Insights Into Teens: Episode 108 “Being in a Single Child Home”

Today we’re talking about what it’s like to live in a single child home or what it’s like to be an only child. We’ll talk about the advantages of being an only child as well as the disadvantages. Then we’ll get some insights about being in a single child home from Madison and how it’s affected her life.

Show Notes

INTRO THEME]
[INTRODUCTIONS]
Insights Into Teens: Episode 108 “Being in a Single Child Home”
My encouraging and inspiring co-host Madison Whalen

[Summary]
Today we’re talking about what it’s like to live in a single child home or what it’s like to be an only child. We’ll talk about the advantages of being an only child as well as the disadvantages. Then we’ll get some insights about being in a single child home from Madison and how it’s affected her life.

[Show Plugs]

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Comments@insightsintothings.com
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[TRANSITION]

[SEGMENT 1]

Is it good to be an only child?
https://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/Advantages-and-disadvantages-of-being-an-only-child_
https://bit.ly/2RqttHY
There’s a myth some people believe that states that someone who is an only child is likely to be more selfish than someone with siblings. Kids with no siblings used to be commonly called the “lonely child.” These kids are shown to be more anit-social and don’t work well with others, but there are certain skills that single children have that those with siblings do not.

Advantages of being an Only Child

Only children get all the love and attention from their parents without having to split it between siblings.

Whatever an only child’s parent buys them, they don’t have to share it with any of their siblings.

Only children grow up to be more independent and can fend for themselves better than those with siblings, as long as their parents haven’t spoiled them rotten.

Only kids don’t have to live up to the expectations of their siblings and don’t need to be compared to their successes.

Only children’s parents will be able to set more money and attention aside for their child’s education.

Only children can become more comfortable talking to adults when they aren’t surrounded by kids a few years younger or older than them.

Parents are able to teach only children how to be independent to build their confidence and feel less pressure.

[AD1: SSE]

[SEGMENT 2]

Disadvantages of being an Only Child

Only children could develop “little emperor syndrome” if showered with all the love and attention from parents, making them act and feel like a “little emperor.”

Only children can get used to their parents doing everything for them and expect it all the time.

An only child can lack self-confidence.

They also lack the help of older siblings and can put too much pressure on the parents which could lead to conflicts.
Parents of only children can become too attached to their child’s success and try to live through them rather than give them space.

These children can experience loneliness. Not having someone around their age, like a sibling, to play with on a daily basis or to share their thoughts and feelings with can be difficult.

When their parents get older, only children have to take on the responsibility of taking care of their parents alone can be overwhelming.

Parents can put too much pressure on the only child, causing anxiety and low self-esteem.

  • In developed countries today, more than 47 percent of households with children are one-child families. Studies have shown that one of the main reasons parents have more than one child is because they fear their first child will grow up lonely without a sibling.
  • However, research has said that only children are no more selfish, spoiled, or lonely than anyone with siblings. In fact, some are even better at socializing with adults and have better relationships with their parents.
  • Having an only child can be much easier on parents. They’re able to care for the child more with more time devoted to them. But no matter what, there’s pros and cons to both sides, and there’s nothing wrong with having one child, multiple, or none at all. It’s the choice of the parents on how many kids they want to have, and there’s goods to all of them.

[AD2: ENTERTAINMENT]

[SEGMENT 3]

Questions about being in a Single Child Home.

What was it like growing up without seeing your brother much?

Do you/Did you wish you brother was around more often than he was?

How did you get along with your brother when he was around when you were younger?

Do you feel you missed out on anything with your brother not being around?

Were there ever times you felt lonely or wished you had someone your age to be around?

How different is your life compared to the life of your friends who have siblings?

Do you think you are less empathetic than someone who grew up with closer siblings?

Did being in a single child home affect how grateful you are?

Would you say you’re spoiled?

Do you think living in a single child home connected you better with your parents?

Do you think not having a sibling around affected your social life?

How would you describe your relationships with your brother now?

Can you think of other benefits you’ve experienced from being in a single child home that we didn’t list?

Can you think of other downfalls you’ve experienced that we haven’t listed?

What’s better? Being a single child or having siblings?

[TRANSITION]

[CLOSE]
Closing thoughts shoutouts
Show Plugs
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Tunein

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[OUTRO AND CREDITS]

Transcription

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[Music]

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insightful podcasts

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[Music]

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by informative hosts

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[Music]

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insights into things a podcast network

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[Music]

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welcome to insights into teens a podcast

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series exploring the issues and

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challenges of today’s youth

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your hosts are joseph and madison whalen

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a father and daughter team

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making their way through the challenges

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of the teenage years

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[Applause]

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welcome to insights in the teens this is

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episode 108

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being in a single child home i am your

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host joseph whalen

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and my encouraging and inspiring co-host

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madison whalen

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hi everyone how you doing today maddie

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i’m doing all right how about you

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i’m doing fantastic today

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so the title for this podcast is kind of

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deceiving i guess um the original topic

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topic was going to be what it’s like

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being

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an only child well technically you’re

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not an only child it’s just that

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your brother doesn’t live with us yeah

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so

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it’s a single child home which covers

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both your situation

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and just people who are only child yeah

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children

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however you say anyway

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so today we’re going to be talking about

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what it’s like to live in a single child

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home

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um what it’s like to be an only child

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we’ll also talk about the advantages of

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being an only child as well as the

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disadvantages

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and then we’ll get some insight into

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uh what it’s like being a single child

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from you

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because you are

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and how it’s affected your life alrighty

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uh

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before we get started though i would

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encourage folks to subscribe to the

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podcast

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if you want to get video versions of all

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of our podcast shows you can look up

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insights into things if you just want

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the audio version of this podcast you

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can look up insights in the teens

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we are listed on apple podcast spotify

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google stitcher iheartradio amazon and

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any place you can get a podcast

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we’re on twitter at insights underscore

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into things

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or you can get links to all those and

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direct

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contact to us on our website at

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http://www.insightsintothings.com

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shall we get started yes we shall okay

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[Music]

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so you were kind enough to do some

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research for us

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uh and the site that you chose to do

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research from

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was wehavekids.com not yourmom.com

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that’s we’re not using that one this

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week yeah we know

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so the research that you did talked

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about is it good to be an only child why

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don’t you give us some of the background

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on the research that you did

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so there’s a myth that some people

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believe

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um that someone who is an only

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child is likely to be more selfish than

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someone with siblings

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kids with no siblings used to be

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commonly called the lonely child

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these kids are shown to be more

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anti-social and don’t work well with

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others

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but there are certain skills that single

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children have that those with siblings

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do not

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so there are there are advantages and

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disadvantages

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apparently to being an only child

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um why don’t we talk about the

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advantages of being

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an elderly child or in your case a child

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from a single

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child household so the first one that

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they talk about here

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is that only uh children

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um not only children

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he got it written wrong there um

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children from a single child household

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get all the love and attention of their

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parents without having to split it

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between

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siblings so if you’re the only one in

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the house you get all the attention

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is that is that something that you can

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attest to in your experience

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i mean yeah not that you don’t love not

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that you guys don’t love sam any less

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it’s just that being with you guys all

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the time

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you definitely devote a lot of your love

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and attention towards

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the child that lives at the home with

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you so

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i would definitely say i get a bunch of

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love and attention

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um whenever sam’s not around and even

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when students around we both

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you both kind of distribute the love

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equally yeah

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you’re kind of front and center there

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you know when sam’s not here so

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the attention has to go somewhere and

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either goes to the cats or it goes to

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you

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so the next thing they talk about is

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whatever and only child’s parents

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buy them they don’t have to share it

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with

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any of their other siblings now i can

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attest to that because i grew up in a

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house with three older brothers

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and by the time something got to me

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clothes or toys or whatever it was

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usually handed down through three other

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brothers by the time i got to it it was

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very rare that i got

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new things just for me um

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so it kind of gave me an appreciation

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for those new things when i did get them

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and they were just for me

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does this sort of scenario play out with

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you where

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where you don’t have to share things and

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and if it does

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how does it play into your appreciation

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of the things that you get

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well you see a lot of people think only

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children don’t have to deal with

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hand-me-downs but

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you’d be surprised to think that i’ve

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actually had a couple hand-me-downs

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some of them being technology-based

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others being closed

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that kind of thing but i do get stuff

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that you guys buy me on just

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buy me new things and i’ve appreciated

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the things that have been handed down

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they worked perfectly fine

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and they suited what i wanted um

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and i definitely appreciate whenever you

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guys do get me something new

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that like i i really enjoy

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and i definitely appreciate you guys for

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that yeah and i

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i would agree with you 100 you’re not

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unappreciative of anything that we give

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you nor are you demanding or expecting

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or

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you know i wouldn’t say you’re spoiled

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because the stuff that we give you is

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not typically are not things that you

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ask

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for yeah um there are things that that

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you know mommy and daddy feel that you

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either should have or you deserve

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and and under those circumstances i

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think it’s perfectly fine

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so they go on to say that only children

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grow up to be more independent

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and can fend for themselves better than

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those with

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siblings as long as their parents

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haven’t spoiled them rotten

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um obviously you haven’t gotten to the

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point where you’re

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operating independently of of us at this

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point in time but what are your thoughts

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on that do you think

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being an only child you get the freedoms

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to

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explore that independence more than if

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if you had sam living here full time

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i mean probably because i’m one of those

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people who prefer to do independent work

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and that can probably be because i don’t

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really socialize much

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but i definitely am able to do work on

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my own i’m able to think

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on my own and i’ve done a lot of

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independent stuff

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and i think now especially when i’ve

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been doing

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schooling from home i think that

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actually

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really benefits me because i think i’m

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doing a lot better than

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someone who really wasn’t so independent

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and actually needs that extra help

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that’s a very good point they talk about

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only kids don’t have to live up to the

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expectations of their siblings and don’t

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need to be compared to

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their successes now again coming from

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a family with three older brothers i

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i wasn’t necessarily in that sort of

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situation with all my brothers just my

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next

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highest brother up in age he was four

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years older than me

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so there was a lot of uh

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you know don’t do what your brother did

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or do do it this way

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your brother was successful in this and

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you should be successful at it as well

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i didn’t get that so much with my older

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two brothers but the younger

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brother that was just above me i did um

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do you

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think uh something like that has had an

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effect on you

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where you haven’t had that

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that model to live up to to set those

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expectations to do you think that

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results in you having

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lower or lesser expectations placed on

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you

0:09:50.880,0:09:56.240
actually i’m pretty sure i i have higher

0:09:54.360,0:09:58.560
expectations now

0:09:56.240,0:10:02.160
you guys not you guys haven’t really put

0:09:58.560,0:10:05.440
any expectations for me to be like sam

0:10:02.160,0:10:07.279
because well i’ve never like heard you

0:10:05.440,0:10:10.000
say like oh you should be more like your

0:10:07.279,0:10:13.519
brother it was more or less

0:10:10.000,0:10:16.640
my own self telling me to improve

0:10:13.519,0:10:19.680
and thus i’ve tried to excel

0:10:16.640,0:10:22.560
in everything i do um and

0:10:19.680,0:10:25.760
i think it i don’t know if it if it

0:10:22.560,0:10:29.279
entirely affected the fact that i was

0:10:25.760,0:10:33.760
kind of raised um in an only child home

0:10:29.279,0:10:36.880
um but in a single child home but um

0:10:33.760,0:10:39.279
it could kind of have that effect and at

0:10:36.880,0:10:41.120
times it can be good and other times it

0:10:39.279,0:10:44.800
can probably be worrisome

0:10:41.120,0:10:47.279
so yeah and i think

0:10:44.800,0:10:48.399
in this case at least in your specific

0:10:47.279,0:10:51.920
case

0:10:48.399,0:10:53.360
this isn’t the situation um

0:10:51.920,0:10:55.519
because you tend to put those

0:10:53.360,0:10:58.240
expectations on yourself

0:10:55.519,0:10:59.440
so there’s no comparison that needs to

0:10:58.240,0:11:03.120
happen there

0:10:59.440,0:11:05.040
you’re just very demanding of yourself

0:11:03.120,0:11:07.040
to the point that you’re more demanding

0:11:05.040,0:11:09.440
of yourself than mommy and daddy are

0:11:07.040,0:11:10.959
yeah i don’t think that would have

0:11:09.440,0:11:13.920
changed all that much

0:11:10.959,0:11:15.440
if if you had a sibling that was living

0:11:13.920,0:11:17.279
here full-time

0:11:15.440,0:11:18.560
i think you’d still push yourself just

0:11:17.279,0:11:21.600
as hard

0:11:18.560,0:11:22.880
not to match their achievements or

0:11:21.600,0:11:26.320
accomplishments but

0:11:22.880,0:11:29.440
just for your own satisfaction true

0:11:26.320,0:11:30.000
um so they say only only children’s

0:11:29.440,0:11:31.920
parents

0:11:30.000,0:11:33.360
will be able to set more money and

0:11:31.920,0:11:38.079
attention aside

0:11:33.360,0:11:40.000
for their child’s education um

0:11:38.079,0:11:41.600
we obviously you know you’re not college

0:11:40.000,0:11:44.640
age at this point so it doesn’t

0:11:41.600,0:11:48.240
100 apply but as far as

0:11:44.640,0:11:49.680
money in general do you think being an

0:11:48.240,0:11:52.720
only child you get

0:11:49.680,0:11:56.160
more material

0:11:52.720,0:11:59.120
uh satisfaction or more material

0:11:56.160,0:12:00.959
wealth from being an only child do you

0:11:59.120,0:12:03.279
think that would change if sam was here

0:12:00.959,0:12:05.200
on a regular basis i mean yeah i’d

0:12:03.279,0:12:06.720
probably think that would change a bit

0:12:05.200,0:12:10.800
because

0:12:06.720,0:12:13.440
in a way i’m spoiled in a good way

0:12:10.800,0:12:14.160
um i’m not spoiled to the point where i

0:12:13.440,0:12:17.279
expect

0:12:14.160,0:12:18.720
everything or i demand things and i

0:12:17.279,0:12:20.399
definitely show appreciation for the

0:12:18.720,0:12:24.000
things that i do get

0:12:20.399,0:12:26.480
but in terms of what i’m given i

0:12:24.000,0:12:28.880
definitely think i get more than what

0:12:26.480,0:12:29.760
some what i would probably get if sam

0:12:28.880,0:12:33.600
was around

0:12:29.760,0:12:36.720
more so okay i’m not sure i

0:12:33.600,0:12:37.200
entirely agree with that but i because i

0:12:36.720,0:12:39.200
think

0:12:37.200,0:12:40.320
because i think your needs and his needs

0:12:39.200,0:12:43.120
are very different

0:12:40.320,0:12:44.560
true and the costs associated with those

0:12:43.120,0:12:48.240
needs are very different

0:12:44.560,0:12:51.600
true um plus the fact that

0:12:48.240,0:12:54.320
um we’ve always given you

0:12:51.600,0:12:56.000
well and sam when sam was with us

0:12:54.320,0:12:57.360
staying with us

0:12:56.000,0:12:59.200
we always gave both of you the

0:12:57.360,0:13:02.240
opportunity to earn

0:12:59.200,0:13:03.920
money yeah and you both took advantage

0:13:02.240,0:13:05.600
of that and

0:13:03.920,0:13:07.839
you had your own money to spend if you

0:13:05.600,0:13:09.839
needed if we went to a convention or

0:13:07.839,0:13:13.279
something like that

0:13:09.839,0:13:16.320
so you aren’t that much of a

0:13:13.279,0:13:19.360
financial burden on us

0:13:16.320,0:13:20.000
because you’re generally financially

0:13:19.360,0:13:22.639
independent when

0:13:20.000,0:13:24.079
it comes to the the novelty things that

0:13:22.639,0:13:27.360
you want you know what i mean

0:13:24.079,0:13:30.480
yeah true that makes sense i am

0:13:27.360,0:13:33.040
pretty frugal with my money yes yes

0:13:30.480,0:13:35.120
some would say cheap i’m not cheap no

0:13:33.040,0:13:37.440
you’re cheap trust me

0:13:35.120,0:13:39.120
really you always you say that i’m not

0:13:37.440,0:13:40.800
cheap and you say that i’m frugal yet

0:13:39.120,0:13:43.680
why are you calling me cheap now you

0:13:40.800,0:13:45.360
are quick to spend our money but you do

0:13:43.680,0:13:45.839
not like to spend your own money you

0:13:45.360,0:13:47.920
really

0:13:45.839,0:13:48.880
learn the value of a dollar by earning

0:13:47.920,0:13:52.480
it yourself

0:13:48.880,0:13:54.959
that is a lesson that’s well learned

0:13:52.480,0:13:55.519
so yes okay you’re frugal does it is

0:13:54.959,0:13:58.000
that better

0:13:55.519,0:13:58.959
yes okay you’re frugal i’d appreciate

0:13:58.000,0:14:03.040
being called that

0:13:58.959,0:14:04.639
sure uh what else do we have here so

0:14:03.040,0:14:06.639
only children can become more

0:14:04.639,0:14:08.480
comfortable talking to adults

0:14:06.639,0:14:09.680
when they aren’t surrounded by kids a

0:14:08.480,0:14:14.399
few years younger or

0:14:09.680,0:14:14.399
older than them given your

0:14:14.839,0:14:21.760
anti nature

0:14:18.160,0:14:23.360
of amongst other people

0:14:21.760,0:14:24.959
at least people that you don’t know i

0:14:23.360,0:14:27.839
don’t know if this is really the case

0:14:24.959,0:14:29.839
but do you think being an only child

0:14:27.839,0:14:32.079
makes you more comfortable or more

0:14:29.839,0:14:33.760
suited for having a conversation with an

0:14:32.079,0:14:37.600
adult on a more

0:14:33.760,0:14:41.760
peer-to-peer level i mean

0:14:37.600,0:14:44.240
i definitely think i actually have a bit

0:14:41.760,0:14:45.760
i think i am able to talk to adults a

0:14:44.240,0:14:48.560
little better than i’m able to

0:14:45.760,0:14:50.560
talk to people who are a couple years

0:14:48.560,0:14:55.279
older or younger than me

0:14:50.560,0:14:58.399
um i think like i’m still able to talk

0:14:55.279,0:14:58.880
still being an anti-social person it’s

0:14:58.399,0:15:00.560
not

0:14:58.880,0:15:02.480
that big of a difference but i

0:15:00.560,0:15:07.279
definitely think i

0:15:02.480,0:15:09.839
if i was to isn’t because

0:15:07.279,0:15:11.600
from pretty much most of my life um

0:15:09.839,0:15:12.160
whenever we would go with extended

0:15:11.600,0:15:14.560
family

0:15:12.160,0:15:16.560
and such i was mainly surrounded by

0:15:14.560,0:15:18.720
people who were always older than me

0:15:16.560,0:15:21.040
there was no one really my age for the

0:15:18.720,0:15:24.880
most part no one really younger than me

0:15:21.040,0:15:26.800
so i definitely think that scenario

0:15:24.880,0:15:28.560
i definitely think i’m much more

0:15:26.800,0:15:30.160
comfortable talking along

0:15:28.560,0:15:31.839
and getting along with older people than

0:15:30.160,0:15:33.199
i am younger people but i have people

0:15:31.839,0:15:35.839
who are younger than me that i am

0:15:33.199,0:15:39.759
friends with so

0:15:35.839,0:15:41.519
um so a happy balance there yeah okay

0:15:39.759,0:15:43.920
so the last thing they talk about here

0:15:41.519,0:15:44.880
is that parents are able to teach only

0:15:43.920,0:15:47.120
children

0:15:44.880,0:15:48.720
how to be independent to build their

0:15:47.120,0:15:51.759
confidence and feel less

0:15:48.720,0:15:53.920
pressure does that

0:15:51.759,0:15:54.800
is that working for you because i know

0:15:53.920,0:15:56.720
you’ve got

0:15:54.800,0:15:58.320
you know we’ve had a number of uh

0:15:56.720,0:15:59.600
podcasts

0:15:58.320,0:16:01.759
where we’ve talked about some of the

0:15:59.600,0:16:03.600
anxiety and confidence issues you had

0:16:01.759,0:16:08.240
and stuff like that

0:16:03.600,0:16:11.519
do you think you would be more confident

0:16:08.240,0:16:13.519
and feel less pressure if

0:16:11.519,0:16:14.560
your sibling was around on a more

0:16:13.519,0:16:18.480
regular basis

0:16:14.560,0:16:19.440
than you do now i mean i’m not entirely

0:16:18.480,0:16:23.120
sure

0:16:19.440,0:16:25.600
like i’ve been getting a lot better now

0:16:23.120,0:16:27.680
um because i’ve kind of now built a bit

0:16:25.600,0:16:30.240
more of my confidence

0:16:27.680,0:16:33.199
um i don’t know entirely what would

0:16:30.240,0:16:36.639
happen if sam would stay here full time

0:16:33.199,0:16:38.560
like um even though we do see him i

0:16:36.639,0:16:40.720
haven’t really talked with him that much

0:16:38.560,0:16:42.560
so maybe if he did live here i might

0:16:40.720,0:16:44.399
talk with him more and maybe that could

0:16:42.560,0:16:47.199
build a bit more of my confidence and

0:16:44.399,0:16:51.040
make me a little less antisocial but

0:16:47.199,0:16:52.000
um okay and it’s all theoretical at this

0:16:51.040,0:16:54.800
point

0:16:52.000,0:16:56.639
and your guess is as good as mine yeah

0:16:54.800,0:16:59.199
uh that was all we had for the

0:16:56.639,0:17:00.399
advantages for being an only child we’re

0:16:59.199,0:17:01.759
going to take a quick break and we’ll

0:17:00.399,0:17:02.800
come back and we’ll talk about the

0:17:01.759,0:17:05.480
disadvantages

0:17:02.800,0:17:13.760
of being an only child

0:17:05.480,0:17:16.799
[Music]

0:17:13.760,0:17:19.520
for over seven years the second sith

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empire has been the premier community

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guild

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in the online game star wars the old

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republic

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with hundreds of friendly and helpful

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active members

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a weekly schedule of nightly events

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annual guild meet and greets and an

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active community

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both on the web and on discord

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the second civ empire is more than your

0:17:42.799,0:17:48.480
typical gaming group

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we’re family join us on the star forge

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server

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for nightly events such as operations

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flash points world boss hunts

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star wars trivia guild lottery and much

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more

0:18:01.280,0:18:08.259
visit us on the web today at

0:18:05.200,0:18:08.259
[Music]

0:18:12.840,0:18:17.679
http://www.the2ndsithempire.com

0:18:15.679,0:18:20.160
welcome back to insights into teens

0:18:17.679,0:18:23.360
today we’re talking about

0:18:20.160,0:18:26.320
being an only child or or a single child

0:18:23.360,0:18:27.200
uh household and we’re going to talk a

0:18:26.320,0:18:28.000
little bit about some of the

0:18:27.200,0:18:30.720
disadvantages

0:18:28.000,0:18:31.600
of being an only child so the research

0:18:30.720,0:18:33.600
that you did

0:18:31.600,0:18:34.960
tells us that only children could

0:18:33.600,0:18:38.559
develop quote

0:18:34.960,0:18:40.400
little emperor or empress syndrome

0:18:38.559,0:18:41.840
if showered with all the love and

0:18:40.400,0:18:44.720
attention from parents

0:18:41.840,0:18:47.039
making them act and feel like a little

0:18:44.720,0:18:48.960
emperor or empress

0:18:47.039,0:18:50.960
do you think that that’s the case with

0:18:48.960,0:18:54.080
you probably not

0:18:50.960,0:18:57.280
like i don’t order you guys around um

0:18:54.080,0:18:57.840
i help i help you guys out um whenever

0:18:57.280,0:18:59.520
you

0:18:57.840,0:19:01.039
need a little bit of help so i

0:18:59.520,0:19:03.200
definitely don’t think

0:19:01.039,0:19:04.960
that acting like an emperor like a

0:19:03.200,0:19:08.240
little emperor or empress

0:19:04.960,0:19:09.760
would probably do that um i appreciate

0:19:08.240,0:19:10.720
everything that you guys do and i don’t

0:19:09.760,0:19:13.840
demand you do

0:19:10.720,0:19:17.360
things um and i don’t like

0:19:13.840,0:19:18.799
expect things to be done um i help you

0:19:17.360,0:19:20.400
guys out and

0:19:18.799,0:19:22.720
yeah i don’t really think that i’ve

0:19:20.400,0:19:24.799
really had that experience

0:19:22.720,0:19:27.919
and i would agree you you do not have a

0:19:24.799,0:19:29.919
napoleon complex

0:19:27.919,0:19:32.000
uh they say only children can get used

0:19:29.919,0:19:34.400
to their parents doing everything for

0:19:32.000,0:19:36.640
them and expect it all the time

0:19:34.400,0:19:37.440
now do mommy and daddy do everything for

0:19:36.640,0:19:39.760
you or

0:19:37.440,0:19:41.360
are you expected to sort of keep up your

0:19:39.760,0:19:43.200
part of the household and

0:19:41.360,0:19:44.720
family life i mean the fact that i’ve

0:19:43.200,0:19:47.120
been given chores

0:19:44.720,0:19:49.760
probably answers that question i

0:19:47.120,0:19:54.000
definitely am expected to

0:19:49.760,0:19:55.919
vacuum clean um and do laundry

0:19:54.000,0:19:57.679
and there were some like small things

0:19:55.919,0:19:59.760
that you guys asked me to do like mommy

0:19:57.679,0:20:03.280
asked me to get some green beans from

0:19:59.760,0:20:05.280
um downstairs so yeah i definitely say

0:20:03.280,0:20:08.400
that i don’t expect you guys to do

0:20:05.280,0:20:11.039
all everything um

0:20:08.400,0:20:11.679
and including in keeping the house clean

0:20:11.039,0:20:13.520
and

0:20:11.679,0:20:16.960
i definitely try and help out any way i

0:20:13.520,0:20:19.320
can yeah it’s a team effort

0:20:16.960,0:20:21.280
um only children can lack

0:20:19.320,0:20:24.080
self-confidence do you think you lack

0:20:21.280,0:20:26.240
self-confidence

0:20:24.080,0:20:31.520
[Music]

0:20:26.240,0:20:35.280
in a way yeah i have had moments where

0:20:31.520,0:20:37.919
although i do um although i do

0:20:35.280,0:20:40.400
have do good in certain things that i

0:20:37.919,0:20:43.679
lack self-confidence in

0:20:40.400,0:20:46.159
there are i do have some problems with

0:20:43.679,0:20:48.799
trying to be confident in myself and

0:20:46.159,0:20:52.159
i’ve gotten better it’s just

0:20:48.799,0:20:54.000
still not really very high now do you

0:20:52.159,0:20:56.960
think that lack of self-confidence

0:20:54.000,0:20:58.720
is the product or a byproduct of being

0:20:56.960,0:21:00.880
in an only child household

0:20:58.720,0:21:02.240
i mean i don’t entirely think so like

0:21:00.880,0:21:06.080
you mentioned

0:21:02.240,0:21:09.400
before when i told you um how i kind of

0:21:06.080,0:21:10.720
push myself in certain ways a lot of my

0:21:09.400,0:21:14.159
self-confidence

0:21:10.720,0:21:15.760
um a lot of my lack of self-confidence

0:21:14.159,0:21:17.440
probably comes from that and the fact

0:21:15.760,0:21:19.679
that you mentioned that i would probably

0:21:17.440,0:21:20.799
still be pushing myself even if sam was

0:21:19.679,0:21:22.559
around

0:21:20.799,0:21:24.320
i probably still kind of lack a bit of

0:21:22.559,0:21:27.280
self-confidence but if i

0:21:24.320,0:21:28.720
but if sam was around i think he could

0:21:27.280,0:21:30.880
it could be another

0:21:28.720,0:21:31.840
um he could try and at least help me in

0:21:30.880,0:21:34.880
any way he could

0:21:31.840,0:21:35.679
sure yeah i’m sure he would so they also

0:21:34.880,0:21:38.240
say that

0:21:35.679,0:21:39.520
only children lack the help of older

0:21:38.240,0:21:41.520
siblings

0:21:39.520,0:21:45.120
and can put too much pressure on the

0:21:41.520,0:21:48.080
parents which could lead to conflicts

0:21:45.120,0:21:48.480
do you think that too much is asked of

0:21:48.080,0:21:50.159
you

0:21:48.480,0:21:52.799
that if you had another sibling here

0:21:50.159,0:21:55.919
where the work was divided among you

0:21:52.799,0:21:57.200
that it would be easier on you i don’t

0:21:55.919,0:22:00.480
think that the work

0:21:57.200,0:22:02.799
um i have right now is fine um

0:22:00.480,0:22:06.080
the chores are not overbearing and i’ve

0:22:02.799,0:22:10.720
gotten used to doing them at this point

0:22:06.080,0:22:12.720
um yeah any other type of work that you

0:22:10.720,0:22:15.679
guys give me like tasks

0:22:12.720,0:22:16.880
i’m able to do normally and in fact i’m

0:22:15.679,0:22:19.039
able to do them better

0:22:16.880,0:22:20.159
probably because i’m fine with doing

0:22:19.039,0:22:24.159
them independently

0:22:20.159,0:22:26.400
so i wouldn’t say that that um

0:22:24.159,0:22:28.640
happens too much i think that’s a good

0:22:26.400,0:22:31.520
point it’s fair observation

0:22:28.640,0:22:32.240
this next one’s kind of uh subjective

0:22:31.520,0:22:35.039
and more

0:22:32.240,0:22:36.880
probably for mommy or eye to answer but

0:22:35.039,0:22:37.679
they say that parents of only children

0:22:36.880,0:22:40.559
can become

0:22:37.679,0:22:42.320
too attached to their child’s success

0:22:40.559,0:22:45.280
and try to live through them

0:22:42.320,0:22:46.960
rather than give them space now a lot of

0:22:45.280,0:22:50.159
times you see this especially

0:22:46.960,0:22:51.760
with athletics where

0:22:50.159,0:22:53.520
you get those parents who live

0:22:51.760,0:22:54.080
vicariously through their kids on the

0:22:53.520,0:22:56.960
football

0:22:54.080,0:22:58.640
field or the hockey rink or whatever and

0:22:56.960,0:23:00.480
you know they take the parents take it

0:22:58.640,0:23:02.159
far more seriously than they should and

0:23:00.480,0:23:04.799
far more seriously than the

0:23:02.159,0:23:06.320
kids do but this could also be attached

0:23:04.799,0:23:09.200
to academic achievement

0:23:06.320,0:23:09.600
professional achievement and so forth do

0:23:09.200,0:23:13.360
you

0:23:09.600,0:23:16.480
think that mommy and daddy

0:23:13.360,0:23:19.200
are that attached that we live

0:23:16.480,0:23:21.039
through your successes or do you feel

0:23:19.200,0:23:22.159
like you get the space you need to grow

0:23:21.039,0:23:23.840
and breathe

0:23:22.159,0:23:26.240
i definitely get the space i need to

0:23:23.840,0:23:28.120
grow and breathe and you guys don’t put

0:23:26.240,0:23:29.360
up and you guys really don’t live

0:23:28.120,0:23:32.559
vicariously

0:23:29.360,0:23:34.480
through me um and you don’t put

0:23:32.559,0:23:35.760
and i don’t have that pressure in the

0:23:34.480,0:23:38.480
back of my mind

0:23:35.760,0:23:39.280
from it um a lot of that pressure is

0:23:38.480,0:23:42.720
once again

0:23:39.280,0:23:45.600
just me just wanting to

0:23:42.720,0:23:46.960
be pushing myself forward um and i don’t

0:23:45.600,0:23:50.159
really think that you guys

0:23:46.960,0:23:51.840
affect that okay well that’s good

0:23:50.159,0:23:53.600
so i don’t i can check that off the

0:23:51.840,0:23:55.919
to-do list

0:23:53.600,0:23:56.640
um they say that these children can

0:23:55.919,0:23:59.120
experience

0:23:56.640,0:23:59.919
loneliness not having someone around

0:23:59.120,0:24:02.400
their age

0:23:59.919,0:24:02.960
like a sibling to play with on a daily

0:24:02.400,0:24:04.559
basis

0:24:02.960,0:24:06.400
or to share their thoughts and feelings

0:24:04.559,0:24:09.760
with can be difficult

0:24:06.400,0:24:11.520
and i want to sort of add to that that

0:24:09.760,0:24:13.760
especially under the circumstances we’re

0:24:11.520,0:24:17.120
living in now where you don’t have

0:24:13.760,0:24:20.240
direct interaction with your friends

0:24:17.120,0:24:21.600
can certainly lead to loneliness if you

0:24:20.240,0:24:24.080
don’t have someone

0:24:21.600,0:24:24.960
you know in the house to lean on do you

0:24:24.080,0:24:28.240
think you suffer

0:24:24.960,0:24:30.880
at all from this symptom well

0:24:28.240,0:24:32.720
i don’t think too much now but i do

0:24:30.880,0:24:35.760
remember that when i was

0:24:32.720,0:24:37.520
younger before i started experiencing

0:24:35.760,0:24:41.120
some of the main benefits

0:24:37.520,0:24:43.600
like independence um i would definitely

0:24:41.120,0:24:44.400
like want to ask you guys if you wanted

0:24:43.600,0:24:46.640
to play

0:24:44.400,0:24:48.720
and normally you guys would be doing

0:24:46.640,0:24:53.279
something and say that you’d be busy

0:24:48.720,0:24:56.240
and um after some point i kind of

0:24:53.279,0:24:57.679
just stopped asking stopped asking

0:24:56.240,0:25:01.360
that’s so sad

0:24:57.679,0:25:03.360
yeah it’s kind of i feel terrible now

0:25:01.360,0:25:04.559
it’s kind of sad when you think about it

0:25:03.360,0:25:06.720
but you know you should have talked

0:25:04.559,0:25:10.080
about these questions before the show

0:25:06.720,0:25:11.679
you know i kind of you know i kind of

0:25:10.080,0:25:13.440
grew from it and

0:25:11.679,0:25:15.440
you know i’m at least a little more

0:25:13.440,0:25:16.640
independent but i’m not distant from you

0:25:15.440,0:25:18.400
guys so that’s

0:25:16.640,0:25:20.240
good all right so let’s move on from

0:25:18.400,0:25:21.360
that painful question to the next one

0:25:20.240,0:25:23.520
that’s going to make us look like

0:25:21.360,0:25:26.480
terrible parents

0:25:23.520,0:25:28.159
when the parents of only children get

0:25:26.480,0:25:30.080
older the children have to take the

0:25:28.159,0:25:30.640
responsibility of taking care of their

0:25:30.080,0:25:33.679
parents

0:25:30.640,0:25:35.120
alone and it can be overwhelming is that

0:25:33.679,0:25:36.720
something that you fear

0:25:35.120,0:25:38.400
you know when mommy and daddy get older

0:25:36.720,0:25:40.480
having to take care of us

0:25:38.400,0:25:41.440
i mean i don’t mind having to take care

0:25:40.480,0:25:43.919
of you guys

0:25:41.440,0:25:44.480
um but of course i’m probably gonna

0:25:43.919,0:25:47.520
regret

0:25:44.480,0:25:50.799
saying this when i’m older and i realize

0:25:47.520,0:25:53.039
oh so i have to do all this great but

0:25:50.799,0:25:54.559
i’m pretty sure that more than likely

0:25:53.039,0:25:57.279
sam will be there

0:25:54.559,0:25:59.279
um to help you guys in at least some

0:25:57.279,0:26:02.080
capacity so i won’t be

0:25:59.279,0:26:03.120
entirely alone since i’m not really an

0:26:02.080,0:26:04.720
only child

0:26:03.120,0:26:06.320
and this is kind of something that

0:26:04.720,0:26:09.600
happens outside

0:26:06.320,0:26:11.679
of being in a single child home so but

0:26:09.600,0:26:13.520
there is a chance where i might have to

0:26:11.679,0:26:16.320
take care of you guys alone

0:26:13.520,0:26:17.360
um and you know i’ll just take it as it

0:26:16.320,0:26:19.919
comes i guess

0:26:17.360,0:26:21.360
there you go that’s a good attitude and

0:26:19.919,0:26:22.799
when i get to that point i’m just gonna

0:26:21.360,0:26:25.840
just open the door and i’ll just wander

0:26:22.799,0:26:25.840
off into the woods

0:26:26.400,0:26:30.080
so let one more question to make the

0:26:28.320,0:26:32.480
parents look bad

0:26:30.080,0:26:33.600
so parents can put too much pressure on

0:26:32.480,0:26:37.120
the only child

0:26:33.600,0:26:39.600
causing anxiety and low self-esteem

0:26:37.120,0:26:41.039
so are mommy and daddy guilty of that

0:26:39.600,0:26:44.240
yet

0:26:41.039,0:26:45.919
no i’m guilty of it myself

0:26:44.240,0:26:47.840
and you guys are the ones that actually

0:26:45.919,0:26:50.960
have to help me um

0:26:47.840,0:26:53.919
not do that to myself um

0:26:50.960,0:26:56.720
so i don’t think that it’s really your

0:26:53.919,0:27:00.240
you at fault or the fault of me being

0:26:56.720,0:27:04.080
an only child in a single child home

0:27:00.240,0:27:05.600
uh and it’s mainly just me doing it

0:27:04.080,0:27:07.600
okay good then i don’t feel too bad

0:27:05.600,0:27:10.159
about that question

0:27:07.600,0:27:12.159
so the rest we have is kind of more fyi

0:27:10.159,0:27:13.760
information than anything else

0:27:12.159,0:27:15.919
they say in developed countries today

0:27:13.760,0:27:16.799
more than 47 percent of households with

0:27:15.919,0:27:19.120
children

0:27:16.799,0:27:21.200
are one-child families which i didn’t

0:27:19.120,0:27:22.720
realize it was that high

0:27:21.200,0:27:24.399
studies have shown that one of the main

0:27:22.720,0:27:26.240
reasons parents

0:27:24.399,0:27:28.720
have more than one child is because they

0:27:26.240,0:27:33.120
fear the first child will grow up lonely

0:27:28.720,0:27:36.720
without a sibling now if you flash back

0:27:33.120,0:27:39.039
100 years ago 150 years ago

0:27:36.720,0:27:41.039
you had much larger families so you had

0:27:39.039,0:27:44.480
families that had

0:27:41.039,0:27:45.919
five eight ten siblings and the reason

0:27:44.480,0:27:49.039
for that was because of

0:27:45.919,0:27:50.880
how poor health care was so a high

0:27:49.039,0:27:52.880
percentage of those kids never made it

0:27:50.880,0:27:55.279
past the age of 15.

0:27:52.880,0:27:57.360
so you wound up having a lot of kids to

0:27:55.279,0:28:00.799
increase your chances of

0:27:57.360,0:28:03.120
of survival i guess so to speak yeah

0:28:00.799,0:28:05.360
they say however researchers said that

0:28:03.120,0:28:08.320
only children are no more selfish

0:28:05.360,0:28:10.159
spoiled or lonely than anyone with

0:28:08.320,0:28:12.240
siblings in fact

0:28:10.159,0:28:14.399
some are even better at socializing with

0:28:12.240,0:28:16.159
adults and having better relationships

0:28:14.399,0:28:19.360
with their parents

0:28:16.159,0:28:22.080
now in my case i

0:28:19.360,0:28:23.440
certainly was not an only child but the

0:28:22.080,0:28:27.279
age difference between

0:28:23.440,0:28:28.960
me and my older siblings so you had me

0:28:27.279,0:28:32.000
then my next brother was four years

0:28:28.960,0:28:35.840
older then my next brother

0:28:32.000,0:28:37.679
from there was eight years older than me

0:28:35.840,0:28:39.840
and then my next brother was 10 years

0:28:37.679,0:28:42.240
older so

0:28:39.840,0:28:44.240
by the time i got to the point that i

0:28:42.240,0:28:46.080
could really associate with my siblings

0:28:44.240,0:28:47.679
my older two brothers were kind of out

0:28:46.080,0:28:49.120
of the house and out of the picture for

0:28:47.679,0:28:52.320
the most part

0:28:49.120,0:28:55.919
it was just my next brother up um

0:28:52.320,0:28:57.919
and he didn’t like me so i mean

0:28:55.919,0:28:59.279
there’s no easy way to sugarcoat that

0:28:57.919,0:29:01.039
yeah um

0:28:59.279,0:29:03.360
he was very jealous of me because of the

0:29:01.039,0:29:05.039
attention that i got that he was getting

0:29:03.360,0:29:05.679
before i came along which is pretty

0:29:05.039,0:29:08.960
typical

0:29:05.679,0:29:12.000
of of the younger youngest child

0:29:08.960,0:29:14.399
so as a result i grew up largely

0:29:12.000,0:29:15.360
by myself like i didn’t hang out with my

0:29:14.399,0:29:17.679
brothers or

0:29:15.360,0:29:19.360
play with my brothers or have deep

0:29:17.679,0:29:20.880
meaningful conversations with them or

0:29:19.360,0:29:22.720
anything like that i couldn’t turn to

0:29:20.880,0:29:26.399
them with problems

0:29:22.720,0:29:27.440
so a lot of what i did was sort of along

0:29:26.399,0:29:30.720
the lines of

0:29:27.440,0:29:32.880
a single child and as a result

0:29:30.720,0:29:36.399
i wound up getting along much better

0:29:32.880,0:29:38.799
with adults much like you said

0:29:36.399,0:29:42.720
than i think i would have had i had a

0:29:38.799,0:29:42.720
closer relationship with my siblings

0:29:43.120,0:29:46.720
so i just thought that was kind of

0:29:44.720,0:29:48.960
anecdotal

0:29:46.720,0:29:50.559
having a child can be much easier on

0:29:48.960,0:29:53.679
parents they say

0:29:50.559,0:29:56.720
they’re able to care for the child

0:29:53.679,0:29:59.120
more with more time devoted to them

0:29:56.720,0:30:00.399
but no matter what there’s pros and cons

0:29:59.120,0:30:02.080
on both sides

0:30:00.399,0:30:05.120
and there’s nothing wrong with having

0:30:02.080,0:30:07.279
one child multiple or none at all

0:30:05.120,0:30:09.679
it’s the choice of the parents on how

0:30:07.279,0:30:12.799
many kids they want to have

0:30:09.679,0:30:14.320
and there’s good uh to all of them all

0:30:12.799,0:30:17.679
the choices

0:30:14.320,0:30:19.760
so let me ask you let’s flash forward

0:30:17.679,0:30:20.880
ten years into the future 20 years into

0:30:19.760,0:30:25.200
the future you’re

0:30:20.880,0:30:26.880
34 you’re in your 30s um

0:30:25.200,0:30:28.559
we’ve talked about you know the

0:30:26.880,0:30:30.399
possibility of you being a parent

0:30:28.559,0:30:33.440
sometime in the future

0:30:30.399,0:30:35.279
uh you weren’t too keen on going through

0:30:33.440,0:30:37.039
childbirth so you talked about adopting

0:30:35.279,0:30:39.200
what would be the ideal number of

0:30:37.039,0:30:42.320
children that you would like the parent

0:30:39.200,0:30:45.600
i mean i’d probably start out with

0:30:42.320,0:30:47.360
one and it kind of depends on how our

0:30:45.600,0:30:50.559
life goes from there

0:30:47.360,0:30:52.720
if i feel like i’m financially able to

0:30:50.559,0:30:53.840
take care of another child if i’m able

0:30:52.720,0:30:56.559
to have

0:30:53.840,0:30:58.080
if i have enough room for the kid and of

0:30:56.559,0:30:59.279
course i’m gonna have to consult my

0:30:58.080,0:31:02.880
first kid and see

0:30:59.279,0:31:05.440
hey would you like another sibling so

0:31:02.880,0:31:06.080
going about it in a very democratic sort

0:31:05.440,0:31:08.720
of way

0:31:06.080,0:31:10.000
i suppose so that’s interesting i guess

0:31:08.720,0:31:11.760
i guess when you’re adopting that’s

0:31:10.000,0:31:14.880
certainly one way to do it

0:31:11.760,0:31:16.240
um we’ll see how it gets there

0:31:14.880,0:31:17.840
so we’re gonna take another quick break

0:31:16.240,0:31:19.679
and then we’re gonna come back and get

0:31:17.840,0:31:21.279
your insights on

0:31:19.679,0:31:22.720
what i think is kind of a unique

0:31:21.279,0:31:25.810
situation here

0:31:22.720,0:31:30.840
hopefully the dog will stop barking by

0:31:25.810,0:31:33.840
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[Music]

0:32:35.279,0:32:39.679
welcome back to insights into teens we

0:32:37.840,0:32:41.039
are talking about what it’s like to be

0:32:39.679,0:32:43.679
in a single child

0:32:41.039,0:32:44.720
household so we’ve got about 15

0:32:43.679,0:32:47.039
questions here

0:32:44.720,0:32:49.679
kind of probing your situation because

0:32:47.039,0:32:51.519
your situation is kind of unique

0:32:49.679,0:32:52.880
you’re not an only child but your

0:32:51.519,0:32:56.000
brother doesn’t live with

0:32:52.880,0:32:57.519
us so there’s another sibling in the

0:32:56.000,0:33:00.640
works but not here

0:32:57.519,0:33:01.360
on a daily basis just to set sort of set

0:33:00.640,0:33:04.000
the uh

0:33:01.360,0:33:05.200
the ground rules here so the first

0:33:04.000,0:33:07.200
question i have for you is

0:33:05.200,0:33:09.360
what is it like growing up without

0:33:07.200,0:33:13.440
seeing your brother all that much

0:33:09.360,0:33:16.159
um it was kind of interesting

0:33:13.440,0:33:18.240
um at first i definitely did see him a

0:33:16.159,0:33:19.679
few times and it was always fun having

0:33:18.240,0:33:23.360
him around

0:33:19.679,0:33:28.159
um but whenever he wasn’t really around

0:33:23.360,0:33:28.159
i mean i i had a lot i didn’t

0:33:28.320,0:33:33.760
use your words um i definitely liked

0:33:32.080,0:33:37.200
hanging out with you guys

0:33:33.760,0:33:39.679
um we would do family games and we would

0:33:37.200,0:33:42.480
go on vacations together

0:33:39.679,0:33:43.840
um and we did a lot of um family bonding

0:33:42.480,0:33:46.640
activities

0:33:43.840,0:33:48.480
um and kind of like i mentioned before

0:33:46.640,0:33:50.159
there were moments where you guys were a

0:33:48.480,0:33:52.080
bit too busy to play with me

0:33:50.159,0:33:54.720
and i kind of got used to playing on my

0:33:52.080,0:33:56.960
own but when i did go to school i

0:33:54.720,0:34:01.600
actually made a decent amount of friends

0:33:56.960,0:34:03.840
um and i wasn’t anti-social at the time

0:34:01.600,0:34:06.559
um i definitely think when i got older i

0:34:03.840,0:34:10.399
kind of started being a little more

0:34:06.559,0:34:12.240
um anti-social but i still was able to

0:34:10.399,0:34:13.440
communicate with people and i still made

0:34:12.240,0:34:16.720
new friends

0:34:13.440,0:34:17.119
so i don’t entirely think that growing

0:34:16.720,0:34:20.480
up

0:34:17.119,0:34:22.399
i was a lonely child um

0:34:20.480,0:34:24.320
and i wouldn’t say i was a spoiled child

0:34:22.399,0:34:24.639
either because i appreciated all these

0:34:24.320,0:34:26.960
things

0:34:24.639,0:34:28.639
skipping questions ask questions later

0:34:26.960,0:34:31.919
on

0:34:28.639,0:34:34.960
i definitely um think that

0:34:31.919,0:34:35.440
for the lifestyle it was um fine it was

0:34:34.960,0:34:37.919
always

0:34:35.440,0:34:39.119
fun to see my brother come over and i

0:34:37.919,0:34:40.639
never really thought that there was

0:34:39.119,0:34:42.240
anything wrong with the fact that he

0:34:40.639,0:34:45.679
didn’t live with us

0:34:42.240,0:34:47.679
so do you or did you ever wish

0:34:45.679,0:34:48.960
that he was around more often than he

0:34:47.679,0:34:50.800
was

0:34:48.960,0:34:52.320
i mean yeah there were definitely

0:34:50.800,0:34:55.520
instances where

0:34:52.320,0:34:57.760
whenever he was around i am i

0:34:55.520,0:34:59.440
basically since he never really came

0:34:57.760,0:35:01.200
around that often i always kind of

0:34:59.440,0:35:03.119
smothered him and always wanted to spend

0:35:01.200,0:35:05.280
time with him when i was really young

0:35:03.119,0:35:07.200
so it was kind of that annoying younger

0:35:05.280,0:35:08.880
sister who’s kind of clingy and wanted

0:35:07.200,0:35:10.320
to just spend time with him

0:35:08.880,0:35:12.160
but that was mainly because he never

0:35:10.320,0:35:13.760
really was around that often

0:35:12.160,0:35:15.599
so how would you say you got along with

0:35:13.760,0:35:19.520
him when you bring hunger

0:35:15.599,0:35:22.720
um i’d say we were

0:35:19.520,0:35:24.640
fine um i don’t entirely know his

0:35:22.720,0:35:25.599
opinion on how we got along when we were

0:35:24.640,0:35:28.240
younger

0:35:25.599,0:35:29.200
um we actually had watched a video where

0:35:28.240,0:35:32.480
when he was

0:35:29.200,0:35:34.880
when we were very young um me

0:35:32.480,0:35:35.599
he uh me and him definitely had a

0:35:34.880,0:35:38.720
sibling

0:35:35.599,0:35:40.640
really a very close sibling relationship

0:35:38.720,0:35:42.160
when he got older i always enjoyed

0:35:40.640,0:35:44.240
watching him um

0:35:42.160,0:35:46.000
play video games i would normally sit

0:35:44.240,0:35:49.119
with him and watch him

0:35:46.000,0:35:50.640
um and that was kind of the main

0:35:49.119,0:35:53.440
interaction we had

0:35:50.640,0:35:55.200
um so i wouldn’t say we had a bad

0:35:53.440,0:35:57.760
relationship

0:35:55.200,0:35:58.640
it’s just when he did eventually stop

0:35:57.760,0:36:01.440
coming over

0:35:58.640,0:36:03.680
we kind of lost touch and our

0:36:01.440,0:36:05.599
relationship

0:36:03.680,0:36:06.720
i don’t exactly know where it is at this

0:36:05.599,0:36:08.400
point

0:36:06.720,0:36:11.040
do you feel like you missed out on

0:36:08.400,0:36:14.320
anything with him not being around

0:36:11.040,0:36:15.280
i mean probably i have friends who have

0:36:14.320,0:36:18.960
siblings

0:36:15.280,0:36:20.880
and um they go through different um

0:36:18.960,0:36:22.400
i’ve been over to my one friend’s house

0:36:20.880,0:36:24.400
who has a younger brother and they’ve

0:36:22.400,0:36:27.359
been through different um

0:36:24.400,0:36:29.359
instances where i’m like oh yeah i’ve

0:36:27.359,0:36:31.200
never really experienced that before and

0:36:29.359,0:36:34.480
sometimes i do wonder

0:36:31.200,0:36:36.560
what exactly would i have experienced if

0:36:34.480,0:36:38.000
he was around like would i have

0:36:36.560,0:36:40.880
experienced the whole

0:36:38.000,0:36:41.920
learning how to share things when i have

0:36:40.880,0:36:44.480
experienced

0:36:41.920,0:36:46.720
other things that kids who have siblings

0:36:44.480,0:36:49.760
have learned already

0:36:46.720,0:36:51.839
so you know now were there ever times

0:36:49.760,0:36:52.640
that you felt lonely or wished you had

0:36:51.839,0:36:55.760
someone else

0:36:52.640,0:36:56.560
around your age in the house i mean yeah

0:36:55.760,0:36:59.200
there were

0:36:56.560,0:37:01.280
instances at the start when you guys

0:36:59.200,0:37:04.640
were busy and i wanted to play

0:37:01.280,0:37:06.320
but you um but i needed to but i kind of

0:37:04.640,0:37:09.040
had to wait for you guys to play

0:37:06.320,0:37:10.240
so in those instances i was kind of like

0:37:09.040,0:37:12.160
you know it would be cool to have

0:37:10.240,0:37:13.119
someone around my age to be around to

0:37:12.160,0:37:15.280
play with

0:37:13.119,0:37:16.560
yeah so you kind of touched on it

0:37:15.280,0:37:18.400
already but how different

0:37:16.560,0:37:21.520
is your life compared to the life of

0:37:18.400,0:37:25.440
your friends who have siblings

0:37:21.520,0:37:29.119
probably a lot less uh

0:37:25.440,0:37:31.920
hectic i will say um my one friend

0:37:29.119,0:37:33.839
and her brother kind of have an on and

0:37:31.920,0:37:35.839
off relationship

0:37:33.839,0:37:37.280
one moment they can be best friends

0:37:35.839,0:37:39.680
other they can be

0:37:37.280,0:37:41.359
they can be fighting it was kind of an

0:37:39.680,0:37:43.280
on and off thing and i wasn’t

0:37:41.359,0:37:45.359
and i’ve never really experienced that

0:37:43.280,0:37:46.880
especially not with you guys

0:37:45.359,0:37:49.119
because we never really got into

0:37:46.880,0:37:50.960
arguments and me and sam

0:37:49.119,0:37:53.119
never really gotten arguments either

0:37:50.960,0:37:56.000
when he was around so

0:37:53.119,0:37:57.839
i probably missed out on that which

0:37:56.000,0:38:00.880
sounds kind of like a good thing

0:37:57.839,0:38:02.560
but i will be honest i kind of want to

0:38:00.880,0:38:03.200
see what that would actually have been

0:38:02.560,0:38:06.000
like

0:38:03.200,0:38:07.520
in a way that would be interesting now

0:38:06.000,0:38:09.839
do you think you’re any less

0:38:07.520,0:38:12.000
empathetic than someone who grew up

0:38:09.839,0:38:14.240
closer to their siblings

0:38:12.000,0:38:15.119
i actually think that i’m pretty

0:38:14.240,0:38:17.440
empathetic

0:38:15.119,0:38:18.480
um i help a lot of my friends out

0:38:17.440,0:38:22.320
whenever they’re feeling

0:38:18.480,0:38:26.000
sad and i’ve gone to really um

0:38:22.320,0:38:27.920
um understand how to put myself in their

0:38:26.000,0:38:30.640
shoes and i know how

0:38:27.920,0:38:32.640
um how they can feel when they’re sad

0:38:30.640,0:38:34.480
and i definitely make sure that i’m kind

0:38:32.640,0:38:37.520
of them whenever they are

0:38:34.480,0:38:39.200
um and i don’t think that um

0:38:37.520,0:38:42.160
and i think that’s kind of just the fact

0:38:39.200,0:38:45.200
that well the way you guys parented me

0:38:42.160,0:38:46.800
um rather than growing up with a sibling

0:38:45.200,0:38:48.160
who always helped me whenever i had

0:38:46.800,0:38:50.160
problems

0:38:48.160,0:38:52.400
um so i definitely don’t think that

0:38:50.160,0:38:54.079
aspect really affects only children for

0:38:52.400,0:38:57.520
the most part

0:38:54.079,0:38:58.960
okay that’s a very good point did being

0:38:57.520,0:39:01.839
a single child

0:38:58.960,0:39:03.599
uh home affect how grateful you are for

0:39:01.839,0:39:06.800
the things that you have

0:39:03.599,0:39:10.240
probably not i’m very grateful for

0:39:06.800,0:39:13.599
um anything that you guys get me um

0:39:10.240,0:39:17.440
and i don’t think that it made me

0:39:13.599,0:39:20.400
spoiled and um we kind of say it

0:39:17.440,0:39:21.599
is it’s spoiled in a good way like i’m

0:39:20.400,0:39:24.000
not a

0:39:21.599,0:39:26.240
i’m not a brat i wasn’t spoiled rotten

0:39:24.000,0:39:28.880
at the point where i became a nasty

0:39:26.240,0:39:31.200
person and always wanted everything

0:39:28.880,0:39:32.400
um i definitely appreciate what you guys

0:39:31.200,0:39:35.839
get me and i’ve learned the

0:39:32.400,0:39:38.000
value of a dollar like you mentioned so

0:39:35.839,0:39:39.680
i don’t really think it affected how

0:39:38.000,0:39:42.480
grateful i was

0:39:39.680,0:39:44.480
okay and i would agree with that do you

0:39:42.480,0:39:46.160
think living in a single child home

0:39:44.480,0:39:48.400
has connected you better with your

0:39:46.160,0:39:51.040
parents definitely

0:39:48.400,0:39:52.079
i have like it could also be the fact

0:39:51.040,0:39:54.640
that we’ve been stuck

0:39:52.079,0:39:56.320
with each other but in the nicest

0:39:54.640,0:39:57.760
possible way though in the nicest

0:39:56.320,0:40:00.880
possible way

0:39:57.760,0:40:03.040
um but i definitely

0:40:00.880,0:40:04.079
like you guys always said that one day

0:40:03.040,0:40:07.760
you’re going

0:40:04.079,0:40:10.640
um to not want to hang out with us and

0:40:07.760,0:40:12.400
so far that day has not come i we said

0:40:10.640,0:40:15.920
that about you and not about us

0:40:12.400,0:40:17.040
just to i know just to clarify yes

0:40:15.920,0:40:19.440
someday we’re not going to want to be

0:40:17.040,0:40:22.480
around you anymore enjoy it

0:40:19.440,0:40:25.599
again um yeah

0:40:22.480,0:40:28.079
um you said that one day that um

0:40:25.599,0:40:29.520
i was gonna not wanna be around you guys

0:40:28.079,0:40:31.200
anymore and you said that it was

0:40:29.520,0:40:33.280
probably gonna be around the time i

0:40:31.200,0:40:35.440
started becoming a teenager

0:40:33.280,0:40:37.599
and it’s you two of being a teenager and

0:40:35.440,0:40:39.200
i still haven’t experienced that and i’m

0:40:37.599,0:40:40.000
very close with you guys that’s because

0:40:39.200,0:40:41.520
we’re chaining

0:40:40.000,0:40:44.079
a desk in here making you do these

0:40:41.520,0:40:44.079
podcasts

0:40:44.160,0:40:50.880
oh that’s what that chain was on my leg

0:40:48.800,0:40:54.960
so do you think not having a sibling

0:40:50.880,0:40:54.960
around has affected your social life

0:40:55.520,0:41:01.280
um possibly i think it could have had an

0:40:59.200,0:41:04.079
effect on that because

0:41:01.280,0:41:04.960
um kind of when sam stopped coming

0:41:04.079,0:41:07.200
around

0:41:04.960,0:41:09.440
and even when he was around and he

0:41:07.200,0:41:12.240
wasn’t around that often

0:41:09.440,0:41:12.960
i definitely learned that i was i kind

0:41:12.240,0:41:16.240
of need

0:41:12.960,0:41:19.440
i kind of did things on my own um

0:41:16.240,0:41:22.720
i’m still a decently social person

0:41:19.440,0:41:24.960
um but i definitely think

0:41:22.720,0:41:26.880
if i had a better connection with him

0:41:24.960,0:41:30.480
i’d probably have it

0:41:26.880,0:41:33.040
i’d probably be a bit more social um

0:41:30.480,0:41:35.119
so i’m guessing it could have probably

0:41:33.040,0:41:36.960
affected that okay

0:41:35.119,0:41:39.920
how would you describe your relationship

0:41:36.960,0:41:42.319
with your brother now

0:41:39.920,0:41:42.319
um

0:41:43.520,0:41:52.240
uh our relationship

0:41:47.599,0:41:56.560
we kind of don’t exactly

0:41:52.240,0:41:58.400
have a specific relationship

0:41:56.560,0:42:00.880
like the fact that he’s been gone for a

0:41:58.400,0:42:03.440
few years now and the fact that we both

0:42:00.880,0:42:04.960
change pretty much and we have a pretty

0:42:03.440,0:42:08.000
significant age gap

0:42:04.960,0:42:09.760
um in years um

0:42:08.000,0:42:11.040
i think that’s kind of affected our

0:42:09.760,0:42:14.720
whole social life

0:42:11.040,0:42:17.760
because um i’m now into things

0:42:14.720,0:42:20.319
uh newer things than i was before and

0:42:17.760,0:42:22.720
i think you had mentioned before um on

0:42:20.319,0:42:24.720
one of the other podcasts on how

0:42:22.720,0:42:26.720
he doesn’t entirely know how to react to

0:42:24.720,0:42:29.760
me now because

0:42:26.720,0:42:30.960
i’m i’m the complete a completely

0:42:29.760,0:42:33.760
different person

0:42:30.960,0:42:35.280
from how i was years and years ago so

0:42:33.760,0:42:37.839
right

0:42:35.280,0:42:39.680
okay so can you think of any other

0:42:37.839,0:42:41.680
benefits you’ve experienced from

0:42:39.680,0:42:44.319
being in a single child home that we

0:42:41.680,0:42:49.040
haven’t discussed yet

0:42:44.319,0:42:49.040
um hmm

0:42:49.920,0:42:58.000
i mean i definitely think that

0:42:53.839,0:42:58.000
the fact that they didn’t mention well

0:42:58.400,0:43:02.960
i mean all the benefits are kind of on

0:43:00.640,0:43:05.200
the table and

0:43:02.960,0:43:06.400
i think there are some that i’m not

0:43:05.200,0:43:08.079
entire like

0:43:06.400,0:43:10.000
i definitely think i don’t experience

0:43:08.079,0:43:12.000
the bad um

0:43:10.000,0:43:13.920
the bad experiences that those with

0:43:12.000,0:43:17.440
siblings would have

0:43:13.920,0:43:18.800
um but then again i so yeah i definitely

0:43:17.440,0:43:21.680
don’t experience like

0:43:18.800,0:43:23.119
the bad sides of me of having a sibling

0:43:21.680,0:43:25.680
and the fact of having some

0:43:23.119,0:43:27.200
a sibling who more than likely hates me

0:43:25.680,0:43:29.520
and was jealous of me i’ve never done

0:43:27.200,0:43:31.280
that got the t-shirt

0:43:29.520,0:43:32.800
so yeah i definitely don’t experience

0:43:31.280,0:43:35.520
the negative sides of

0:43:32.800,0:43:35.920
having multi of having multiple siblings

0:43:35.520,0:43:37.680
so

0:43:35.920,0:43:39.599
all right so along those same lines can

0:43:37.680,0:43:40.560
you think of any of the downfalls you’ve

0:43:39.599,0:43:42.560
experienced

0:43:40.560,0:43:44.160
personally that we haven’t talked about

0:43:42.560,0:43:45.839
yet

0:43:44.160,0:43:47.599
i probably didn’t experience any of the

0:43:45.839,0:43:48.720
good things that came out of having

0:43:47.599,0:43:50.960
siblings

0:43:48.720,0:43:50.960
um

0:43:52.400,0:43:57.119
you think of some off the top of my head

0:43:54.880,0:44:00.720
um

0:43:57.119,0:44:02.960
i guess well

0:44:00.720,0:44:04.800
barring a sister’s clothes or something

0:44:02.960,0:44:07.839
like that you know

0:44:04.800,0:44:10.400
simple things yeah the simple things um

0:44:07.839,0:44:13.200
the simple joys that you kind of like

0:44:10.400,0:44:14.880
oh i really like that so i haven’t

0:44:13.200,0:44:16.960
experienced that but there are

0:44:14.880,0:44:18.160
simple joys i suppose that come from

0:44:16.960,0:44:21.680
being a single child

0:44:18.160,0:44:24.640
too so so the last question we have

0:44:21.680,0:44:26.480
is what’s better single child or

0:44:24.640,0:44:29.440
siblings

0:44:26.480,0:44:30.000
i mean i don’t think there’s really a

0:44:29.440,0:44:32.880
better

0:44:30.000,0:44:34.560
version of it kind of like what um the

0:44:32.880,0:44:36.160
article kind of already stated that’s

0:44:34.560,0:44:40.240
pros and cons to both

0:44:36.160,0:44:42.720
um uh i definitely think that people

0:44:40.240,0:44:43.520
who have siblings can definitely be

0:44:42.720,0:44:45.359
happy

0:44:43.520,0:44:47.280
even with all the downfalls and i

0:44:45.359,0:44:48.400
definitely think only children can also

0:44:47.280,0:44:50.560
be happy

0:44:48.400,0:44:53.040
even with all the downfalls because

0:44:50.560,0:44:54.880
there’s good advantages to all of them

0:44:53.040,0:44:57.680
um and i really don’t think one’s better

0:44:54.880,0:45:00.400
than the other okay

0:44:57.680,0:45:02.079
i think that was all we had for our

0:45:00.400,0:45:04.240
research that we wanted to discuss

0:45:02.079,0:45:05.119
today we’re going to take a quick break

0:45:04.240,0:45:07.839
come back and we’ll

0:45:05.119,0:45:09.620
uh leave the audience with your closing

0:45:07.839,0:45:14.560
remarks

0:45:09.620,0:45:17.680
[Music]

0:45:14.560,0:45:21.280
go for your closing remarks okay so

0:45:17.680,0:45:23.839
to everyone out there um

0:45:21.280,0:45:24.880
i just want to say that it’s okay to be

0:45:23.839,0:45:28.240
an only child

0:45:24.880,0:45:30.319
and it’s okay to have multiple siblings

0:45:28.240,0:45:31.520
one doesn’t make you better than the

0:45:30.319,0:45:33.760
other and

0:45:31.520,0:45:34.560
there’s pros and cons to both and to

0:45:33.760,0:45:37.280
parents who

0:45:34.560,0:45:39.280
are thinking about having kids i don’t

0:45:37.280,0:45:39.760
think you have to worry too much if your

0:45:39.280,0:45:42.960
kid

0:45:39.760,0:45:43.440
um is lonely i would just i would say

0:45:42.960,0:45:46.480
that

0:45:43.440,0:45:49.359
you can definitely have um

0:45:46.480,0:45:50.720
a happy life with only with their k with

0:45:49.359,0:45:53.520
your kid only having

0:45:50.720,0:45:55.280
with you only having one kid um but if

0:45:53.520,0:45:58.160
you do feel as though you want to have

0:45:55.280,0:45:58.960
another kid or more that’s fine it’s

0:45:58.160,0:46:02.079
really just

0:45:58.960,0:46:03.280
up to you okay well all right unless

0:46:02.079,0:46:04.640
you’re in china and then it’s against

0:46:03.280,0:46:06.079
the law

0:46:04.640,0:46:08.079
eat a license to have more than one kid

0:46:06.079,0:46:10.480
in china yeah

0:46:08.079,0:46:12.079
yeah anyway we’re not gonna admit well

0:46:10.480,0:46:13.200
people listen to us all over the world

0:46:12.079,0:46:15.760
so you never know

0:46:13.200,0:46:16.880
yeah just don’t want to encourage any

0:46:15.760,0:46:19.839
illegal activity that’s

0:46:16.880,0:46:20.880
all yeah yeah yeah yeah so that was all

0:46:19.839,0:46:23.599
we had for the show

0:46:20.880,0:46:25.359
today uh again i would encourage folks

0:46:23.599,0:46:26.079
to subscribe to the podcast you can get

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videos

0:46:26.079,0:46:30.800
of all of our shows if you look up

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insights into things

0:46:30.800,0:46:34.640
or just this version of the show you can

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get audio versions if you

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look up and subscribe to insights into

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we’re available on apple podcast spotify

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tune in etc etc

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except there really isn’t a podcast

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0:46:49.680,0:46:54.079
uh i also would encourage folks to reach

0:46:51.920,0:46:56.079
out contact us give us some show

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0:46:58.800,0:47:02.480
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you can get high-res versions of our

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videos on youtube at youtube.com

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if you threw that our way we’d really

0:47:25.760,0:47:29.359
appreciate it

0:47:27.280,0:47:33.200
audio versions of this podcast can be

0:47:29.359,0:47:36.079
found at podcast.insightsintheteens.com

0:47:33.200,0:47:37.440
you can give us feedback on facebook at

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much more on our website at

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0:47:50.960,0:47:54.559
and you and don’t forget to check out

0:47:53.200,0:47:56.800
our other two podcasts

0:47:54.559,0:47:57.839
insights in the entertainment hosted by

0:47:56.800,0:47:59.520
you and mommy

0:47:57.839,0:48:01.280
and it’s it’s in the tomorrow our

0:47:59.520,0:48:02.400
monthly podcast hosted by you and my

0:48:01.280,0:48:04.480
brother sam

0:48:02.400,0:48:06.130
outstanding another one in the books bye

0:48:04.480,0:48:28.530
everyone

0:48:06.130,0:48:28.530
[Music]

0:48:34.640,0:48:36.720
you

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