the weekends but

0:22:08.720,0:22:12.640
i can more or less understand it because

0:22:10.720,0:22:14.159
you really didn’t see him all that much

0:22:12.640,0:22:15.440
and you still wanted to hang out with

0:22:14.159,0:22:17.039
him so

0:22:15.440,0:22:19.440
yeah we spent a lot of time we used to

0:22:17.039,0:22:21.039
go out and do our gaming on sundays and

0:22:19.440,0:22:22.559
stuff like that we would pretty much be

0:22:21.039,0:22:24.400
out all day long

0:22:22.559,0:22:26.640
so i could certainly see how that could

0:22:24.400,0:22:30.159
that could spawn some jealous feelings

0:22:26.640,0:22:32.720
yeah but it wasn’t anything serious um

0:22:30.159,0:22:33.360
it didn’t really make me dislike him in

0:22:32.720,0:22:37.679
any way

0:22:33.360,0:22:39.360
it was just um you know

0:22:37.679,0:22:40.720
i didn’t really see you that much i

0:22:39.360,0:22:41.440
didn’t really do much with you on the

0:22:40.720,0:22:44.640
weekends

0:22:41.440,0:22:46.000
right i understand so the last one that

0:22:44.640,0:22:49.440
we have here is kind of a

0:22:46.000,0:22:51.280
kind of a catch-all and that’s abnormal

0:22:49.440,0:22:53.440
jealousy

0:22:51.280,0:22:54.480
this is a baseless type of jealousy

0:22:53.440,0:22:56.559
triggered

0:22:54.480,0:22:57.679
by no possible reasons except

0:22:56.559,0:23:00.880
psychologist

0:22:57.679,0:23:02.880
uh problem psycho psychological sorry

0:23:00.880,0:23:04.960
psychological problems

0:23:02.880,0:23:06.720
such as delusions paranoia or

0:23:04.960,0:23:09.840
schizophrenia or things of

0:23:06.720,0:23:12.240
that nature under some extreme cases of

0:23:09.840,0:23:14.240
abnormal jealousy a person is known to

0:23:12.240,0:23:16.880
display immaturity

0:23:14.240,0:23:18.080
and insecurity along with a controlling

0:23:16.880,0:23:20.080
nature

0:23:18.080,0:23:22.000
such people tend to assume that their

0:23:20.080,0:23:25.280
family members friends and partners

0:23:22.000,0:23:28.080
are unfaithful to them so that that gets

0:23:25.280,0:23:28.559
into you know much more complicated type

0:23:28.080,0:23:31.679
of

0:23:28.559,0:23:34.000
relationship issues there um

0:23:31.679,0:23:35.600
but what they’re saying here is some

0:23:34.000,0:23:38.000
that jealousy

0:23:35.600,0:23:39.760
is is usually unfounded there isn’t

0:23:38.000,0:23:41.919
evidence to suggest that there’s any

0:23:39.760,0:23:45.120
unfaithfulness

0:23:41.919,0:23:47.440
that happens to just be a delusion or a

0:23:45.120,0:23:50.799
paranoia that you might have

0:23:47.440,0:23:51.760
so those are really the four main types

0:23:50.799,0:23:54.240
of

0:23:51.760,0:23:57.200
jealousy that we’re dealing with here

0:23:54.240,0:23:59.760
we’re going to take a quick break

0:23:57.200,0:24:00.960
and we’ll come back and i’ll get

0:23:59.760,0:24:04.400
something to drink so i stop

0:24:00.960,0:24:06.840
choking and then we’ll talk about tips

0:24:04.400,0:24:15.039
for dealing with jealousy

0:24:06.840,0:24:17.520
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0:24:34.559,0:24:38.880
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0:24:57.039,0:25:03.440
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0:25:00.080,0:25:03.440
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0:25:03.559,0:25:07.919
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0:25:05.200,0:25:15.840
or check us out on the web at insights

0:25:07.919,0:25:15.840
into things.com

0:25:16.799,0:25:21.120
welcome back to insights in the teens

0:25:18.720,0:25:23.200
today we’re talking jealousy

0:25:21.120,0:25:25.200
and now we’re going to talk about tips

0:25:23.200,0:25:27.679
for dealing with jealousy

0:25:25.200,0:25:29.440
and the research for this segment comes

0:25:27.679,0:25:32.480
from

0:25:29.440,0:25:36.360
in empowered

0:25:32.480,0:25:38.960
teens and parents.com

0:25:36.360,0:25:42.080
reallylongdomainname.com

0:25:38.960,0:25:45.679
okay um so

0:25:42.080,0:25:48.240
the first tip we have is fuel passion

0:25:45.679,0:25:50.240
and help develop interest there are

0:25:48.240,0:25:52.000
people in this world who rarely feel

0:25:50.240,0:25:54.480
jealous of others

0:25:52.000,0:25:55.039
they are simply too busy working on up

0:25:54.480,0:25:57.919
on their

0:25:55.039,0:25:59.760
passions when people take the time to

0:25:57.919,0:26:00.559
follow their passions and develop their

0:25:59.760,0:26:02.640
talents

0:26:00.559,0:26:03.919
they also develop a strong foundation of

0:26:02.640,0:26:06.080
self-esteem

0:26:03.919,0:26:07.520
as a parent it’s your job to help fuel

0:26:06.080,0:26:08.960
your teen’s self-esteem

0:26:07.520,0:26:11.520
by supporting their passions and

0:26:08.960,0:26:14.000
interests so that’s a very good point

0:26:11.520,0:26:15.039
you know you have mentioned several

0:26:14.000,0:26:15.440
times throughout the show that you

0:26:15.039,0:26:18.480
really

0:26:15.440,0:26:22.480
don’t experience a lot of

0:26:18.480,0:26:25.120
uh jealousy but you’re also a very

0:26:22.480,0:26:26.880
passionate individual with your uh

0:26:25.120,0:26:28.880
hobbies and your

0:26:26.880,0:26:30.400
side projects and stuff like that so you

0:26:28.880,0:26:34.000
tend to

0:26:30.400,0:26:36.400
pour yourself into those things and

0:26:34.000,0:26:38.400
put less stock in the things that would

0:26:36.400,0:26:41.440
normally cause jealousy don’t you think

0:26:38.400,0:26:45.039
yeah i’d probably think so um

0:26:41.440,0:26:46.080
kind of the same reason for um romance i

0:26:45.039,0:26:49.279
suppose

0:26:46.080,0:26:50.000
i really don’t have much time for it

0:26:49.279,0:26:53.279
because

0:26:50.000,0:26:54.880
i’m pursuing other things so

0:26:53.279,0:26:56.720
i would definitely say it’s probably the

0:26:54.880,0:26:58.640
same thing with jealousy

0:26:56.720,0:27:00.080
yeah and you know the same thing with me

0:26:58.640,0:27:03.760
when i was in high school with

0:27:00.080,0:27:07.279
with romance between my schoolwork

0:27:03.760,0:27:08.400
and my uh hanging out with my friends

0:27:07.279,0:27:11.679
and working

0:27:08.400,0:27:14.799
i never had the time for it either

0:27:11.679,0:27:16.559
but i think that probably fed into any

0:27:14.799,0:27:19.600
jealousy that i did have because what

0:27:16.559,0:27:21.520
little time i did have with my friends

0:27:19.600,0:27:23.919
if that was taken away from me because

0:27:21.520,0:27:25.600
they were hanging out with someone else

0:27:23.919,0:27:27.200
i would take that personally because i

0:27:25.600,0:27:28.720
had a limited amount of time that i

0:27:27.200,0:27:30.480
could spend with them and they

0:27:28.720,0:27:32.399
chose at that point to do it with

0:27:30.480,0:27:36.000
someone else

0:27:32.399,0:27:38.159
so it has the exact opposite effect

0:27:36.000,0:27:39.440
for you which i think is good that’s a

0:27:38.159,0:27:42.000
that’s a healthy thing

0:27:39.440,0:27:44.880
yeah the next thing they talk about is

0:27:42.000,0:27:47.440
encourage platonic relationships

0:27:44.880,0:27:48.240
it’s important to support and encourage

0:27:47.440,0:27:50.320
your daughter

0:27:48.240,0:27:51.600
to have platonic relationships with

0:27:50.320,0:27:53.279
friends

0:27:51.600,0:27:56.640
romantic interests come and go but

0:27:53.279,0:27:58.240
platonic friendships can last a lifetime

0:27:56.640,0:28:00.320
cultivating strong friendships

0:27:58.240,0:28:03.200
throughout the high school years

0:28:00.320,0:28:05.679
can have a profound effect helping teens

0:28:03.200,0:28:07.919
develop good communication skills

0:28:05.679,0:28:09.200
and promoting self-esteem that could

0:28:07.919,0:28:11.760
continue to grow

0:28:09.200,0:28:13.039
after they reach adulthood and that’s

0:28:11.760,0:28:15.360
one of the things that i think

0:28:13.039,0:28:16.159
mommy and i are hoping we see with with

0:28:15.360,0:28:19.520
your your

0:28:16.159,0:28:20.399
high school years is making friends with

0:28:19.520,0:28:22.799
more kids

0:28:20.399,0:28:23.840
in your grade level your age level or

0:28:22.799,0:28:27.279
higher

0:28:23.840,0:28:29.360
and cultivating those friendships as you

0:28:27.279,0:28:32.399
go through high school because

0:28:29.360,0:28:34.559
to me they were probably more important

0:28:32.399,0:28:36.960
than the friendships that i had

0:28:34.559,0:28:39.039
in grade school earlier on they’re the

0:28:36.960,0:28:40.960
ones that lasted the longest

0:28:39.039,0:28:42.480
have you given any thought to that type

0:28:40.960,0:28:44.960
of of

0:28:42.480,0:28:46.159
friendship development i mean yeah i

0:28:44.960,0:28:49.200
definitely thought about it

0:28:46.159,0:28:52.320
um going into marching band and concert

0:28:49.200,0:28:54.880
band i’m more than likely going to

0:28:52.320,0:28:55.520
see a lot of the kit a lot of the kids

0:28:54.880,0:28:57.440
in school

0:28:55.520,0:28:58.880
and i have actually been communicating

0:28:57.440,0:29:00.640
with some of the kids

0:28:58.880,0:29:02.559
in marching band some of which i

0:29:00.640,0:29:05.679
wouldn’t really communicate much with

0:29:02.559,0:29:09.360
like i saw the one

0:29:05.679,0:29:11.679
i the one um girl i used to sit next to

0:29:09.360,0:29:13.039
um when i was in history in seventh

0:29:11.679,0:29:14.720
grade um

0:29:13.039,0:29:16.640
was actually doing marching band and we

0:29:14.720,0:29:20.000
communicate a bit more when we do

0:29:16.640,0:29:22.640
practices um so

0:29:20.000,0:29:24.159
i definitely think that um i’ll more

0:29:22.640,0:29:27.120
than likely meet

0:29:24.159,0:29:28.559
other kids and i’ll more than likely

0:29:27.120,0:29:30.640
make friends with them

0:29:28.559,0:29:31.600
and depending on what clubs i join i’ll

0:29:30.640,0:29:33.760
probably make

0:29:31.600,0:29:35.600
friends there yeah that’s good and and

0:29:33.760,0:29:36.080
that’s there’s a lot of opportunities

0:29:35.600,0:29:39.360
like the

0:29:36.080,0:29:40.880
one of the advantages that i had was my

0:29:39.360,0:29:43.360
best friend growing up who i

0:29:40.880,0:29:44.960
knew before i was even in kindergarten

0:29:43.360,0:29:46.000
he happened to be two years older than

0:29:44.960,0:29:49.440
me

0:29:46.000,0:29:52.399
so i only had a limited run with him

0:29:49.440,0:29:54.240
in my grade school but when i got into

0:29:52.399,0:29:56.000
high school he had already been

0:29:54.240,0:29:57.520
you know and established a junior at

0:29:56.000,0:29:58.399
that point he was already established

0:29:57.520,0:30:01.520
there

0:29:58.399,0:30:04.640
and as a result it opened up

0:30:01.520,0:30:06.080
other opportunities for me to to

0:30:04.640,0:30:07.679
meet and hang out with some of the

0:30:06.080,0:30:10.799
upperclassmen

0:30:07.679,0:30:13.039
that really helped me to

0:30:10.799,0:30:15.679
kind of broaden my horizons in high

0:30:13.039,0:30:18.000
school when i got to high school

0:30:15.679,0:30:18.720
what’s the next one we have the next one

0:30:18.000,0:30:21.919
we have

0:30:18.720,0:30:23.919
it’s is teach acceptance with rejection

0:30:21.919,0:30:24.399
your teen will get rejected by romantic

0:30:23.919,0:30:26.960
interest

0:30:24.399,0:30:27.919
at some point it’s also very likely that

0:30:26.960,0:30:30.399
they will have

0:30:27.919,0:30:31.600
to watch that romantic interest pursue

0:30:30.399,0:30:33.039
someone else

0:30:31.600,0:30:35.520
teach your kids that it’s okay to get

0:30:33.039,0:30:37.840
rejected not everyone is going to love

0:30:35.520,0:30:40.559
them and that’s perfectly fine

0:30:37.840,0:30:42.720
and that’s a very good point we actually

0:30:40.559,0:30:45.919
have a podcast coming up

0:30:42.720,0:30:49.520
talking about rejection in more detail

0:30:45.919,0:30:52.320
but this is probably where teens

0:30:49.520,0:30:54.799
face jealousy the most is rejection

0:30:52.320,0:30:58.080
whether it’s a friend rejecting you

0:30:54.799,0:31:01.279
or a romantic

0:30:58.080,0:31:03.760
interest rejecting you that rejection

0:31:01.279,0:31:05.919
by its very nature tends to cause

0:31:03.760,0:31:09.200
people’s self-doubt

0:31:05.919,0:31:11.600
and self-doubt fuels jealousy

0:31:09.200,0:31:14.000
so it’s a very natural state to get

0:31:11.600,0:31:15.120
jealous from a rejection or a breakup or

0:31:14.000,0:31:17.279
something like that

0:31:15.120,0:31:18.480
yeah it happened to me you know i

0:31:17.279,0:31:21.039
happened to be

0:31:18.480,0:31:22.799
friends in my junior year i was friends

0:31:21.039,0:31:25.760
with this one girl

0:31:22.799,0:31:27.760
and uh she had a boyfriend but her and i

0:31:25.760,0:31:28.159
hung out i actually had helped her mom

0:31:27.760,0:31:31.760
do

0:31:28.159,0:31:33.279
some work around the house stereo work

0:31:31.760,0:31:34.880
or something like that at the time was

0:31:33.279,0:31:37.200
technical stuff

0:31:34.880,0:31:38.960
and got along great with her her younger

0:31:37.200,0:31:43.120
sister everyone

0:31:38.960,0:31:45.600
and i grew very attached to this girl

0:31:43.120,0:31:46.330
and she had a very rough breakup with

0:31:45.600,0:31:47.600
her boyfriend

0:31:46.330,0:31:50.880
[Music]

0:31:47.600,0:31:52.880
and i kind of was there to give her that

0:31:50.880,0:31:55.360
shoulder to lean on

0:31:52.880,0:31:56.640
and i wound up developing feelings for

0:31:55.360,0:31:59.360
her

0:31:56.640,0:32:00.960
and she had a hard time coming back to

0:31:59.360,0:32:03.760
high school because of the group that

0:32:00.960,0:32:05.679
she was in kind of rejected her

0:32:03.760,0:32:07.679
because her boyfriend that she broke up

0:32:05.679,0:32:09.279
with was i guess the leader of the group

0:32:07.679,0:32:12.159
or something

0:32:09.279,0:32:14.320
and as i developed feelings for her she

0:32:12.159,0:32:17.919
wound up moving away

0:32:14.320,0:32:19.519
her senior year to live with her father

0:32:17.919,0:32:21.600
in a completely different school

0:32:19.519,0:32:24.559
district and

0:32:21.600,0:32:25.200
that just absolutely like broke my heart

0:32:24.559,0:32:27.679
because

0:32:25.200,0:32:29.840
you know i thought i was i was falling

0:32:27.679,0:32:31.919
for her at that point in time

0:32:29.840,0:32:34.480
and as a result those feelings of

0:32:31.919,0:32:36.640
jealousy and insecurity came out and

0:32:34.480,0:32:38.000
everything else so

0:32:36.640,0:32:39.840
you know i’ve discovered over the years

0:32:38.000,0:32:41.279
that i’m an emotional basket case and

0:32:39.840,0:32:44.159
and i’ve come to accept that at this

0:32:41.279,0:32:44.980
point so i think this podcast helps me

0:32:44.159,0:32:48.480
more than it helps

0:32:44.980,0:32:50.399
[Laughter]

0:32:48.480,0:32:51.600
so the last one that we have here that

0:32:50.399,0:32:53.919
they talk about is

0:32:51.600,0:32:55.120
be aware of your influence and this is

0:32:53.919,0:32:58.480
really

0:32:55.120,0:33:01.360
kind of a cautionary tale to parents

0:32:58.480,0:33:02.799
teens will do anything to insist

0:33:01.360,0:33:06.000
otherwise but their parents

0:33:02.799,0:33:07.279
are their biggest influencers what you

0:33:06.000,0:33:09.919
do will have a strong

0:33:07.279,0:33:11.919
effect on your daughter or son in ways

0:33:09.919,0:33:14.480
you can’t even imagine

0:33:11.919,0:33:15.120
therefore you should also apply all the

0:33:14.480,0:33:18.080
tips

0:33:15.120,0:33:20.159
on this list to your own life are you

0:33:18.080,0:33:22.480
displaying jealousy when you come home

0:33:20.159,0:33:24.159
and rant about a new secretary you don’t

0:33:22.480,0:33:25.679
like at the office

0:33:24.159,0:33:28.080
are you teaching your daughter that it’s

0:33:25.679,0:33:30.640
okay to talk badly about others

0:33:28.080,0:33:33.279
it’s that example you know the one thing

0:33:30.640,0:33:33.279
that parents

0:33:33.600,0:33:41.440
always have to do is set a good example

0:33:36.799,0:33:44.559
um our our our kids look to us

0:33:41.440,0:33:47.360
for how to behave in the world

0:33:44.559,0:33:50.240
and as a result i’ll be honest with you

0:33:47.360,0:33:54.000
as a result it’s made me a better person

0:33:50.240,0:33:56.320
knowing that that my children look to me

0:33:54.000,0:34:00.320
for guidance for inspiration

0:33:56.320,0:34:02.799
for the ability to tell the difference

0:34:00.320,0:34:06.559
between right and wrong

0:34:02.799,0:34:07.679
makes me think significantly about the

0:34:06.559,0:34:10.720
things that i say

0:34:07.679,0:34:12.800
and the things that i do because

0:34:10.720,0:34:16.159
everything that i do in front of you

0:34:12.800,0:34:18.399
is setting precedent and if i

0:34:16.159,0:34:20.639
conduct myself in a way that i don’t

0:34:18.399,0:34:24.000
want you to

0:34:20.639,0:34:25.919
conduct yourself then i don’t really

0:34:24.000,0:34:28.639
have much room to complain about

0:34:25.919,0:34:30.480
how you’re acting i have to set a good

0:34:28.639,0:34:33.440
example

0:34:30.480,0:34:35.599
how am i doing so far i might say you’re

0:34:33.440,0:34:38.399
doing fine with the fact that i

0:34:35.599,0:34:41.679
you know do have movie references bit of

0:34:38.399,0:34:45.040
sarcasm and scream at technology

0:34:41.679,0:34:47.280
so i’m doing a terrible job at least

0:34:45.040,0:34:48.639
i’m not screaming at people at least

0:34:47.280,0:34:50.560
that’s something

0:34:48.639,0:34:53.839
i haven’t really screamed at technology

0:34:50.560,0:34:53.839
that much anymore well

0:34:54.000,0:34:57.359
i’m better with technology than i was

0:34:55.919,0:34:58.400
before because i don’t hear you

0:34:57.359,0:35:00.560
screaming as much

0:34:58.400,0:35:02.480
with technology so you’re doing better

0:35:00.560,0:35:04.079
than well and that’s

0:35:02.480,0:35:06.880
i’ll be honest with you when i see the

0:35:04.079,0:35:07.440
way that you react to to my reactions to

0:35:06.880,0:35:10.720
things it

0:35:07.440,0:35:12.480
influences how i react

0:35:10.720,0:35:14.240
you know i try to tamp it down a little

0:35:12.480,0:35:17.359
bit i try not to get as angry because i

0:35:14.240,0:35:20.720
have a temper i’ve always had a temper

0:35:17.359,0:35:21.920
i’ve not been a particularly violent

0:35:20.720,0:35:26.000
temper unless it

0:35:21.920,0:35:28.480
it is a inanimate object

0:35:26.000,0:35:30.160
but i you know i i don’t want you to see

0:35:28.480,0:35:30.880
that and have that temper either because

0:35:30.160,0:35:33.119
i know that

0:35:30.880,0:35:34.560
my temper has gotten me into trouble in

0:35:33.119,0:35:38.240
the past

0:35:34.560,0:35:41.520
um and it kind of runs in my family too

0:35:38.240,0:35:44.800
so i you know you influence me

0:35:41.520,0:35:46.880
probably as much as i influence you

0:35:44.800,0:35:48.480
and i think that’s a good thing yeah

0:35:46.880,0:35:49.760
there’s a lot the parents can learn from

0:35:48.480,0:35:53.839
their kids

0:35:49.760,0:35:57.680
and uh i think it’s a two-way street

0:35:53.839,0:35:59.520
so jealousy let’s take a quick break and

0:35:57.680,0:36:01.040
come back and have you sum up jealousy

0:35:59.520,0:36:02.270
and give us your closing remarks

0:36:01.040,0:36:07.119
all right

0:36:02.270,0:36:10.079
[Music]

0:36:07.119,0:36:10.480
go for your closing remarks all right so

0:36:10.079,0:36:14.400
to

0:36:10.480,0:36:17.119
parents out there and to teens as well

0:36:14.400,0:36:19.119
uh jealousy like we’ve mentioned before

0:36:17.119,0:36:21.359
is a common emotion

0:36:19.119,0:36:23.280
but you can learn from it you can

0:36:21.359,0:36:26.240
definitely grow from jealousy

0:36:23.280,0:36:26.720
and you can even use it as an influencer

0:36:26.240,0:36:30.400
and

0:36:26.720,0:36:33.040
parents you are just as much of an

0:36:30.400,0:36:34.079
of an influence to your kids as they are

0:36:33.040,0:36:36.880
to you

0:36:34.079,0:36:37.680
so basically you can all learn from each

0:36:36.880,0:36:41.040
other

0:36:37.680,0:36:43.119
and try not to spread jealousy is

0:36:41.040,0:36:44.480
not something you want to constantly

0:36:43.119,0:36:48.000
have in your life

0:36:44.480,0:36:51.359
don’t be jealous jealousy is bad

0:36:48.000,0:36:54.240
wise words as always thank you

0:36:51.359,0:36:54.560
uh before we do go i would again suggest

0:36:54.240,0:36:57.599
you

0:36:54.560,0:36:59.200
subscribe to the podcast you can’t buy

0:36:57.599,0:37:00.079
this entertainment anywhere at this

0:36:59.200,0:37:03.520
point because

0:37:00.079,0:37:05.280
we don’t charge for it so you can find

0:37:03.520,0:37:06.000
the audio versions of this podcast

0:37:05.280,0:37:08.560
listed as

0:37:06.000,0:37:09.760
insights into teens and the video

0:37:08.560,0:37:12.560
versions of all of our

0:37:09.760,0:37:13.760
shows podcasts listed as insights into

0:37:12.560,0:37:16.720
things

0:37:13.760,0:37:17.440
on apple podcast spotify google stitcher

0:37:16.720,0:37:20.640
etc

0:37:17.440,0:37:22.000
etc i would also implore folks give us

0:37:20.640,0:37:24.320
your feedback give us some

0:37:22.000,0:37:25.599
suggestions for topics to talk about

0:37:24.320,0:37:29.599
tell us how we’re doing

0:37:25.599,0:37:32.400
help us help us help you

0:37:29.599,0:37:34.720
um yes madison has come up with about a

0:37:32.400,0:37:36.000
half dozen topics so we’re good for the

0:37:34.720,0:37:38.640
next few shows but we’re

0:37:36.000,0:37:39.520
always looking for input you can email

0:37:38.640,0:37:42.320
us at comments

0:37:39.520,0:37:42.800
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0:37:42.320,0:37:45.200
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0:37:42.800,0:37:46.000
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0:38:04.160,0:38:07.520
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0:38:07.520,0:38:11.200
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0:38:09.200,0:38:13.400
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0:38:11.200,0:38:15.280
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0:38:13.400,0:38:16.960
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0:38:15.280,0:38:18.560
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0:38:18.560,0:38:24.240
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0:38:21.760,0:38:26.480
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0:38:24.240,0:38:27.760
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0:38:26.480,0:38:30.280
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0:38:27.760,0:38:31.520
and much more on our website at

0:38:30.280,0:38:35.440
http://www.insights

0:38:31.520,0:38:36.800
things and you and don’t forget to check

0:38:35.440,0:38:39.040
out our other two podcasts

0:38:36.800,0:38:39.920
insights and entertainment hosted by you

0:38:39.040,0:38:41.839
and mommy

0:38:39.920,0:38:44.320
and it’s internet tomorrow our monthly

0:38:41.839,0:38:46.000
podcast hosted by you and my brother sam

0:38:44.320,0:38:48.770
well done that’s it another one in the

0:38:46.000,0:38:53.809
books bye everyone

0:38:48.770,0:38:53.809
[Music]

0:38:58.839,0:39:11.149
bye

0:39:01.280,0:39:11.149
[Music]

0:39:12.839,0:39:15.839
so

0:39:17.359,0:39:19.440
you

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